1,008Chapter Twenty One: Nowhere I'd Rather Be
The sun hung brightly in the sky, banishing the clouds that had the previous day been hiding its light. Summer was drawing to and end but there were still some days of glorious heat to enjoy. At least, that's what most people were saying to one another as they happily walked by. Harry though, he was too preoccupied to enjoy it. His little trip had messed with so many lives and there were still some things that needed fixing. And then there were those things that were just plain new and unexpected.
"Hey," Harry turned to see Daphne walking towards him, she was dressed in a formal blouse and skirt as she had come from work but even so she still looked the most beautiful woman there. It felt like he had never really seen her before. It wasn't just her looks, it was the fact he knew her, really knew her and that just made her more beautiful in his eyes.
"Hi," Harry smiled, aware of how dopey his grin must seem but not really caring. She rolled her eyes at him but smirked back at him, her eyes dancing in the morning sunlight. There was a small moment of hesitation as the gap closed between them, so slight that Harry almost missed it, he almost dismissed it as nothing but then Daphne was in front of him, closer than usual but leaning up for a kiss and suddenly it made sense. She was unsure how to act. All this time and still there were things that surprised him.
He leant down, waiting a brief second, making sure it was what she wanted too. It only took the smallest of movements and the shadow of a smile to flicker across her face for him to know.
"Do you want to go inside?" Harry asked somewhat nervously when they had pulled apart after a longer kiss than he'd been expecting. She nodded and together they headed into the café, Harry hurrying to hold the door for her and earning himself a disparaging, yet teasing look for his troubles. But he was nothing if not a gentleman.
They easily found a table, the lunch time rush hadn't started yet and thanks to Daphne's new research project she could take time off whenever she liked.
"How's work?" Harry asked once they had ordered their drink and settled down at the small table away from the centre of the café and by the window. Daphne, Harry knew, liked to sit where she could see the muggle world passing by. She was curiously fascinated by them, how their lives worked, what it was like to be without magic. More often than not, Harry would catch her looking past him and intently watching the people that hurried by.
"It's okay, busy," Daphne replied, her eyes, not flitting to the street as they so often did, but instead remaining fixed on Harry. Almost as if he was the only thing that mattered in the room. "This stage of the project always is, narrowing down research parameters, finding materials, theories and attempting to develop them into practice, that kind of thing. But it's been good for me to get back into it again."
"You said it was time-dilation, right?" Left unsaid was the apology for just why Daphne hadn't been able to get back to work. Somehow Harry doubted that she would appreciate it, partly because he knew that she still blamed herself but also because she was vehemently against him taking any responsibility. But Daphne had had longer to come to terms with it.
"Yes, it's actually rather unexplored. I'd thought more people would have looked into it. The implications alone are staggering."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, take prisons. You throw people in Azkaban for years, decades at a time. If we can get this formula right then you wouldn't have to. It changes it so how time is experienced. Say we made it into a potion and someone took that, to them a day be could like a year, or a month like a whole life time. It effects how that person lives their life, for every second we observe them they feel as if they're living minutes. So instead of putting a criminal in Azkaban for a decade, you could just put in there for a few days and to them it would feel like ten years had gone by when actually it hadn't. Don't get me wrong, we're only at an early stage and this could take months to perfect but I think it could be astounding."
"Look at you, changing the world," Harry grinned.
"I prefer nudging in the right direction," Daphne smirked. "How about you, have you managed to see Matthews yet?"
"Earlier yeah," the aging auror had been her usual blunt, brusque and straight-forward self. The reprimand that Harry had received had been unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Everyone else had been kind, asked how he was and if he was ready to come back. Matthews had shouted at him for being irresponsible and unthinking. "It went well."
"Told you she'd give you the job."
"Technically she still hasn't, I'm still on probation."
"Practically the same thing," Daphne said dismissively, waving her hand.
"You just don't want to be wrong."
