So I had this dumb idea in my head for a fucking while now, so here it is. Basically, it's Spain, Romano, and their 2p selves having sex. Yeah. Interestingly enough, I didn't include selfcest. No reason why, I just wasn't feeling it?

If you didn't know already, 2p!Romano is named Flavio and 2p!Spain is Santiago. I'm gonna be using them just to make it easier, so Spain and Romano won't have their human names. Because unless it's a human AU, I don't really like to use them.

So enjoy this smutty bullshit!


Romano stared at the stranger before him. No, that wasn't quite right, he knew this person, more than he was willing to admit. Because no matter how he looked at it this flamboyant, blond moron was him.

It was all that tea bastard England's fault. Stupid jerk and his stupid magic bullshit. He summoned the nations of the world from a parallel universe, and he had no idea how to reverse it. So now all the nations were stuck with them, and though Romano had heard how awful some were (England's, for example, was a cannibalistic psychopath with a fixation to cupcakes) his was definitely the worst.

"Dio, what are you wearing?" screeched his blond counterpart, poking and prodding his khaki uniform. "I get that you're supposed to be me, but I wouldn't be caught dead in these atrocities, hon."

Romano growled, shoving him away. "Sorry I'm practical and don't spend millions on designer clothes, jerk."

This was accurate. The other Romano was wearing an expensive suit, his sunglasses and scarf looking the same. He chuckled, crossing his arms. "You're so snappy. It's adorable!"

"You don't deserve to be called South Italy..."

"That's fine then! Call me Flavio!" chirped the nation. He quickly explained, when Romano gave him a look, "I've always liked human names, so I gave all of the nations one! Sometimes I call them that instead of their actual names, which gets confusing most of the time..."

"Whatever! I don't care," Romano barked, huffing. "You're so fucking annoying. I'd rather spend time with anyone else but you. Even the potato bastard. Even Spain! "

Flavio's fuchsia eyes lit up, and he wrapped an arm around his other self. "Spain, hmm? What's yours like? My Santiago- that's the name I gave him- is so..." A dreamy sigh was all that was given, making Romano fidget.

"Well mine is a fucking idiota. He's always smiling and laughing and eating tomatoes. He's a pervert, too," Romano grumbled. Flavio raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow.

"So he's the opposite of you, minus the tomatoes part? I don't know what's wrong with you, he sounds great." There was a pause between them, Romano not knowing how to reply and Flavio thinking about something

Finally, a question was asked, "Do you two have sex as well?"

Romano yelped, pulling away from his counterpart. His face was a bright red, and if a certain nation was here he would say it resembled a tomato. " we...what?"

Flavio rolled his eyes, sighing. "Did I stutter? Ah, no, you were the one who did that."

"Why would we...that's...he practically raised me you know!"

The blond yawned, seemingly bored with this answer. "And? Do you think that stops me and Santiago? Now, I know we're very different, but I can tell you're lying. So, have you?"

Romano sputtered a few more times, before squeaking out, "Sí."

Flavio smiled smugly, patting the other's shoulder. "There. Was that so hard? So give me the details. How many times? Or was it so many you can't even guess?"


Flavio blinked, unimpressed. "But they were really hot, wild, amazing times, right?"

"No, uh...we were both drunk on the occasions," Romano admitted, and jumped as Flavio gasped dramatically.

"That's it? That'! That is inaccettabile!" whined Flavio, poking his other self hard on the cheek. "I will not let my own self live on without knowing how amazing sex is! Especially when he has Spain!"

Romano glared at him, highly embarrassed by this whole conversation. "So what do you want to do? Show me a presentation or something?"

Flavio pondered for a minute, then grinned devilishly. "Oh no," he said sweetly, "I'm not one for teaching in such a lazy way."

He grabbed Romano, beginning to drag him out the door and ignoring his cries of protest. "I enjoy hands-on lessons."


When he heard the knock on the door, Spain was all too happy to have the excuse to get away from his parallel self. He was definitely...skillful, if anything. But he was so stoic and rude, it was hard to believe that was really supposed to be him.

Spain opened the door, his mood lifting when he saw who was on the other side. "Hola, Romano! Oh...and Romano's counterpart!" The other Romano was blond and smiley, so different from his own little tomato.

