disclaimer: disclaimed.
dedication: to les, who enables me.
notes: I CAN'T GET THIS STUPID IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD CHRIST
notes2: Kaori is Suigetsu and Karin's sprog.

title: stay positive
summary: It was only day three. — Konohamaru, Sarada, Bolt, Kaori.

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"What did I do to deserve this."

It wasn't a question.

The three genin standing in front of him where the progeny of some of Konoha's most influential people, but that didn't mean they weren't shitty brats. Case in point: the Hokage's only son was currently tied to a stump in the middle of a practise field, and his two teammates were eating their lunches without a single passing thought to the boy trapped between them.

Moral of the story?

His team were completely shitty brats.

Konohamaru pinched the bridge of his nose. He should have expected something like this. Aburame-sensei took a sick, twisted joy in assigning him the worst teams possible—and hell, somewhere Hatake-sama was probably snickering into his porn. He had something to do it, absolutely.

This was punishment for something Konohamaru had done as a child, he could just feel it.

"Sarada-chaaaaaan!"

"Shut up, Bolt, if you'd just done what I told you, we wouldn't be in this situation," one of the girls said. Her hair was dark, cut short and choppy, and she was always pushing her glasses up her nose. She was nibbling delicately at a rice ball, a short katana set neatly in its sheath at her side.

"Give him a break, he's stupid," yawned his third student. She grinned, mouth full of shark teeth, long cotton candy hair brushing at her cheek. She flicked a little dirt off her skirt. "S'not his fault he can't get it together."

The former was Uchiha Sarada, a titan in miniature. The latter was Hozuki Kaori, exactly the same.

In retrospect, Konohamaru would realize that they had been running the show the entire time.

"Guys, I'm hungry," Bolt moaned.

"Deal with it," Kaori grinned again before digging those awful teeth of herd into her bento. Konohamaru tried to mitigate the wince, and failed spectacularly.

"This doesn't look like teamwork," he said, mostly because he couldn't help himself. This test was all about teamwork, and his team was just not working.

"It's not supposed to, Konohamaru-sensei," Sarada said matter-of factly, with an imperious little shake of her head. "Until he apologizes, he's not getting fed."

"Have mercy—"

"Zip it, Bolt!"

He watched the three of them squabble like the children they were for a few more minutes. He wasn't going to tell them how to win. He wasn't going to tell them anything at all.

Instead, he pulled a book out of his vest and settled down to get some well-deserved reading done.

This lasted all of ten seconds. Ten blissful seconds.

"SENSEI! THEY'RE TEASING ME—"

Gods above, they were going to be the death of him. He put the book back in his vest—there was something to be said for Jiraiya's writing at work, no wonder Hatake-sama was always carting them around—and heaved himself up from the tree to survey his team.

There was food and snot everywhere.

It was horrible.

Sarada and Kaori grinned evil twin grins, cheerfully unrepentant. Bolt whined, not so cheerful, not so unrepentant.

Konohamaru sighed.

It was only day three.

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fin.

notes3: this might turn into a dumb little drabble series because Konohamaru having to deal with Team 7's offspring is legit my favourite thing.