Disclaimer: Spooks belongs to Kudos and the BBC. I'm simply having a bit of fun with them. Best I can tell, they enjoyed themselves. :-)
A/N: Today is Peter Firth's birthday - 27 October. In honour of the day, I give you this and hope you will enjoy the story. It started out rated K and then HR always live on suggested I include 'angry make-up sex' to get past a block I was having in another story. It didn't work there but it fit just fine here, so thank you to her for the inspiration, while the big thanks goes to Peter Firth for creating the Harry Pearce we all know and love.
It's been about an hour since you stormed out of my home. You're angry about my actions earlier today and that I defended those actions when you confronted me about what I'd done.
After you slammed the door, it took me less than a minute to realize that I was wrong. It shouldn't have taken me that long, but I'm being honest and it did. You were already gone and I know you like to be alone after an argument to think about the situation and pick it apart in your head. I want to apologize so I'm writing it down to make sure I say everything I need to say, otherwise I'm sure I'll make an even bigger mess of things.
I don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry for my words and actions. I'm sorry that I was impulsive in my decision making and didn't stop to think of the consequences it would have for you, for me, for us. It's taken us too long to get here and I don't want to spend another moment at odds with you. I want to start tomorrow knowing that you know how sorry I am and I hope I can start tomorrow knowing that I have your forgiveness.
After all we've seen in this crazy world, we need a place that is safe from that madness. My actions today allowed something to breach that safe place. I made you cry and I can't forgive myself for doing that. I don't want to fight with you; I want to be able to kiss you good night. I need to make this right, and I won't sleep tonight until I do whatever you want me to; whatever you need me to do to make this right.
I love to make you laugh and I love to make you smile. I want to spend my time with you and hold you while we fall asleep. I want love, I want us, I want you, I want me, I want peace.
Please forgive me. I love you.
Ruth looked up from the handwritten letter to the man who stood before her. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his trousers and his eyes downcast, likely afraid to see her reaction.
When he'd turned up five minutes ago on her doorstep, she'd briefly considered not letting him in. Their spectacular row was still fresh in her mind and she'd spent the hour since she stormed out of his house trying to pick the argument apart; trying to understand why he'd done what he did and why she'd been so upset.
As she read his letter of apology, the reasons for their actions became clear. They'd both been stupid, plain and simple. She could see in his posture that he was terrified she would tell him to leave and never come back. He'd confided in her that after he destroyed his marriage to Jane and his relationship with Catherine and Graham, he felt he was undeserving of love. He'd tried to meet his need for companionship with random women he picked up at pubs across the city but it hadn't worked, of course. So he'd learned to live without love.
When he told her this, she cried. Not just because she hated the thought that this wonderfully gentle and caring man lying next to her felt that he was unworthy of love, but because it was something she'd felt so often in her own life. She confessed her own feelings to him and it was a turning point in their relationship that brought them closer to one another.
Ruth allowed the paper to slip from her hands as she stepped forward and stood directly in front of Harry. His head was still down so she placed a hand on each side of his face. She stroked her thumbs across his cheeks and he lifted his head just enough to look at her. The pain in his eyes brought tears to hers.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I'm the one who's sorry. You didn't do anything wrong," he said, his voice hoarse.
"We were both stupid and I'm sorry that I overreacted. I don't like fighting with you. I forgive you and I love you. Will you forgive me?"
A few tears ran down Harry's face. "You mean it? You've forgiven me?"
Ruth nodded, not trusting her voice.
Harry pulled his hands from his pockets and wrapped his arms around Ruth, pulling her tight against him. He buried his face in her neck and let the tears flow.
Ruth moved her hands, placing one on the back of his head while the other rubbed his upper back. A minute or two later the tears subsided and Harry lifted his head.
"I don't think you did anything wrong, but I'll give you my forgiveness if you want it."
Ruth smiled. "So we're both sorry and we've forgiven each other. Anything else we need to do before we move on from this?" she asked. While they were good at navigating their professional relationship on the Grid, they were still learning how to navigate their personal lives. This fight was a reminder that they still had much to learn about one another.
Harry took a deep breath. "This isn't an excuse, but you know that it's been a very long time since I've been in a relationship, and that I ruined it with my actions. I want... no, I need you to call me out on things when I'm making assumptions or doing things that annoy or anger you. Please be upfront and honest about what you expect from me and what you need me to do. Don't let my blustering put you off. I promise to take to heart what you say to me and I'll be honest with you."
Ruth reached up and kissed him, trying to convey her love and trust to him in the most personal of ways.
Harry responded in kind, so relieved that Ruth hadn't kicked him out the door after reading his letter. He wanted to spend the rest of his life making this woman happy and making her smile.
Though neither of them intended it, the kiss grew quite passionate. After Ruth's tongue began to explore his mouth, Harry backed Ruth up until she was pressed against the wall of her front entry. His hands threaded with hers and he placed them against the wall above her head, allowing the full length of his body to be pressed against hers. Through the layers of their clothing he could feel her nipples harden and his erection was nestled against her hip.
She freed her hands and reached down to his waist, pulling the shirt free from his trousers. Thankful that he wasn't wearing a vest under his shirt, her hands roamed freely over his skin before one hand moved down to grasp his bum and the other snaked between them to stroke his length.
