433A/N:
I had intended to post this after Harry Potter: Geth. I finished posting that in one shot because of recent traumatic events. If you have read any of my other stories you will know what to expect from this.
In short, Harry is not a moody little bastard. He knows how to have fun and he likes to push people's buttons.
Do not expect the letter of the law to be followed. Do not expect the spirit of the law to be followed. Do not expect to be able to take this to a lawyer and have him do anything but scoff.
This is written to be fun and fantasy. All though not so much on the fantasy.
But there is also a bit of sci-fi.
If you get to the end of the first chapter and you find this story is not for you, please leave quietly. If you like the chapter then keep reading. Reviews are not needed or wanted. If you want to say you liked then fine. I appreciate it. But I am not a professional and have no intention of being one. Please don't go out of your way to be cruel. It is not what Harry and his friends stood for and it is not what Five-0 stood for.
PS: It's not what Lilo and Stitch stood for either.
The sun shone high in the sky, the ocean waters were clear and sparkling and the waves were supposed to be optimum for surfing.
Especially for a beginner like Harry.
Except that didn't take into account the 'traffic' on the waves.
He pulled himself and his board out of the water, he was a little spun around from the collision but he figured it was probably his fault; he was a beginner after all.
He went to turn around to find his fellow surfer to apologise when he briefly glimpsed a fist before it impacted his cheek.
Harry was a veteran of many physical fights, usually the receiving end of blows, but over the past few years since he grew his back bone he had learnt to defend himself and his reaction was instantaneous as his fist snapped out hitting the girl who had hit him square on the nose causing blood to spurt out.
The girl stumbled back, shock in her eyes that this guy had hit her back; most guys didn't tend to retaliate when she gave a 'physical lesson'. And this guy had moved so quick she barely saw it.
"What da hell Brah!" She demanded as she held her nose.
"Really? That was gonna be my question!" Harry snapped as he rubbed his jaw.
The young woman, having overcome her shock, began to attack again. Harry was fairly hard pressed to keep up with her. She clearly had martial arts training and he had nothing but his excellent reflexes. Harry had learnt never to attack but to simply defend and deflect and take advantage of any openings. Every time a fist came at him he would either dodge or duck and simply push the fist further and faster on it's path causing the girl to over extend. She jumped into the air performing a roundhouse kick only for Harry to duck beneath and push up hard from below causing her to flip over her head and land face first in the sand.
By the time the girl got to her feet Harry found himself being held back by two rather strong men, Harry didn't struggle much as the girl was also being restrained by a fairly strong man but he was much more wiry with more Asian or Polynesian features found on the native population. The other two looked more like mainland Americans.
"Sir, are you aware it is a crime to strike a police officer?" The fair-haired man who was holding him asked, although he had a slight smirk.
"Is it a crime to defend yourself from one who attacks you without provocation?" He snapped back.
"Easy, I'm sure this was all a mis-OW!" Whatever the tall dark haired man was about to say - and it was fairly obvious to Harry - was cut off as a blue furry creature bit into his right shin and a young girl in a red and yellow flower print dress began kicking the fair haired man's shins.
"Leave Harry alone!" The little girl screamed angrily as she continued kicking.
The girl who hit him and the man restraining her looked on in astonished shock as they watched the debacle. Harry tried not to laugh as he was freed from their grip.
"Lilo, Stitch, I think it's safe to say you taught them a lesson."
Both girl and 'dog' stopped mid bite and kick as each man was holding a leg and hopping on the other.
The little girl glared angrily at the man who froze before falling to the ground now holding both shins as the little girl unleashed one last kick on his good leg and turned back to Harry.
However, the look the girl gave Harry was not happy. "I told you to watch out for other surfers!" She told him off.
Harry just sighed. "I know, but I'm still not used to these contacts and one of them fell out… we're just lucky I didn't start heading out to sea… then you would have had to come out and rescue me… and that would have just plain embarrassing!" It had been the first five times she had to do it… Nani would still laugh hysterically whenever she saw Harry with Lilo and his surfboard.
"Did you apologise?" She asked as she pointed to the young woman he had crashed into.
"Did you see her give me a chance to?" Harry countered.
"Do it." Lilo said sternly.
