Hello, my lovelies.

I'm so pleased to see many of my old readers coming out of the woodwork to read my shit again.

And then the new little darlings. You will be mine soon enough.

This is a day early because I start my junior year of college tomorrow.

Lame.

This particular chapter was originally the first chapter of the original CYK. It has been revamped and extended a bit. Still the same concept, however.

Enjoy~


Third Person!

"So," Kisame said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the Akatsuki, "does anyone have any idea what the hell is going on?" His tail twitched in slight annoyance as he looked over the nine other individuals around him.

Itachi turned his silky black head toward his large, blue companion. "We have, in some way or another, become felines."

"We're fucking cats!" Hidan hissed, pouncing closer than necessary to the impassive Uchiha. Itachi merely turned his head away from Hidan and pretended the Jashinist didn't exist. "We are little animals with whiskers and tails and Jashin knows what else!"

Sasori rolled his chocolate brown eyes at Hidan's theatrics. "Felines and cats are the same thing you moron. And yes, typically, felines have whiskers and tails. Now shut up, you're causing a scene."

"What scene, un?" Deidara asked. "We're in a box, yeah." He was rewarded with an annoyed blank stare from his partner.

"It's a fucking huge, ass box!" Hidan said angrily. "There is no freaking way out of this piece of shit!" He walked over to one of the cardboard walls and pawed at it as if to prove his point.

"All of you need to calm down. We'll figure out something. Relax and perhaps we will see a way out of this," Pein said calmly.

"What are we going to do about food?" Kakuzu asked, his strange eyes drifting over Hidan's silver head to gaze at their leader.

Pein turned his attention to Kakuzu. "We'll figure it out when the time comes."

"We can always push the box over!" Tobi meowed excitedly, swatting Deidara's tail around playfully without a care in the world.

"Quit it, un!" Deidara said harshly, whacking Tobi's orange head with a blonde paw. "All of this is your fault anyways! Why did you have to press that damn button, un?"

Tobi scampered away to hide behind Zetsu's black and white form. "Senpai is being mean!" His orange head poked out to face Deidara from behind Zetsu. "Tobi was just curious! He didn't know the button would turn them into kittens in a strange place!"

"If only I had my clay…" Deidara growled, glaring at Tobi with narrowed blue eyes.

"Regardless of whose fault it is, the more pressing matter is our location," Itachi said dully, directing the attention away from the bickering kittens to the more important issues of those occupying the box. "Where are we?"

Hidan growled and his tail bristled with annoyance. "We can't see out of the damn box to know, Uchiha!"

Itachi rolled his blood-red eyes. "This is true, Hidan, but I can't sense any chakra signatures and I've personally never heard the sounds surrounding us before." He paused as a loud honking droned in the distance. "That button could have sent us anywhere."

"It's safe to say we aren't anywhere familiar," Kakuzu replied, cutting off Hidan before he could argue further with Itachi. "I don't sense any one another than us so I think we might be alone."

"From what I saw while we were being put into the box by that old man, we are in an entirely different world," Sasori said. "But how we ended up as cats, I'm not entirely sure."

"What if someone else takes us in?" Zetsu asked.

Kakuzu looked at him, heading cocking to the side. "We'll have to gain their trust long enough to find a way home."

"Fuck that," Hidan replied sharply. "Why rely on some asshole we don't know?"

"I don't like it either Hidan, but it is necessary if we want to survive in our now vulnerable forms in this new world. We can't exactly fend for ourselves as kittens," Kakuzu said. "I don't know about you, but I don't have experience fighting people when I'm less than a foot tall with tiny claws and teeth instead of kunai and shuriken. We are helpless in these forms."

Konan made to comment but frowned as a strange noise that was steadily growing louder caught her attention. "Do you guys hear that?"

"Tobi hears scary loud noises," Tobi said.

Konan shook her blue head. "No, it sounds like footsteps. It's getting closer."

All of the Akatsuki focused, their ears turning towards the approaching sound until it was right beside them. They looked up in unison to see they were no longer alone.

A young girl poked her head into view as she peered into the box and her curious frown disappeared as she sighed and shook her head.

She was decently tall, probably only an inch shorter than Itachi and Hidan's human forms. Her shoulders were broader than was normal for a woman, but it fit her stocky, muscular build.

