Before I start, I'd like to thank RandomButLoved for finding the time to Beta my story. And make it a lot more awesome
"Elllssaaa!" I heard Anna's voice call from down the hall. I sigh as a smile creeps onto my face. I turn around to watch as Anna comes skipping into my room and stops at the door way; looking at me with giddy eyes that have never faded since we were children, something that I couldn't fully experience with her. She hangs onto the edge of the door and swings as she says: "I'm so bored!" I smile warmly, fully turning away from my bag.
"Congratulations." I say playfully, smirking as I roll my eyes.
"No!" Anna whines, although it is far too child like to be angry at all. "No "congratulations"! I need something to do!" She finally ceases with hanging dangerously far off of the door, and I would be concerned that the door-frame would snap; but it isn't like Anna is all that fat, right? With another sigh, quieter this time, I meet her gaze fully.
"Anna... I'd love to play with you ,or whatever you wish to call it, but I'm busy right now."
Anna cocks her head and raises an eyebrow, skeptically wondering what I mean without uttering a word. I gesture to the suitcase and clothes gathered on my bed. "I'm packing!" For a moment she looks confused, then it hits her, causing her to laugh greatly as she finally steps into the room.
"Oh yea! I totally forgot you were going to the mountains for the week!" Anna giggles. "Why are you going again?"
"My advisers think... they think that it'll be a good chance to clear my head and just relax. Get some of this... stress out of my system."
Anna nods gravely. She tries to hide the concern and sorrow but I can still sense it. Why would my sister feel this way at my words? Well, I'll tell you. As you can guess, being a Queen is pretty hard. You've got responsibilities and all those people looking up to you. It's frightening to know that even the smallest little decision I make could change my kingdom. It's a lot of hard work.
And lately, I've realized I'm not the best person qualified to do it. I feel awful, since I was born a royal. The Gods should have known I'd never fit into this role, especially not with my ice powers. Sometimes I think that I was just put on this earth for a cheap laugh. Like the only reason that I am alive is to be a joke. The girl who never wins. The girl who is a failure. And I will take that feeling to my grave. Because I know all to well it's true.
Who doubts it?
I'm pretty sure the rest of Arendelle knows that to, and I wouldn't blame them. And they don't need to see the scars on my arms for proof. My advisers noticed how down I've seemed lately. And yet, Anna was really the only one who really cared. We both knew she knew what's going on. What I am doing in my room when it's dark. She's been trying to cheer my up lately but it's not really working. Every time I see her I keep thinking I'll do something crazy and hurt her.
Again. I've already nearly killed her twice. A third time would push me over the edge.
"Are you sure I can't come with you?" Anna, a hopeful smile creasing her tanned features as she begs to the Gods that, after the millionth time as querying the same question over and over again, that she will finally break through the barrier of ice around my heart; physically and metaphorically, I suppose. I laugh lightly, although we both know that it is forced.
"Anna, I told you, my advisers think I should spend my time alone. I'd love to have some quality time with you, though."
"Well I hope your va-ca actually does what it's supposed to." Anna comments. I nod, though I don't have the strength to say anything in particular. Anna runs over to me and hugs me tightly. I smile and return the embrace. I can't help but think this will be probably the last time I'll get to spend time with her. You see, when I agreed to go on this little journey to the mountains, I never exactly planned on coming back.
I'm sure no one would really mind, though. People would probably miss having a ruler, but they'd get over my death eventually. The one person I can think of who would never get over it is the one hugging me. I feel guilty, of course, for planning this; more than anyone could ever know when it comes to having this feeling housed inside of you since birth.
But I feel like it'll do everyone some good, no matter what it does to me.
And yet, all too soon it is over. Anna pulls away from the hug and excuses herself for something. Princessly duties, I'm sure, since I barely hear her over the torrent raging in my heart and mind. I hold on to my sanity for as long as I can, although I can never keep it for long. I stare at the doorway for far too long, begging that she didn't have to leave; even if now we'll never see each other again...