Hi all,

This is my first SVU fic and it takes place around season 14, give or take a bit.

Trigger warning; rape and other mature themes - Will give warning at each chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of it's characters (However Meredith is mine), nor am I making any kind of profit from this.

Enjoy and please review!

The street lights fluttered on beneath the window of where Meredith Rollins stood, leant against the wall, staring out of the tiny window her bedroom offered. She watched a couple walk down the side walk, hand in hand. She hated the city, the towering skyscrapers, the dark alley's and the never ending noise.

She hadn't warmed up to the idea of New York since they'd arrived from Atlanta a year ago. She'd begged her mom to let her stay with her grandparents, and all that had come from it were raised voices and slammed doors. Eventually Meredith had come out of her room, forced a smile on her face and told her that she'd love to come.

New York really wasn't much different from Atlanta, and Amanda had taken every opportunity to point out the similarities when they arrived, but it just wasn't the same. Meredith couldn't remember the last time she'd brought it up. They'd moved, and that was that. The teenager had learnt to grit her teeth and deal with it.

It just wasn't the same for Meredith. She missed spending the weekends at her grandparents, and seeing the animals at the ranch down the road from them. She'd always had so much fun the times that her Aunt Kim had been around but Amanda had kept her away from her at every chance possible, even if Kim had been there. Christmas and birthdays had really been the only time Meredith had seen her, but as always, Amanda had kept her within arms reach. As she'd gotten older Meredith had heard the conversations, the comments and she'd slowly begun to understand why her mother had been so protective of her.

School was something that Meredith loved in Atlanta and she had a group of friends that seemed like the type who'd be there through everything and anything. They got on well, and had many cherished memories between them. She'd always been a good friend; kind and compassionate. Meredith had honestly believed that they liked her for her she was. Then she'd said she was leaving, and they all ran in the other direction. None of them had bid her goodbye, that being one of the only things that had made leaving easier.

The 16 year old blinked then, snapping out of her nostalgic daydream and moved over to where her phone was plugged in, charging. Checking the time, she realized it was getting later and hurried to her wardrobe, needing to find something to wear.

She settled on a pair of tights, a dark navy skirt and a loose fitting white tee shirt, a pair of heeled boots on her feet. Her phone flashed, with the site of a new text and she shook her head as she saw who it was from, the guy she'd fell for the moment she'd walked in to her History class for the first time at school, Zak. Of course, as everything else in her life it hadn't quite worked out and things had ended rather brutally between them a few months ago. She'd managed to keep it under the radar, and thankfully her mother had never found out about it. Unlocking it, she read through and scoffed at the latest excuse for what he'd done.

"You cheating bastard" She muttered under her breath. Sitting on her bed she let out a sigh as she reached for her bag, making sure her wallet and keys were inside. She threw her phone in before standing and making her way over to the door way,

"Mom I'm going out tonight." She called, and heard footsteps approach.

The blonde haired detective gave her a smile. Although she didn't really approve of her daughter walking through the streets of New York alone in the dark, she knew it was one of the things she had to let her do. The poor girl had really struggled with the move, and she'd struggled even more with making friends. Keeping her cooped up in their apartment wasn't the way forward and time and time again Meredith had told her that she only had to walk for 15 minutes tops, and endure a 20 minute train ride. Amanda had done her fair share of stupid things as a teenager, and she knew that if she held the teenager back from doing the safer things that she wanted to do, she'd only find a way to do it behind her back.

"Where to hon?" She asked and Meredith grinned, picking up her leather jacket and pulling it on.

"Just Ainsley's." She replied, looking at herself in the mirror one last time before facing her mother who was leaning against the doorframe.

"Just Ainsley's?" Always so many questions with Amanda.

"Well and the rest of our study group, you met them that time you insisted on driving me? It's cool, okay Mom. She just got some beers and a stack of movies. Nothing bad is gonna happen." She moved past her into the living area of their small, but homey apartment.

"I don't want you drinking too much, and be home by 11, okay?"

Meredith just nodded, She didn't really like drinking as it was and she knew her mom's overprotectiveness was only down to the horrors she saw at work, the numbers men had done to countless women, time and time again. The streets of New York could be dangerous at night, and Amanda hadn't really held back in making sure Meredith knew that, even though the teenager had protested, saying that she already knew how 'bloody awful' they were.

She loved her all the same.

"Yeah, I promise." She finally said with a smile, moving back over to hug her,

After a moment, she let out a giggle. "Mom, I can't breathe." She felt her mom smile into the top of her head before releasing her.

"Love you, Mere."

