A/N: The story continues with the aftermath of Vili's death and Kili's premature birth.
Chapter 2- Life
Once Fili had been fed and tucked into bed, Dis returned to the front room. Outside the storm had lessened considerably and thunder no longer rolled through the night. As she entered the room Thorin and Balin looked up from the table where they were talking, noting that she carried Vili's best clothes with her.
Setting her bundle on the table, Dis took her own seat and turned to her brother.
"I need to see him," her voice betrayed no emotion.
They both nodded having already discussed this possibility.
Balin rose, "I will stay with Fili while Thorin takes you."
Dis merely nodded in acknowledgement of the offer then stood and made her way to the door.
It was barely drizzling when they passed the doors into the mountain and made their way to one of the few rooms still in use. Dwalin stood in the doorway, impassive. As they approached, the big fighter pulled Dis into a hug, murmuring words of comfort. In another time and place, the warrior and the princess might have found each other first; but that was not here, so all Dwalin could do was offer his sympathy, his own heart sorely hurting for Dis.
Releasing the princess from his arms, Dwalin stepped aside to allow her admittance. As Thorin approached, the two locked eyes, not needing words to convey their thoughts. All the time they had spent together as friends and warriors, had made them almost like brothers, especially after Frerin's death.
Dis approached the stone pedestal where Vili's body lay covered by cloth from the neck down. Blood, red or black, no longer covered his head and beard; and his wife knew why. Dwalin, cousin and best friend of her brother, had appointed himself Amradshomak, the Guard of the Dead; he had cleansed her husband and he would watch over the fallen warrior until the funeral. She felt honored that Vili had such a protector.
Slowly Dis reached out to cup her palm against her husband's flaccid face knowing that she would not see his broad smile or hear his infectious laughter until she also trod the Halls of Mandos.. Gently she fingered the small braids hanging from his mustache, remembering how the small beads would tap against her face when they kissed. Perhaps one day Fili might honor his father by choosing the same style.
As she stroked his beard, Dis felt an overwhelming need to look beneath. As she drew the still damp blonde hair away from Vili's neck, Thorin stepped closer until he stood just behind his little sister fearing how she would react.
Although Dwalin had done a remarkable job of approximating the edges of the wound, nothing could hide the fact that an arrow through his neck had ended Vili's life. A sob escaped Dis's lips as she dropped the beard clamping a hand over her mouth to stifle her anguish. Her whole body shook as the finality of her loss hit once again.
Thorin wrapped his arms around his grieving sister turning her to face him and pulled her close. Dis cried into her brother's shoulder. She...they had lost so many: Thror, Frerin, and now Vili dead and Thrain missing. She didn't see how she could go on. Come spring Thorin would ride on circuit again .leaving her to fend for Fili and herself, and a new baby; she did not know how she would survive.
As if that thought had prompted her body, she felt a cramping pain in her belly that caught her so off guard she gasped. Thorin just squeezed her tighter, thinking it another reaction to grief. Dis, however, felt the cold fingers of premonition on her spine, telling her that the evils this day was far from over.
Resolutely the raven-haired Dwarrowdam pushed back from her brother's arms wiping tears from her face. She turned to Dwalin.
"I am honored that you have chosen to be Vili's guard," she said. "He would be, too. And while I know it is your duty as such, I would ask the privilege of dressing my husband."
"As you wish," the great warrior bowed then returned to his position at the door while Dis, with Thorin's aid, clothed Vili in his best tunic and trewes.
Then as custom, Thorin retrieved the warrior's twin swords from the corner where Dwalin had placed them after cleaning them until they gleamed. Walking back to the bier, the prince crossed them over Vili's chest.
Dis touched his arm, "Thorin, no." she seemed to struggle with her decision. "I want Fili to have them. I will send Vili's war hammer; it has always served him well."
Thorin nodded understanding and carefully picked up the blades.
Outside the wind was gathering strength again threatening that the storm system had not yet run its course.
"We should go now," Dis decided. She bent to kiss her husband's forehead and a sob escaped her as her body cramped yet again. She closed her eyes telling herself that she was wrong because it was too early for labor to start, two moons too early.
By the time the two hurried back through the door of the small home, the rain had begun again to a lesser degree than before. They scurried over to the fire to warm themselves from the chill.
"Lad's slept the whole time," Balin assured them. "Not a peep out o' him."
Dis turned to face the counselor, white-haired even though he was younger than Thorin by seventeen years. Beyond all belief, she actually laughed, "In that case, we should check because he is never that quiet."
