more of this shit...

FUCK ALL OF YOU I NEED ALCOHOL TO CREATE MY MUSE

SOME ALCOHOL HAS BEEN CONSUMED, I SHALL NOW ATTEMPT TO CREATE GREATNESS

CH 2 FAGS

So remember how I told you Miss Bitch knew where I lived? I should have moved, straight up I should have thrown all my shit in my truck that fucking night

and bailed. I should have called the cops and the rangers, told my room mates, and gotten the fuck out. But I didn't and boy did that turn out to be a mistake.

If you're wondering how she knew where I lived it was because being one of her drivers I had to fill out all of this bullshit paperwork saying I wouldn't sue her if I got hurt in a wreck, and somewhere in all that trash was my address and other contact information.

So anyway the day after I got all my stitches removed from where that fucking psycho clawed my chest off she decided to come pay me a visit. I'm sitting

on the couch watching some stupid shit on the TV and picking at the scabs on my chest because I got bored as fuck. BOOM BOOM BOOM, some asshole was punching

my fucking door. I run over to see who the hell this fucker was and when I looked through the peephole my fucking heart fell out of my stomach. I see Her

standing at my door trying to look all cute and innocent with that hands behind the back chest out ass out looking at the ground like I'm embarassed stance.

She almost pulled it off execpt for two little details: one; her eyes were staring directly at the peephole instead of at the ground like the rest of her

head, and two: shes a fucking psychopathic rapist manpegging elitist bitch. "WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE!?" Raced through my mind the moment I saw her,

then "Shit maybe if I am really quiet she will think nobodies home." So I turn around and start to creep away, "Billy I know you're in there, I heard you run to the door and saw the change in light behind the peephole." quiet as fuck "oh fuck me". "And I know it's you because I already went into the parking

lot and found your truck..." the only thing I could think to do was mutter "sonofabitch" and then "GO AWAY!" At this point im thinking "what the fuck" you know? She never calls me Billy, it was always Bill or William, and she hadn't even swore once I mean the bitch talks like a fucking sailor. Honestly she's worse than me.

"Billy I really need to talk to you." "NO, I'm not having sex with you again!" At this point I was fucking trembling, there is a good reason why I call her Miss Bitch. I have seen her beat the fuck out of a guy for telling her no, fire dudes for the tiniest mistake, cuss out customers, and now rape a man

with a homemade pvc strapon. "Even though that was fun Billy thats not why I'm here, you were one of my best employees and it really hurt me when you quit." "Bullshit! Iv'e seen you fire faster drivers over the smallest things." I start digging in my pockets to find my phone to call the cops. What do you

know the motherfucker isnt there. I run over to the landline and when I picked it up and there wasn't a fucking thing to be heard. "Oh but Billy you're special, and don't bother with calling the cops. I broke into your car while you were at the doctor's today and grabbed your phone, and then I cut the landline." "WHAT THE FUCK WOMAN!, GIVE ME MY DAMN PHONE BACK!" "Well you have to let me in before I can give you your phone." Now I was more pissed than scared. "Fuck fine, just wait a minute and I'll open the damn door." I turned and stomped off to get my shotgun from my room. "Billy you know guns don't scare me." I stopped midstride, thinking "what the fuck how does she know what I'm doing from outside" She let out one of those little giggles I had heard the last time I saw her and said "Oh Billy I just know you that well, besides there's not much that I miss." Well that was certainly true, her attention to detail was fucking legendary, in three years of working for her, I had never seen her fuck up a pizza or let someone get away with half assing something. She could spot the tiniest crumb in the most obscure corner of the store that someone had missed while sweeping. She always let them know too.

"Well it makes me feel better so get the fuck over it! And stop calling me Billy It's fucking weird." I continued stomping off to my room. When I got there I reached under my bed and pulled out a black nylon case. Inside of it was an old winchester 1200, with a long tube magazine and a barrel that had been sawed off to just above the legal length. I picked it up for 160$ at a hole in the wall gunstore on the edge of town, I cut the barrel and put the long tube on myself. Then I grabbed a box of No. 5 birdshot, how fitting right? Slapped a shell in the hole, slammed the slide forward, and stuffed 7 more in the tube. Some people will argue that birdshot doesn't have enough knockdown power to kill a man, or in this case a pokemon. But at the ranges that you find inside of a house that shit will go through 4 inches of solid oak boards but wont overpenetrate the way 00 buck will. I made sure my knife was in my pocket and stomped back to the front of the house.

