Hey, all! Back from a brief (four-year) hiatus. Sadly, I haven't had much time to keep up with any fandoms except for the Marvel fandom recently, but since I finished the Harry Potter series last month, I figured I'd update this fic with a new job offer.
(Also because I've been applying for jobs lately, so this format feels pretty familiar right now.)
Now Hiring: Death Eaters
Hungry for death? (Other people's, not yours.) Good!
Take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join Lord Voldemort's army.
Pay: How about not dying? Getting to sit at the table with the cool people? Not good enough? Okay, well, we'll think of something. Maybe a silver hand or something like that...
Required Skills: Not being a mudblood (okay, not really a skill, but definitely a requirement). Duplicity and betrayal. Expert in the dark arts. Placed in Slytherin House while at Hogwarts (again, not a skill, but we can't accept just anyone, after all).
Preferred Skills: Killing Dumbledore (actually harder than it sounds). Abusing Hogwarts students. Sinister planking in mid-air above Dumbledore's coffin. Idk, anything that looks cool works for us, really.
Activities include: Mainly trying to kill Harry Potter, but also spying on Hogwarts, infiltrating Hogwarts, and outright attacking Hogwarts (idk, Voldemort has some kind of Hogwarts fetish).
Dress code: Strictly the blackest shades of black, except for casual Fridays when slightly lighter shades of black may be worn. Tattoos and piercings required (specifically a death-eater tattoo on the inner forearm). Nose optional.