Harry just sighed. Lilo was his first introduction to little girls, he was really curious if they were all this stubborn and demanding.
He turned round to the woman who was still holding her bleeding nose. "I'm sorry, I honestly didn't mean to crash into you I just honestly couldn't see anything… to be honest, you're nothing but a blur even now." Harry said… honestly.
There was a tug at his leg. "Glasses!" The 'dog' gargled in a weird voice as it handed the aforementioned object to Harry.
"Hey, Steve, did that thing just talk?" The fair-haired man asked.
"Not thing! Am puppy!" The 'puppy' declared.
"Sounds like it."
"Kono, the man apologised, I think at the very least you can call it quits." The shorter dark haired man advised the woman he was holding.
Kono was not in the mood to play nice. This haole had crashed her wave and by the feel of it had broken her nose.
"He broke my nose cuz. I'm thinking I should press charges." She snarled.
"I wouldn't." Harry shrugged as he pointed to the camcorder the little girl was holding. "She insists on taping what I do so I can review and learn. I really don't think a court is going to charge me for defending myself from an unidentified attacker, they might be a little tougher on a cop who abuses her power."
"Whoa, whoa! Nobody is pressing charges." The fair-haired man said slightly anxious and clearly eager to act as peacemaker. "As the only official member of the HPD here I formally apologise for the actions of recruit Kala… erm… for the recruit." He finished as he failed to remember her name.
"As her older cousin, I also apologise." Said the man holding her respectfully, but he also had the look of someone trying not to smile.
"She can give him lessons as community service."
Everyone turned to look at the little girl who seemed to have taken charge of the situation. She had her arms folded and a stern look on her face. A pose that the 'puppy' managed to adopt perfectly.
"Lessons in what?"
"Do you have ID?" The little girl asked with a suspicious look.
The fair-haired man shared a smile with his fellow adults before pulling out his badge and kneeling down to show her.
"I'm Detective Danny Williams, this is my partner Steve McGarrett, our friend Chin Ho Kelly and his cousin Kono." Danny said seriously. "And may I just say I am very impressed that you thought to ask for proof of who we are."
Lilo just stared at him for a few seconds. "You may." She said imperiously.
Danny rubbed his nose in an attempt to smother his smile. "So, lessons? What sort of lessons do you think Kono should be giving… Harry?"
Harry just nodded and stood there smiling. Lilo was one of the best things to happen in his life. As far as he was concerned he had adopted Lilo and Nani as his sisters.
"Harry seemed to handle himself very well against Kono when she was hitting him… or trying to."
There was a disgruntled objection that was silenced by an elbow to the side by Chin.
"Harry can't surf. He wants to, but he is hoooorrrrrible." Lilo said dramatically.
"Hey! I'm practically blind out there!"
"You know you can get prescription goggles, right?" Chin offered.
"Really?" Harry asked, perking up. Surfing was a challenge. He could surf on a broomstick but he wanted to try and ride the waves.
"I'll send the details round with Kono."
"Don't I get a say in this?" Kono objected.
"No Recruit, you don't." Danny said standing up. "I'll admit I thought it was pretty impressive when you cocked him, but lets face it, you didn't give him a chance to apologise and he had something of an excuse. So unless you want Mr…."
"Potter."
"Mr. Potter here to file charges and destroy your career before it begins, you will do as Miss Lilo suggests and drop the attitude."
"Fine! Be here at five, bring your board and gear, do you even know how to care for your board?" She asked snidely.
"Hey! I taught him just fine. So did Nani and she works in surf stores." Lilo said indignantly.
"Well maybe you should make sure she takes care of her board when you see her this afternoon." Chin said as he squeezed Kono's arm to keep her quiet.
"Good." Lilo said with finality. "Harry, Stitch, come on. We have homework to do!"
"Since when do you want to do homework?" Harry asked as he waved to the cops and grabbed his board.
"Shh! I'm trying to make an impression." She whispered loudly.
"I swear; that right there… the future Governor of Hawaii." Danny told Steve as they watched the trio amble away.
"What was with that dog?"
"She's cute, he's a haole, she probably turned those big brown eyes on him and he caved and dyed the dog." Chin laughed.
"And the talking?!" Steve asked.