"I'm opening the door." I warned, then unlocked the deadbolt and the knob but left the chain lock in place. Click goes the saftey and then the door opens just enough to see her. "Give me my fucking phone!" I demanded. "Not so fast Billy we have lots to discuss, and the moment I give you your phone you're going to shut this door in my face. So are you going to let me in or not?" "Like hell we do!" "Oh in that case I guess I just got a free phone, quite a nice one too, the Samsay Universe 6." I kinda growled at that, I mean shit I was still paying off that phone, fucking thing was expensive as fuck. Contemplating whether a phone was really worth the risk of whatever tricks she had under her feathers I finally made my decision. If she tried any funny business I'd just blast her feathery bitchy ass back out on the steps.

"Fine you can come in, dont fuck with me though!" I opened the door all the way and made sure she saw all 12 guages of shotgun barrel pointed at her tits. Surprisingly she somewhat looked like her feelings had been hurt. "Billy you saw what happened to the last guy who tried to hurt-" "I don't give a shit, you scare the fuck out of me, and this isn't a fucking pokeball!" I backed into the living room with my weapon trained on her the whole time, slowly sitting on the couch I gestured to a plush chair across the room with my gun. She took the hint and sat down and crossed her legs and leaned back into the seat seeming completley at ease with the fact that a sketched out wired human was pointing a shotgun at her. "So can I have my phone back yet?"

"Billy why are you being so rude to me? Have I really done anything to deserve this kind of treatment?"

My jaw hit the fucking floor. To this day I have never heard anything so audacious as that question.

"YOU RAPED A MAN IN FRONT OF ME WITH A SPIKEY PVC STRAPON, AND THEN YOU RAPED ME!" Taking a breath I continued in a more sedate tone. "You left my chest in tatters, you made me give you a felcher, and now you stalked me, broke into my truck to steal my phone, and cut my landline so I couldn't call the cops! As a matter of fact I just got the stitches out of my chest from where you dug quarter inch trenches in me with your fucking claws. You haven't exactly done right by me in the last few days, good to go?" "Well if thats how you feel I guess we dont have much to discuss." She stood up and pulled my phone out from somewhere in her feathers and tossed it at me. I stood up and fumbled trying to catch the damn thing and that turned out to be my undoing.

"Big mistake motherfucker!" I look up and that bitch is a foot away from me and the next thing I know she grabs my gun and shoves it away from her and a vicious right handed uppercut slams into my jaw. I could hear my teeth clack together and taste blood as I bit my tongue and wieghtlessness as my feet left the ground. I hit the ground hard with the back of my head slamming into the coffe table, a groan and I blink later I see her standing over me with a feral

look in her eyes. Instinctually pulling the trigger my 12 guage spake and said unto the wall "Die Motherfucker Die!". My hearing gone and my vision fuzzy I barely manage to make out her pulling one of those black pokeballs from her feathers and then a flash of red and nothingness.

SCENE CHANGE MOTHERFUCKER PS I LOVE PBR

I awoke to find myself inside of that fucking nest with my hands and feet tied. "Oh fuck me, this is fucking bullshit!" I could hear the sounds of the pizza place operating below me. Just then I noticed how bad my head hurt. It felt like some asshole was driving a redhot piece of rebar into my eyes, fuck that shit. I tried to wriggle out of my restraints but the knots wouldn't budge, however I managed to stand up. Looking around I noticed that fucking padlock on

door. At the time It didn't occur to me that she managed to somehow get out of the room while locking it from the inside. Checking all my pockets I found that they were all completely empty, no knife, no lighter, NO FUCKING CIGARETTES! "That bitch, nobody takes my fucking smokes!" Then I remembered where I was and who was pissed at me and I started to get scared, real fucking scared. "Oh fuck dude, this isn't good" I mumbled to myself. I sat down and contemplated my options, which werent many. I could: one, stay up and worry and eventually work myself up so much that I would be an incoherent mess whenever this shit came to a head. Or I could try to sleep through this shit and get some rest and be ready to face her when she came back. See normally No. 3 would be in there somewhere involving me pulling some redneck shit to break out of this prison but that fucking lock was a military lock that needs,a fucking acetylene torch to cut through. There were no sharp objects or windows either, so I was kinda screwed. I ended up going with No. 2 as that was the only truly rational choice at that point. Surprisingly I passed out much easier than I expected considering the massive goosegg and probably fractured jaw, along with all the prickly ass pinestraw poking me in the back.

W000T IM KINDA DRUNK AGIAN GIVE ME REVIEWS ASSHOLES I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS IS GOOD OR NOT, EVEN A "FUCK YOU AND DIE" WOULD BE NICE LOLOLOL.

