Author's Note: Hey everyone, just so you know, I am almost done with the second chapter of my Liley series, this was just something I had in my mind that I had to write out. This is really on the personal side. I was Miley sitting in the corner of my room last weekend crying about things in my life. Everything in this story actually happened to me except for finding a true friend part. Still haven't found that but I still hope I will. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Hannah Montana or any of the characters
They say when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well I have tried plenty of times. Whenever life would throw me lemons, I always managed to make lemonade but when I did, life would throw me more lemons. Life never has a habit of going my way. Sometimes I just curl up in the corner of the room crying because it becomes too overwhelming for me to face.
My name is Miley Stewart and this is my story.
Growing up I was very happy. I had two parents that loved me, even though they were divorced. They divorced a year after I was born so I don't remember anything from the divorce. I just know they stopped getting along as a married couple but they are best friends now. That fact alone has helped me get through these last few years where my life was a rollercoaster.
I had a lot of friends in elementary school. We had parties together, we hung out together all the time. I even had a best friend but we'll get to her later. This went on until the end of fourth grade when my life started turning upside down. My dear grandmother passed away. She was my main best friend. She lived with my mom and me so she pretty much helped raise me. I told her everything and trusted her with every problem I was having. She would even sit there and listen to me talk about my guy best friend that I had known since kindergarten. Travis. I could say his name all day. I pretty much did. I had a little puppy crush on him at the time but I will get to that later too.
Right now I will focus on everything that happened right after she died. After she died I pretty much had no one to go to. My dad was on a business trip in Europe and I couldn't call him as much as I would have liked. My mom met a guy named Ray. They started dating. This really affected me. I know what people are thinking. They are thinking that I was jealous of him taking time away from my mom but that is far from the truth. This man was a jerk and when I say jerk I mean bully at the playground jerk. He wouldn't speak to me when they first started dating. He would just come over and was just kind of there. My mom fell hard for him. She thought he was the greatest man on earth while everyone else saw right through him. She still raved about him. I would try to talk to him but he would just grunt or turn the volume up on the tv. That was what they did on their dates. He would come over and watch TV with my mom.
I had to call him Mr. Sharp. I couldn't call him Ray because he said I had no reason to call him by his first name. I remember going camping with him and my mom once. He sat there and only talked to my mom. He pretended like I wasn't even there and I felt so lonely. My best friend at the time hated camping so she wouldn't go with me. I loved camping and going to Florida for vacations until he came along. Once when they were dating, he just showed up in Florida to surprise my mom. Then he asked her if they could go out to dinner, just the two of them and leave me in the hotel. She agreed and heated me up a frozen pizza for dinner. The next time, he brought is nine year old daughter who would punch me and kick me for fun. No one ever got her in trouble for that. We had to do whatever he wanted. If I wanted to do something, too bad. His idea of fun on vacation is hiking ten miles. Then he would lay on the beach for twelve hours a day then walk inside crying, not understanding why he got a sunburn. It was so much drama and so much treating me like the third wheel that made me decide to quit going when I was sixteen.
When I was eleven my guy best friend, Travis, tried out for the football team. I supported him and told him that he should do it. When we were in kindergarten he made me promise him that if I became a singer and he became a world famous football player, I would let him throw a football across the stage. He looked at me and asked him if I would still let him. I just smiled and nodded. I knew he would be something someday. Little did I know, by supporting him going into the football team, I would be throwing away the friendship. Shortly after he became a football player, he joined the popular crowd. Now you see, I was kind of a dork so in order to please the popular crowd, he stopped speaking to me.
I even had a teacher bully me in fifth grade. I would be sitting reading a book and she would grab me and pull me up by the arm and push me toward a group of girls and tell me to talk with them. That was pretty awkward because these girls were in their own conversation, they didn't want me to intervene. This same teacher gave me recess detention for asking to go to the bathroom but on my way back from the bathroom I got a drink from the water fountain outside the classroom. I got detention for not following directions. She also gave me detention for telling her this girl wouldn't stop kicking me when she was out of the room.
Then I had a friend whom I had known since kindergarten. Our school was going on a field trip to the bowling alley. I got into a group with her and a couple of her friends. She told me that she didn't want me in her group and that I should join another one. I told the teacher who did put me in another group but it still hurt because I did trust her.
