By Mathieu Leader
Doctor Who is owned by the BBC
"What am I I'm I Captain Grumpy, is that my name I think I hear people hearing me call me fleshy mug that," beamed the Doctor taking a look at his newfound form in the mirror.
The Doctor had finished regenerating seeing his thin narrow face with sticky out ears "I guess I've changed but I have no recollection of what came before but it's bad..." The Doctor replied shocked
He quickly grabbed a black bowler hat from the umbrella stand and the red question mark shaped umbrella and had a black leather jacket.
He blink and saw a great orange planet implode and the Doctor screamed loudly and hyperventilated as he quickly ran over to the controls "Must confess for my crimes but where?!" he sobbed.
The TARDIS whooshed into the Time Vortex the TARDIS materialised outside a tall glass cathedral on a cobblestone street.
The Doctor stared as black rainclouds came as rainfall began as he entered the wooden gothic corridor a white bulbous headed alien grumbled grimly "Our Heavenly Representative the Papal Mainframe is ready to see you,"
The Doctor sided away into a room with wooden pews as an organ began to play an overture.
A tanned brunette came in with a red shawl "Hello how might I help you today?" the woman questioned sincerely
"I'm John Smithson I'm a solider without a home," The Doctor answered tersely
"I'm Tasha Lem the fourteenth Papal Mainframe I understand you're in need of a confession," she spoke coolly
"I THINK I INITATED THE GENOCIDE OF PEOPLE!" shrieked the Doctor
"Calm down you obviously been through a lot," Tasha replied in a relaxed tone
"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN I BECAME INHUMAN MY MOTHER WOULD BE ASHAMED! I LET MY HUMAN SIDE DOWN I HATE STUPIDITY I BECAME NO BETTER THAN A STUPID SAVAGE APE!" shouted the Doctor his face reddened strewn with tears.
"John, you were named after a good man, we share something in common my father's race went away you see like you I have alien in me its Eternal and I shall bring the concepts of compassion in the aftermath of the war."
"Good for you but what of me what should I do," The doctor cried in desperation
"Grief is difficult but your already a doctor so you don't need to see a doctor about your malaise, but change comes from within," Tasha replied cheerily after a pause
For the first time in the Doctors life he cracked a smile and laughed loudly
"I will return somebody your fantastic a great word I will use it more often," the Doctor cheerily chatted as he waved his hand.
He went back inside the TARDIS and placed the question mark shaped umbrella in the stand as well as the hat
"Gosh I was flippin' stupid, I'm not human I must be me muddled nature due to my regenerative fatigue." The Doctor laughed loudly
"Physician heal thy self." the Doctor whispered suddenly he fell and slept deeply.
This one-shot came about from Tasha Lem's comment that she met the Doctor before but under what context and I thought that a distressed newly regenerated nine would be ideal,
Also the Ninth Doctor imitates his eighth self by quoting his farewell line from the special Night of the Doctor, and his statement of being half-human like eight was in the aftermath of his regeneration.
People speculated when the character of Tasha Lem was announced that somehow a refugee time lord or a reincarnation of Romana, but I remember in the 2006 Doctor Who annual and in the episode Doomsday that the Eternals. A race of jealous earthbound demigod aliens primarily featured in the Fifth Doctor serial Enlightenment. I thought that this would fit in with her office and religious feel.
Also I think the Ninth Doctor suits a bowler hat
The Doctor thinking he's called Captain Grumpy is based on what his previous incarnations called the War Doctor.