Hey Hunger Games readers, this is my first fanfiction in HGS and going from my point of view of what I think should have happened (we're entitled to our own ideas of what if?) . If Peeta didn't feel anything for Katniss and Katniss loses the will for everything. This is my story, so my way. We all have the rights to create any story we want without being bashed for it. Yes, I have read and seen the movies so I'll be combining both. Happy reading and NO FLAMES!

Copyright belongs to Suzanne Collins.

All Around Me by Flyleaf copyright belongs to the band.

I feel so broken. I have never felt so alone until now. Sure we (all the Districts) have fought, died, and survived after the war against Capital not to mention of me murdering District thirteen President Alma Coin and the sudden death of President Coriolanus Snow. Everything's back to normal, I guess. My mother lives in District Four. Effie still lives at the new and improved Capitol. Gale took a job in the Government and distraught after Prim's death but he visits every now and then. Haymitch lives back here in District Twelve, drunk off his ass with boozes and coming over to visit everyday to make sure I'm still alive. Peeta has his episodes from the hijacked, one day he's the Peeta I know from childhood and fell in love with from the kiss at the beach of the Quarter Quell, and another day he tries to kill me wanting me dead. Annie has Finnick Jr., Johanna, pretending the War and the Hunger Games never happened.

As for me, I'm in a war with myself; debating if I should still living in misery or be at peace by ending my life to join my loved ones in heaven. What do I have to live for? Nothing. I don't think Peeta will think of me anything but a mutt. Without Prim, I'm nobody. I'm tired of being in pain, hello to peace.

I look around my bedroom being so dull, so dead. I force myself to get up and walking out of my room going towards Prim's room. The pain comes back at me with full speed reliving the memory again.


I looked around seeing children being lined up at President Snow's mansion and was completely confused.

"Why would he put children in front of the Manson? All lined up like a protecting shield." I asked myself as I walked around every corner and by the front door someone caught my attention.

I'm taking a few steps forward and getting a gimps of a preteen blonde aiding a young child. It took me a second to realize it, it was Prim.

"Prim. Prim!" I yelled as I ran towards her ignoring Gale's ordering her to come back. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me.

"Katniss! Katniss!" Prim yelled being scared as she runs down the steps reaching her hands out to her older sister.

I held my hand out in return to hold my sister hand and without notice a bomb went off that separated between my Primrose and myself.

A few hours later….

The memory played out in my head and Prim came to my thought. I heard her scream for a split again before I blacked out. I opened my eyes to a bright light adjusting my eyesight again then turned my head to the left seeing an IV needle in my arm. My eyes travels seeing Gale with tears in his eyes.

"Gale, where's Prim? Is she alright?" I asked wanting to know my sister's condition.

My best friend and hunting partner bit his bottom lip trying to stop his tears but couldn't then shakes his head.

"I'm so sorry Katniss, I'm so beyond sorry. I didn't see her coming." He answered with a broken voice.

I shake my head. I didn't want to believe him.

"No. No, No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs for now losing someone that I loved dear into my heart, little duck, baby sister, and best friend was dead. I screamed for her and my pain I have in my heart and felt everything was burning now in my skin.

Flashback Ends

I fell to my knees as I cried my heart and soul out. I scream out loud and didn't give a damn if Haymitch or Peeta hears me. I started beating the floor with my fist multiple times until my knuckles where there was blood and pain in my hands. I got up and started kicking the vanity to the other side of the room with all my might. I powerwalked to her bed then flipped the mattress down to the ground and seeing a flower vase. I picked up and threw it against the window. I looked around the room to see what else I can destroy in the house.

My hands are searching for you

My arms are outstretched towards you

I feel you on my fingertips

My tongue dances behind my lips for you

I see an umbrella by the door way, I walk towards it and holding the handle in my hands. I raced from my sister's room into punching holes against the walls, going downstairs hitting the walls as I came down, and breaking the umbrella in half throwing one half at the front door and the other half in the living room breaking a lamp.

This fire rising through my being

Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I walked towards the kitchen and going through the cabinets.

"Where is it, where are they?" I asked myself out loud dropping spices and cans fall to the ground and seeing two glass bottles of vodka and whiskey. I grabbed the two of them and walking towards the front door where I always put my game bag. I shoved the alcohol bottles in there then putting the sling of my game bag across my shoulder and leaving my house purposely leaving the door open. I don't give a damn anymore who steals anything from me anymore.

I turned my head to left and looked at the ground by the steps. My stomach just dropped to the ground then having tears welding up again in my eyes; I see a bush of Primroses. Pain and anger rose into my soul and the only person I know what do this was Peeta. I grabbed a garden bush tearing it from the roots and marching towards his house and throwing angrily them on his porch.

"Goodbye Peeta, I'll miss you. I love you." I thought in my mind as ran from the Victor's village into deep into the woods.

I traveled through the trail of where my old home use to be at; my true home. I breathed out seeing my breath into the cold weather and picked up some berries on the way. A few minutes later, I reached my old home and opened the front door then closing it half way. The cold weather didn't bother me anymore because I really don't care. I pushed my back into a wall and cried as I slide down to the ground. I cried for myself, cried for being the strong one, cried for mourning my little duck, cried for not having Peeta back to the way he was, and cried for being in pain.