"Love you too Mom. Don't wait up for me." Even saying it, she knew she'd arrive home to her watching re runs of Friends. It was one of the things that the two loved. They often spent a quiet night at home on the couch a bowl of popcorn on the table and their dog, Frannie, curled up on the floor in front of them. It seemed stupid now that she thought about it, but it was one of the things that helped Meredith agree to moving, New York didn't look nearly so bad on Friends as it did in the stories she heard.

"See you later kiddo, ring if ya need me." Meredith nodded and gave a small smile, walking over to the door. She gave one last glance over her shoulder before making her way out and down the hall to the elevator.


It was cold out, and the light wind cut right through her tights and leather jacket. She gave a huff, and quickened her pace towards the entrance to the train station.

Reaching it 5 minutes later, she hurried down the steps, glad for some shelter from the chilled evening. The station was pretty empty, with only a small amount of people around. One man was pacing back and forth, yelling into his phone and a couple of lovebirds were sat on one of the benches, latched to one another. Meredith rolled her eyes before making her way to stand closer to the edge.

She didn't have to wait very long as she heard the train approaching, and she pulled her phone out of her bag as she moved into the warmth. A girl, with bright blue hair shoved past her, just about knocking her down as she left. Meredith gave a grunt as she was pushed. By the time she'd turned to face the door however, the girl was nearly out of site, running across the station her hair billowing out behind her.

"Bitch." She muttered under her breath, shaking her head as she took her pick of seats. As she settled, the train lurched forward and Meredith unlocked her phone, resisting the urge to give a deep sigh and eye roll at the text she'd just received from her mom.

"Be safe, love ya x" It said, simple, but to the point. Meredith loved her mother but sometimes she could be a bit over the top.

Forcing herself to reply back, she typed in a cheesy message, finished it off with a 'x' and pressed send. She didn't receive one back, and she soon became intent at passing the current level she was stuck on in her game of Candy Crush.

Ainsley's apartment was only a train ride and short walk away from hers, and she hopped up as she sensed the train coming to a stop, holding on to the back of the seat. The doors opened with a hiss, and Meredith hurried out, having not seen one of her good friends for a couple of days.

Ainsley was one of the smartest girls at school. Science, math, English. She could pretty much do it all. Meredith, while she tried hard and still got decent grades, just couldn't compete with her. The two girls meeting had been a funny story really. Meredith had been hiding in the corner of the library one lunch, cramming for the chemistry quiz they were having and Ainsley had come across her just about in tears. The petite red head had sat down with her for half an hour, going over the basics of what they'd learnt during the last couple of classes.

Meredith had passed the quiz with flying colors, and ever since then, they'd been pretty good friends, the blonde was just glad she'd had someone to call a friend. While she was charismatic and polite to everyone she came across, she'd been laughed at for her southern accent and looks.

The two had started up a small study group not long after meeting and they'd met up every Tuesday night since, as well as seeing each other every day at school. All 8 of them had recently passed their English papers with the top mark available, and to celebrate they were having a girls night at Ainsley's, complete with a cringe worthy romance film that Carla was bringing.

Reaching the apartment building, Meredith frowned as she thought she heard loud music coming from inside. Hoping it wasn't the floor she was going to, she quickly pulled open the door and made her way inside, moving over to the elevator, calling out to the person inside to hold it.

She gave a smile of thanks as she got in, going to press the button to the 7th floor. Noticing it was already lit up she turned to face the other person and paused, trying to remember the apartment caretakers name.

"Holden, right?" She asked, and he gave her a smile.

"Yes ma'am." Nodding. She smiled back.

"Not Ainsley Peter's apartment I hope." She sighed and he gave a half nod.

"Noise complaint." Slightly annoyed at the group of girls she turned to face the doors. As it came to a halt she rushed off, a bad mood beginning to form. She stopped and turned, sensing Holden behind her.

"Give me ten?" She gave a hopeful smile and he gave a wave of his hand.

"Sure thing missy, if the music's toned down I won't bother you lot." He told her.

"Thanks a heap!" She called as he turned to wander back to the elevator.

Another frown crossed her face as he didn't reply, but she quickly shrugged it off and focused on the door down the end of the hall.

Trying to keep herself calm, she strode towards it, and as she reached it, she went to knock, before letting her hand fall on the door knob. Turning it, she pushed open the door to a sight that made her want walk right back out. The music was turned up to the max, the room smelt like smoke and every single person was holding cups of jack.

A/N: I wasn't actually planning on uploading this for a while, but I felt that I wanted to hear some opinions on it.

I know that this chapter is a little boring, but I'll have chapter 2 up in the next few days

Don't forget to favorite, alert and review (: Let me know your thoughts!

Do you guys like Meredith so far?