Last night was quite a night gladiators. We finally got our kiss …Olitz is alive and well… in celebration of the event….I am writing yet another account of the "suicide " attempt. But I think that a few thoughts went through his mind , and he possibly had a few visions from the great beyond…

Once again these characters are not mine, they are the property of ABC and Shondaland, but I am sure that quite a few of us would like to own a certain POTUS

It was the middle of the night and Mellie was having trouble sleeping. She thought she had left her tranquilizers in her husband's bathroom. She knew that he had been having trouble as well, they both had since Jerry died. Wrapped in the ratty bathrobe that she now spent most of her time in she wandered down the hall and turned on the light. What she saw when she flipped the switch, was something that she was completely unprepared for. Her husband, the President was laying on the floor lifeless. Face down, he was spread on the blue tiled floor. Beside him was an empty Baccarat glass and a pill bottle. With her chipped nail polish, she picked up the bottle and found out that the pills were left over pain killers from the assassination attempt from two years ago. Apparently, he had ingested them and probably washed it down with his beloved scotch. Dropping the pills, her hand went to her mouth as she realized Fitz had tried to kill himself.

Losing their son was bad enough, but then having to hold his lifeless body on national television added to the strife that Fitzgerald Thomas Grant had in his life. He was the most powerful man in the world , held the office of the President, yet here he was powerless in so many things. He was not able to save his son and he was not able to be the perfect husband. But the one thing that cut him to the quick is how the one person who brought any kind of happiness to him had vanished. No goodbye at all. She was gone and he had spent months trying to find her.

Mellie held his massive body in her hands and cradled it as she sobbed. She took a moment to brush a rogue hair out of her face. She looked down at his face. He had such a look of peace on it. He just had his eyes closed as if he was sleeping. His hair had a mussed look and there was stubble on his face. She had to admit , he was quite a handsome man. She just wished that things were different between them. She knew he was only staying with her out of some kind of obligation. His heart was somewhere else.

She picked up an emergency phone that was part of the landline in the bathroom. "Get me Cyrus, it's an emergency!" she turned back to the man she held. She hoped it wasn't too late , but she also cursed the one person who would help her through this mess.

"Damn you Olivia Pope," she whispered into her husband's dark hair.

Cyrus ran into the bathroom, still wearing his own bathrobe. He had left Ella downstairs with Teddy's nanny and then immediately went to where Mellie was calling from. He immediately went into crisis mode when he was confronted with this problem.

"Call a doctor, but be discreet. We can't afford for this to be leaked out . Hospital Is out of the question." He moved his fingers across his mouth as he was trying to formulate a plan. "We need to do something now. "Get ahold of Red and the VP elect. Cyrus started barking out orders ." We have to fix this before the press finds out! Get a doctor here. I just hope we aren't too late." Cyrus felt a tear forming in his eyes. He had not gotten over the death of his beloved James and now this. He also spent a while now helping his friend with his own grief. He took the handkerchief out of his suit pocket and blew his nose as he looked down at the man in his wife's arms.

"Tom," he bellowed. At a moment's notice, a tall sandy haired Secret Service agent came to his aide. He stood looking down at the First Lady cradling her husband.

"What happened ?" Tom asked puzzled

Mellie couldn't handle anymore. "My fool of a husband has just tried to kill himself. And it looks like he might have actually succeeded."

Tom put his hand to his ear and talked to his earpiece. He knew it was up to him now. He had made an oath to protect this man and now he had to do his job.

"Eagle down, repeat Eagle down.911" he stated. Within a few minutes, ambulances were speeding in the gate at the White House. They were coming in to save the President while an unaware nation slept. Only the residents and a few people were aware of the drama that was going on at 1600 Penn.

