"Happy birthday dear Jax and Cj, happy birthday to you!" We all sang and cheered as the boys blew out their birthday candles. They were very excited to share their birthday together. Jax has always shared his birthday with Belle, which was obvious with them being twins, and Cj hadn't actually had a big party before. He said last year his mom and him went to Chuck E. Cheese but it was just the two of them. This year will be the first time the twins will have big parties themselves. Tessa and I normally took them out. Their first birthdays were spent with just my family, and every other birthday after that they'd come down if possible. It was difficult with it being smack dab at the tail end of the holiday season. But nevertheless we made it work. This year, though, this year is one for the books. My hearts swells seeing the kids with the very much expanded family they've come to know. Between Isabelle, Magnus and Maryse, Belle has been able to enjoy a major girly side that I didn't know how to give her. And well, words can't describe the sense of security that having a male figure around 24/7 has given both boys.

As I stand at the dining room entryway, I watch my family, my entire family laughing, and joking, with kids running in circles around each other. My dad lifting cj as he attempts to climb atop the table, Luke and jace plotting with jax to do a surprise attack on their uncles Alec and will, and grandpa Robert. Belle holding onto Issy and simons hands while she explains to her grandmothers where her latest dress has come from, making them laugh and giggle at her very mature and sophisticated nature. Tessa, being Tessa and making sure everyone is okay and situated as she passes out cake alongside magnus. For a split second and I'm sure it was my imagination, but I see Jon standing on the other side of the room staring back at me with a childlike smile on his face. Just because he's gone doesn't mean he isn't with me, and I know if he were here, he'd be smiling just as I saw him.

"Mommy? Why are u crying?" Cj asks as he grabs my hand.

"Don't worry baby boy, these aren't sad tears. They very very happy tears," I reply with a smile.

"I love you"

"and I love you"