AN: For those who don't know, I'm a HUGE Psych fan. Just as much as I am a GF fan. It's just that Psych has such complicated plots, I don't think that in my three months of fanfiction writing that I'm ready for that yet. So I give you… a one shot about Shawn's sophomore year of high school. Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Psych.
It was his second year of high school, and Gus had gotten into a fancy academy across town and wouldn't be joining him. He honestly had no idea how he'd make it through the rest of high school without his best friend. Sure, he was charismatic, and sure, he could make friends fairly easily. But no one understood him like Gus did. And he never truly understood anyone like he did Gus, despite knowing their intimate secrets due to his "gift." And Shawn had found all throughout his life that he made enemies just as quickly as he did friends.
Deciding that he should at least try to make some more friends- he never really needed them before since Gus was always with him, willingly or not- Shawn's lightning-quick mind reeled through all the things people said he could improve in himself. His mind went through a lot of times when people told him he should just shut up. There were even more times when people were uncomfortable with him demonstrating his knowledge of the intimate details in their lives. However, being told to stop being so annoying was even more commonly being said to him in his 15 years.
Shawn never liked conformity. He thought it was idiotic how people felt the need to be exactly the same as everyone else. But in this case, he just didn't see how else he could live through the next three years. Being hated was one of his least favorite things; the thought of everyone being upset at him was just terrifying. His parents had started to fight recently too, and he almost didn't feel the energy to be different anymore.
So he thought. Anytime he wanted to talk, he thought. Let his eidetic memory take him to a memory to distract himself. He still remembered everything that was happening in the present, and as long as he thought of it, he could recall conversations other people had and lectures teachers gave, and he always aced every test, even if he looked spacey in class. People weren't angry at him anymore. They didn't call him annoying, or too loud, or creepy. He used the same strategy when his parents fought, just zoned out until it was over.
He thought of happy times. He remembered his good times with Gus- both from their childhood and from the few times a year Gus visited home and Shawn spent the whole time he was home with him watching their favorite movies and playing their favorite video games. He remembered the times his family was acting like a real family: no fighting, no training. Then again what is real? These were the questions Shawn would think up in his head and spend an entire day thinking through- because hey, it was better than being disliked.
Anything was better than being disliked, in Shawn's opinion. Despite his parents' fighting, the teen still had an innocence about him. An innocence that wanted to please everyone- and believed he could. He still had yet to give up on pleasing his father- that would come later.
This went on for a while. This fear of displeasing people went on almost all throughout Shawn's sophomore year of high school. But….
But at the end of the year, Shawn was starting to crave attention again; attention to someone that wasn't a figment of his imagination- but it wasn't really his imagination; these people were real, just not where or when he was- and he started feeling lonely.
Well, lonelier than before. So Shawn started talking to his peers again, quietly- very, very quietly- with the utmost caution. He talked almost delicately- rehearsing every word he spoke a thousand times over before it even left his mouth to check for anything that might make someone unhappy with him. Over Shawn's silent year, his fear of rejection had grown, having multiplied many times, and it was only the fact that his parents couldn't talk to him without starting a fight with the other anymore that made him talk to his classmates at all.
He was ignored. Shawn's now almost-whisper-like voice was flat out ignored. Maybe they just didn't hear him, or maybe they had forgotten he was even there. Maybe his classmates had started a conspiracy against him! Ok, so that one was a little farfetched, but Shawn's overactive mind still legitimately considered it.
To him, being ignored was just as bad as being rejected. He kept talking to people though, hoping with all his heart that they just might hear him and not be mad- he had enough anger at home with his parents. They still didn't hear him, and he started to feel absolutely miserable at school; he tried and failed and tried and failed again, each time getting slightly- but only slightly, even he didn't notice the subconscious volume change his voice was gradually making- louder in his endeavors.
These admittedly pathetic attempts at gaining attention went on for a month. Each day he would get louder, talk more, or laugh at just one more joke. Each day he would daydream just a little less than the day before. But it still wouldn't work! Shawn almost felt that he was losing his sanity with how invisible he felt most of the time. Multiple times a day he would check his back to make absolute sure he wasn't wearing some invisibility cloak.
Then, one day he snapped. He just couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out of the vicious cycle of being constantly ignored that he had found himself in. He didn't snap in a bad way, however. He just snapped back to the way he was before, suddenly and somewhat painfully.
He started talking loudly again. Bounding everywhere. Coming up with crazy nicknames for everyone- and I mean everyone. He was noticed again. Some people hated him; in fact most did. But some enjoyed his unique personality and outlook on life. He made a few close friends, and, unknown to Shawn, Gus would decide to quit the academy after that year and would move back that summer. The people who liked Shawn for who he was balance out those who didn't. And it was WAYYYY better than being ignored- Shawn's words not mine.
It was a week after Shawn reverted back to normal, and that day, Shawn promised himself something. He promised himself that he would never be quiet again. If people disliked him, so be it. And if they liked him, that was great. Either way he would be himself.
Shawn Spencer would never be ignorable again.
AN: Hope you enjoyed! If I ever write another Psych fanfic, please note I will never do slash, and will rarely do a pairing at all- I just don't like writing romance. Sorry if that's what you like. Anyways, that's all I've got. PLEASE LEAVE A RATING… IT WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY SUPERCALIFREDGELISTICEXPIALADOCIOUS! (Did I spell that right? Did I use that correctly? I don't know)