"I very rarely am," Daphne teased, but then her faltered slightly and Harry knew that she was remembering the times when she had been wrong. Harry sighed but there was nothing he could do and he knew it. This was something Daphne could only deal with herself. That didn't mean that he wasn't going to be there for her, listen to her or not, whatever she needed. But in the end the only person who Daphne needed forgiveness from was herself.
Harry wanted to avoid what he had to say next, the real reason that he'd asked Daphne to meet wasn't just that he wanted to see her – though that was a part of it. But he knew he couldn't. It was just delaying the inevitable. She had a right to know, after all.
"I saw Ron a few days ago," Harry said hurriedly, the words tripping out of his mouth as he eagerly tried to get it over with. "When I got back actually. I know what happened between you two."
"Let me guess, you couldn't just sit there and not try and help," Daphne prompted, an almost despairing tone to her voice. It wasn't that she was angry, Harry knew what an angry Daphne looked like. There would be more shouting, or possibly silence. This was different. As if she'd been expecting him to do just what he had done. Harry wondered idly when he'd become such an open book.
"Pretty much, yeah."
"And how did that work out?"
oOo
Two days earlier…
"Harry?"
Harry stood unsure and confused in the corridor and forced a smile onto his face as the bewildered gaze of one of his best childhood friends greeted him. Daphne had said that they knew he was coming, but that still, apparently, didn't stop Hermione looking as if she'd been stunned. The bright artificial lights illuminated every inch of her frozen face as she stared dumbfounded at him.
"Hey," was all Harry's brain could manage to come up with. In the face of Hermione's disbelief any preparation that he had, which admittedly hadn't been much, had sailed out of the window. There was nothing where words should be, instead just a big black hole filled only with confusion and nervousness.
"You're back," Hermione breathed. There was a short awkward moment of continued staring and then her face split into a smile and suddenly Harry was crushed under the force of a bone-snapping hug, a hug he was only more than happy to reciprocate.
"Ron! Ron! Come here!"
"What's going on?" Ron's confused and befuddled voice asked from the living room. Harry's vision was blinded by the sheer amount of bushy hair that was in his face so all he could hear were the footsteps of his earliest friend hurrying towards him. Harry almost froze because he knew what was going to happen. After the happiness and the relief there was only one way this conversation was going to go and it was one which Harry wished with all his heart that he could avoid. But even as he hoped that he could he remembered the look on Daphne's face, the guilt and the pain that had tormented her for days on end. He had to do that. If not for himself then for her. She deserved it.
"See for yourself," Hermione beamed, stepping away from Harry. There in the space that her hair had been filling stood Ron. His hair was dishevelled and small bags hung under his eyes, whatever he'd been doing he looked exhausted. But that exhaustion seemed to vanish as he realised what he was looking at. Harry had never really thought of Ron as a hugger, not like Hermione, but as soon as he laid eyes on Harry, Ron had closed the gap between them and was gripping his friend in a tight hug.
It was a lot shorter than Hermione's, but there was no surprise there. Ron had never really been great at expressing his emotions. He still wasn't if what Andromeda had said was anything to go by.
"It's good to have you back, mate," Ron grinned.
"Good to be back," Harry said, forcing a smile. "Mind if I come in?"
"Yeah, sorry," Ron said quickly, stepping back. Hermione sung the door shut behind Harry as he and Ron headed into the living room. It was exactly as Harry remembered it, almost. There was still the obsessive cleanliness and order, especially in the bookshelves that lined the walls and the way that the various photos that lined the walls were still spirit-level straight. But there was a subtle difference. Some of Ron's things were scattered around the room, a leaflet for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes lay open on the table along with a few messy notes and the outer part of his robe was thrown lazily over the sofa. In the old days Hermione would have cleaned that up in an instant. They were living together. Finally. It was the only thing that made sense. When he had visited he'd been forced to abide by her strict regime, but this, this was a mixture of both.
"Do you want a drink?" Ron asked, unable to wipe the cheery grin off his face.
