After the talent show incident, Auruo was steaming mad. Of course, since Levi rarely showed emotion and Auruo looked up to him more than most people, conceal, don't feel was a constant mantra. Unfortunately, it was kind of hard to stop thinking about it when everything he saw reminded him of the younger boy's victory. Don't question it. That can happen. Anyway, the seniors and the juniors were having a conjoined English class. They were reading Eren's inner monologue from elementary school, The Colossal Onslaught, and as Auruo prepared to present, Eren braced himself for the indirect insults that were about to spew out of his mouth. "Why should the colossal titan get to break walls and stuff while the rest of us try not to get die in the process? What's so great about the colossal titan? The armored titan is just as awesome as the colossal titan. Okay, the armored titan is just as good at parkour as the colossal titan. People totally like the armored titan as much as the colossal titan. And when did it become okay for one titan to be 60 meters while the others are just 15? Because that sure isn't what Trost equality is about! We should totally just kill him all dead!" Cut.
People gave Auruo strange looks as the exited the classroom. However, he shook it off and yanked Eren into the nearest bathroom. In there, he began to sob quietly but hysterically. Maybe a little too cut? He was just about to comfort his superior when Auruo's eyes flashed. "Okay, if you even knew how rude he really is. You know that I'm not allowed to wear cravats, right? Yeah. Two years ago, he told me cravats were his thing and that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And on Nikolaustag, I got this really soft, white fabric that was perfect for folding up and 'cravatizing'. And I had to pretend that 'Saint Nicholas' got me the wrong gift and it was so, so sad. Oh, and do you know he lied to Mikasa? The sibling pact means nothing to him. She totally fell for it and everything, but he's really doing secret sister things with Isabel Magnolia in the projection room above the auditorium, and I never told anyone that because..." He started to sob again. "Because I'm such a good friend!" Ding ding ding. Auruo's secret had put the plan back in motion. After Christmas break, we tried every week to catch Levi in the act.
Mikasa lazily approached the gym during 5th period. She started to head to the supply closet, but stopped when she saw a sign that said "Fencing class now moved to the projection room behind the auditorium". Giving it a once over, Mikasa merely shrugged and headed out. In the distance, a wild fire sparked Eren's eyes as a wicked grin spread on his lips.
Levi was currently spreading a tablecloth on a small stool while placing a plate of custom-made ravioli in front of Isabel. She grinned and fiddled with the corsage on her wrist, which were literally flowers arranged to spell out 'sister'. "All for you, sis. You know I'll always put you before me, right?" She chuckled. "Of course, bro. Why wouldn't I think that?"
The door handle started to shake. Levi's eyes burst out of their sockets...which meant right now, he looked like the average person who just got out of bed on a Monday morning. With swift precision, he flipped the plate of ravioli into Isabel's face, knocked over the stool, ripped off the corsage, and dove behind a cabinet. Isabel flipped out and tried to run after her brother, but he (lightly) Annie-kicked her in the stomach and doubled her over.
When Mikasa finally opened the door, she was greeted to Isabel's backside and a sauce-covered face, which smiled sheepishly up at the Asian.
Eren casually approached Mikasa at her lockers, rambling about the weather. Suddenly, his backpack was stolen and the thief dashed away. However, because of her ponytail and the piece of toast in her mouth, Eren knew exactly what was going on."Oh. Oh no! It looks like she's heading for the projector room above the auditorium!" Despite being a complete drama queen 24/7, he's surprisingly a bad actor. Mikasa took matters into her own hands and chased after Sasha, the latter whose gluttonous diet was about to become her downfall. Both girls burst into the projection room at the same time, but saw a sight that they've never seen before.
The gym teacher's eyes bugged out more than usual as he was caught with the redhead. Anka flew out of the room, face pale. Needless to say, the girls don't go to that room anymore. Ever.
The trio of traitors (not the canon trio of traitors, but the Recon traitors. Oh, wait. Not those traitors, but...Eren, Sasha and Connie, okay? Jeez.) sat around in Eren's hospital-like home. (Grisha has a thing about making his home life relate to his work life no matter how extreme.) "Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs." Sasha lamented as she continued to bleach her eyes out. However, Aang-I mean, Connie- wasn't giving up. "No, we just have to regroup. Think outside the box." He held up a clear bottle of lotion. "What is this supposed to be?" The angsty teen looked up from the table. "It's this weird american lotion called Get Bromodofied! with the exclamation point. My dad would use it to stink up his patients' feet for medical experiments." A second of silence passed before Eren finally understood. Sly smiles burst onto the trio's face as they began to take action.