Balin and Thorin returned to their earlier discussion at the kitchen table while Dis poured three mugs of tea that Balin had prepared, and then joined them. They talked first about Vili's funeral arrangements and then turned to the village's protection. It seemed the orcs had been quite bold in their attack, not even waiting for the cover of darkness for their raid. This fact nagged at Thorin but he couldn't make any reasonable connections. Instead they discussed battle plans and doubling the guards.
Soon all three mugs were empty and Dis rose to refill them.
"Ah, no, lassie," Balin stated. "I best be making me way home. Suspect that storm'll be kicking up again."
Dis placed the mugs on the counter and turned to thank Balin for watching their son. Throughout the discussions, Dis had been quiet when she felt the cramps. It had been easier to cover them sitting at the table where she could discretely clutch her swollen belly. But now she was standing and totally unprepared for the most intense contraction that gripped her, bending her almost double and forcing a cry from her lips..
In an instant Thorin was at her side, arms on her shoulders.
"What is it, Dis?"
She shook her head, rising as her uterus relaxed. "I think I'm in..." Dis was interrupted as she felt water gush between her legs. She stared down with horror on her face as she saw fluid mixed with blood pooling around her feet.
"NO!... Not my baby...Not now, not now, not now," Dis wailed inconsolably.
Thorin and Balin stared at each other, quite caught off guard by the present events.
"I'll get Oin," Balin offered already heading for the door.
Thorin nodded mutely. Childbirth. He was totally out of his element; any male dwarf, except a healer, would be.
Dis continued to cry interspersed with pleas that she wasn't in labor, that her water hadn't broken, that there was no blood.
Thorin scooped his sister up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom. He stood her in the middle of the floor and gripped her face in his hands.
"Dis," he shouted trying to break through her incoherence. "Look at me."
Slowly she met his gaze and her voice trailed off.
"Oin is on his way. What do we need to do?"
Dis stared blankly as if he were speaking Black Speech to her. She only blinked in reply.
"DIS!" This time he bellowed.
Dis blinked again shaking herself out of her confusion. "I need clean clothes and a rag to clean myself."
Thorin nodded thankful for concrete instructions. He could fetch water and a rag.
When he returned Dis had found her gown and laid it on the bed. She took the water, thanking him, and subtly dismissing him with a look.
"Ah, I'll be right outside if you need me." Hastily Thorin left the room, only to nearly trip over his little sister-son who stood at his Mum's door wiping sleep from his eyes.
"Fili, why are you out of bed?" Thorin asked.
"Is Mum hurt?" Fili tried to push past his uncle into the room, but his uncle had closed the door.
Thorin squatted down in front of the child placing his hands on Fili's shoulders.
"No, your Mum isn't hurt. She just very upset about losing your Da, and then she made a mess in the kitchen. You know how she gets when everything goes wrong."
Fili nodded. He didn't like to be around when Mum yelled. It wasn't fun.
"She's had a really bad day and just needs to rest," Thorin continued. "Let's get you back to bed."
From the other side of the door Dis called, "It's all right, Thorin, let him come in."
Thorin opened the door and Fili ran to his mother.
"I hear you yell," he explained.
"Yes, little one, you did. Sorry I woke you. I just let myself get too upset. That's all. Now give Mum a kiss and Uncle Thorin will tuck you back in bed."
Dis leaned over and kissed her son, then shooed him out of the room, warning, "And go to sleep."
When Thorin returned, Dis was sitting on the bed, staring at the bassinet standing in the corner. "Vili was excited that I was with child again so soon. He couldn't wait to bring Fili's old bed into our room. And now Vili will never see his child." Her voice cracked as she sobbed.
Thorin was lost. He hated to see his baby sister so distraught and he did not have the words of comfort that she needed. So instead, he spoke the only kind of comfort he knew, the reassurance of strength and duty.
"Dis, you are a strong Princess of Durin's line. Your son needs you, your baby needs, your people need you," Thorin's voice faltered. "And I need you. Together we will get through this. We will endure, no matter the outcome. We always have."
Shortly, even though to Thorin it felt as if hours had passed, Balin returned with their healer Oin. Thorin nodded his appreciation, grateful to be relieved of responsibility for his little sister. Oin glanced at the fluid covering the floor then made his way to Dis's room.
In addition to the healer, Gloin's wife, Aris, had come knowing that the situation would require a female touch at some point. Aris went to Thorin, placing a hand on his arm. "It's been a bad day and I'm sorry, but we're here now. You relax and let us take care of things."
Thorin muttered a brief, "Thank you," and crossed to the front room where he sat before the fire. Balin joined him silently as they stared into the flames each lost in his own thoughts.