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me

And you whisper you love me

And I begin to fade

Into our secret place

I dig through the game bag from my shoulder strap and finding the bottles of alcohol. I grabbed the vodka bottle opening the lid then starts drinking it right away. I gagged and cough at the stench of the liquor. I feel the kiss of the winter wind on my face always makes me feet at peace.

"Prim, Father, Finnick, Rue, Boggs, and Cinna neither of you guys should have never died. It should have been me." I started to feel lose in my words and spoke the truth. "If I had eaten the berries, I should have died, or told the whole world that the 'Star-crossed lovers' was just an act. Snow should have killed me when he had the chance." I replied then finishing up the bottle of vodka then throwing it across the room

I started to laugh at myself then getting out the whisky bottle.

"Here's to you Sweetheart." I mimic Haymitch. "A girl who's bullheaded to think she can do everything herself, Miss Know-it-all. Stupid girl. 'Miss manners,' ungrateful, and the girl on fire." I start drinking the bottle of whisky half-way then stops. "The Mockingjay." I finished the second bottle tossed it across the wooden floor.

The music makes me sway

The angels singing say we are alone with you

I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive

I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

I lie down on the cold wooden floor and I slowly started to become numb. I have my hand reaching down my pocket getting out a few berries and smiled at them so slight; Nightlock. I threw the two berries in my mouth swallowing them down my throat.

A mockingjay sings a tune that made me smile on last time before the poison settled in.

"I'm free." I said as I closed my eyes and knowing death is taking me away from this world, this life.

So I cry


The light is white


And I see you

Normal P.O.V.

Peeta Mellark is still seating on his bed and grabbing a hold of the wooden nightstand as he battles with the side effect of being hijacked.




"SHE KILED COIN! SHE RISKED HER LIFE TO RESCUED ME FROM THE CAPITOL PRISON! KATNISS HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME!" He screamed at war with himself and starting to claim down having a memory trigger.

His blue eyes open has he mumbled the words to himself. "Katniss is not the enemy, she's an alley. Katniss is not the enemy, she's an alley. Katniss is not the enemy, she's an alley. She needs me like I need her, I love Katniss." Peeta said with a smile on his lips.

He quickly got up from his seat putting on a pair of black pants, gray long sleeve shirt, and a black button up jacket as he raced down the stairs. Peeta opens the door then seeing a trail of dirt on his front door and seeing the Primrose bushes by his feet.

"Katniss?" The blonde young man asked himself and seeing her door wide open. He ran towards her front door and placed his hands on the door frame.

"Katniss! Katniss? Are you here?" He yelled being concern as he ran inside checking of any sight of brunette archer. Peeta's heart started to race with fear entering his mind and starting to think. "Okay, where would Katniss be at-the woods!" He answered his own question then ran from inside from her house then starting dashing towards the woods.

Fifteen minutes later, Peeta was deep in the forest and felt the weather kept dropping as the minutes go by.

"KATNISS! KATNISS! WHERE ARE YOU? CAN YOU HEAR ME?" The baker boy yelled with his hands projecting my mouth to make his voice a lot louder.

Peeta ran by the river bank as he sees deer's, rabbits, squirrels, foxes, and beavers. He placed his hands on his knees giving himself to breathe for a couple of minutes He raised up again then checking on his prostatic leg still being in place.

"Her old house in the Seam, that's where she is!" The blonde young ran towards the direction of Katniss's old house. He jogs towards the old wooden door seeing it was already open. He enters the house being to scan then his blue eyes travels to the ground and seeing a dead body on the ground. The two braids in one his eyes widen in fear.


Peeta's P.O.V.

"KATNISS!" I screamed as I pulled her into my arms. I placed my index and middle finger together to get a plus on her wrist then her neck. Then I placed my ear to her chest to her a heartbeat. My jaw dropped with tears running down my face.

"NO KATNISS, WHY?" I screamed being scared shaking her lightly. "COME ON KATNISS, WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP! I'M BACK, I'M CURED, FINALLY NORMAL!" I yelled with tears covering my sight and hugging Katniss's cold body. I started to rock back and forth with my Mockingjay in my arms. I placed my hand under her chin and seeing a face what use to be strength and courage now cold and lifeless. "Why? Why did you take your life?" I whispered as I kissed her brown locks.

My eyes scan around the floor on how my love killed herself. My sniffed a stench of alcohol; whisky and vodka. The scent of it reminds me of the Capitol. On my left side I see her game bag on the floor with arrows out. I see a couple of dark purple berries by her head and picked them up. I studied them and trying to remember what kind of berries they are.


"WHAT ARE YOU DOING PEETA? THOSE ARE NIGHTLOCK BERRIES, YOU'LL BE DEAD IN A SECOND!" Katniss yelled assuring me as she slaps the berries from my hands then hugs me.

Flashback ends

"You killed yourself with Nightlock and alcohol poisoning including the weather can cause anyone to get hypothermia that eventually leads to sickness then finally death. I could have saved you, if it wasn't for my attacks; you could still be alive." I spoke to Katniss's cold face as I still held her in my arms and ignoring the cold air.

The End.

What did you guys think? Bad? Worse? Good? Great? All I can say is that I had guts to writing this story and getting here to post it. So please don't bash on me if I miss a few things. I have other ideas for Hunger Game stories. Just remember this we're all authors who can write what we want and change characters because it's our stories. If you don't like it then don't write a review saying "you suck, go away." My thing is that if you don't like it, bye! This isn't a site where we publish our stories for money, we simply do it because we love to write.

From and love by honeylove90