AN: Okay, whoo! Here goes nothing...I've only written one bad Frozen story, so just bear with me. This is basically the entire plot of Mean Girls except with Shingeki No Kyojin characters. In this AU, Levi and Mikasa are siblings, Jean isn't in love with Mikasa, and Eremika is the main pair.
THIS IS MEANT TO BE READ AS A PARODY! Nothing serious here.
Disclaimer: If I owned Shingeki No Kyojin, I would actually make some episodes.

Chapter 1

In a small village, adults everywhere were frantically getting their kids ready for school in the city of Maria...or at least that was how Eren Jaeger remembered it. He felt out of place in a bed that wasn't composed out of lumps or eating a meal that didn't fizzle when he poked it. The teen sprinted out of the door, anticipating his first day of Sina Prep. It was a miracle that his parents found room in the fancy city, even though his father was just a surgeon.

"Okay, okay! Look at the camera!" Eren sighed and twisted his face into a strange, forced smile. Carla and Grisha Jaeger were standing outside of their house, tears in their eyes and hopes to the skies. "Moooom, I need to go now!" Carla pouted, but after a few seconds, she gave in. "See you later, E-"
Her kid was already out the door, flying into the school that was conveniently located right across the Jaeger residence.

Eren tiptoed with glee past the courtyard of Sina Prep. It was nothing like his old school back in Maria, where almost everyone hung out together. In fact, there seemed to be groups of kids in designated spots. He shrugged it off and entered the building. Apparently, his homeroom (104) was supposed to be around the corner. Barely suppressing a squeal, he sharply turned...and rammed right into a boy. His hair was dyed as if he was supposed to be a blonde, but God ran out of the color, shrugged it off, and used brown instead. No matter what, there was something about him that immediately screamed "Asshole!" It was true.

"Watch where you're going, asshole!" the dickdyed-um, dipdyed hair boy said. Eren, coming from a rough part of town, obviously wouldn't stand for this. He pushed the boy into the lockers and retorted with a quick "Look who's talking". "Ugh," the other boy groaned. "I don't have time for this. I need to get to room 104." Oh no. When Eren entered the same room as the boy, they both scoffed and looked away.
"Jean! How was your summer?" A freckled kid who had coincidentally broken and arm and a leg on the same side of his body called out to the boy who Eren now thought looked like a horse. Jean turned around, mouthed "Good luck,newbie" to the confused Eren, and moved to the back of the class.

Eren was now faced with a problem- where to sit. He walked up to a man and confidentally declared,"Hi, my name is Eren Jaeger and I'm the new student from the city of Maria." However, he was stopped mid-sentence when the man in question turned out to be one of his fellow classmates who was known for being tall. Eren's confidence shrunk by 20%. Just when he thought all luck would run out, the door burst open. A petite, tan woman with freckles all over her face pranced in the room.
"S-sorry I'm late, class! I'm Miss Lagnar, and I'll be-"
Right when Eren whirled around, he knocked into the teacher. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" the canonly angsty teen frantically declared. Ilse immediately knocked her coffee onto her books. "No, my research!" (The students never knew that Ilse was training to be a veterinarian as a side job, but an abnormal greyhound kept on constantly eating her books and ripping the heads off of chew toys. She soon gave up, but at the same time, never gave up.)
Eren creeped slowly to an empty seat...until the door burst open to reveal Principal Pixis, the usually drunk headmaster of Sina Prep. He stumbled in the room.
"M-m-miss Ilse? You keeping up in there? If there's something you need to ask me, don't! Go to Shadis instead because...because I'm busy. Yep. Busy with principalish things!"
With that said, he abruptly left the room, pretending as if the students didn't notice the wine cleverly hidden inside a water bottle...except it was red wine. By the time Ilse got her act together, homeroom had already ended. Eren sighed an angsty sigh and headed out the door.

The rest of the school day was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur. I got in trouble for the weirdest things.
"
Eren ripped a giant fart, sir." "Shut up, horseface!"
"Why are you hanging from the monkey bars sideways, Jaeger?" "The gear's broken, sir..." "If you can't hang from the monkey bars right, you're going to have to run 10 laps!"
I had lots of friends in Maria, but apparently, none in Sina.

After the day finished, Eren angstily returned to his house across the street. Carla greeted him with open arms. "So how was your first day at prep school?" As a response, Eren created the angstiest noise known to man and went to his room. "I knew it was a bad idea to buy Twilight as Eren's 10th birthday present..."


The next day, Eren dragged himself to room 104, trying to see if any new seats were taken after accidentally picking the one behind Jean yesterday. He popped open a bag of popcorn and went through a row of chairs...only to find a girl eating potato salad (is that even allowed?) staring right at him. Her eyes twinkled and her ponytail seemed to point upwards. "A-are you g-g-going to eat that?" Eren wanted to retort angstily with a hint of sarcasm, but this was one of the only people who talked to him over the course of two days, so he handed it over to her. The girl quickly handed the potato salad to her bald friend and ate the entire bag in one sitting.

"Sasha Braus," the girl mumbled to Eren, her face submerged in the bag. When she finished, her bald friend popped out of his seat. "I'm Connie!" Sasha interrupted her friend and took the potato salad.
"Connie Pringles- he's almost too simpleminded to function."
"Says the girl who called potato one of the main food groups!"
"Excuse me, but potato is God and you will worship."
"Ugh, you sound like that religious dude that always worships the cities..."

Eren chuckled at the duo's antics and gladly sat down near them. "Do any of you know where room B34 is?" The jovial duo shared a look with each other and Connie cheekily chanted "We'll take you!" The duo (now trio, since Eren invaded their friend group) headed out into the back of the school, where Eren was faced with...nothing.

Accidentally letting an angsty, yet confused noise slip out, Eren muttered,"Where's B34 again?" Sasha couldn't keep it in anymore. Connie gladly explained to Eren that it burned down in the year 845, while Sasha cracked up next to him. However, Eren wasn't too sure. "I'm pretty sure I need to get to health now..." The duo shrugged it off and replied with a simple "We're your friends now, don't worry about anything."
I wasn't too keen on skipping classes on my second day of Sina High, but hey, friends! It beats eating in the toilet stalls while feeling angsty. Besides, it's health! What could I possibly be missing?


In the health room, Coach Shadis was furiously pacing back and forth, ranting about various topics. "Don't have sex. Just don't. If you do, you will get eaten by a colossal greyhound and you will die. Okay? Are you going to have sex? The answer is no. Okay, now everyone take some rubbers." Shadis then proceeded to hand out condoms with the colossal titan's perplexed face and a catchy slogan to the side- "Nothing can break down these walls!"