"Meh." Danny said dismissively. "You should see the weird crap that people train their pets to do."
Steve rolled his eyes and turned Chin and his cousin. "So, Kono, how would you like some extra experience in undercover work?"
"You sure you're up for this? You look fairly worn out." Harry commented as he looked Kono up and down with a glib eye as she slumped down on the sand beside him.
"Just a long day. A successful one. But a long one." She was too tired to snap at the haole. Plus the girl and her 'puppy' were there too, she didn't want to start an argument with a six year old, they were nearly impossible to win.
Harry sighed. "Come on. Surf School is on break for today. We can come back another day."
"But-"
"Ah! No buts." Harry admonished Lilo. "Miss Kono is beat. She's a police officer so her work is important, it's what keeps you safe."
"I thought you and Stitch keep us safe. That's what Nani and Agent Bubbles told me." She challenged.
Kono just frowned as she observed the discussion. She had trouble believing that there was a federal agent going by the name 'Bubbles'.
"She keeps you safe from criminals, I keep you safe from the rest."
"You're a bodyguard?" Kono enquired.
"Eh… no. I'm just a friend."
"You're Ohana." Lilo stated with certainty.
"Ohana mean 'family'." Stitch added in kind.
"How does he do that?" Kono asked in morbid fascination.
"Well… Stitch is special, and technically classified." Harry said as he scratched his head. "We don't usually come to Honolulu, we live on the outer islands so things like Stitch don't get questioned too much. Of course now I owe the Governor fifty dollars." Harry sighed as he glared at Stitch.
"Sorry." Stitch said mournfully as he turned soulful eyes to look up at Harry.
"The Governor of Hawaii?" Kono asked in amazement.
"Yeah, Pat's an ok lady but she was really rubbing in the fact that Stitch and Lilo were useless at keeping secrets."
"Pat?"
"It's her name." Harry shrugged.
"Then… why are you in Honolulu?"
"Nani's honeymoon." Lilo explained.
"Lilo! You make it sound like we followed your sister on her honeymoon!" Harry laughed. "No, Nani and her new husband, David, went to Paris for their honeymoon. I decided to treat Lilo and Stitch to some fun and pampering and booked us a room at Hawaii's best hotel. Besides, the simple life is nice but sometimes you need a bit of technology and automation."
"Not to mention cable TV." Kono added with a smile, she had to admit, when he wasn't hogging her waves, Harry was kind of fun.
"Stitch and I are going to patrol the beach and make sure it's clean." Lilo declared as she stood up from the sandy beach and dusted herself off.
"Don't go too far. Make sure you only travel ten minutes before coming back." Harry warned; he really hoped they didn't find any more experiments. That was the real reason for coming to stay in a hotel in the city, back home was like an intergalactic zoo, and that didn't even begin to take into account Jumba and Pleakley. But he couldn't exactly tell Kono that.
"It's not really safe for her to go walking that far alone, is it?" Kono said worriedly as she watched the girl and her 'puppy' wander off.
"She wasn't making things up when she said Stitch and I take care of her. That… 'dog' will make sure that the only thing she comes back with is a pile of left shoes."
"Left shoes?"
"It's just something Stitch does. He has a fondness for eating peoples left shoes." He said as he pointed to Kono's feet.
"What the hell?!" Kono demanded as she saw she was missing her left sandal. She glanced over and saw Harry still had both of his.
"Stitch knows not to eat my shoes." Harry grinned happily. Harry reached into his backpack and pulled out a matching left shoe and handed it to her.
"You just happen to have a left sandal the same as the one that Stitch supposedly 'ate'?" Kono asked with a mildly accusing tone.
"It's that or I'm a magician and somehow managed to snag yours." Harry riposted. The truth was he had conjured it in his bag where his wand was stashed.
Fortunately for Harry, Kono had no counter to that. "At least this explains why Steve and Danny were missing their left shoes back at the office." She chuckled.
"So, Future Officer Kono, what happened to you that has you so tired today?"
"I had to go undercover to help bust a human trafficker, he made me strip to my underwear and then sent a picture of me like that to a mole in the department. He made me as a cop and then we got into a gunfight.
"And after that there was all the paperwork for the equipment and the people we found that they were selling."