"Cats," she said. Her voice was monotonous, laced with a hint of cynicism. "To be honest, I'm a dog person. You cats aren't exactly my cup of tea. Turn into puppies and you've got my full attention."

The girl's hair was long, almost to her waist, and it while it was a deep, dark brown it was rather dull and bland. There were hints of gray at the roots but they were only visible when she knelt down to get closer to the box they were packed in.

Her expression was jaded as she knelt beside them but her bicolored eyes scanned over them with clinical interest. Her right, blue eye was closed a little more than her left, green eye, and she seemed to tilt her head further to the left as if she was trying look primarily from her left side.

"Oi! You stupid bitch!" Hidan ran towards where the girl was kneeling, and he attempted to scale the side of the box. "Fucking get us out of here!"

The girl cocked her head to the side and laughed lightly. "Good luck with that, little kitty." She reached into the box and scratched behind one of Hidan's ears gently before she straightened up.

"She's leaving, un!" Deidara said loudly. The rest of the Akatsuki meowed with him to try and get the girl's attention before she abandoned them to living in a box.

She paused before stepping away and looked back into the box, a scowl on her face. "Look, kitties, I like cats, but I don't want any. You picked the wrong condo to be put in front of."

"What the fuck is a condo?" Kakuzu asked.

"Hell if I know," Sasori replied while looking up at the girl with the rest of the Akatsuki.

"Look cute!" Konan said. "She might help us if she thinks we're cute!"

Deidara, Kisame, Tobi, and Hidan whipped out the big guns by trying to look pathetic and powerless in hopes that she would be convinced to help them.

She pouted at their faces. "No, I must resist my caring instinct! Don't look into their eyes, me! Don't do it!" Her eyes suddenly widened when she peeked into the box. "Oh look! A blue kitty! Now you're talking!"

She reached into the box and fished out Kisame. She held him up as she looked over him and she smiled before holding him to her chest so she could hug him gently.

"Of fucking course she picks out Fish-face because he's fucking blue," Hidan said.

"Bite me, Hidan," Kisame replied. "You're just pissed because she already likes me more than you."

"The hell I am!" Hidan hissed angrily at Kisame, his tail flicking back and forth in annoyance.

"You're adorable," she said. She glanced back over the kittens as she returned Kisame to the box and awed when she located Konan "Awe, there's another one."

"I never thought I'd see the day where you'd be hugged by someone, Kisame. Let alone a girl, un," Deidara said, smirking.

Kisame frowned at him. "I'm sure I get more attention from girls than you do, brat, considering everyone thinks you're a girl already."

"Ouch," Sasori said, chuckling while Deidara puffed up defensively. "Nice one, Kisame."

"The girl's moving again," Pein said, bringing his subordinates back to the issue at hand.

Tobi moved forward with a soft, pitiful meow, and nuzzled the girl's hand with his nose and then his entire head followed.

Her head drooped and she sighed in defeat.

"Okay fine. You win. Give me a minute. I need to let the guys know." She stroked Konan's fur gently before standing up fully and digging around in her pocket. After a second, she fished out a key and disappeared from view. They listened patiently as she unlocked the door and pushed it open. "Lulu, Bee, will you come to the front door and give me a hand?"

"Wait. There are more of them?" Zetsu asked.

Sasori sighed when he heard a squeal of excitement. "Damn it."


Ah, I've been wanting to rewatch/reread all of Naruto/Shippuden again.

Fun Fact: Dani is 20 years old and a junior at the University of Cincinnati. (I went to The Ohio State University for my freshman and sophomore years)

Answer: I read both the manga and watch the anime. I am caught up with both as I read and watch it religiously. It's how I pass the days, to be honest. Because with work, school, and just generally being a piece of shit, I only keep up with the days of the week through the releases of episodes for my shows.

QotC: Favorite anime? I know there has been an influx of awesome anime these past few years. So? Seen any amazing ones that have become your favorites? Give me your top three if you can't pick just one.

So I just finished cleaning my room like an hour before posting this. It took me forever because Zelda and Bo insisted on helping me by attacking the vacuum, rooting through my laundry, and lying in the middle of the floor so I'd trip over them.

The adorable little bastards.

Whatever. I'm outtie.

Toodles, my dears.