The Twilight Twenty-Five: Round Nine, a challenge
Summary: A rose isn't a rose without its thorns. One cannot be perfect without imperfection. Twenty-five stories written for Round 9 of The Twilight Twenty-Five Challenge.
Warning: Varying ratings for each piece Genre: Drama/Romance/Angst/Hurt/Comfort Pairing: Various pairings
Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga or its characters.
Author's Note: For Round Nine, we were asked to settle for one Twilight character who would be the central subject of each of our 25 stories, which shouldn't relate, in any way, to one another. I chose Rosalie, for her personality is closest to my own.
Pieces can be either 100 words exactly, 300-500 words, or 1000 plus words. Okay, the first prompt is 'Ancient,' and to tell you guys the truth, this one's quite depressing. Skip it if you don't wanna feel your soul withering away like a dying flower.
The Twilight Twenty-Five
thetwilight25 dot com
Prompt: #1 – Ancient
Main Character: Rosalie
Word Count: 1704
Nothing. Once again, empty. Frozen. Still. Lifeless. Never moving forward. Stuck.
How long have I been alive? How long has it been? Since when have I been feeling this way? Hopeless. Nothing to look forward to.
After my niece finally reached her "adulthood," got married to Jacob and had their children who were either half-vampire and half-human or half-wolf and half-human, there was not much in my life anymore to be excited about. Sick and tired of having to repeat school all over again, I stayed at home while my siblings continued to uphold this charade.
Dragging along with time, I fell into a routine of endless days and infinite nights.
Upon hearing his voice, I shut my eyes and swallowed. Another question of "Are you all right?" will make me want to throw the vanity mirror out through the balcony.
I knew he was hesitant. I haven't been myself for months. I was in a state of relaxed boredom, but at the same time, in restless unrest. My world became a whole cycle of contradictions.
"Rose, baby, please…"
I knew I was hurting him by this treatment of silence, but I couldn't dare to bring myself to speak, for I knew the words that would come out of my mouth would just hurt him all the more.
He couldn't understand what was happening to me, what was changing within me. How could he, when even I couldn't understand what I was going through? This feeling of senselessness, this feeling of hollowness I was carrying within me was slowly starting to eat away at my consciousness.
From my medical studies, I knew the medical word for it, but it just seemed implausible to think of. Could vampires actually feel this way?
"Rosalie, you already know what I'm going to say… You yourself came to me with that in mind."
"So I really am… depressed?"
I blinked in slight surprise, but even that fact couldn't invoke a strong emotion out of me. Everything in my life was plain mediocre and just… there. It just was. I made no big deal out of anything anymore.
"Carlisle, it just seems ludicrous."
"Kitty, you're displaying all the symptoms a human being would. You haven't even hunted for over a week."
"I just… no longer see the reason to it."
"Don't you feel thirsty at all?"
I paused to think it through. Sure, I could feel the back of my throat burning, but there no longer was a hurried need or urge to quell that necessity.
"Now that's a lie, Rosalie."
"I just don't feel like hunting…"
I wanted to cry. But being this cursed creature, I couldn't. My frustration at this fact showed as I kept thrashing our room almost every day. My family was worried, I knew. But I couldn't care less.
He was inching closer to where I was standing, right beside the door to the balcony, looking out past the tree tops of the woods. This was how I spent my days. Just staring blankly at nothing. Waiting for nothing in particular. Desperate to escape, somehow. Wanting to leave everything behind. I just never did. For the futile expectation that something would change. But I was so tired of waiting already.
Days passed, weeks, months. It's almost been a year since I've fallen into this zombie-like state.
I knew I was hurting him the most, but it's not like I intended any of this.
At first, every time I felt down, whenever he'd approach me, I'd smile for him. But I couldn't keep doing so to the whole family after a month. I grew sick and tired of the pretense. Everyone knew how I was feeling, but none of them really understood. They were all still so content with life.
Esme would never find anything wrong with life, she never complained. Carlisle would never be dissatisfied for he had a job that enabled him to help humans. After all this years, he still was repenting for what he was.
Alice and Jasper until now were still in their own world, where happiness never escaped them, for having found each other was the best thing to cure their oppression – Jasper from Maria's dominance; Alice from her parents and the townspeople – during their younger years.
Edward and Bella, still as in love as before, were still enjoying the life of sex that they both never experienced during their human years. And there was always joyful news for them every time Renesmee would announce that she's pregnant yet again.
