10A/N: A wishful crossover what-if scenario that wouldn't get out of my head. This involves the 9th Doctor immediately post-regeneration and takes place after the events of "Investment Counselor" in the enderverse, but you don't have to be familiar with that story to get into this. Each chapter will alternate between present and past in Ender's timeline, so don't get confused!
Apologies for any OOCness; I'm still pretty new at writing for these fandoms...
Come, O thou Traveler unknown,
Whom still I hold, but cannot see;
My company before is gone,
And I am left alone with thee.
I need not tell thee who I am,
My misery and sin declare;
Thyself hast called me by my name,
Look on thy hands, and read it there.
But who, I ask thee, who art thou?
Tell me thy name, and tell me now.
—Charles Wesley
-:-
1 – Till I Thy Name, Thy Nature Know
"We are not keeping it," said Andrew.
"Quit being an insufferable prick and help," gritted Valentine, wobbling slightly from the effort of holding up the six-foot half-conscious man in her arms.
After some stepped-on toes and cursing and awkward shifting of weight, they eventually managed to get "It" through the apartment doorway and onto the couch. The stranger crumpled over on his side and curled up in a tight ball, mumbling incoherent phrases under his breath, eyes tightly closed. He seemed either feverish or intoxicated. Or both. Andrew wasn't sure which would be more inconvenient right now.
He turned to his sister, expressionless. "Dare I ask?"
"I think he might be dying," said Valentine. "I don't know. Something's wrong with him, and you're the only person I know who can figure out what to do."
"I'm a speaker, not a doctor. But there are these wonderfully convenient things called 'hospitals'; perhaps you've heard of them."
"I can't take him there. He wouldn't be safe."
"Why not?"
"Because he's…" She stopped herself and closed her eyes. "This isn't a joke, and I didn't hallucinate or—"
"Just tell me," sighed Andrew.
Valentine reached for him, hesitated, and he gave her a small nod to let her know she could.
She gripped his arms. Andrew felt a shiver go through her. Her eyes were bright, exhilarated, fearful. "I don't think he's human," she whispered.
He stared at her for a long moment, mind spinning. That had not been the story he'd been expecting.
"You don't think he's 'human'," he repeated quietly. "By which you mean…?"
Valentine nodded.
Andrew took a deep breath. "Tell me what happened. Every detail."
She described to him how the man stumbled dazed out into the street and bumped into her. How he collapsed to the ground, shaking and clinging to her; and she saw wisps of soft fire rising from his fingers, spilling from his open mouth. "He was shimmering. When I looked at his hands, I could see light swimming through his veins. I tried to ask him what was wrong, what his name was, but it was like he couldn't speak. Or couldn't remember how to speak."
"And how does this make him alien? How do we know he's not simply a human with some disease or drug we don't know about?"
"I'm not finished." Valentine glanced at their muttering guest on the couch. Again, her voice dropped to a whisper. "While I was trying to talk to him, he reached up and pressed his hands to my temples – and I could hear him. I could see things. In my head." Like you can with Her, said the implication hanging in the air.
A chill went up his spine. "What did he say?"
"It was hard to make out anything; there was so much clamor and confusion. It felt like a crowd of thoughts rushing to scramble over a wall. The only words I understood were, 'They're gone'. I saw a red planet, and a burst of light, and there was fire and blood and anguish. So much anguish." The memory of it clouded her eyes. "It felt like a war, Ender."
"Valentine," he said, heartbeat quickening, "I need you to think back, very carefully. Before you saw him, did you hear any unusual sounds?"
"I don't know, the street was busy. All the sounds I heard blended into each other."
"Did you see anything around you that looked…out of place? An odd object or color? Anything anachronistic?"
Valentine thought for a second, then shook her head. "I thought I saw something bright blue out of the corner of my eye when we started walking, but other than that, I can't think of anything. Why?"
Ender didn't answer. He walked over to the trembling man and crouched down, reached out to touch his hand – slowly, gently, as if soothing a frightened animal. The man was chanting to himself now, forehead creased in agitation, gray-blue eyes staring into nothingness. "Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus lives among the dead…"
"Do you know me?" asked Ender softly.
"Zagreus waits at the end of the world, for Zagreus is the end of the world." The man choked on the last syllable, tears filling his eyes.
"Doctor," Ender whispered. "Is that you?"
"No," the man whispered back. "Not anymore."
And then he fell asleep.
Song inspiration:
"Come O Thou Traveler Unknown" - written by Charles Wesley in 1742. (The tune is Scottish.)
"The Doctor's Theme" - Murray Gold
A/N: The lines the Doctor is chanting come from an old Gallifreyan nursery rhyme, called "Zagreus" (which we are introduced to in one of the 8th Doctor's Big Finish audiodramas, also called "Zagreus"). I decided to throw in references to it not only because of its significant to the Doctor, but also because those particular lines eerily reminded me of Ender. Or at least, how Ender sees himself. (Yeah, this fic's gonna be full of angsty Ender/Doctor parallels. I regret nothing.)
The titles for each part/chapter are taken from other stanzas of the "Traveler" hymn. Because that hymn is frickin gorgeous and I love it and I want to pretend I'm artsy and profound and stuff. Shush.