She was a little shocked when she heard Harry growling. "You got the bastard?"
"He is nice and safe in holding."
"Good." Harry grunted.
They sat there for a few minutes just watching the people walk by and play in the surf.
"So what's your story? How did you wind up looking after a little girl in Hawaii?" Kono asked eventually.
"I am technically on the run from Britain." Harry grinned. "Some stuff happened and I can't talk about it. Short story is that the American government knew what was happening and managed to extract my money from British banks and granted me citizenship and asylum."
Kono just stared at him.
"It's true! I've been in Hawaii for about two years now. I spent nearly a year on the mainland in Washington D.C. until they decided they had all the information they needed from me and they sent me to Hawaii. Mainly to keep me safe and out of the way… didn't quite work out though so now I work with the Governor occasionally."
"Doing what?"
"Troubleshooting various things that come up. Like the stuff with your boss and his dad and that guy Victor Hess."
"How do you know about that?" Kono demanded.
Harry just smiled. "I told you, I owed the Governor fifty dollars. I went to give it to her and we were discussing the story of my little accident with you. She recognised the name Steve McGarrett. Said she was going to ask me to help with that one but that she felt Steve needed to deal with it as it was personal."
"And we just happened to stumble across you on the beach this morning?" She said clearly doubting him.
"Actually, I crashed into you, but yes, it is a small set of islands after all."
She couldn't argue with that. It was exactly the reason they had asked her to go undercover, they thought that no one would recognise her as a cop.
"How long are you in the city for? Doesn't Lilo have school?" She didn't really want to focus on work at the minute; she could pump him for information later.
"She goes to a small school, but I also teach her a lot. We will probably stick around for a few weeks, we can easily commute as well."
"How?" It was a fair distance from where they were to the outer islands, not to mention that they had to cross the water.
"Private helicopter." That was a half lie. Harry did have a small helicopter but he also had authorisation to create Portkeys. "You had dinner yet?"
"Detective Williams! Not on a case, I hope." Harry greeted Danny as they both entered the hotel elevator.
"Oh… erm… Mr. Potter."
"Nah, just Harry."
"Danny's fine. No case. I am here for a weekend of relaxation with my beautiful daughter, Grace." Danny smiled proudly as he placed a hand on the little girl's head.
"Pleased to meet you Miss Grace." Harry smiled as he held out a hand. "My name is Harry."
After getting an encouraging nod from Danny she smiled and shook the hand.
"Hi. You sound like my grandma." She said with a slight frown.
"I sound like an old lady?" Harry laughed.
"My ex-wife, she's British." Danny explained.
Harry flinched ever so slightly that Danny almost missed it, but he decided to ignore it. "Well, Britain actually has its high points, I am Welsh, I was born in Wales. Do you know where Wales is?"
Grace shook her head.
"Wales is a country that is a part of Britain, find an atlas or globe and look it up." Harry advised. "Do you have plans for this evening?" He asked Danny.
"Dinner and a movie. Nothing real fancy."
Harry could see that Danny was slightly touchy about only having the ability to have simple plans.
"Kono is due to give me another lesson in an hour. You could join us and watch me make an absolute fool of myself. We could then go off to dinner together, plus I can introduce you to Lilo and Stitch." Harry added to Grace.
"The little girl and her… 'puppy'?" Danny asked. "Seriously, what is with that dog?"
"Unfortunately that is classified. We all just pretend he's a cross between Lilo's pet and her twin brother… minus the looks."
"A puppy!" Grace almost squealed.
Danny took one look at his daughters eyes and knew exactly what he would be doing that night.
"HAR-RY! HAR-RY! GO HARRY! GO HARRY!"
Danny grimaced as his daughter and Lilo cheered the bespectacled Brit on. Kono was just rolling in the sand laughing.
"My daughter is gonna be a cheerleader." He muttered unhappily.
"Aw, come on Danny. She'll be cute as a cheerleader."
"That is exactly what worries me, Kono." Danny groused. "I'm gonna need to get a shotgun."
"You could always sign her up for surf lessons."
"Are you kidding me? I've seen what you wear when you surf."
"Professionals tend to wear special wet suits, Danny. Only hands, head and feet exposed."