Sometime later Thorin's head jerked around as he heard the door open. With a wave of his hand Oin beckoned the prince forward and disappeared back inside. Thorin's eyes met Balin's briefly, and then he crossed to his sister's room.
Dis was lying in bed, her cheeks stained by tears, and Thorin felt his heart clench at his sister's distress. Taking her hand, he bent to kiss her forehead, and then straightened to hear Oin's assessment.
"As you may have concluded, Dis is in labor. There is an aloe tea that might halt it." The healer paused. "But her water has broken and there..."
"Just tell me what it means," Thorin snapped. He wanted the bottom line; nothing else mattered.
Oin looked at him and nodded.
"The baby will be born, if not tonight, then tomorrow; but, it's too early. The baby won't be fully developed; his lungs may not work properly. He might not be able to suck then swallow without choking, and if he can't eat, he won't live." The healer paused waiting for them to take in what he had said.
Thorin nodded once. Dis stared straight ahead, tears falling. Suddenly, she gripped Thorin's arm tightly as another contraction ran its course. When her face relaxed, Oin continued.
"Even if, by Mahal's will, he lives, he will be small, not the stalwart dwarfling you expect. He will not have the layer of fat that makes dwarflings hefty; he will be too thin which means he will not be able to tolerate the cold, especially not the icy Erid Luin winter," Oin took a deep breath before continuing.
"I'm sorry; but it's just too early. And if your baby lives, I believe that he will not survive the winter."
"How long?" Thorin demanded.
"How long what?" Oin asked for clarification.
"Before he's born."
The healer shook his head. "No way to tell. Every labor is different."
"So my sister has to go through all this pain and she'll still lose the baby?" Thorin snapped furiously. "Can't you do something?"
Oin understood the anger, had seen it often; but this time it seemed especially cruel with Dis having lost her husband today and probably her newborn tonight.
"No." Oin explained; "trying to stop her labor would just endanger Dis's life, too. There's already some bleeding so it's probably just best to let things progress naturally."
Thorin nodded, accepting the healer's judgment; and Oin left the room, leaving the two to discuss what he had said.
Dis shook her head not wanting to accept Oin's bleak assessment.
"No, this isn't happening. First Vili and now my baby dwarfling. I can't do this, Thorin," she cried, her voice escalating. "It's not fair. It's not fair," she screamed, drumming her clenched fists against her brother's chest.
Thorin tried to quiet his distraught sister, to no avail. Dis was now inconsolable. Quietly the door opened as Aris made her way to the bed. "Let me take care of her," she offered and Thorin fled the room gratefully.
As the night progressed, the next wave of storms that had threatened finally arrived with a vengeance. The rainfall was so heavy that Thorin could not see from their window across to the stable. Leaves and branches were ripped from the apple trees lining the fence. Lightening streaked in jagged fingers branching across the sky to be followed almost immediately by crashing thunder.
While Oin and Aris tended to Dis's labor, Thorin and Balin sat in the front room, not speaking, lost in thought. The timbre of the rain against stone changed as drops froze into pieces of hail. Without warning, a bolt of lightning struck one of the nearby apple trees splitting it. The attendant thunderclap was deafening rattling the windows of the home.
Almost immediately, Fili came hurtling from his room screaming. Thorin caught his little sister-son up in his arms trying to calm him.
Fili's breath came in ragged gasps as tears coursed down his face. "I scared, Unca Thowin, I scared," the dwarfling panted. He buried his face against his uncle's shoulder.
Thorin rubbed circles on the young one's back while reassuring him, "It's just a storm, Fili. It won't hurt you and it will end soon. Now you need to go back to sleep." He turned to take the boy back to his room.
"No, Unca Thowin. I stay wif you. No seep. I scared," Fili's words poured out one on top of the other as the lightning and thunder continued only reinforcing Fili's fears.
Thorin acquiesced sitting on the sofa and hugging his nephew tightly. Fili settled down against his chest.
"Why you up, Unca?" Fili asked, confused, knowing that it was too late for regular visitors.. "Why Mr Bawin here?"
Thorin sighed. Fili would find out soon enough and would not stop asking until he got some explanation. "Your mother is having her baby tonight," he explained.
"Now?" Fili sat back staring at his uncle.
"Yes, Fili, now."
"But Mum say li'l brudder come in two moons," Fili declared.
"That's right. The baby should not come now; it's too early." Thorin explained.
"If he not weady, why he come?"
Thorin really did not want to have this discussion, especially with his nephew who had already had difficulty understanding his father's death and would most likely have to deal with the baby's death, too. Loss upon loss, upon loss. Mahal hasn't the line of Durin suffered enough? The exiled king bit back the harsh words he wished to hurl at the unjustness of it all, instead schooling his voice to gently answer the dwarfling.