Harry moaned at her actions as his hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs moving across the sensitive and already hard buds. She moaned at the loss of his hands as they moved down to pull her shirt free from her skirt. Once he had access to her skin he gripped the front of her shirt and pushed upwards, catching her bra with it and pulling both up and over her head before allowing them to fall behind him. He moved from kissing her to licking and nibbling on her breasts while she attempted to unbutton his shirt before moving down to his trousers.
Harry felt the cool air on his legs as the trousers dropped to his ankles. He skimmed his hands down the side of Ruth's body, pushing her skirt and knickers to the floor. He stepped back to admire the view of her naked against the wall except for a pair of socks.
"My God, you are breathtaking," he said before kneeling in front of her. He lifted one leg to rest on his shoulder, which gave him better access to her.
Ruth was certain she had died and gone to heaven. Sex with Harry had never been boring but this was something different. He stroked her folds with his thumbs and she moved her hands to his head, both to help support her and to guide him into place.
Harry shifted his hands back to her bum, pulling her hips forward just enough to fully expose her to him. His tongue swept across her and he enjoyed the whimper that came from her mouth.
He began to suckle her clitoris and Ruth started breathing in short pants as the pleasure built quickly within her. He added a few flickers of his tongue and it was only a matter of moments before she was yelling his name, this time in the throes of passion rather than anger. After the orgasm washed over her, Ruth felt her legs buckle and it was Harry's position, still on his knees in front of her, that kept her from falling to the floor.
Harry laid his head against her stomach to steady her until she was able to support herself. When he felt her stand on enter own, he stood back up, albeit slowly.
"I trust you enjoyed that? I know I certainly did," he noted with a smile.
Ruth looked up at him before moving an arm to the back of his neck and pulling him closer, allowing her to kiss him fully. One hand snaked down his body and not so gently tugged down his briefs.
"Too many clothes," she said before returning to kissing him. As the trunks moved down his legs she lifted a foot to push them down and hold them there, allowing Harry to step out of his trousers and trunks. She continued to kiss him as she undid his cuff links, dropping them to the floor. Pulling back from the kiss, she pushed the shirt from his shoulders and ensured it fell to the floor.
"Now we're even," she said as he stood before her in just his socks.
Before he could even formulate a reply she dropped to her knees and had his engorged cock in her mouth. It was his turn to go weak in the knees so he leaned forward and placed his hands on the wall, trying to brace himself. He desperately wanted to be inside her when he came, but this wasn't quite what he had in mind. He made the mistake of looking down, and the sight of Ruth's tongue stroking his length before swirling around the tip and then his entire cock being surrounded by her warm mouth and tongue was too much.
He pushed off from the wall and grasped Ruth's head to pull her back. "Ruth, I want to explode deep inside you but this wasn't exactly how I pictured it."
She smiled before kissing her way up his body, allowing her breasts to rub against him. "Where, and how, do you want me?" she whispered before returning her attention to kissing his body.
Harry moaned again, hoping he could last long enough to bring Ruth to another orgasm. Gripping her hands, he walked backwards through the doorway into her sitting room, pulling her with him. He stopped in front of her sofa and maneuvered her so that she was kneeling on it, facing the back. He kneeled behind her and wrapped one arm around her, resting his hand on her breast.
Ruth felt him plant a kiss between her shoulder blades as his other hand guided his cock to her entrance. He stroked her slowly until she thought she'd burst from the sensation.
"Harry, please," she begged.
"What do you want? I'll do whatever you want; I'd do anything for you," he panted into her ear. His fingers pinched and stroked her nipple while he continued to stroke her folds with his cock. He knew he was getting her worked up and he loved to see her in this state.
Ruth could barely think, much less remember her name. "Just fuck me, now. Make me see stars," she moaned. The pleasure she was feeling was torture of the best kind.
Harry chuckled at her blunt language before obliging her request, thrusting powerfully into her without warning. Ruth dropped her upper body to the back of the sofa, which pushed her hips back and gave Harry even better access. While his one hand continued to fondle her nipple the other moved around to brush across her clitoris while he continued to thrust his entire length into her.
Just as she asked, she was starting to see stars as her breaths became increasingly short and then the orgasm hit her. Her body tensed and a scream escaped from her throat.
Harry felt her muscles tighten around him and he knew he was next. The sensation pushed him over the edge and he moaned loudly before collapsing against Ruth, pinning her against the back of the sofa. After a minute, their heavy breaths subsided and he moved to raise himself off of her.
"Don't go," she asked.
"I'm not, just need to move us to a more comfortable position," he said before wrapping his arms around her and moving to lay on the sofa. He reached up and pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa, covering them as best he could.
"Are you comfortable?" he asked.
"Mmm, yes," she replied as she snuggled into him. "Harry?"
"I don't like fighting with you, but that sex was amazing. Promise me we can do that again without the fight," she said.
Harry smiled and kissed her shoulder. "I promise," he said, "and definitely without the fighting. It's time for peace."
A/N: The title of this story and a line from Harry's apology letter were borrowed from the O.A.R. song "Peace." No copyright infringement intended.