My Emmett always found a way to have fun. It was part of who he was. And so, living was a gift to him, for every day presented an opportunity to have fun.
As for me… Even though I had Emmett, he was still just half of my happiness. Every child my niece brought into the world kept reinforcing the one truth I hated to admit to myself.
My longing, my frustration… Too painful to bear. Too painful to talk about.
Everyone asked what I was thinking, but I couldn't speak. I had so many thoughts, and yet, my brain felt like it was blank. Empty.
As empty as my womb would ever be…
I wanted to run until I couldn't any longer, wanted to fall off a cliff, stab myself, set myself on fire. I wanted to just feel something. For nothing was left in me. Nothing. Complete desolation inside of me.
Time passed by so slowly, and at times, when I'd stare at the grandfather clock in the hallway, it would mock me by taking forever to finish a minute.
I was desperate for a change, for something new, something different.
Emmett and I had just recently married again, but even that lost its appeal to me, though I never said it aloud to my husband…
Sex was still amazing. He could fuck me the entire night and we even went so far as doing it the entire day. But after the wave of pleasure, the shadow of darkness would envelop me in its entrapping veil of sorrow.
I'd hide and shrivel, turning away from the arms of my husband, turning to my own cold arms that held nothing but pity for my wretched state of utter melancholy.
"Rosalie…" His voice was pleading, imploring, begging.
I am so sorry, Emmett…
Lifting my hands up, I covered my face, too ashamed for making him go through this hell, too ashamed to make him see me this way… pathetic.
His steps were so quiet, almost gentle. I could hear him coming closer still, until finally, I felt his arms around me. Every time he gifted me his embrace, I felt like a child. Sobbing dry tears, I leant my head against his shoulder and reveled in his scent. The scent I would so miss…
Minutes that took forever to end were wasted away as I wallowed in my misery. My husband's strong hands gave me comfort, but didn't wash away the feeling of despondency that was clinging onto me.
After a while, I finally spoke. "I think I should stay for a while at Isle Esme…"
I could feel relief flooding through my husband's body as he released tension from it by exhaling at the sound of my voice.
"You don't want me to come with you?"
"Mm-mm, I need some time to myself… Time to think… without anyone around me…"
"Well, love, whenever you need me, just call. I'll be there in a minute."
"I know you will, Emmett…"
As a farewell, I told him those three words that suddenly became so hard to say.
"I love you…"
I already knew my final destination wasn't Isle Esme at all, but I kept my thoughts focused on the island, for fear of Alice keeping track of my plans.
As soon as I got to the house at Isle Esme, I wrote the letters while keeping my thoughts on swimming, exploring the forest, taking a hike – to keep Alice from worrying. I knew she'd be keeping Emmett on the loop as to what I would be doing.
Hurrying, I rushed away from the island and changed my thoughts to traveling. I spent several days in Spain, about three days in England, until I finally arrived in Italy. Hopefully Alice wasn't making a connection yet as to what my real plans were.
"It seems we have a visitor…" Caius' cold, heartless voice glimmered with excitement at the sight of me with Demitri and Felix by my side.
"Ah, the beauty of the Cullen clan!" Aro exclaimed with delight. "It is a pleasure to be graced with your presence. What can we help you with today?"
Without hesitating, for I had no time to waste, I answered swiftly, "I wish for my end."
At that, Marcus gave me a glance, and from the corner of his lips, I could almost see a smile forming there. Not an evil smirk, but a smile that almost seemed like he understood my intentions and my reasons. Why wouldn't he? He also longed for what I was seeking, after all…
"Ah, my dear… What would the Cullens say?"
"They have nothing to say about this. This is my decision."
I knew from that shrillness in her voice that Alice had just seen something I knew would not be good news.
"Go to the Volturi! NOW!"
That – I didn't expect. Anything but that.
Dropping everything, I went past her, knowing the whole family would be on my tails soon enough.
Why, Rosalie? Why would you want to leave? Why would you want to leave me?
Goodbye, Emmett… My love, my life… My half…
I was only half-way there, when I felt a part of me die. I knew, at that moment, that I had lost her. I abruptly stopped in my tracks, as I lost the feeling of the energy of her life. I felt the whole world shift. The air changed. The sun shone less. The sky darkened. Something was different. And from then on, my life would be different.
I was alone. She had left me… all alone.
My mate… for eternity… was now gone from my life… forever.