Shout out to Middle of Nowhere by Wyolake for inspiring me to create my own self insert!
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age or anything else I mention in this story, whether they be songs or other video games. Each and every single item belongs to their creator. All I own is my crazy self.
So this has been a rather hectic day. Well more like bordering the unbelievable and absolutely unfathomable. That's a word right? Anyway let's start at the beginning. Dear Diary...no that sounds way too girly. Dear Journal...nope, still not it. Ok, Journal, are you ready to record my sanity?
I was at work. It was a pretty slow day, not too many deserts to make. I finally clocked out and was going over to my car. Simple enough right? I was finally headed home for some decent rest. I got out of the garage and started making my way home. The street was all green lights until I hit a red light. Cars were going and I was first in the lane! Woo! Anyway the light turned green and I was the first one out. Then I heard the horn of an eighteen wheeler coming straight for me. I did a quick side glance and everything turned to slow motion. I saw it coming toward me, driver side. I looked at the panicked face of the driver as tonnes of steel drove to where I was.
The guy had t-boned me. I think I had a second to feel agonizing pain and then nothing. Blackness. At first I thought I was dead but how could I keep thinking if I was dead? And it was extremely dark. Was this it? There was no heaven only complete darkness? Would I have to spend eternity just floating aimlessly with just my thoughts until I became one with the universe? It would have been a sad place to end my life. It didn't stop there. I felt that I had weight now. I could feel the ground with my hands and my eyes were still closed. I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar landscape. It was faded, blurry. Nothing was really focused. I rubbed my eyes. My contacts should have been in place from when I thought I died. It was a weird place with a green sky and various islands in the distance. They were floating islands. I went from lying on the ground to sitting up and looked at myself. My cook pants were gone as well as my work shoes. Instead I had on my regular jeans, one of my t-shirts, and white tennis shoes.
It was extremely odd place to be. At first I thought this was heaven but where was everybody? Not only that this place seemed familiar to me, like I've been here before. I couldn't remember where though. I looked everywhere from where I was sitting. I got up and looked around some more. The ground was fluctuating from green, to light brown, to gray. The color wouldn't just stay still. It was gravel and there were a few dead trees around me as well. I was standing on top of a very small clearing and I had no idea what to do.
So I sat down and waited. Then waited some more. Finally I got extremely bored just waiting. I stood up and started to walk. I noticed that there was a small path leading out of the clearing so I decided to follow it. As I started to walk the path I felt something was watching me. I looked back but there was nothing there. As I turned to walk the path again, a bright light was suddenly in front of me. I flinched back and shielded my eyes until I was able to focus on it. It looked like a halo. A floating halo that was really, really bright. For some odd reason, I didn't feel frightened. I felt protected. I tried to reached for it with one of my hands, but I wasn't able to touch it. The ground wasn't supporting me anymore. I started to fall down. I tried to grab at anything, to no avail. I looked at the halo as the ground was swallowing me up. I asked it for help and then nothing.
I woke up with my heart thumping in my chest from what happened in that strange place. There was a ceiling above me but it looked different. I wasn't able to focus on the details because of what I just experienced. I was on a bed that felt off. The covers weren't as soft and the bed didn't have the springiness. I started to look around before pressure behind my eyes made me groan. I hated getting migraines. I covered my eyes and tried to push the pressure away.
"Ah, you are awake?" Someone said next to me. I took down my hands from my eyes and there was an old man before me. He looked so familiar but I couldn't put my mind to it. My migraine was hurting way too much. Where are acetaphetamines when you need them? I groaned again and tried to push my eyeballs inside my skull. I knew it wasn't really going to do much, but it felt good. "Here, drink this." He pushed a ceramic bowl towards me. I looked at it. I really shouldn't be accepting weird drinks from even weirder old men. Still, I didn't really have nothing to lose and it could really help. So I took the drink and took a good swig. It tasted like honey and grass. I gagged and coughed but I was able to drink half of that disgusting concoction.
Strangely enough, my migraine started to lessen. I blinked away the pressure. I was able to see again and started to examine where I was. I saw the fire from the fireplace made shadows around the room, bathing the room in low light. There were bookshelves with many books that made me itch to get up and look at them. There were tapestries against the walls with designs I've never seen before. Paintings were on the walls and rugs on the floor. I noticed that my clothing was also different. A simple linen shirt and brown pants. The place looked very much like medieval times. After examining the room, I got a good look at the old man. First I was surprised at the fact that I was able to see extremely clearly without any help since I had worn contacts for years. Second, Holy Jesus! Aldous was right freaking in front of me! Aldous the man that tutored the kids at the Cousland's castle. Aldous, the one you speak to to learn of the Cousland family history. He was right there in front of me.
I thought this was a dream. A really good dream that was detailed to the t. I've had dreams like this before where I thought it wasn't a dream. I dug my nails into my other hand to see if it was a dream. It hurt. I pinched again and that hurt as well. This was no dream, this was real.
So I acted like any normal person would act in this situation: I panicked and pressed myself firmly against the bed frame, and pulled the covers to my chin. I looked around some more. The walls were made of cobblestone. The fabric that I was using as a cover, felt course to the touch. I couldn't believe it. This was a video game in my world and yet I was in it. This was Dragon Age. Freaking Dragon Age! This couldn't be happening! How could this be happening?!
"Calm down, calm down. You just had a scare that's all. Of course anyone would be scared when there were mabari hounds chasing after you." Aldous chuckled. He had the perfect abuelito voice. It calmed me down slightly.
"M-Mabari Hounds?" I squeaked.
"Yes. It was an odd sight. A young woman covered in blood, running away from hounds in the courtyard. We were able to stop them from mauling you. You were very badly hurt. May I ask your name?" Aldous said. At this point I wondered if I should give my nickname or my full name. I decided nickname. There was no way anyone could get my real name right.
"Nia." I said. The absurdity of it all came crashing down on me. I was in a video game. I wanted to pull my hair out. I wanted to rock back and forth and just keep on repeating, 'it's just a dream.' But it wasn't a dream. This was real.
"Um...can I ask a weird question?" I said, grabbing the covijas and wrapping them around me.
"Of course." Aldous said, pouring more of that sick, pasty green stuff in a smaller bowl.
"Well more like two questions. When and where am I?" I asked. He tried giving me the bowl again but I politely declined.
"Well this is the year 9:27 Dragon. You are in Highever Castle." Aldous answered. I gaped at him some more and was stupefied enough to accept the bowl of honey grass paste. I gagged again. The taste was horrendous. Aldous was kind enough to answer more of my questions.
I limped across the main gates, none of the guards were able to see me or didn't see me go through. I was a bloody mess and my clothes were in tatters. I limped through the yard when the mabaris found me. Aldous explained that I tried to run away, quietly asking for help. That's when the youngest Cousland, and future Grey Warden saved me. He told the mabaris to stand down and caught me as I fell from the blood loss. I fainted and was carried to the Cousland's healer. They took off my ruined clothing, washed me down, and healed all my injuries. Aldous told me that I suffered a lot of cuts and bruises but no broken bones. Those would have took a while to tend to. After healing me, a servant girl had dressed me and Aldous offered to look after me while the healer rested. After explaining everything, Aldous told me to get some sleep since it was late at night and he went to his own room which was just a short walk away.
So here I am, writing all of this down on a piece of parchment that I requested from Aldous. Writing with a quill and ink is difficult. I need to record all of this to make sure I'm not going completely insane.
Anyway, here's to day one and my sanity.
God Help Me.
Edited. Please Review.