"It's this weird lotion my dad uses to make his feet smell better." "Give it." The tiny devil yanked the bottle from Eren. He was willing to do anything for hygiene. Anything. Levi squinted at the bottle. "What is this? It's like...English." "Yeah, there's this ingredient in it that's not legal in Germany yet." "Kräuterlikör?" "No..." "Fluctin." "No. I-it makes your skin smell like cherry blossoms! Just makes you smell like...a cherry...blossom." Levi gave the subject minor thought but figured that he'd rather smell like cherry blossoms than expired bleach. Which is a thing.
He stared at the remaining Recons until they realized he was waiting on them. Auruo, still wanting to get on Levi's good side, caught on first. "Oh my god, what are you talking about?" "Yeah, you smell so nice!" Petra chirped while Erwin and Hanji gave reassuring nods. Levi just rolled his eyes. "Shut up."
The weird thing with hanging out with Levi was that I could hate him, but at the same time, I wanted him to like me. The Recons were crowded in Hanji's basement (hehe basement) and were approaching a greyhound nervously. Hanji's eyes glimmered and she held out Eren's hand. The greyhound began to lick at it while Eren squirmed. Levi wore a slight smirk of approval because one more greyhound whisperer means one less greyhound sicced on him. Auruo noticed this and boldly approached the dog...only to have it gag at his hand and pounce straight for Levi. His cries of rage were drowned out by Hanji's cries of laughter. Same with Auruo. The meaner Levi was to him, the more Auruo tried to win him back. He knew it was better to be in the Recons, hating life, than to not be in at all. Because being in the Recons was like being famous. People looked at you all the time and people knew things about you.
The Recons patrolled the halls, wearing identical green capes. Erwin winked at a passing group of girls, which fainted towards Eren's path. Meanwhile, the green-eyed teen was enjoying his newfound fame. He smiled a non-angsty smile and kept his head up...until he tripped on the pile of girls and sent himself hurtling off his high horse. Metaphorically, of course.
[Mina: That new boy moved here from Maria.
Thomas- I saw Eren Jaeger wearing an olive green shirt with strings in the front, so I bought an olive green shirt with strings in the front.
Mylius- That Eren boy is hot. He might even be hotter than Levi.
Nac- Dude, that's so gay.
Mylius- Whatever. You were thinking it, too.
Ymir- Get on with it already!
Pixis- I hear Levi Ackerman got his old sister back at Nifa's Halloween party. The two were seen canoodling there. Not that I would know. I sure didn't infiltrate the party disguised as the beer supplier. Why would I do that. Why.]
I was possessed. I spent about 50% of my time talking about Levi and the other 50% of the time, I was praying for someone to bring him up so I could talk about him more. "I mean, he doesn't even look that menacing if you really look at him. I don't know, now that he's getting stinkier, it kind of takes away that...dominant effect." Sasha and Connie rolled their eyes in the distance as they raided the doughnut bin. I could hear people getting tired of me, but I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit. "I have this theory that if he gets taller and grew his hair out, he'd look just like Shimada Hideo." Connie stared blankly. "Yeah, you told me that already. Still don't know who he is, though. Hey, I'm gonna be in a skateboarding competition. You should go...and take a break from your double life. I want you to see it." Eren smiled. "Awesome, sure." He didn't notice the starch-obsessed girl sniffing the nape of his neck. He shrieked and pulled away. "Ew, Sasha, that's as creepy as Mike!" She ignored him and asked what smelled so rancid. He held up his hands. "Levi gave me some hand sanitizer." "You smell like Mr. Clean's butthole." "...Thanks." They ended that conversation on a strange note, while Eren tried to get that image of Mr. Clean out of his head.
Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to talk to Mikasa. He tapped Mikasa on the shoulder. "Hey, I don't get any of this. Could you explain it to me?" At that very moment, Ms Reiss had walked over and handed Eren his (passing) test. The raven-haired girl half-smiled and rolled her eyes. "It kind of seems like you get it." If I was going to get anywhere with this plan, I was going to have to commit.
Another week, another test. However, it wasn't another easy A. Ms Reiss looked at Eren with disapproval, but the teen inwardly smiled. Or outwardly. No wonder why she was giving him a weird look. "How'd you do?" Mikasa questioned him. "Not so good. I think I need a tutor." She stared blankly at him. "I think I need a tutor." He said in a more suggestive voice. "Oh. Oh! I could tutor you after school if you want." "Hmm, I'll think about it. But do you think Levi would mind?" "Why would he? Aren't you part of his cleanliness squad or whatever?" Eren grinned impishly to himself. "Well...let's just keep it a secret anyway."
