5The majority of the campers were still asleep when the klaxon sounded.
They weren't happy to be awake (or, at least, upright) after the klaxon sounded either, in part because it was the fourth of July and they had, for the most part, only gotten four hours of sleep, but also because of the singing.
It was loud. It was off key. And it was very, very drunkenly Irish.
It was also Nico di Angelo, to the amazement of every camper including, for once, Connor and Travis Stoll, trailed by a battalion of what appeared to be house-elves doing background singing.
"A dragon has come to our village today. We've asked him to leave, but he won't go away," Nico hollered as campers looked at each other in bemusement. The son of Hades had made it very clear that he was washing his hands of both Camps, and now he was back singing about dragons. "Now he's talked to our king and they worked out a deal. No homes will he burn and no crops will he steal!"
On cue, the house-elves sang a four-part harmonized 'steal-steal-steal', and Nico urged the sparkly pink unicorn he was riding to break into a trot. It didn't, so he hit it with his cape, which had rainbows on it. This didn't work either, so he gave it baby eyes but stopped when he almost impaled himself on its horn.
"Now there is but one catch, we dislike it a bunch. Twice a year he invites him a virgin to lunch. Well, we've no other choice, so the deal we'll respect." warbled Nico, "But we can't help but wonder and pause to reflect..."
At this point, the house-elves threw glittery purple pine cones in the air, presumably to celebrate the fact that they could throw glittery purple pine cones in the air, and started beat-boxing.
Nico got hit on the head with a pine cone, to tumultuous sighs of relief from all of the campers except for Leo, who was filming the event and was planning to post it on Youtube. However, even unconsciousness couldn't stop the last line of music:
"Do virgins taste better than those who are not? Are they salty, or sweeter, more juicy or what? Do you savor them slowly? Gulp them down on the spot?" He yawned, and toppled forward, only narrowly missing the horn.
"Do virgins taste better than those who are not?"
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:P
The song is Do Virgins Taste Better. The Brobdingnagian Bards do quite a good rendition.
This oneshot was inspired by a review left on an extremely flawed PJO/HOO crossover, so the idea of Nico riding a unicorn singing an Irish drinking song with the house-elves belongs to the reviewer, Mrs. Kitsune.