"Ciao! Ah, you're so cute!" Flavio squealed, stepping forward and kissing both of Spain's cheeks. "And your face is smooth! So different from my Santiago's!"

"Santiago...?" Spain questioned, baffled. He looked at Romano for an explanation, and the Italian didn't disappoint him.

"He uses human names. He's Flavio, and your other half is Santiago. It's stupid, I know," Romano spat, and Spain chuckled. It wasn't that stupid, but he expected no less from his grumpy love.

Flavio giggled flirtatiously, latching onto Spain's arm. "Would you please escort us to my Spain? Me and my counterpart have something to discuss with you two. Don't we, Romano?"

The southern part of Italy flushed in response, mumbling a tiny "yeah". Surprisingly, he latched onto Spain's other arm, which made Flavio hum in approval. Spain, instead of inquiring why Romano was unusually affection, simply took the two Italians to his sitting room, where his other self was lounging.

"Santiago!" Flavio let go of Spain's arm, jumping on the stoic man's lap and peppering his scarred face with kisses. Santiago scowled, trying to push the excited nation away with no success.

Spain chuckled, sitting on the other side of the two. Romano reluctantly sat next to him. "Your Romano is so affection. I wish mine was like that sometimes."

Flavio perked up, turning around to face Spain. "That's what I'm here for, hon! To help you two out a little bit." He winked, and Spain frowned in confusion.

"Huh? What does he mean, Romano?" But his own Italian wouldn't answer, only covered his face with both hands.

Flavio, however, was happy to elaborate, "You see, Romano told me you two haven't had any memorable, amazing sex like me and Santiago. So, I've decided that we will swap! I'll show Spain a good time and Santiago will do the same with Romano! Good idea, isn't it? That way, both of you will know what to do!"

Spain's mouth dropped open, and he glanced at Romano. "You agreed to this? I mean, you'd be the last person to-"

"Shut up!" Romano groaned, his face still covered.

Flavio chuckled, taking off his scarf. "My Santiago will be all for it. We only need your consent, Spain. I promise there won't be any strings attached. So what do you say?"

Spain looked from his very embarrassed Romano to the very enthusiastic Flavio. It wouldn't be cheating...because he would still be doing it with Romano, technically. Besides, everyone was okay with it, so..."Alright. But only just for tonight."

Flavio clapped his hands together, sighing happily. "Good. C'mere, Romano, get acquainted with Santiago while I get friendly with Spagna, okay?"

Shockingly, Romano obeyed. It seemed like his stubborn nature was forgotten in the whole mess. Flavio straddled Spain without hesitation, while it took Romano a few skeptical seconds to sit in the other Spain's lap.

Flavio offered Spain a sultry grin, leaning closer and brushing his lips against the other's ear, making him shiver. "I'm Romano, so don't treat me like I'm not. Just close your eyes, and imagine it's him doing it, okay hon?"

The Spaniard nodded, shutting his eyes slowly. Before he knew it, lips crashed against his and he was engaged in a sloppy, sickeningly sweet kiss. It was so unlike the shy pecks Romano gave him, didn't feel like kissing someone else. It tasted like Romano, just with a little more spice.

The original Romano watched, awed at how easy his parallel version made it looked. Santiago ran a calloused hand through his hair, and took a hold of his curl without warning. Romano practically turned into goo, gripping this stoic version of Spain and pulling him closer. He heard Santiago whisper, in a voice that was so similar to his Spain's, yet not at the same time, "Sensitive, just like his. I wonder if you're really as much of a puta." Romano felt a hot tongue drag across the shell of his ear, and moaned much loudly than he would have liked.

Flavio wasted no time in shedding his clothes, seemingly not caring about getting them wrinkled despite his immaculate style. He grabbed Spain's hand, pulling toward the curl in his own hair. It was identical to Romano's, except it was blond. "Touch me there. It's just like his," he breathed, and Spain obeyed. He tugged on the erogenous curl lightly, his face heating up as Flavio whined and rubbed against him. He kissed down the other's neck, still imagining his Romano being the one in pleasure.

Fortunately, the other Romano was feeling very pleasured, in the strangest of ways. Santiago wasn't one for kisses; he much preferred biting. His whole neck was being marked up with bright red bruises that would soon be purple. The entire world would know he belonged to the nation of Spain. Maybe not the Spain he knew, but him nonetheless. Santiago commanded in a low voice, "Strip." and Romano was all too quick to obey. He wanted to be roughed up, more than he was willing to admit.