"So what did you get for this one?" Eren discreetly scooted over to Mikasa, invading her personal space but not in a creepy way. "Well, the first time I tried it, I got Santa Greyhound," Wrong. "...but when I tried it again, I got Moe Greyhound." There you go. "Cool, so did I!" Mikasa turned on her motherly eyes, like Makoto Tachibana would if he saw Haruka trying to swim in a fountain. Oh, Haru-chan. "Yeah, sometimes you have to check it because some greyhounds might be wearing contact lenses or a fake beard, but it's all about the detail." "Detail as in watery eyes and itchy chin?" "There you go. Good job." *internal squealing because senpai has noticed me* Okay, calm down, Jaegerbombs. Keep the conversation going. "Well, you're a good tutor." Everything seemed to be looking up for the two...until Mikasa wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck and stood up. "Sorry, but I can't do this anymore. It's not fair to Levi." Levi? To Levi? Everything is always about him, my god!...to be fair, when I was possessed, I felt the same way but still! Why does such a nice person put up with that mute imp? Why can't she see that he's not good enough for her? Why...why...
"Why do you even like him?" Mikasa pursed her lips into a frown and Eren felt terrible. "W-well, look, he can be really mean sometimes but-" "Then why do you stick around with him?" "Look, there's good and bad to everyone, right? Levi is...it's just very hard for him to show his...good side." Oh no. It was coming up. The word vomit. I really didn't mean to say it but...
"He's cheating on you!" Her mouth fell slightly open. Tears formed in her eyes. "Oniisan..." She took off and ran. Eren mentally crossed off "Genderbent Bodyguard With Height" on his mental chalkboard, feeling more distressed than ever. However, he had to take that sadness he felt for Mikasa and focus it on a whole new person, because Levi immediately called him over.
The midget was lying on Hanji's wooden floor (which she sanitized before he came over, of course) bawling his eyes out. Petra's Super Saiyan Mother Mode finally activated and she did everything she could to make him feel better. This included awkward head pats, constant offerings of soup, and helping him burn matches. It was obvious that she hadn't really prepared for this, or else there would be a fun-sized blanket in her bag. Using the most careful tone she could muster, she asked Levi if Mikasa said why the pact was over. He rolled his eyes, but everyone could see how bad he felt. Kind of. "Someone told her about Isabel." "Who?" "Some guy from the swimming team. I gave her everything! I was half a street rat when I met her!" "What does that have to do with anything?" "Ugh, I don't care!" He sunk back into his knees and woefully slurped the soup.
Petra's questions were only starting to frustrate him, so Erwin decided to try. "Leeeeeviiiii, wanna do something fun?" The tiny teen poked his head up. "WANNA GO TO CHUCK. E CHEESE'S?" Levi's eyes shot daggers at the tall blonde. "Do. You. Know. How unsanitary that place is? I bet kids shit in the salad bar every day! That would be like stuffing a diaper in your mouth with the added preservatives of ranch dressing. God, Erwin, you're so STUPID!" Levi lost it and fled the room. "Nobody understands me~." He moaned in an emo-like way. Desperate to patch up their friendship, Auruo followed him. "I understand you! Levi, talk to me!"
Hanji's eyes darted around the room. "I...have to feed Sawney and Bean ok see you later bye hehe this is awkward see you bye" "Bye?" Eren countered confusedly. This was her house. Petra was all burned out from helping Levi, so she didn't try to drag Eren out of the awkward situation. "Hanji, your greyhounds are dead!" She looked sheepishly at Eren. "welp I better set up the Ouija Board hehe bye later love you bye" Now it was only the caterbrows boy along with the junior. He decided to be friendly. "Erwin, you're not stupid." The latter smiled down at him. "No, I am, actually. I'm failing everything but gym." "W-well, there has to be something you're good at." Erwin thought hard for a while and then lit up. "If I take off my shirt, the glow from my abs will be so radiant, it might blind someone!~ Wait, no. It has blinded someone. But only temporarily, and it's not like Principal Pixis minded. Anyway, wanna see?" Eren shielded his eyes, not because he wanted to miss out on Erwin's abs but because he wanted to keep his vision.
"N-no thanks. Anything else?" This time, it didn't take long for Erwin to make up his mind. "I'm kind of psychic. I have like, a 5th sense. My eyebrows can predict the next death." When he saw Eren's disturbed stare, he corrected himself. "Well, they can tell when someone dies. But that's like the same thing." He then continued to peacefully smile.
AN: yasssss plot progress hehehehehehe sorry for not updating so long, my tiny group of followers. Apparently, Nikolaustag is like German Christmas, so I'll take the internet's word for it. I am literally never going to stop inserting Free! references ever. Shimada Hideo is from Parayste-The Maxim (winks at beta tester) and the resemblance is...yep. Don't believe me, search it up yourself~
Yes, I have been to Chuck E Cheese's and yes I have smelled a strange diaper smell BUT it isn't definite. Bromodosis is the medical term for stinky feet so...yeah. The "shiny abs Erwin" thing was kind of stolen by this awesome Shingeki No Kyojin/Free! crossover called Shingeki no Puru by nimrochan, so check that out. Until next (water) time~ (hehehehe ravioli)