I ALSO LOVE COPENHAGEN STRAIGHT AND GUNS but for real, I tend to get better ideas when im kinda drunk and proofread the next day, so plz tell meh about my

shit. srry for the review whoring. not really

The next time I woke up because I felt something really hot and soft laying all over me and a rough hand like thing pressed over my mouth. I open my eyes and see Her laying on me covering my mouth. "mmmph plee dun ray meh!" She adjusted herself so I was looking right into those freaky blue and yellow eyes and the tip of her beak was touching the end of my nose.

"So Billy-" I suddenly noticed another hand lightly gripping the inside of my thigh, and my eyes got huge real quick. "The way I see it, you have two choices." The hand started moving up my leg "We can have some fun and then talk about why you have been so mean to me and your future employment," Her hand was now real close to the family jewels and slowly rubbing in circles and lightly squeezing my thigh. "Or I can have some fun and use this on you."

She took her hand off my mouth and grabbed The Pipedick from somewhere above my head and slowly dragged it down my face and across my lips. I shivered even while blankented by her heat and I'm pretty sure my eyes got even wider. "Well which one is it Billy Boy? Fun for us or fun for me?" As she kept stroking my face with that fucking thing. Suddenly her other hand grabbed my junk and started lightly squeezing it. Honestly? I groaned just a bit, that felt good as fuck. With a slight stutter I said: "The first one definitely, anything but that fucker." A small giggle issued from her maw as she kept groping me. Sweet Baby Jesus she was good at that too. "Awwww you dont like my toy?" She purred "What about this one?" She reached up and grabbed a normal strapon, leaving The Pipedick laying on my cheek, then she pushed the other strapon between my lips but I locked my teeth down. "Well do you like it? Answer me!" she snarled and gripped my nuts hard enough to hurt. I had no choice,

"No-ghhshheosjopei" That fucking thing went down in my mouth and I gagged on it.

"Awww Billy you look so cute like that!" she cooed and I almost puked. Thankfully she pulled that shit out before I decided to chew it in half, then giggled and said "Maybe later!" Then she sat up and started rubbing my chest, she definitely knew how to do a deep muscle massage. "Later like hell" I thought, "how about never" I didn't voice this sentiment due to the high likelyhood of her proving me wrong in the most unpleasant of ways.

"Can you at least untie me now?"

"Oh no Billy that would ruin all the fun! I just love seeing you so helpless." I gulped and thought of how likely I was going to die here. As suddenly as it began the chest massage ended and she sat on my face. Normally I have fantasies about hot girls doing that, not my insane pokemon ex boss. I knew what she wanted and gladly obliged, pokepussy or not, it was still a nice one and surprisingly tasted decent so I went to town on that fucker. If eating a pussy was all I had to do to keep my asshole intact I'd do that shit every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Starting out basic I licked from where her asshole should have been all the way to her clit, and kept doing that for a bit. She started to relax and put more of her wieght on my face. Looking down at me from between her tits she said "Oh I like this view Billy I like it alot, It's almost like you belong down there." Another psychotic giggle, and then she

reached back and continued groping my shit. I figured it was time to up the ante and clamped my lips down on her clit and beat the shit out of it with my tongue. Like I went Rocky on that fucker. Her Bitchiness started moaning and saying shit like "Oh yeah Billy lick that pussy!" I almost stopped, like what the fuck? Did this just turn into a cheap porno? Some of her juice got in my mouth and I almost choked, that shit tasted like tobasco, like holy fuck!

I mean really just because she's a fire type does she seriously have to taste like hot sauce? Fuck it was like drinking microwaved Tobasco. I just went with it and continued my assault on her clit, she got louder and next thing I know, those massive muscular thighs clamped down on my head so hard it hurt.

"MMMPHPHMM" I grunted into her pussy from the pain. Her response was to shout in ecstasy and grip my face harder. "HOLY SHIT BILL DO THAT SOME MORE!"

Fuck it... Why not... "MMMMMPHFFGHEERGEPROPSFJO" Then I opened my mouth and slipped my tongue up inside and let my raspy vocal cords do some work.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFGGHREERG" Then I had a somewhat brilliant idea; I started cussing her out with her pussy in my mouth. "FFFFFUUUUUUUUHHH YYYYOOUUUUU,

YYYYYOOOOOUUUUU GGGGHUUUUUDUUUUM WWWWWHHHHHHHUUUUUURRRR! She didn't seem to understand me or she just didnt give a shit so I continued. "IIIII HHHOOOOFFEE

UUUUUUU FFFFUUUUUUHHHHIIIIIGGGG DDDDDDIIIIIIEEEE IIIIIMMMMM AAAAAAAA FFFFUUUUUUUHHHHIIIIMGGGGG HHHOOOOOOOLEEEE UUUUUUUMMMMMMHHHEEEERRREEEE IM HEEEEEEL!