If that wasn't bad enough, I was also having issues with my best friend. After my grandmother died I told her. She didn't talk to me for months after she found out. I didn't really get back in touch with her until seventh grade. Seventh grade was the same year my mom and Ray got married. By this time I was used to being called stupid or just another man's daughter by him. He never liked me because I was another man's daughter. Whenever I asked him if I could call him Ray, his response was, "That comes with responsibilities." I tried to confide in my best friend, Maria, the one I was talking about earlier but all she said was, "As long as your mom is happy, that's all that matters." I started thinking about my happiness. Because of my stepdad telling me I was fat I made myself throw up once. It was just once though, I hated how I felt afterwards. Maria and I were having sleepovers where I would break down crying about my stepdad but she would just sit there and stare at me while I cried. She never hugged, comforted me, or even acted like she cared. She was never there when I needed her but I was always there when she needed me.
This same year in seventh grade, I had to have major surgery. I had a cyst that caused me terrible pain. It lasted for about a month to the point where my mom got me up to get ready for school and I couldn't get up. The pain was too much so she took me to the hospital. I had to have tons of tests and had people poking me with stuff. It was either an IV or something that had medicine in it that made me sick. I found out something that day that changed my life forever. I only had a 50/50 percent chance of living. The cyst could burst on its own or I could run into something and it would give me internal bleeding. I had mixed feeling about this. On one hand, I would get away from my stepdad and I would go to Heaven and be happy, but on the other hand, I was only thirteen. My mom made me stay home from school for the two weeks before the surgery. I had the surgery and all went well. My best friend, Maria never called to check on me and never even visited me so I decided I was pretty much done with that friendship. I stayed home for the next few months and only really was able to attend the last few weeks of school. Oh and the whole time my mom was at the hospital with me, my stepdad was mad because she wasn't home with him.
Then, eighth grade happened, Eighth grade was absolute hell. I blocked out most of what happened because the pain was too much. I lost many of my friends because of nasty rumors spread about me. I don't even remember what they were. The only ones I remember was that I never went out and that I was a loner. There were boys who used to walk into school and spray me with water guns or they would grab my backpack and push me into walls. I remember at one point one of the eighth graders asked me about the scar on my side in the girls' locker room. I told them about my cyst and their response was that I should have died. In the school cafeteria, we had assigned seats. You could only sit with your class in the lunchroom, if you sat with another class you got three hours after school detention. Well I sat with these group of girls who seemed friendly at first. They didn't really talk to me but they didn't tell me I couldn't sit with them either. None of my friends were in my class so I had no choice. They never pulled me into a conversation but I was really shy to begin with. The only class I really had with my friends was my chorus class. Some of my best friends were in that class and I was happiest there. They were at my lunch too but since they weren't in my history class, I couldn't sit with them.
This went on for a while until one day the unthinkable happened. They looked at me and decided they didn't want me sitting with them anymore. They told me not to sit with them and to sit someplace else. I tried to go to every table my class was sitting at and ask if I could sit with them and everyone said no. So I took my lunch and ate at the last table no one was sitting at. I sat there for one day and by the end people had thrown food all over me. I found a few tater tots in my hair and had ketchup on me. The next day that lasted for five minutes until I finally got my lunch and ate in the stall in the girls' bathroom. Every day I had to do this. I couldn't escape my bullies in the hallway or the one in my English class who would always laugh and make fun of me in front of the whole class when I walked in but I could at least try to get some peace during lunch. I never told anyone about any of this from fear of just getting bullied worse. Towards the end of the year though, I was forced to tell. This other eighth grader walked into the bathroom during lunch and saw my lunchbox on the floor of the stall. She peeked into the little crack to see what I was doing in there. I know, creepy but that's what she did. She went and told her teacher who came in and knocked on the door. I came out and the teacher started reprimanding me for eating in the bathroom and dragged me into the principal's office.
This just started more drama. I tried to call my mom to tell her everything that happened but the secretary heard me and yanked the phone out of my hand while I was crying on the phone with my mom and slammed the phone back down. She yelled at me for trying to call my mom and grabbed me by the arm and pushed me toward the closed door of the principal's office. My mom was at work and was so scared that something happened to me that she drove right to the school and walked into the office. At this point I was talking to the principal. I had told no one the extent to how badly I had been bullied until now. My mom didn't even know. The principal called my mom into the office with me. She was telling me that I could get in school suspension for eating in the girls' bathroom instead of the lunchroom. I broke down crying. I had never been in trouble before so I decided to tell them both everything that happened. Once I did the principal told me I wouldn't be suspended but I couldn't eat in the bathroom anymore. My mom asked if I could sit with my friends in the lunchroom even though they weren't in my class. The principal said no because if she made an exception for me then she would have to make one for everyone. She told me that I could eat in the counselor's office. I also told the principal what the secretary did to me and she said she would investigate. She sent me home for the day so that I could rest.
