9omg i did it guys i wrote this
i'm sorry it's so bad but it nEEDED TO BE DONE
Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine; fortunately for you guys, unfortunately for me
"Yo, Denmark is actually a really awesome place, bro!" America fondly pounded his Danish tour guide on the back, making him wince just a bit. "Thanks for the great tour!"
"It's cool!" Denmark flashed him a huge grin after rubbing his back slightly, away from America's line of vision. "I love showin' off my country, after all,"
America laughed, and agreed. "Who doesn't, really?" His face them morphed into one of exhaustion. "But man, I'm beat after all that tourism,"
The Dane quirked an eyebrow. "Really? All we did in Fredericia was look at the towers and the Nordstjernen, an' then go boat riding near the fjords."
"Nooo," scoffed America. "I meant, like, all the things we did before combined made me exhausted. Tourism is no easy job, dude, I can tell you that,"
Denmark chuckled. "I take your word for it!" He started walking back to his car, America in pursuit. "So, you wanna go home or somethin'?"
His American guest shrugged. "Yeah, I'd like that. We driving back to Copenhagen, then?"
"Nah, waay too far away. I actually got another home that's like, a fifteen minute drive away."
"What are we waiting for then? I NEEDS PRECIOUS REST" America sped off towards Denmark's Zenvo ST1, which he had been bragging about incessantly when America had first arrived and hopped in to the classy white sports car. Apparently there were only fifteen of them made in existence and Denmark had gotten hold of one. It was a really sweet car, America had to admit (Denmark had blatantly refused when America asked if he could take one of the other fourteen with him), but he decided his Corvette Stingray back home was better. (This decision may or may not have been made as a stubborn result of not being able to score a cool Danish sports car.)
America got to the car a good minute minute before Denmark did, and, after realizing the doors wouldn't open because the car was locked, had taken to laying down on its hood (which was more relaxing than you might think) until Denmark forcefully pulled him off his precious car by the ear.
"So how many homes do you have here?" America asked as they set out onto the road.
Denmark thought for a bit. "Dunno, 'bout three? Four? Yeah, four,"
"Four?" America laughed. "You kidding? That's laaaame, dude, I have like over fifty!"
Denmark made a face. "Oh, shut up, your country is way bigger than mine anyway. And you have those states or whatever. Why're you wasting all your money on stupid houses?"
"It's not stupid, 'course I need a house for every state! What if I'm in Alabama for a day, can't just drive all the way to Mississippi to get home! That takes, like, three hours,"
"Ya sound like such a priss," Denmark teased. "'Like, three hours!'" he added in a horrible imitation that sounded vaguely of a certain Pole.
"Your face is such a priss!" America quickly replied, not thinking of a good comeback on the spot. As a follow up for his less than witty response, he roughly shoved his designated driver. Denmark only laughed as his hands slipped off the wheel for a moment and he narrowly missed bumping into a car.
They continued with their rowdy banter and aimless chatter for the rest of the short car ride. Just as they'd turned a curve, America yawned. "Bro, we there yet?"
"Will be in a minute!" Denmark hummed, turning his rock station up a bit louder. "Tired?
'Kinda," the younger nation admitted.
"Well, fear not, 'cause we're in the city!" Denmark drove slower near the sign. "Welcome to—"
"Pfft—hahahahaha!"
Before he could finish his sentence, America cracked up into obnoxious laughter. Denmark turned to look at him, obviously confused. "Wha—?"
"Ohmygod somEONE HOLD ME AHAHAHAHA IT'S ACTUALLY CALLED THAT HAHAHA DEN"
"The fuck're you laughing about?" Denmark blinked. Had he gone mad in a span of seconds?
Between red-faced gasps of laughter, America breathed out, "M-MIDDELFART"
"What—oh my god, America no."
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU NAMED YOUR CITY AFTER A BODILY GAS"
"SHUT UP IT'S IN DANISH OKAY"
"Is Middelfart in between Fullfart and Nofart or something LMAO"
"DON'T EVEN FUCKING—"
America failed to cease laughing at that name even after Denmark kicked him out. He laughed even harder when he learned about the amount of cheese eaten there.
OMAKE
"Ahahahahaha you named a city after me? Aww, that's so cute, America!"
"Shut up! The people of Maine did it! Not my idea, believe me!"
"I should come to Denmark, Maine more often! It's like a smaller version of me! Didn't know you admired me so much, heh,"
"I hate you,"
"Your naming a town after me says otherwise~"
"GO AWAY"
[A/N]: haha america PAYBACK
shamelessly steals the 'nofart fullfart' joke from somewhere ZENVO ST1'S FOR YOU IF YOU GUESS CORRECTLY WHERE IT'S FROM (lmao not rly but still kudos to you then)
btw had to do research on the Zenvo and the Stingray because what the hell are cars really. is the corvette stingray actually a good car tho please tell me I've not a clue
I learned about Denmark, Maine from a Poland Spring bottle what a coincidence huh
oh, oneshots under a thousand words. how i've missed you.
do drop off a review or two
~Giraffe