Flavio was quick to unzip Spain's trousers, kisses shared the entire time. He liked to please, that was obvious, but was his Romano really the same? Romano usually liked to be spoiled rather than do the spoiling, but maybe during sex it was all different. It had been centuries since Spain was with someone he actually cared about. He was pulled out of these thoughts when Flavio's hand brushed against the front of his briefs. Spain gasped, grabbing onto the curl for dear life. He heard the blond moan, and the rubbing got harder. Fuck, it was good.

Romano didn't even notice when Santiago pinned him to the couch. He had been focused on the noises his own Spain was making. It was like music, heavenly. The Spaniard above him, annoyed from the lack of attention he was getting, started to bite and lick Romano's pert nipples. Romano arched his back, groaning out a slew of swears in his mother language. He wanted this hot, seizing mouth somewhere a little lower, but Santiago obviously had a different idea. "I hear that you talk back a lot, mocoso. Perhaps we could make a better use of that little mouth, ?"

What Santiago had planned, Flavio was already one step ahead. He had desperately shoved Spain's briefs off, awing at the cock before him. He slowly wrapped his hands around it, giving it a few skilled pumps that Spain clearly approved of. He wasted no time, taking it into his mouth and moving down until it hit the back of his throat. The cry he heard could rival an angel's, and he quickly bobbed his head up and down. He stopped a few minutes later, huffing and looking up at the bewildered nation. "Spain, honey, the shyness is cute and all but could you please fuck my mouth? Grazie." Spain was all too happy to obey, and when he looked over at his own Romano, it fueled him to rock his hips more.

Romano, little Catholic South Italy, was clumsily sucking off his parallel Spain. It looked almost painful, with Santiago practically kneeling on his torso, but God was it erotic. The inexperienced nation was trying his hardest to get in as much as he could without choking or biting down. It didn't help that Santiago was smirking and giving him orders like, "Suck harder" or "Less teeth, puta". This shouldn't have been turning the southern part of Italy on, yet he was still furiously jerking himself off as his mouth worked ferociously. This was so fucked up.

Flavio released Spain's dick with a soft pop, and laughed when he saw Romano. "Imagining his mouth on you instead, Spagna? there something else you want from him?" Flavio climbed back on his lap, his delicate fingers reaching behind him to do something Spain couldn't see. "I'm not as, ngh, tight as that one probably is. But...I'm sure you'll, ah, enjoy it nonetheless." Spain's mind clicked with realization. Flavio was actually fingering himself. The nation sputtered, trying to reply, but Flavio's rich laughter stopped him. "So cute. Santiago, amore, remember to prepare him. They don't do this as much as we do," Flavio called out to his Spain, who grunted in response. Without hesitation or a proper warning, he slowly sat onto Spain's cock, a short whine escaping as it entered him. "Now fuck me like I'm yours," he whispered, and it begun.

Romano decided Flavio was lucky, for three rough fingers shoved inside him probably didn't feel as overwhelming as it did to Romano. Santiago was relentless, not stopping even when the Italian squirmed and winced. Aside from a small smirk, his face was blank. He just wanted to get this over with, he wasn't as skilled a teacher as his South Italian lover. Once he assumed that Romano was good enough, he flipped him onto his hands and knees and simply thrusted his sizable dick into Romano. The nation screamed, digging his nails into the leather couch cushions. It hurt so fucking much in the best fucking way. Was this normal, or was he just a secret masochist?

Spain couldn't even be worried about his own Romano, because this one was bouncing on his cock like it was nothing. For a guy with experience, Flavio was so loud, mumbling dirty things beneath his breath that would make even a porn star blush. His nails were digging into Spain's shoulder, and the few kisses shared between them were pure tongue. It was dirty, it was passionate, it was fucking amazing. The way they clung to each other and how fast his hips kept pushing into Flavio- up and down, up and down, up and down...

The pain does subside, Romano had to admit, and the pleasure comes soon. In this case, the pleasure was spreading throughout his entire body as Santiago fucked him hard. He was so very cold and mean, whispering the dirtiest things into Romano's ear, ones that would make him cry if he wasn't in such a position. His hips kept rocking into him, in their oh so hypnotic way- back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...

