Hey, TIAW is back, with his seventh Psycho Trent one-shot! I know it's been a while, but I'm back. I wrote a one-shot a few days ago and I'm updating a few other things today. This fic brings back Seth, Mike's nine-hating, ten-loving personality, from another one-shot, and also introduces a new version of a beloved character: Psycho Lindsay! She's just like normal Lindsay but a little strange and likes using her attributes in strange ways. Hopefully she catches on like Psycho Trent, OOC Harold, and more already have.

Anyway, this fic is rated T for dark humor, moderate language, mild violence, and sexual humor at the end. Hopefully everyone enjoys, leave a review please. I want to know how this compares to my earlier work.

Trent was sitting on one of his nine sofas in one of his nine apartments, watching one of his nine TVs. He was currently watching some behind the scenes content of Total Drama: Revenge of the Island Episode Nine, which had the go-kart challenge and Mike conquering his personalities. The bonus content was showing some more of the dramatic conflict in Mike's head, including him running into several other of his personalities who weren't strong enough to have their own triggers and take over his brain.

Trent watched Mike run around inside his brain and smash right into an alternate version of himself. Both of them fell over and rubbed their foreheads, where they'd collided. "Ouch! Geez, you're the ninth personality I've run into already," said Mike, still obviously in pain from the unfortunate collision. Trent clapped in glee and made happy high-pitched noises because nine was mentioned. The personality, however, reacted totally differently. It shrank back in fear, falling over again. "D-did, did you just say the n-number?"

Mike looked at him funny. "What? You mean nine?"

The personality shrieked in pain and collapsed on the ground, convulsing. "DON'T SAY THAT! DON'T F**KING SAY THAT!"

Mike worriedly backed away. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, no thanks to you!" yelled the alternate Mike angrily.

"Who are you?"

"I'm one of your personalities, you moron."

"I figured that part out. I mean, what's your name, and what are you, erm, traits?"

Trent stared at the TV intently. Something strange was going on, something the number nine would likely hate, but Trent was still confused for the time being. He kept his eyes glued to the screen.

"I'm Seth," replied the personality.

"Okay, alright. What was that reaction for?"

Seth grimaced. "That n-number causes me physical pain. You see, I'm a number cultist."

"Wait, what?" asked Mike.

"You don't get it, do you? I'm Seth, I love the number ten, and I hate the number ni- - -n- - -nin- - -" he stopped, swallowed, and forced himself to say it. "I hate the number nine."

Trent's mouth fell open. He started freaking out and rolling around on the ground, screeching and moaning. Eventually he calmed down, ready to think of a plan of action. The obvious occurred to him. He would track down Mike, figure out what caused Seth to come out, then torture Seth nine times until he died. This would kill Mike as well, but you know, sometimes innocents needed to die for the number nine.

Trent did some research on the Internet until he found Mike's address. Then he drove there, broke through the front door using the power of nine, marched up to Mike's room, hit him over the head with a baseball bat, dragged his unconscious form back to the car, and drove to one of his nine torture stations hidden throughout Canada.

When Mike woke up, he was lying on a rack with his ankles tied to the bottom and his wrists tied to the top. He looked around and spotted Trent emerging from the darkness. "W-who are you?" asked the MPD teen.

"I am Trent. And I like nine. Time for you to find that out the hard way! WAHAHAHAH WAHAHAHAH WAHAHAHAH WAHAHAHAH WAHAHAHAH WAHAHAHAH WAHAHAHAH WAHAHAHAH WAHAHAHAH! Now, what caused Seth to come out? I need him for some nine-loving fun."

"Seth? What are you talking about?"

Trent smacked him. "Tell me!"

"What?! You ... you mean my personality"

"Yes I mean your personality, you bastard! TELL ME HOW TO ACTIVATE HIM!"

"Seth isn't like some of the others, he's weak! He doesn't have his own trigger!"

"LIES! I will find out myself." Trent smacked Mike again and left to sit on one of the nine chairs in the darkness. He thought for nine long hours, many revelations running through his head. Saying the number nine caused Seth physical pain, but that obviously wasn't the trigger as Trent had already said 'nine' in front of Mike. What else could it be? Well, maybe if Seth was caused a whole bunch of pain he'd come out of Mike's brain. For example, saying 'nine' nine times!

It took Trent nine hours to think of this because he's an idiot, but think of it he did. He came back out of the shadows. "Good, you're back," said Mike. "Can you untie me now? I'd like to go."

Trent didn't reply and started trying to get Seth to show up. "Nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine!" Mike inhaled sharply, and when he started talking again it was clearly Seth.

"What's your problem, causing a man pain like that, dude? Hey, why I am tied up?!"

Trent laughed and pulled a lever. The ropes of Seth/Mike's feet and hands started pulling, stretching Seth so that he would eventually be nine feet tall. Seth screamed and burst free of the ropes, running away and out of the room. Trent gave chase.

Somewhere very very near by, Lindsay was feeling strange. She'd been hearing weird noises come from her basement and chantings of "Nine!" and she'd been too scared to go down there. Suddenly, Seth burst out of her basement door, followed quickly by Trent. Lindsay screamed, as Seth ran right through her living room and stopped when he reached the wall. He turned around to face Trent, who was standing at the opposite of the living room. Lindsay was in between them. "Trent, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm here to kill this nine-hater!" yelled Trent. Seth flinched.

"You're going to kill him?" gasped Lindsay.

Trent nodded. "Isn't is great?" he asked happily.

Lindsay pouted. "Please don't kill him, Trent. He's cute!"

"NO!" yelled Trent. "He likes ten and hates nine! How can I not kill him?!"

"I won't let you," said Lindsay, stepping right in front of him, blocking Seth from his view. Seth crouched down and started to crawl away, muttering 'ten' to himself ten times.

"Well, then," growled Trent angrily. "Guess I'll have to kill you too." He charged at her, and Lindsay knew there was only one thing she could do to stop him. She ripped off her top and bra and Trent ran right into her huge cleavage. She grabbed the back of his head and forced him to stay in place. Trent screamed in terror as he couldn't breathe. He struggled mightily, but as time went on his struggles became weaker and weaker. Trent passed out, but Lindsay kept holding him in place. She dropped him from her boobs four or five minutes later. The number cultist was dead as a dog, having suffocated to death. That is how Trent, the famous nine-loving psycho, met his end.

Seth crawled back into view. "Thanks. Why'd you do that for me?"

Lindsay was putting her bra back on upside-down. I mean, she is Lindsay, directions are hard for her. She smiled at Seth. "Guess what? I like ten too!"

Well, that's the end. I hope you guys liked Psycho Lindsay and she didn't disturb you. Just so you know, Trent is only dead for the purposes of this one-shot. None of my stories or one-shots have continuity with each other unless I explicitly say so. In fact, this is like the third time I've killed Trent off, just never in such a drastic way.

Please review, and if you have any constructive criticism please put that in too, I'm seriously back in the game now and I want to know how I can improve. Thanks for reading everyone!

~TIAW Mr. Coconut Beatle