"I'm good, thanks." Harry shrugged as he sank slowly down onto the sofa. Ron shrugged before happily throwing himself down in the chair to Harry's left. Hermione perched on the arm her won expression more reserved than Ron's, but hadn't that always been the case? There was a long silence filled with only the awkward tension of nobody being quite sure what to say next, after all, there wasn't really an etiquette for dealing with a time-travel accident.
"So," Harry said, breaking the silence, "you're engaged. Congratulations. Sorry they're a little late."
"What?" Ron spluttered.
"But how did you -" Hermione began.
"The ring and the fact Ron's clearly living here now, I mean let's face it there's no way you'd let him get away with this mess if he was just visiting," Harry answered, "that and Andromeda told me when I went round earlier."
"We were going to tell you," Ron said hurriedly. "You're not angry, are you?"
"Why would I be angry?"
"Because we got engaged the one time you weren't here to see it?"
"Well, I'll be here for the wedding so it's not all bad," Harry shrugged. He couldn't be mad at them, his disappearance was the exact reason that Ron had finally realised what everyone else had known for years. That he and Hermione were made for each other, they might fight and drive each other insane at times, but the love that one felt for the other was undeniable. "Don't get me wrong, I wish you'd done this ages ago, but for your sakes."
"Yeah, well, I've always been a bit thick," Ron admitted sheepishly. "I only asked because -"
"I know," Harry said quickly. He didn't want to hear it. Yes, their engagement was amazing, it was wonderful but at the same it had come from Ron's heartbreak and realisation that nothing was permanent and the reminder that everything had its time and could vanish in heartbeat. "I know. I'm sorry."
"What do you mean you're sorry?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah, it wasn't your fault," Ron protested.
"That's what Andromeda said," Harry told them. "I know she's right and I know you're right really, but I went in there without thinking it through like I always do only this time…" he sighed, his hand coming up and rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses. "I left people behind, I left you behind and the worst is you had no idea when I'd be back. I can only imagine how that would feel. If it were either of you that had happened to I don't know what I'd have done. I never wanted this. Any of it."
"We know," Hermione assured him. "But you're back now, that's what matters."
"Doesn't fix everything though, does it?" Harry asked, a little spitefully than he'd have liked but his head was beginning to throb and he could feel the tiredness behind his eyes. How long had he even been awake? Did the last three weeks count or not? "And it's not going to, not for a long time."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked gently, sharing a quick glance with Ron who just shrugged and looked confused.
"Andromeda told me what happened, everything. That's how I know about you guys having no clue when I'd be back, it's how I know how much Teddy missed me, and it's how I know what happened with Daphne. She didn't mean for any of this and you…" his gaze fell on Ron and stayed there. In the many months since he'd been away from the field Harry had never once felt like an auror at the height of a case, but as he stared into Ron's eyes that old feeling stirred again. It was almost like a game, trying to figure out the other person's hand without being in any kind of control over.
"You told her that she did." Harry continued, his voice was quiet and level but it took all he had not it let it shake, to stop it from betraying the coiling emotions that threatened to burst from under the surface. "That it was her fault. But worst of all, Ron, you told her that I would never forgive her for what she did. How could think for even one second that that would be true? After everything we've been through, don't you know me better than that?"
There was a stunned silence, but it was different to one that had when they had seen him. Where that had been hopeful this was almost guilty, like an accused man who had hired all the right lawyers and barristers because he couldn't rely on the truth to save his skin. Hermione bit her lip, looking as if she was stopping herself from interrupting.
"Why did you say it?" Harry asked when Ron remained silent.
"Why'd you think? After all that stuff that happened with Ginny we've only just you back and then you disappear, how was I meant to react?"
"By not taking it out on Daphne?" Harry suggested finding it harder and harder with each passing second to stay calm. There were some lines that shouldn't be crossed. What Ron had said was one of them. He understood loss and the crippling, soul-destroying pain that came with it. But it was no excuse. "Hermione didn't do what you did and she was there! So why did you? Daphne did nothing wrong."
