AN: Hi y'all, this is a short one-shot that's been bugging me forever to get down on paper. It will probably just stay a one-shot, I don't have anything else written to add to it yet and I'm not anticipating having anything soon.

AN: Yes, I've changed my penname, I was HisGodGivenSolace now I am Creed757. I've also removed many of my stories, the only one up now is Walker Island.

Not Beta'd all mistakes are mine.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii 5-0 or any other recognizable person, place, thing.

Please review and let me know what you think.

I sat across from him in our kitchen, clutching my favorite mug which was currently filled with quickly cooling peppermint tea as opposed to my usual black coffee. I was in an ratty pair of Navy sweat pants and t-shirt that I had stolen from him years ago. My heart was breaking and I couldn't find comfort in him so I comforted myself with his clothing.

"You know, I thought I could do it, I thought I could be strong for the baby and just stick it out; forget about it and move on, but every time I look at you I see her. Her…hands all over you, and I wonder if she left scratches down your back like I do, if she nipped at your neck like I do. Did she moan or was she a screamer? If she knows about the sweet spot behind your ear that drives you crazy; can she map out every dip and curve of your body? Did her fingertips ghost over your sides, tickling as they did? Every time I try to close my eyes I can see the two of you grinding together, moaning in pleasure that she's giving you. I just can't pretend that everything is okay anymore. Nothing's okay. I'm not, we're not. You know, through all this I told myself that we couldn't be that couple, the one that's separated longer than their entire relationship lasted. I'm no actress, and I'm not fooling anyone." I took a deep breath before continuing, not looking at him across from me.

"Something I just don't understand is that you keep saying, over and over again how it was just a mistake. It didn't mean anything, you say. But how could you throw all of us away for something that didn't mean anything? Are we that worthless to you? That'd you'd be willing to let it all go just to get your rocks off. Am I that inconsequential to you, is our baby that inconsequential? I always promised myself that I'd be strong enough to walk away from a cheating husband, but I don't know if I am, because despite what you've done to us, I am so in love with you. I ache to hold you again. I miss you. I miss us. I miss all of the possibilities" I take a deep shuddering breath, clenching my hands tightly together. Looking at my wedding rings I squeeze my eyes shut before opening them and looking directly into his stormy grey eyes. Eyes that I've lost myself in time and time again in the three years I've known this man. Eyes that used to be so guarded and haunted when I first met him are now an open window inviting me into the deepest recesses of his soul.

"I am so madly, deeply, truly, in love with you. I made the biggest mistake of my life that night. I can't excuse it." He reached for my hand and hesitated, giving me a searching look. With my heart in my throat I took his hand and squeezed. He gave me his shy smile, the one that made his eyes crinkle and showed his dimple. My smile, my wedding ring on his finger, my husband. Mine. Not hers. "I just want to know why you did it." I was proud of myself for not losing it, my stomach was turning, and I put my free hand against the barely noticeable baby bump, just feeling the baby that our love created.

He got up from his seat across from me at the table and moved to kneel beside me; he gently turned my chair to face him. "May I?" he motioned to my bump. Chocking back a sob I nodded, his hand joined mine as we cradled our growing child.

"Will it change anything?" he asked, not looking up from where he was caressing my stomach.

"I need to know" and I did, as much as it would kill me, I needed to know why he slept with her when he had a wife waiting for him at home.

"We were fighting that day over some stupid risk I took at work; you said you were tired of patching me up every night or seeing new scars on my body. I stormed out of the house and you told me not to bother coming to bed that night. By the time I got to the office I was furious." He gave me a rueful smirk before continuing "I was so mad at you and at myself. Then we caught the Johnson case, the mother killed the three kids" he paused and leaned his head against my stomach. "Lieutenant Johnson was a wreck when we contacted him. All I could see was those kids, I tried calling you and calling you and you didn't pick up." His voice was thick with unshed tears. "You're blaming me?" I was not responsible for his bad choices.

"No, No! I know this is my entire fault; I should've just come home. But I went to the bar, and I drank way more than I should have. Then she was there and I hadn't seen her in years, you've got to believe me. We were just catching up, she asked what was new. I told her, I told her about the fight, about the case and…" he trailed off. It is devastating to hear that he went to her with our problems. "and?" I prompted him, I need to hear the entire story if we are going to move on from this, either together or apart I need to know.

"And I went back to her hotel room, and we had sex, that's all it was, sex. There were no feelings on my part; I just needed some distraction from the hell that I was going through that day. I couldn't shut my brain off. I regretted it as soon as it was over. I know it'll be hard to forget, to forgive me but baby, I love you. I've never loved her, I never claimed to love her, ever." And I know he didn't. Before we met he was an unemotional robot, going to the motions of life, doing his job, sleeping with her whenever he needed a physical release. And then we met, and he was still an unemotional robot but instead of turning to her, he turned to me and then he started showing up with dinner and we'd talk before we went to bed. And eventually he came and never left.

"You may not have loved her, but she loves you" I pushed him away gently and got up from the chair, moving to the stove to refill my mug with hot water. I grabbed a peppermint tea bag from the cabinet, the only thing that helped my nausea.

He got up from his position kneeling on the floor and joined me by the sink. "I don't care about her, the only thing that matters to me is our family, you, me and our baby." He took my mug and moved it to the counter behind me before he cupped my face in his hands. I sighed and leaned against his hand.

"Forgive me baby" he kissed my cheek. "Please forgive me" the other cheek. "I love you" my nose. "You make me the best I've ever been" my forehead. "I am me when I am with you" his eyes bore into mine before he kissed me. Hard. I gasped into the kiss, he tilted my head back to deepen the kiss and pressed closer, I took a step back bumping into the counter as I did, breaking the kiss. He leaned his forehead against mine as we both panted for breath.

Not moving from his current position he whispered "Please baby, let me come home."

"I love you Steve, but I don't know if I can ever trust you again." I moved away from him walking towards the front door, I opened it and waited with bated breath as he walked towards me, his ever present combat boots thudding on the tile. He stopped in front of me, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times-as if he didn't know what to say. With a shaky hand I removed my wedding rings from my finger and took his hand, curling it around the rings. He stared at me, I looked down.

He kissed my head again before pulling me into a hug, I stiffened immediately and he hugged me harder before I wrapped my arms around him again. I burrowed into his chest, inhaling the scent that's slightly salt water, sweat, and Steve.

"It would be so easy to say yes, I forgive you, and pretend everything was okay. But I can't. You cheated on me Steve. You will always be the baby's father, but I'm contacting a lawyer tomorrow." I took a deep breath before I said the words that would shatter us.

"I want a divorce."

AN: Dun, Dun! Please Review! Steve's wife is an OC that I've purposefully left unnamed. As it says in the beginning AN, I'm not anticipating adding more chapters but who knows. Put this on alert if you wish.