The air seemed a little more thick then he was used to It Kind of reminded him of the smog of his precious native LA. But there was something else, he looked down to see what he was wearing. It was his typical sleep clothes, a NAVY t shirt and pajama pants. His normally styled hair was a mess of curls and stubble covered his chiseled face. He looked around to see where he was, because it was obviously not the White House. No, it kind of had a ethereal feel to it. He also looked at his hands, calloused, large, and the gold band which was part of his sentence. He wanted to know where he was. He wanted to have Olivia with him, because any time he wasn't with her, it was hell. Maybe that 's where he was certainly where he felt he deserved to be.

Fitzgerald?" he heard a sweet voice say. He turned around to see a rather petite blonde woman who wore a floral printed sundress. It was a face from his past. He was still a little boy when he lost his mother. She was still the beautiful woman he remembered. She had always been so loving to him while his father tore him apart. He couldn't believe his eyes and immediately ran for her. Throwing himself into her arms, he started to cry. He was the little boy that she left so long ago and he wished every day she could talk to formed in his grey eyes and he wasn't the man , but the forgotten child.

"Oh Mommy." Fitz sobbed. "I have really made a mess. Why did you leave us and left me alone with that monster? He has made me feel bad about myself and he has tried to manipulate me into what he could never be. He made me marry a woman I didn't love and then he turned around and raped her. He is a monster." She took her manicured nails and ran them through his thick hair,"Now Fitzy, you should be proud of who you have become . My son, President of the United Sates imagine that! . " she crowed with pride.

It's all a ruse." He sputtered. "I thought I wanted that. I thought because Big Gerry wanted it for me. It's what I wanted. But Mom, all I wanted to do was help people and make a difference. I never wanted to play these power games. I wanted to be a good citizen, a good husband, and father. I have failed miserably at all of these there is nothing left for me."

"Fitzy, how can you say that? You have a beautiful and intelligent wife who has stood by you all these years . You have three beautiful children. You are a man who is well respected and important. Not many men can say that." Margaret Grant tried to make her son feel a little better. She hoped she could see why she was sent to him.

"I don't love her Mom. I never have and I have my doubts about whether any of my children are mine. Our marriage was a political union between two people . It was all part of Gerry's master plan of getting me to the White House and Melly was part of it. "

This admission bothered Margaret and she had to know before her time with him was over. "Were you ever happy son?" she asked curiously.

A smile came to his face as he remembered her. He remembered her face, her eyes, the way she laughed. The way she made him feel like a man. "Yes Mom, there is a woman. Her name is Olivia and she is a little younger , but she is brilliant, focused, and beautiful. She helped me be the kind of man that you would be proud of. You'd like her, she has a good heart and she loved me so much and I have treated her like dirt. Now she is gone . I have tried to find her, but to no avail. She has disappeared .First , I lose Jerry, then I lose her.

"But instead left them all. I abandoned Mellie, Teddy, Karen, Cyrus" Fitz admitted. "Now I am dead.I

Margaret smiled a secret smile. "Son you're not dead. You are technically dead right now, but you aren't finished , not by a long shot." She took him over to a mirror and he could see his own body as the paramedics worked on him. They pumped his stomach allowing the pills he ingested to be vomited all over the floor. Holding a stethoscope to his ear, the doctor held his limp wrist trying desperately for a pulse. An oxygen mask covered his face. Mellie knelt by the lifeless body laying her head on his chest. Cyrus bent over and held her hand.

"If I am not finished, then why am I going back. I mean now I will have a full military funeral, with the horses and the twenty gun salute. My body will lie in state in the Capitol . I will have the same kind of funeral as JFK , you know he was a hero of mine. They have always compared me to him." He smiled at the irony of that comment.

"You are destined for greatness and happiness. When you go back , Fitzgerald. Be the best President you can be . Throw yourself into your work of running the country. Be the better man. So when this Olivia comes back, she will see that you have changed and are ready to be the man she loves. She will come back . I can guarantee that. You two are two souls that deserve to be one. " His mother bent up to kiss him on the cheek and then walked away.

"I think he is coming back." The doctor said. "Mr President?"

But the voices were still distant. There was obviously more to learn.