The room was filled with just sounds from the two pairs. Spain's heavy pants, Romano's screams of ecstasy, Flavio's mewls, and Santiago's grunts. All too soon for the original nations, it stopped.

"Eh?" Spain's eyes widened as Flavio climbed off of him, knees trembling slightly. "What's wrong? I still need to finish."

"Then finish, hon," purred Flavio, his voice surprisingly stable after such a pounding. "Not inside of me, though."

Spain was confused, until Santiago stepped away from Romano, who whined at the loss. It was obvious what Flavio wanted, and Spain nearly ran to his Romano, replacing Santiago's dick with his own. Romano gasped, pushing against the tanned body behind him. "Spain..."

"Use what you two learned," urged Flavio eagerly, his hand pumping his and Santiago's erections. "Call it a pop quiz, if you will."

The two were in action before Flavio could complete his sentence. Their bodies moving against each other desperately, both trying to get off while enjoying each other at the same time.

"Ti amo," Romano whimpered, burying his face in his arm. "Ti amo così, il mio amore prezioso."

"Oh, Romano. Yo también te quiero," Spain responded lovingly, kissing his beloved nation's curl. They were fucking and making love, all in the same. It was awful. It was beautiful.

"Why don't you talk to me like that, Santiago?" Flavio whispered, pouting at his own Spaniard.

"Shut up, idiota molesta," Santiago growled, pulling the blond into a hard kiss. Well, in a way, they were pretty beautiful too. It was a great night. Well, at the moment it was.


Morning arrived, and Romano awoke sore and filthy. It took him a second to remember, and his face flushed with embarrassment. He had sex with Spain's counterpart. Then him and Spain had sex. Three times in a fucking row. The idiot was still asleep, Romano couldn't wait to beat him up later for that.

He grabbed his wrinkled clothes, putting them back on. Weird, his parallel self was no where to be found. He then spotted a pink note on the table and picked it up. It was written in red, with hearts and such all over. It read:

Dear Lovino (that's the human name I gave you, isn't it cute?),

Buongiorno! I hope you slept okay! You and Spain did it a looot last night, so I wouldn't be surprised if you sleep all day!

Before I wrote this, me and Santiago got a text from Oliver (AKA our England) saying he discovered a way back to our dimension! Isn't that great?

Last night was tons of fun. Your Spain is a pretty good fuck, don't let him go so easily! Hehe, I'm just teasing. You two were saying such sappy things last night, I doubt you'll be breaking up ever!

So have fun, have sex, and have a better fucking fashion sense.

Hugs and kisses,

South Italy Romano (Flavio Vargas)

P.S. You two got an A+! Professor approves ;)

Romano immediately crumpled up the letter, grimacing. Thank the Lord those freaks were gone. Hopefully England wouldn't be stupid enough to try a spell like that again. Still, he guessed they helped a little bit...

No, fuck it, he wasn't going to be grateful. He only allowed what happened last night because of...pressure. Yeah, peer pressure, that was it. Before Romano could think up any more excuses for what happened, two strong arms wrapped around his chest.

"Buenas días, Romano," Spain crooned into his ear happily. Asshole, how dare he act like everything was totally normal?

"Hmmph. They went back to their universe, you know," Romano said bluntly, tossing the paper before Spain could read it. The other nation only shrugged, pulling him closer.

"That's too bad. I wanted to thank them," Spain said nonchalantly, earning a smack in the face from his very embarrassed lover.

"Idiota! We have nothing to thank them for!" snapped Romano, mortified at the mere thought of thanking those two. Ugh. He felt nauseous just thinking of it.

Spain chuckled, nuzzling Romano's neck. "Really? I don't know, Roma, I doubt you would've done that yourself..."

Romano simply let out a quiet 'hmmph', earning another giggle from Spain.

"So cute. Do you want to eat?" Spain might have been clueless, but he knew food was only thing Romano would always accept from him, even when he was angry.


"Then what do you want to do after?"

Silence. It was pretty obvious what else they were going to do that day. Three times was nice and all, but the two had just realized how perfect the other was. They needed much more practice.

Spain flicked Romano's curl. "Te amo, Romano."

"Chigiiiii...bastard! Don't touch it now!"

Perhaps, Romano thought as the two headed to the kitchen, hand in hand, a little bit of help was necessary with these things.


Happy Halloween! There is nothing spookier than me trying to write good smut.