"Sometimes things happen that we cannot understand, like your Da going away. There's nothing we can do to change them. We just endure them," Thorin continued.
"My brudder go 'way like Da?" Fili's voice sounded so forlorn that Thorin closed his eyes hugging the dwarfling tight.
"Yes, Fili, your brother may go away like your Da," Thorin said quietly, not wanting to believe it himself.
"No. I not wet him go 'way," Fili declared adamantly. "I his brudder. I take care him."
"Yes, Fili, I'm sure you would," Thorin couldn't bring himself to refute Fili's assertion.
Thorin, Balin, and Fili remained in the front room, listening to the raging storm outside while Dis endured her labor pains knowing that each contraction most likely brought her closer to losing her child. Aris had been able to quiet the princess's near hysteria earlier and now Dis was consumed with the grueling contractions while Aris bathed her forehead with a cool rag.
Outside the storm howled on unrelentingly. Winds swept through the mountain like banshees screaming out death. The cold rain pelted down into the puddles already dotting the small yard. If this storm did not let up soon, Thorin feared the road might wash away and the nearby river overflow.
Suddenly the door to Dis's room opened and Aris beckoned Thorin. Fili had finally dozed off and Thorin gently shifted the dwarfling to the sofa nodding to Balin to watch the sleeping child.
Thorin approached the room with trepidation; he had heard no infant cries and he feared why Oin had called for him. He could not bear anything happening to his sister, either.
Opening the door, Thorin was shocked by his sibling's appearance. Dis was propped up with pillows behind her back. Her face was pale and covered with sweat that had also plastered strands of hair to her skin. As their eyes met, she held out a hand towards her brother.
This was not a place Thorin wanted to be. He didn't want to watch his baby sister suffer through the delivery. And he most definitely did not want to be there when the dwarfling was born for he feared the outcome. It was Vili's place by his wife, but the fallen dwarf would never stand beside Dis again. Thorin knew that he and Fili were all she had left now, unless...
Once again a jagged streak of lightening lit up the room, followed immediately by a deafening clap of thunder that shook the house. The crashing of the storm was so loud that it drowned out Dis's scream as her contraction finally expelled the little dwarfling into the world.
Exhausted Dis collapsed back onto the pillows panting. The only other sound heard was the wind and rain. Thorin watched as Oin tied and cut the cord then quickly assessed the baby. No words were needed, the healer's face said it all.
Oin looked up somberly shaking his head, "I'm sorry. He's not breathing."
Thorin stared at the tiny, still, limp body in the healer's hands.
Just as she had for Vili, Dis wailed for her baby. Flailing her arms, she tried to push Aris and Thorin away as she shook her head from side to side seeking to ignore the healer's words.
Quickly Oin wrapped the small body in a blanket and laid it in the crib, then returned to his patient to finish the delivery. After a brief word, Aris left the bedside headed for the kitchen. All attention was focused on Dis as her distress escalated, so focused, in fact, that no one noticed the blonde dwarfling who darted into the room.
Fili had awoken with the last tremulous thunder. Since Balin had moved to a window to check the storm's progress, Fili had quietly slipped off the couch and gone to his Mum's door. He had heard Oin's words and Dis's grief-stricken wail; and while he might not have understood what was happening, he knew his little brother was here.
As Aris left the room, Fili darted inside. He knew he wasn't supposed to be there, but he just wanted to talk to his brother. Hugging the wall he tiptoed to the crib, keeping his eyes averted from his Mum's bed. If he could not see them, Fili reasoned, then they would not see him.
Reaching the cradle, Fili reached in and uncovered the tiny bundle. His brother was very small with a head full of chestnut-colored hair and an absolutely smooth face. His skin was shiny and Fili reached out to touch him.
"Oh, wet, yuk!" he quickly pulled his hand back, shaking it. Taking the sides of the blanket, he started to wipe the baby's skin.
"Wake up. Pwease no go with Da," Fili begged. "You my brudder. You stay here 'n we play." With the blanket he rubbed the baby's chest and stomach, arms and legs, head and hair, even his back trying to get all the slime off of his baby brother.
All the while the five year old kept up the litany of phrases. "Pwease no go. I wuv you. Da go 'way. I need you stay here. I pwomise I protect you 'n keep you safe."
As Fili stroked his brother's back, the baby dwarfling gasped once. Surprised, Fili jerked his hands back, then realizing his brother had moved, he put his hand back on the baby's stomach and wiggled him. "See, you stay. We have fun."
The little dwarfling took another breath, then another, and then cried weakly.