She finally seemed to take notice, "Thats not nice Billy but I like it when you talk dirty so pleeeeaaaaase do contin- AAAAAUUUUUHGGHH!" I got tired of

hearing her run her mouth so I stuffed my tongue as far as it would go and curled that fucker over and while she didn't exactly shut up she wasn't talking anymore, good enough for me anyway. The unintended side effect to that was her legs clamping even harder on my face. "Fucking shit she's gonna crush me if I don't make her cum soon!" ran through my head at light speed. So I made her cum. Reaching up behind her with my bound hands I got a double handfull of her hair mane thing, and pulled that shit down. Her face and her pitch rose to the ceiling while I flailed my tongue around and screamed some random shit into her cooch. Then I thought Arceus grabbed my head with a vise while I got a mouthful of microwaved Tobasco. Seriously I think she cracked my skull in the throes of her orgasm. When she reached the her peak she just kinda tensed up all over and fell over like she was having a siezure, and I rolled the otherway and spit all her juice out in the nest and started feeling my head for cracks and deformations.

"Oh Bill that was so Fucking good! Holy shit we are gonna do that again later!" "Yeah if I have a fucking helmet next time." I mumbled into the pinestraw, still massaging my head. "Oh quit being a pussy!" Was her oh so eloquent response as she smacked my ass and started dragging me face down to her by my belt. "What the hell are you doing?!" "It's my turn boy! Now shut the hell up and roll over."

Oh fuck. I am about to get head from a creature with a six inch hooked beak. Fuck My Life. She sliced my belt off with her sharp ass talons. "What the fuck! Iv'e had that belt forever" She just continued and moved onto my pants and started cutting them off me. "Are you fucking serious? Those pants are fucking expensive!" "Well I don't know how to take them off of you the right way and you're tied up so this is the best way." "No, cut that shit out!" "Gladly" RIIIIIIP. Well there went the only pair of jeans I was ever willing to spend $40 on. She rolled me over so I was on my back and split my boxers right down the middle. That felt good though, I had been pitching one hell of a tent for the last half hour, and

and my little soldier was certainly standing at attention. "Ohhhh yes just what I have been looking for. And just the way I like it too," She leaned over me and got up in my face "Real meaty and full of blood" was purred into my ear in a husky voice. "Oh fuck! Oh shit! Shes gonna eat my dick! Like literally ea-" My train of thought was broken when a hard beak pressed up agains my lips and a long serpentine tongue invaded my mouth. Knowing no barriers she violated my face and explored every corner of my mouth, and that thing was so long she even stuck it down my throat a bit... Laying there with saucer sized eyes I had to fight to resist the temptation to bite down as hard as possible. She would probably eat my face in retaliation, so I just took it like a bitch and let her explore and wander around my mouth. Until she started moaning and snaked her hands around my head and pulled me in closer. Next thing I know there is 3 inches of pointy ass beak crammed in my mouth, and that was just 4 inches too much. I started sputtering and trying to turn away but she just held on tighter and kept going at it. By now I could feel her tongue going up into my sinuses and writhing around like some parasitic worm. I started grunting and thrashing around, I even bit down on her beak a bit, anything to get that shit to end. But only succeded in making her drive in deeper. After an eternity she finally seemed to have enough pulling out just enough to lay her beak on my chin. While I gasped for air she slowly started moving away, dragging her tongue across me the whole time. Down my neck and across my chest, over my belly button and finally down to my junk. My cock had lost all rigidity due to the complete unsexiness of what had just transpired in my mouth, but when her maw opened and decended upon me it nearly ran away. Talk about instant shrinkage.

"Billy is your dick scared of me?"

"YES! You're about to rip it off and literally eat it, arent you?"

"No silly!" Her face took on a playful expression as she tickled my balls. I died inside a little. "I only do that to people I dont like, and I reeeaaally like you my sexy human." My heart stopped and I stared at her with wide eyes and a slack jaw. "When did I become HER human?" The fact that she actually does that shit to people doesn't even surprise me, but now she is taking possesion of me. Fuck no.

She giggled and started licking my nuts and gently stretching my meat out from its condensed form. Once long enough she wrapped her hand around and started slowly pulling it back and forth. Her tongue started roaming elswhere, onto my thighs and shaft and then down to a place where a tongue shouldn't go. She looked me in the eye right as this happened and I nearly passed out. I ended up laying my head back and staring at the ceiling and pretended I was somewhere else. I barely noticed as my dick got hard again, as she got on and rode me some more, or even when she dug her claws into my shoulders drawing blood yet again. I barely even grunted when she finally made me blow my load, and when she collapsed on top of me and promptly passed out while we were still connected. I just closed my eyes and thought about better things until I finally succumbed to the void.