Danny considered that for a moment. "Nope, too tight fitting."
Kono rolled her eyes. It was no wonder that Danny always seemed so tense. "Then sign her up for martial arts lessons. She gets to wear thick pyjamas and whale on other kids."
"And they get to whale on my little girl!"
"Fine. Then buy her a bubble and lock her in."
Danny just glared at her.
"So have you learnt anything new about Harry? Or that mutt?"
"Sure… you call it anything other than 'Stitch' and it will correct you or Lilo will go for your shins." She said as she absently rubbed her shins. She was just lucky it hadn't bruised.
Danny just laughed, until he noticed Kono staring at him. "You're serious?"
"Don't believe me? Try it."
"No, I'll take your word for it… Lilo was bad enough."
"Harry is… unusual."
"Good unusual or bad unusual."
"Unusual in that he's on a first name basis with the Governor and has her on speed dial and vice versa. Unusual because he says that he was lined up to handle our current assignment as the taskforce until Steve's dad was murdered and it became personal."
"Wait- that kid out there was gonna take on Victor Hess and the Governor was the one backing him?" Danny asked in disbelief.
"He's only a year younger than me, he's been living here for nearly two years and doing things that he says are classified. He keeps saying Stitch is classified."
"Not doing a good job with that then." Danny snorted as he watched the girls and Stitch playing in the sand. He found it strange that Stitch stayed away from the surf, refusing to get wet.
"Danny, that 'dog' has a very high intelligence." Kono said with a hint of earnestness.
"What? It can mimic a few words and practiced sentences. Parrots can do that and gorillas and monkeys can learn sign language… well they can in the movies."
"Yesterday I watched Harry, Lilo and Stitch have a full three-way conversation. Stitch can't speak well, but that is more because of his muzzle. He has a huge vocabulary, he just doesn't know how to use it, like English isn't his first language."
"No, barking is his first language… do we need to send you for a psych eval?" Danny asked only half joking.
"Just watch at dinner, Danny. You'll see what I mean." She said as she turned back to watch Harry pull himself from the surf only to be hit in the back by his board.
Despite Danny's constant questions, he was not able to get any definitive answer on what Stitch was. Although Harry did imply he was an experiment of some sort. Danny didn't like the sound of that though.
The next day was spent with Harry, Lilo and Stitch at Grace's insistence. Danny didn't have too many objections as long as he got to spend his time with his daughter. They spent the time at the beach and Kono and Danny introduced them all to Kamekona and his shaved ice.
Much to Danny's annoyance he was forced to buy three more t-shirts which Harry, Lilo and Grace all wore proudly, he drew the line at buying one for Stitch.
When they broke for the evening after watching Harry make a fool of himself on a surfboard again, Danny and Kono invited their new friends to the football match two days later whilst Kono would see them the following evening for another lesson before her graduation. Having never seen a football match and wanting to spend the day with Grace again, Lilo declared they would attend.
As they went their separate ways Harry heard Grace ask: "Daddy, where's my shoe?"
"What Monkey?"
"Where's your shoe?"
"Stitch get your furry hide back here!" Kono screeched.
"Sweet Merlin, you're a bloody menace." Harry groaned at Stitch as he reached into his backpack and conjured three sets of footwear. He deftly tossed them over his shoulder. "Run!" He ordered.
"He stole our shoes? The left ones?" Danny asked completely confused.
"According to Lilo and Harry, Stitch ate them. But he always seems to be able to produce a replacement." Kono sighed as she walked over and picked up the new lefties.
"He blames his dog for his kooky kleptomania?"
"What's kleptomania?" Grace asked.
"When people steal things." Danny said absently, still trying to figure the weird trio out.
"I don't think he is though." Kono said as she showed him the sole of Grace's trainers.
"This isn't Grace's shoe." Danny mused. "What the hell does this say?" He asked as he tried to read the logo.
"Daddy, language!"
"Sorry Monkey. Is it Cyrillic?"
"It's 'addidas', just completely inverted and reversed, as if Harry somehow managed to take our right shoes and mirror them."
"How would he do this? He didn't leave us for more than five minutes, and that was just for the toilet."
"Maybe we should show this to Steve. This could be useful, especially if he can recreate things without inverting them."