"She didn't do much right either, mate."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know what it means, she's the one that convinced you to put yourself down for it. Yeah, okay, she didn't intentionally do any of that stuff but without her it wouldn't have happened either. You'd have still been here."
"First off, no, she didn't. I'm the one that volunteered Ron. Me. It wasn't her, even if she had asked, I still had to yes. If anything, she tried to talk me out of it, just like Andromeda. But I didn't listen and did it anyway, but you wouldn't know that, would you? You didn't ask." Harry paused, running a hand over his face and trying very hard not to lose his temper. Why could Ron not see what he'd done?
"How would you have felt if that had been Hermione I'd done that too?" Harry asked in a bid to try and make Ron realise the ramifications of his mistake. "Say she'd done the same, asked you to do something and you got hurt and then I'd gone and lashed out, blamed her without even thinking. How would you feel then, Ron?"
"But you'd never - that's a completely different thing."
"Is it? Why?"
"It just is," Ron spluttered indignantly.
"Oh Ron," Hermione sighed. "Don't you get it?"
"What? It's not like Harry loves her or anything." Ron argued back, Hermione faltered, her eyes darting to Harry. Of course she knew, Harry thought. It would explain a lot too, he realised, why Hermione hadn't reacted as badly as Ron, why she'd kept quiet and not taken sides, all of it. She'd known what Harry had hidden even from himself and what Daphne too had been too scared to admit.
"Wrong again," Harry said stiffly.
"No, no way, you'd have said something." Ron retorted, a frown furrowing his brow. "You'd have told me."
"I'm telling you now," Harry pointed out. "Look I didn't say anything because I've only just realised and because I didn't think it would go anywhere. But even if I didn't, even if we were just friends, what you did still wasn't okay. Daphne spent weeks trying to get me back, weeks doing nothing but figuring out what went wrong and how she could fix it. She already felt so guilty about what happened, when she came here she was trying to help and what did you do? Threw it in her face. You should be ashamed of yourself."
"Mate, I'm sorry, alright? If I'd known –"
"You shouldn't have needed to." Harry snapped bitterly. "And I'm not the one you should be apologising to either."
There was a frosty silence, Harry could feel his heart hammering hard against his rib-cage. It occurred to him that maybe he wasn't being fair, Ron hadn't been in his right mind after all. Grief did strange things to people. But it hadn't just happened once, from what Andromeda had said Ron hadn't given Daphne a chance, instead he'd used her as a glorified punch bag.
"I'll let myself out," Harry said eventually getting to his feet. He teetered there for a second before quickly adding, "congratulations again." And then he turned away heading for the door. He was almost over the threshold to the hallway when he heard Ron's voice.
"Mate, listen –"
"No Ron, you listen." Harry snarled, cutting across his friend. "We're not kids anymore, you can't just throw your toys out the pram every time something goes wrong. Grow up. Accidents happen and I told you before, she didn't do anything. You want someone to blame, blame me. It was my idea. I just wanted to help, I didn't think it could go wrong or what might happen if it did and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't think about you or Teddy or anyone else. So call me a selfish prick if you like or whatever you want, I don't care. But don't think you have the right to dish out blame on someone else who was just as heart-broken as you."
And with that Harry turned on his heel and left.
oOo
"Well, that could have ended better," Daphne said wincing a little as Harry ended his story. Her hands were clasped around the enormous mug of hot chocolate that she had ordered, the waiter had interrupted just as Harry was filling Daphne in on Ron's reaction and had had the good decency to look apologetic as soon as he had realised the seriousness of the conversation he had stumbled into.
"Yeah, you can say that again," Harry sighed. "I don't know, maybe I was being too harsh. It just got to me, thinking of him saying stuff like that. Especially to you."
"Maybe a little, but It's like you said, no-one else reacted like that. He needed to hear it and not just from me or Trace, admittedly I wasn't exactly great to him either but he was still out of line."
"What would you do?"
