Thank you, FabulousJoJo, for suggesting so many Pokémon Mystery Dungeon ships. They are lovely, well thought-out, and all entirely plausible, meant not to torture me, but to inspire me.
This will be my dump for any and all Pokémon Mystery Dungeon shippings that make little to no sense. Additionally, if you enjoy seeing me suffer, feel free to suggest more ridiculous ships.
As these do not make any sense, they may not yet have shipping names. The most fabulous reviewers (that means everyone) are allowed to suggest ship names. These names can make sense, be witty, or be confusing as heck and unrelated to anything. Be my guest.
A gentle breeze caressed the ground as it swooped by in the hush of the night. Militantly stood Diglett beneath the guild's grate, bathed by the milky moonlight seeping between the bars. Even now, while everyone else slept, he would not allow himself to move from his spot or close his eyes for a moment's rest. If his job was to watch for the shadow of footprints above, he could not afford to do so little as turn his head away.
"Diglett? Why are you still awake?"
Diglett kept his eyes upon the grate, though the warm voice was enough to melt his heart.
"Guildmaster Wigglytuff, I am on guard," he spoke rigidly. "It's my duty to watch it, and identify any footprints. Suppose someone arrived in the night? I need to remain here to ensure that no criminals will enter."
The melodic laughter of his Guildmaster reached his ears and he felt his face heat like the interior of a torkoal. He sensed the Pokémon walking over to him and coming within the distance of a single, calculated step.
"Silly friend! It's the middle of the night, and the gate is down! No Pokémon can get in anymore!"
The warmth trickled through Diglett's entire body like a rivulet of water. Giving the grate one final, lasting gaze, he closed his eyes and turned about to face the rose-coloured Pokémon.
"I'm sorry, Guildmaster," he whispered, "I should have known better. I am unfit to be a sentry for this guild!"
Diglett could feel Wigglytuff's stare boring into his skull and tears gathered behind his eyelids like water pushing up against a dam. Any moment now would be shattered by Wigglytuff's voice telling him to leave and never return, or that he was ashamed of him.
"What for, silly?" Wigglytuff spoke as if Diglett had done nothing more than blink at him, with the cheerfulness of a small child. "You're a great sentry, especially if you're trying to stay up at night to guard the guild! I suggest you get some sleep, though, so you'll be well-rested for tomorrow!"
A single tear crept out from behind Diglett's lids and it snaked down his face. Forcefully, he opened his eyes to gaze up at his Guildmaster. The mere sight of him set butterfrees loose in his stomach and he felt as though he could lift off from the ground. Wigglytuff smiled down at him, like a warm ray of sunlight, then turned and began to walk away, put distance between them again.
"Wait, Guildmaster!" The words burst from Diglett's mouth like a caged skitty. "There is something I must say, before you go!"
For a moment, Wigglytuff paused, as if considering whether or not to listen. But he turned his head back to Diglett, the smile lifting the corners of his mouth again. Diglett's heart leapt up and pounded madly against his chest, but his words could no longer remain trapped.
"Guildmaster, I...I love you! I love you with all of my being!"
There registered no shock on Wigglytuff's face; not a single facial feature moved. So did that mean that he did not care for Diglett as Diglett did him? Or did it mean that he had already anticipated this claim? And that he, too, loved Diglett?
"Diglett..." Wigglytuff whispered sweetly. "I love all of the guild members! You should know that!"
"But...what about me?" Diglett's voice caught in his throat, and he turned away. "No, I never should have admitted my true feelings! I have only made myself into more of a fool!"
While his eyes were closed, and he desperately willed his tears not to come, a paw was laid upon his head. He dared to open an eye, then the other. It was Wigglytuff, who looked at him with more adoration than Diglett could ever muster.
"Yup, you, too!" Wigglytuff giggled again and it rang through like a melody. "You're one of the guild members, aren't you? So that means I love you, too!"
Diglett's heart began to fill with emotion and grew until he could hear in pounding in his mind. "W-Wigglytuff..."
Wigglytuff opened his mouth in a delicate yawn and he began to hop away, appearing almost to glide across the ground. "Well, good night, Diglett! Sleep well, okay?"
"I promise," Diglett replied, feeling tears slide down his cheeks. The only wish he had in life had been fulfilled. Wigglytuff returned his everlasting emotions. The thought lay in his mind and, giving one last look up to the grate who had enabled and allowed such a miracle to happen, also lay down to rest.
If that didn't make sense, just remember – if you give crap, you get crap.
Remember to leave ship suggestions and suggestions for ship names!