The next day I went back into the principal's office because she had talked to the bullies and to the secretary and of course, all of them said they didn't do anything. She knew I was telling the truth but she refused to do anything to stop the bullies. I sat in the counselor's office during lunch. Unfortunately it was in front of a window where a bunch of the bullies from the lunchroom would gather, point at me, and laugh. I eventually told the counselor who was more understanding that the principal. She put me in the meeting room where no one could see me. I was all alone in this room for lunch, for the rest of the year. I had no one. My ex best friend Maria and I weren't speaking. She wouldn't have been there for me anyway. My other best friend Travis no longer spoke to me because he was popular and I wasn't. I went home one day during the last week of school and decided I had had enough. I grabbed a bunch of pain pills and was going to kill myself. I was going to go to Heaven where I was loved and protected. I poured the pills into my hand and put them in my mouth. I just felt the taste in my mouth for a minute until I glanced at the family picture from when I was younger. My mom and dad almost died when they found out I probably wouldn't live through my cyst and they were overjoyed when they found out I would live. I thought of my cousin and how much it would kill her if something happened to me. My great aunt and great uncle, my grandmother's sister and brother in law, would have been devastated. I ran into my bathroom and spit the pills out into the toilet and flushed the toilet. My stepdad may have hated me, the bullies in school may have wanted me dead, but I could have never caused that type of pain to my family.
After that I didn't know about how I was anymore. I went to school the last day. The eighth graders had an eighth grade graduation before we entered high school. One of my favorite teachers had put pictures together of all of the eighth graders. When my picture came up, a bunch of the people who bullied me screamed "EEEWWW." I broke down right there in the middle of everyone.
I entered high school and it was better. Mainly because I made sure to tell someone when I was being bullied. The only major thing that happened was that the teacher asked the class if they knew what a condom was. I raised my hand and she pointed at me and said I had a penis. Now I look back and laugh because I am a girl, I don't have a penis but this started nasty rumors at school. I went to the principal and he refused to do anything. I told my mom and this time she told him she would take the school to the board if they didn't do anything. The principal still didn't do anything and we did go to the board. The principal got into a lot of trouble and in the meeting with the superintendent and the principal the principal couldn't look me in the eye. The superintendent knew that he had no intention of helping me. Other than that it was ok. I still went through without any friends for one reason.
The only good thing during eighth grade was that I met my new best friend. Her name was Diana. She went to a different middle school and high school than I did but we became fast friends. She really helped me at this point in my life. I really loved her and she loved me. We were best friends for four years after eighth grade. She was good for me in eighth grade but then things started to change in high school. She started talking me into not hanging out with anyone except her. She started threatening that she would cut herself if I didn't stop crying. This happened gradually over the four years. She told me not to have any friends except her while she could have plenty. I wanted to have a best friend so badly that I would have done anything to make her happy. My senior year of high school was when I stopped speaking to her because I realized that she was not my friend. She was toxic. I also started becoming friends with Travis again my senior year. I fell in love with him. I went to his football games and cheered me on. He called me his good luck charm. Then he just stopped speaking to me again out of the blue.
Now I had no one. I had to tell myself that. I had no one.
My freshmen year in college was really good. I actually had friends but they were just friends in my classes. I wanted to add them on Facebook but was so afraid of rejection that I didn't. My shyness and fear of rejection really was the only thing that held and continues to hold me back.
The only bad thing about my freshmen year was that I saw Maria in college. We became best friends again and I thought she wanted to be best friends with me. It turns out she only needed me to do stuff for her. My great uncle passed away last Christmas and she was never there for me, just like with my grandmother. I was always there for her though, carrying her books when she broke her leg, picking her up because her car broke down, copying off of my study guide because I had the right answers. Then she started making fun of me on Twitter and I stopped being friends with her right away.
Remember my stepdad? Yeah, things with him had gotten a lot worse. When I was eighteen he and my mom went on a romantic vacation over Easter and he and mom refused to drop me off at a family member's house even though it was on the way to where they were going. I was forced to spend Easter alone. He got mad at me because I sat in a chair at the kitchen table that he claimed wasn't my chair, it was his. I no longer went on vacations with him and my mom because he would get mad whenever we didn't do what he wanted to do and would mope around until mom would give in. He got mad once because I ate some potato chips that were on the counter and he yelled calling me a bitch and told my mom that I shouldn't be allowed to eat his potato chips. My mom didn't allow this. She told him I could eat whatever I wanted in my house. He's still mad about that. He took me out to eat once but he just didn't talk and only did it because my mom was mad at him for not getting to know me. The only reason he ever did anything for me was because my mom would be mad at him and he would manipulate his way back onto her good side. Finally a few months ago my mom said she had had enough and threw him out and said she would get a divorce.