"I don't know," Daphne admitted, "I like to think I'd be big enough to forgive him. Somehow I think you will. But I also know that you couldn't care less what people say to you but as soon as they insult people you care about you tend to lose your temper. So, I don't know."
"Would you? Forgive him, I mean?"
"I understand where he's coming from, I always did. That was part of why it upset me so much. I blamed myself as much as he did, it didn't exactly help to hear it from someone else. But it was hard for everyone, we all dealt with it in different ways. My way wasn't great, neither was his. Doesn't make him a bad person."
"It doesn't make it okay either." Harry argued, but he knew what Daphne was saying. This was all fresh for him. Even two days later doubts were starting to set in, what would three weeks do? But it was thing to want to forgive one, it was another to actually do it. So much of his life had been spent living for other people. Harry was just tired of having to be understanding all the time. For once he just wanted to be selfish.
"No, but this is new to you. It's been three weeks, I've had time to calm down."
"Since when were you so understanding?"
"I blame you," Daphne said jokingly. "You're a bad influence."
"Funny, from this side it looks like I'm helping."
"Perspectives can be deceiving," Daphne shrugged flippantly. "And you are quite blind, so you can be forgiven for not being unable to see the difference."
"Alright, I can't help it."
"And I can't help you being wrong but I still have to put up with it," Daphne teased.
"There were times when I wondered why you chose a job centred round isolation and secrecy, suddenly it makes sense now."
"Look at you being funny."
"You must be a bad influence," Harry echoed back to her. She grinned over the rim of her coffee mug and Harry couldn't help but smile back. "No, you're not."
"You say the sweetest things," Daphne replied, with only a trace of sarcasm tinging her words. Typical Daphne, joking when the conversation got serious.
"I'm serious," Harry persisted. He wanted her to know that. Everything with Ron and the newness of whatever this was between them had just made Harry want to tell her more. "Ever since I've known you you've been amazing. You helped me through a lot, I know I wasn't the best company to begin with but you stayed anyway and I can't thank you enough. I wouldn't change it for the world."
"Even after all this?"
"Definitely," Harry promised her.
"But everything you missed out on, that time you lost. Ron's got a point, you know, if I'd never been in your life this wouldn't have happened. Surely you'd want to change that?"
"Not if it meant being without you," Harry admitted and he meant it. Yes, there were things he regretted and had he known the future there were things he may not have done. But he hadn't and there was point dwelling on the past. All that meant was that the future was sacrificed, his future, his life. It was time he started to move on from the past and begin to live in his present. "I am better with you. So no, I wouldn't change anything. Things will get better, they always do. Believe me, I should know."
"You sure about that?"
"Positive."
"And if they don't?" Daphne asked, she sounded nervous. It didn't take a genius to realise why. A combination of guilt and fear. Guilt over the accident and fear of the unknown, of stepping into a relationship with someone, just being with them. It was something, for her. To be vulnerable like that, to share every detail and she was scared. Maybe she thought it was new, but that feeling never went away, not really. The beginning of every relationship was the same, the fears just got quieter.
"Then there's no-one I'd rather face them with," Harry answered. "So how about dinner? Tonight. Anytime and anywhere. Your choice, my treat."
"That would be lovely," Daphne smiled.
"Then it's a date," Harry grinned back before slowly leaning as she did the same and gently kissing her. He didn't care that they were in public, he didn't care that anyone could see. The Daily Prophet or Witch Weekly news teams could burst through that door for all it mattered; because for the first time, in a very long time and despite the chaos and wreckage from everything that had happened, in that brief and perfect moment it all seemed to fade because he felt truly happy.
AN: So that's almost the end, just one more chapter - an epilogue - to go and then it's done. This might seem like an awkward place to end things, but everything will be wrapped up in the next chapter. I didn't want to drag this story out and I've always promised myself that once they get together that's going to be how it ends. I hope that you all like this. As always, if you've got any comments leave a review or any questions just message me and I'll be happy to help.