Don't quote me on that!
Doctor Who Society Pub Crawl – Sept 2014
We had a number of different challenges during our pub crawl and one was to complete the following sentence:
"You FOOLS!" screamed the Master. "Have you forgotten the awesome power of my… [insert witty answer here]
Here are the results from our four, and thankfully anonymous, teams!
In fourth place…
"You FOOLS!" screamed the Master. "Have you forgotten the awesome power of my sonic screwdriver, if you know what I mean?" He winked at the Doctor.
"As we speak I am penetrating the centre of your TARDIS.
In third place…
"You FOOLS!" screamed the Master. "Have you forgotten the awesome power of my ninja kangaroo rabbit, sexual allure, powerful chin, sassy demeanour, phone battery, slut drop, I don't think you're ready for this jelly. My thighs can crush mountains, they can break a neck and they can make anyone swoon from over 100 yards."
The Master tensed his thighs as Martha and Captain Jack fainted. The Doctor looked around he was out of companions and out of time, soon the Master's plans would be complete. Bullet pointing abilities!
In second place…
You FOOLS!" screamed the Master. "Have you forgotten the awesome power of my galactic badger?"
The Doctor looked at him with his jaw agape. "But they're illegal! The thirteenth article of the Shadow Proclamation forbids their use!"
The Master laughed manically. "You silly old fool, the articles mean nothing to me, a superior Time Lord!"
"But the galactic badger ate the mirror galaxy and we're standing in a Hall of Mirrors!" the Doctor protested.
"The galactic badger answers only to me!" the Master boomed, still laughing.
"You fool!" exclaimed the Doctor. "No-one can possibly control the galactic badger when it's in mating season!"
The badger suddenly growled menacingly, startling the Master, who squealed like a little girl and jumped five feet in the air. Almost immediately the mirrors began to shatter. Glass flew across the room like confused sideways rain as the Doctor ducked behind a possum-shaped bookcase (it was quite a tall possum so it fully concealed the Time Lord).
"No! Galactic badgerrrr!" the Master screamed. "You swore to obey only me!" The badger looked at him sternly, its paws on its hips.
"Seriously mate, did you really think you could control me, the eater of the mirror galaxy, and other assorted things!" The Master fumed and reached for his stolen vortex manipulator.
"One day I will destroy the galactic badger planet, Badgermory, and you'll regret this!"
With a whoosh and a bleep the Master activated the manipulator and disappeared. The badger turned towards the Doctor, glowing purple.
"Die, you skinny Time Lord!" An epic battle ensued, the Doctor dodging swipes and dodging glass, but the badger cornered him. "Now I have you!" the badger shouted, but the Doctor just grinned.
"Actually, I'm not so sure about that." he replied and casually gestured over his shoulder where the TARDIS sat. The badger sighed.
"Okay, you win. Guess I'm stuck here."
"I could give you a lift," the Doctor replied. "I need a companion."
And with that the badger stepped inside the TARDIS and they all lived happily ever after.
In first place…
"You FOOLS!" screamed the Master. "Have you forgotten the awesome power of my VICTORIAN ANTS?"