It has been such a peaceful few months. No arguing, no yelling, my house has been completely peaceful just like it used to be. It has felt like heaven
Like I said, life never has a habit of going my way.
Right now I am sitting in the corner of my room with my knees up to my chest crying. I just found out that my mom is going to let my stepdad move back in. My dad lives in California and I am in Tennessee so there is no way I can move in with him. All because my stepdad made promises that he will change and be nicer to me, she believes him, and he will move back in and I will be back to square one. No friend to talk to, my mother consumed with my stepfather. I want to go back to a time when my life was simpler. When my grandmother was alive, when I was loved more than anything I could ever imagine. I all of a sudden stand up and slam my hand onto my desk and walk out of the French doors onto my balcony. I look up into the heavens, me, Miley Stewart, has never been the type to yell at the skies but this time I had too. I prayed, "Lord, send me an angel, a miracle. Right now I am so alone, I have no one! Please, I will do anything you want." I slide down onto the floor of the balcony and fall on my knees in tears. "Please, please just send me someone."
The next morning I wake up to my alarm going off. I hit the button to my alarm clock and slowly get up. I don't remember going to bed. I just remember being in tears. I am extremely tired but I get up and get dressed anyway.
I do remember last night and I'm still depressed about it. I feel like I'm drowning with no one to really care for me. I am sitting in the school student lounge right now. Biology class just ended and I had to put stuff together in my notebook. I get up to walk out and back to my car. I am so busy looking inside my notebook that I don't even realize the person walking toward me distracted by her work. We run smack dab into each other, our papers flying everywhere.
"I'm sorry," we both say at the same time. After I help pick up the papers I look up to see a girl who I think might be in my class. She has blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes of anyone I've ever met. We hand each other back our papers and I smile at her. "Are you in my Biology class?" I ask.
"Yeah, I think so. I'm Lilly Truscott."
I reach out my hand and shake her hand. I feel like I should know her. "I'm Miley Stewart. It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too. Did you understand what our professor was talking about at all today? I felt like she just rambled."
I laughed. It was kind of boring. "Yeah but that egg experiment was kind of cool"
"Yeah, aren't you in Mr. Smith's Sociology class too?" I nod my head. She has a look of relief in her face when she says, "Do you know how to work the website? I'm trying to get to the assignment."
"Oh that's not due until next week so don't worry but I'm in no rush so if you want we can go to the computer lab and I can show you," I say with a smile.
"Ok, thanks." We walked to the computer lab and I couldn't help how comfortable around her. I found out that she was a sophomore like me and we somehow wound up in all of our five classes together. We were apparently in a lot of our classes together last semester too, weird, I never really noticed her. After I showed her how to work the website we decided to sit and study together. We wound up laughing and talking most of the time though.
"So have you lived in Tennessee all your life?" She asks me.
"Yeah I have. How about you?"
"My mom and I just moved down here from Malibu after she and my dad divorced and she got promoted at her job. I live over in Crowley Corners Place."
"That's where I live too. Leave it to a small town to name a subdivision after the town. I live at house number 801." I say as I smile. I feel completely happy.
"I live at house number 803," she says as her smile brightens. "Maybe we should start going to school together?"
"Yeah, I'd like that. It sure would be nice to have company, just as long as you don't mind me singing to the car radio." I always loved doing that, Maria hated it when she rode with me.
I see Lilly smile, "I love to sing along to the car radio. Where did you say your dad lives again?"
"He lives in Malibu and my brother Jackson lives with him and goes to Malibu community college." Oh I forgot to mention my brother Jackson in my story. He was there but he and I always messed with each other. He really just ignored my stepdad.
"That's where I used to live. My best friend Oliver still lives there. I think you two would like each other too."
"I think we would." Oliver. I feel like I should know him. "Hey, want to get an ice cream at the ice cream parlor? They have the best mint chocolate chip."
Lilly nods her head. "You know, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Hmm, friendship. I look up at the heavens briefly. Maybe things can go my way.
Author's Note: That story made me cry. Yes all of this did happen to me. Like I said, I am still looking for my true friends. I haven't found them yet but good things take time and some things happen in the blink of an eye. Ok I'm done reciting song lyrics. I do believe I will find true friends one day, maybe even on here. I was depressed when I started this but I continued thinking it might help someone. Anyway, please rate and review and feel free to PM me if you have any questions. :-)