Disclaimer—I do not own Harry Potter, House, or any of their respective characters. Nor, sadly, do I make any money from the posting of this fanfiction.

Hello! Hope everyone is doing well. This here is a little crossover that came to mind and wouldn't leave me alone until it was written. Needless to say it is very alternative universe for both fandoms. Enjoy!

Please read and review!

Chapter One

Dr. Greg House was a man who noticed things, but even he had to admit that a malnourished teen wearing dirty, torn clothing that was also covered in blood was hard to miss. She sat quietly staring out into space, looking far too world weary for a girl of…what? Seventeen? Eighteen? Her left arm was crudely bandaged and it needed changing from the looks of it. He went over to her and stood there until she looked straight at him.

Her face was covered in dirt and it looked far too thin. Her eyes narrowed for an instant as she judged whether he was a threat to her, he was sure. She leaned back, waiting for him to speak.

"You caught my attention," he told her to which she only arched her brow. "Let me guess, you've been in a movie and all that blood is makeup."

A man cleared his throat behind House, calling both of their attention. She stood up and stepped around him, going over to the man. He turned to see her going straight over to Dr. Patil, who if he remembered correctly was on loan from a hospital in England.

"How are they?" she asked, her voice cracking as she spoke.

"They're holding their own," he said, taking note of House. "Now let's take care of you, shall we?"

"Will they live?" she asked, sounding panicked as she inquired.

He smiled softly. "You acted quickly enough, Miss Granger. They'll live, I'm sure…" The doctor was barely able to catch her.

It had been with no ease whatsoever that House ended up kneeling on the floor next to her. Dr. Patil yelled for his nurses even as House went over and quickly turned her to her side, as it was clear that the girl was seizing. When he got a better look at her, he let out a hiss at all the cuts on her back and what looked like a clear knife wound on her chest.

"She was tortured." He looked at the doctor next to him, who was now looking at him.

"Chances are that she was," Dr. Patil answered. "Now pardon me, Dr. House, I need to take care of my patient." He looked to his nurses and another doctor that had joined them as well. "Let's get her away!"

Between all of them the managed to get her onto a gurney and away before House could even come close to asking for a hand up. That was how Dr. James Wilson found him five minutes later.

"What are you on your knees for?" Wilson asked him, almost not wanting to hear what the man had to say.

"I was thinking about asking Cuddy to marry me, but then I thought being married to my boss would be a pain in the ass…"

Waving his hands, James said, "Fine, don't tell me. But do you need a hand up?"

"I'd thought you'd never ask," House said, and took his friend's offered arm. Thinking over what he had seen, he asked, "By any chance do you know what Dr. Patil's specialty is?"

Wilson frowned, saying, "I can't say as I do. Lisa said it was highly specialized, but didn't say what it was exactly. Why?"

"Because his new patient intrigues me." He went over to the chair she had been sitting in, as he pulled out his cellphone and called Eric. "Yeah, life sucks. Get down to the first floor waiting room just outside of the clinic and bring your brothers and sister as well…" He looked over to a now very curious Wilson. "You're going to be collecting samples down here and testing them." He paused. "Because I said so." And he hung up his cell. "There are days I love being the king."

His friend only rolled his eyes and went on his way.


House knew next to nothing about the young woman. And the more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became. His staff had collected her blood, dirt samples, as well as a few mystery fluids—one of which managed to burn through the swab that had wiped it up as well as the interior glass of the container it was in. When he had seen it, he frowned and said nothing other than test it. Hours past and he was sure that the team had done the testing, but none of them had come over to tell him the results, which only made him all the more frustrated.

Finally they came over, Cutner standing in the middle of the pack with 13 looking like she was about to burst out of her own skin and Taub just looking resigned, but to what, House didn't know.

When none of them spoke, He stopped playing with his large tennis ball and snapped, "What?!"

"The soil samples, though interesting due to the fact that they could have only come from a small region of Scotland, it was the blood samples and that mystery fluid that proved to be far more so," came from Cutner, handing him the test results. "Only a small amount of the blood collected from the chair was hers. The rest belonged to no fewer than five other people."

House's lips compressed as he looked at the blood test results. "Two men and three women," he muttered, looking over the blood results.

"House," 13 said, stepping forward. "One of the men was almost completely bled dry! And on top of that, there were large traces of that same corrosive venom in the man's system."

"Venom?" he asked, not looking up.

"It's a compound that should never exist…" Taub said, only to have Cutner and 13 glaring at him.

"Doesn't mean that it couldn't be made and you know it," Cutner told him, looking over to House. "It's a compound I doubt even you've seen." Their boss looked up sharply to them. "Python, spitting cobra, and black mamba."

He sat back, looking stunned.

"It gets weirder," 13 told him. "By all accounts, it wasn't just mixed up in a lab." She leaned in closer. "There's a snake that has that as venom."

"No fucking way," House breathed, only to have 13 take the papers from him. She flipped to the test in question and pointed to the results. "That isn't just a compound, it's a DNA stamp as well. The proteins are working together to have a very fatal bite." She stood up straight.

"How do you figure that?" House asked.

"Explain the python proteins," she demanded. "The snake is an enormous beast when in the wild, but they aren't poisonous. Cobras, though large, don't have the heft of a python. And the same goes for the black mamba. But what they both have are poisons that are very deadly." Putting her hands on her hips, she said, "I think someone bred a demon snake and we are looking at remnants of its venom."

He looked back down to the test results and muttered, "What fucking nightmare did I run into?"


And there you go the first chapter is out to you. Review to let me know what you think. Thanks for reading and have an awesome day!