The Dancing Skeleton p.1
When I was little I loved to dance, it was my passion, and it was almost all I did. Life was just so simple back then. No one cared about the way you looked, the things you did, your social status, the way you talked, any of that stuff, but it all changes. You grow older and find yourself in high school like me. I've heard the whispers, I've had to look at myself in the mirror each day and realize what a mistake and disappointment I am. I'm ugly, fat, and not good enough.
I woke up to my alarm beeping at me, signaling that it was time to get up for another day at school. I slammed the snooze button, and sadly got out of my nice warm bed. I slowly walked to my closet and picked out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and on my way out I grabbed a hoodie. It was spring time, but sometimes the wind would blow and I would get a little chilly. I walked to my bathroom next and started brushing my teeth, its not like I needed to eat anyways, I wasn't hungry, and I decided to just eat something later. I quickly brushed my hair and threw it into a ponytail, not really bothering to do anything really nice with it. I clomped down the steps and walked into the kitchen where my Dad was sitting.
"Morning Daddy." I said to him. He gave me a nod in response, he wasn't a morning person, and the only reason he was up this early, was because he had to get to work, being the sheriff of a town is hard sometimes I guess. I grabbed my backpack from the living room and started walking to the bus stop. I pull out my book I was reading hoping to get lost in a story once again. I was so lost in my book, I didn't notice the bus was in front of me until I heard its brakes squealing to a stop. I stand and put my book back in my bag and climb the steps into the bus of screaming teenagers. I made my way to my normal seat
The Dancing Skeleton p.2
next to my friend Emmalie. On my way I was pushed into other people, but I finally made it to my seat. It was in the middle of the bus, so the people in the back couldn't push me around more, but not in the front where anything else could happen.
"Hi Cassie!" My friend greeted me.
"Hey Em!" I responded.
"Are you feeling okay today?" She asked.
"Yeah, I guess, better than yesterday at least." I told her.
"Are you excited for practice tonight?" I instantly knew what she meant. Dance. One of my favorite things to do, and one of the best ways to take yourself to another world, and release all your emotions. I felt something hit the back of my head, and fall into my lap. It was a note,
"Why do you even bother coming to school anymore? No one cares about you, you're just a mistake that's ugly and fat, and its obvious you suck at dancing, so just give up already."
at the end I had tears in my eyes, but I held them in. It wasn't like I couldn't handle it. It's been going on for so long and I've managed to stay strong, but sometimes it just really got to me. I folded the note and put it in my backpack. Luckily Em didn't see. The bus rolled to a stop. We were finally at school. I shouldered my bag and followed Em out of the bus. School went by as slow as always, but soon enough it was time for dance practice. I went into the locker room and changed into my dance outfit. Some spandex and a tank top. When I got there everyone else was there, but we were just waiting for the teacher.
The Dancing Skeleton p.3
"Do you think we got the parts we wanted?" I asked. We were going to have a show soon and we had all practiced for certain parts and today we were going to be told if we got them or not. Then the dance teacher walked in and posted the parts on our bulletin board. Emmalie got the part that she wanted! We were doing The Little Mermaid except it would be just dancing. She had gotten Ariel, but I didn't make my part. I was just part of the ocean. I felt bad, but I couldn't really do anything about it.. We started doing routines and practicing for the show. We practiced for two hours before we were done, and when we were, we all went to locker rooms to shower off a little and change. Emmalie had to leave early though. As I was changing I heard the other girls talking.
"Its obvious why she didn't make it. She's just too fat, and she can't dance at all. Why can't she just understand that and stop trying to dance! Its going to be so embarrassing when we perform!" All the others were saying the same thing. I wiped my eyes and grabbed my bag and started to walk home. I opened the door of my empty house twenty minutes later. My dad wouldn't be back until later so I had the house to myself. I went up to my room and layed down on my bed and cried. It just wasn't fair! I can't be good at anything! I can't even do the thing I love most right! That night I let the whispers over take me.
"I will be skinny." I whispered.
"I will be skinny."Again
"I will be skinny."And again.
The Dancing Skeleton p.4
It was time to make some changes. Everyday after that I ate less and less, until I was barely eating anything. All I did after homework and school was dance, dance, and dance. I would dance until I couldn't walk anymore, and until I thought that my legs would fall off. I drank water, almost all the time. It kept me from getting hungry. No one saw and nobody noticed. The show passed, and we were going to do a new one. We all had either a solo or a duet, and I had a solo. I had lost a lot of weight and I had a very complex routine picked out. I would show them how good I was and they would see they were all wrong about me. Finally the day came and I was so excited. I got on stage and started dancing. I was doing twirls and flips and everything. When I was done I was feeling a little dizzy and lightheaded, but I still stood up and bowed for the audience, except for the fact that when I went to bow I fell and the world turned dark.
When I woke up in was in a white room, probably in a hospital I turned my head and saw my dad sitting in the chair next to me.
'Daddy?" I whispered.
"Cassie?" He whispered back happily.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You've lost a lot of weight honey, so much so, that you're severely underweight, and yo-you-your anorexic. Why Cassie? You were never fat, you were always fine and it doesn't matter. but how could you do this?" He asked me with tears in his eyes.
The Dancing Skeleton p.5
"I n-n-needed to be this way Daddy, don't you see? I needed to get b-b-better at dancing and I need to be s-s-skinny to be w-w-w-wanted by everyone else. I h-h-heard them, and their whispers. I'm s-sorry." I said hiccupping through my tears.
"Oh honey, you were always so good at dancing, I know you don't get the part last time. but that wasn't because you weren't good enough, its because your teacher thought you would be better in the part of the ocean, so the audience could feel and see how the ocean moved through you." He told me. It made sense actually I guess I just didn't see it that way. After that I started eating normally again and stopped practicing as much. It was hard getting back to the way I was before, and I relapsed and because of that I was disappointed in myself, but I continued on, I would do it. I was perfect just they way I was and I let other people control me like a puppet with their words, and I became a skeleton of my self, bending and folding the way people wanted me to, and not noticing it. As I got older I continued dancing, and I came up with a name for myself. I started speaking out to girls with anorexia and trying to help them, because I knew what they were going through, and by showing compassion and empathy I thought I could help them, and for some of them I did, but others were hard to get through to, but I didn't stop trying. I tried to give them the life they would have wanted and not have to live with these thoughts controlling them, and I tried to give them a happy ending by giving them hope, but I also understood that sometimes you just can't get a happy ending even if you try so hard, but everyone deserves a chance and I made sure I told them that. By the girls I helped, and by my own personal experience my new name that I used was The Dancing Skeleton signifying what I did and
The Dancing Skeleton p.6
what happened to me, so I would never again make the same mistakes and hurt myself again because of what people thought of me, my name may have been The Dancing Skeleton, but I , Cassandra Smith, would never again be a Skeleton, dancing to other people's music.