Immediately, Oin was at the cradle standing across from Fili. He changed out the now wet blanket for a dry one and continued stimulating the baby until his cries strengthened, and he was moving his arms and legs.
"Good job, Fili," the healer ruffled his hair. "Now we need to keep your little brother warm, so keep him bundled up and..."
"Oin!" Thorin's yell interrupted.
The healer hurried back to the bed to find Dis unconscious and a pool of blood on the sheets. He felt for the top of her uterus and began to rub deeply. After a few minutes two large clots slid between her legs. Almost as soon as Aris returned from the kitchen, the healer sent her to swaddle the new baby then take the two dwarflings to the front room, .while he looked through his satchel for the right herbs to control bleeding after birth. Oin had no intention of allowing Dis to die from blood loss, not now, not tonight, when the family had already been so burdened by loss.
While Aris proceeded to bundle the tiny dwarfling, Fili continued talking to his baby brother and stroking his cheek. He was surprised that the baby was so small and red and while his cheeks were absolutely smooth, there was dark hair running down his back. To Fili's amazement, his little brother smiled, cooing.
Once in the sitting room, Aris told Fili to sit in the chair before the fire. Then she gently placed the wiggling blanket full of baby into his arms.
"Now hold your little brother tight, Fili," she instructed. "I'm going to make a nice pallet in front of the fire so we can keep your brother warm."
Fili wrapped both arms around the tiny dwarfling, pulling him close to his chest. The baby nuzzled his head into Fili's neck and the blonde dwarfling rested his chin atop his brother's head.
Before long Aris was back. She had arranged what warm covers and furs she could find before the fire, and had brought back a mug and a clean cloth that she had boiled earlier. She reached down and plucked the baby from Fili's arms and shooed him from the chair. Then she settled down holding the infant on her lap. Fili hung over the chair arm watching.
"Your Mum's just worn out right now, so she can't feed your brother," Aris explained. So we're going to see if he'll take some warm sugar water for us." She loosened the tightly wrapped blankets, then positioned the baby in the crook of her arm.
Unhappy with the new arrangements, the tiny dwarfling started squirming and fussing. Aris offered her little finger at the baby's lips and he tried sucking. Pleased that he at least was able to suck, Aris moved to the next hurdle. She dipped the corner of the cloth in the sugar water and offered it to the newborn who sucked greedily without choking. Aris continued until the baby tired, pleased that he had taken enough of the mixture.
Aris smiled at Fili, "Let's go see your Mum now. I think that she might want to hold this little boy."
When they entered the room Dis was awake and leaning back against her pillows. The room had been cleaned and Dis had washed her face, but she still looked pale and drawn from the day's ordeal. Fili ran to her side.
"Mum, I held my baby brother," squealed the blonde.
"You did?" Dis smiled; "Well now, I would like to hold him."
Aris transferred her bundle to Dis's arms. The princess smiled as she unwrapped her prize. "He's beautiful," she whispered, "But he's so liitle." Tears formed in her eyes. Now that she saw her tiny dwarfling, she understood just what Oin had meant about his size and no fat.
Thorin, seated beside her bed, leaned in to see his newest sister-son. "So what are you going to call him?"
"Kili," she smiled. "His name is Kili."
It was a cold winter, but by no means was it one of the worst. Dis had spent the first half-moon after her delivery resting in bed, the shock of Vili's death and Kili's unexpected birth had drained her. And her insistence on attending Vili's memorial ceremony had strained her even further. Under strict orders from Oin, she was allowed to feed Kili only in the daytime. At night she had to rest while the others fed Kili from a milk bladder.
With help from Aris and other dwarrowdams, Thorin and Fili were able to manage tending to their new addition. Throughout the winter Fili spent the nights with Kili in front of the fire, Fili on his back, Kili nestled on his chest. At one point when Kili was not gaining weight, Oin had Fili cradle the tiny dwarfling inside his nightshirt, skin to skin, to make use of body heat. It had worked, and Kili began to gain weight slowly.
When spring finally arrived, the heirs of Durin breathed a collective sigh. Even Oin was glad to be proven wrong when Kili made it through the Ered Luin winter. He was growing and developing his little personality, such a happy baby, always smiling and laughing, with the biggest brown puppy dog eyes.
Dis still mourned the loss of her husband, but now she had two dwarflings to tend to, and a brother who promised to spend more time at home instead of on the road. But above all, she was a Durin, and she would endure...for her family, and for her people.
FINIS
A/N: So that wraps up my canon on the day Dis's husband, Vili, died and Kili was born. Hope you enjoyed. Khuzdul phrases and grieving practices were taken from The Dwarrow Scholar website. Thanks for reading and please review.