54Present...(8:26 pm)
Dark circles were visible beneath his green eyes as Beast Boy eyed the scene before him. The sky was a deep gray and the sea a dark blue, with waves gently sweeping the rocks of the shore. The day had a calming affect. There was now bright sunlight or harsh winds. Everything was peaceful and at rest. But like Garfield, the calm masked the storm ahead.
Two weeks ago...
The green boy was still, looking around his childish, messy room. His anger aroused, building up with each second until it finally peaked. He let out a loud growl and flung his toy robot across the room, letting it smash against the wall. He kicked the pile of dirty clothes on his bedroom floor in anger and stomped over to his bunk bed.
"Stupid wannabe leader. Who made him king, huh?!" He grumbled, sitting on his bed. Anger was written all over his face as well as hurt, though he'd never admit it. What had he done wrong? He saved Starfire's life for Christ's sake. So what if it freaked some bums on the streets out. He had saved his team mate from being squashed! This was the third time this week Robin had punished him for using his powers "dangerously". That was rich. Like throwing a smoke bomb right next to a guy's head was the vision of safety. Of course his animal forms were dangerous! That was the idea! If they weren't dangerous then they wouldn't do any good. Why did Robin have to pick on him for it?
For over two months Robin had been coming down on Beast Boy hard on stuff like this. First his forms weren't strong enough. Then, they were too dangerous. Would he ever be good enough for him? Beast Boy already knew the answer to that. No matter how hard he worked he would always be a screwup in everyone's eyes. Even someone as loving and kind as Starfire thought so. He just knew it. Hell, his crush hated him! For ongoing years she had treated him like he was nothing but a stupid, worthless freak. Why did he always end up falling for the cruel girls?
Garfield sighed and lay on his side, tears involuntary beginning to fall. What was the point? If he could never be good enough then what was the point of even trying? These were dark thoughts and he knew he shouldn't be thinking like this. But for once he knew he was right. He had tried and failed. End of story. The more he thought about it, the more tears fell from his eyes. He tried to hold it back but he just ended up shaking and whimpering until the dam finally broke. Muffling his cries with his pillow, he sobbed, knowing that he had failed.
Present...
Since then things hadn't changed. Robin was still on his case; Garfield still felt like trash. He wasn't exactly angry anymore, though. He like there was a heavy weight on him now, one that seemed to keep him from improving or from being happy. He wanted to push it off but it was just too heavy. Scientifically it was known as depression. It was hard to believe it, really. After all those years of joyfulness and optimism he had somehow sunk this low. Now that he thought about it he realized he'd felt this way for a while now. Not this deep in depression, but for a while he had been slowly sinking into this stage. But he wondered, would he ever come out of it? Would he ever be 'normal' again?
The wind picked up, sending a chill through the changeling. It was best for his health that he went inside, but he didn't want to go in there and face his teammates, specifically Robin. He didn't know how much longer he could take his critisism and insults. He was really starting to lose his reputation as well. Cyborg had been on his case non-stop at why he was acting 'weird'. He dreaded that pretty soon, he would break and the team would know all that he kept from them.
The changeling eventually decided he would simply sneak in as one of his animal forms without being seen. He transformed into a canary and flew into the open door from the roof and flew down the stairs. Eventually he made it to his bedroom door and turned into his human self to open it. He tore off his uniform, feeling oddly disgusted by wearing it. He didn't know why. It had something to do with this team he had failed on, just like the one before it.
His brain was too tired to think like that right now and he collapsed on his bed. But still, those thoughts crept up on him. His mind drifted over to Raven. She made him feel so stupid. She had insulted him back and forth, making him feel even lower about himself and his life. But that wasn't all of it. He felt so stupid for liking her for so long. Why her above all people? Why not some cute blonde who laughed at his jokes and liked to have fun and explore... He stopped himself and realized he was thinking of Terra again. The last thing he wanted right now was to think of her rejection when he had seen her last year.
There was a knock at his door, and as usual he ignored it. He assumed it was Robin wanting to talk about some lecture or a Cyborg with a pointless pep talk. But the voice on the other end of the door was not either of theirs. It was Raven's. "Um...Beast Boy? Are you in there?"
Raven: (8:32 pm)
Raven wanted to shun herself from truth, deny every thought and emotion in her mind, and go back to ignoring her green team mate like she did when things were 'normal'. When things were normal Beast Boy was his happy, energetic self; Raven could've cared less what Beast Boy did in his spare time; and she was able to mediate without him popping into her head. Things hadn't been normal for months now and it was really starting to get to her. At first she liked the peace and quiet around the Tower now that Beast Boy normally stayed in his room or outside of the Tower. But there came a time where there was this undeniable loss she felt. The Tower felt too quiet, making her want to scream. Over months of denial, Raven no longer had the strength to deny the truth: she missed Beast Boy. Precisely, the old Beast Boy. The one that tried to make her feel happy and lead her to feelings she was terrified of. Happiness being one of them. All of it was new, weird, and scary to the demoness so she therefore denied not only her emotions towards him but emotions in general. Life was gray to Raven, and she needed Beast Boy to change that.
Of course, it went deeper than that. Raven recalled the names she'd called him and the times she had even harmed him physically. Some empath she was. It wasn't until now she realized that her cruelty may have lead him to act the way he did now. She hoped it hadn't gone too far, that he wasn't in deep depression or God forbid suicidal. This lead to another emotion: guilt. And she wanted to stop it. Whenever she saw him now, which wasn't too often, she tried to make an effort to be...nice. She found it wasn't really her thing and wasn't too good at it. Beast Boy didn't seem to notice or change at all. Eventually it came down to the decision she made tonight: she was going to apologize.
Raven let out a calming exhale as she stood outside Beast Boy's door, shaking off her nerves. It was time to set things right. But she was still terrible at this sort of thing. Apologies, even if she truly meant them, were one of the hardest challenges she faced. Her unsteady fist slowly made its way to the door and she tapped on it, giving off small knocking noises. There was no response but she knew he was in there. She knocked again, louder this time. Still no answer, not even a sign of life. Finally getting the courage she spoke. "Um...Beast Boy? Are you in there?"
Beast Boy froze in his place at the sound of her voice. Now that was something he hadn't thought he'd hear. Part of him was curious and wanted to open the door and see what she wanted. But another part of him was burning with anger at her and wanted nothing to do with her. He ended up doing both.
"What?" He demanded in a groan. Raven was taken aback; he didn't ever sound like this.
"I, uh...was wondering if I could talk to you." Raven replied cautiously.
Beast Boy chuckled bitterly at the irony. It had once been him beckoning her from behind her door and now the roles had reversed. "Who would've guessed it? The one who tells me to go away wants to talk to me." He said, venom in his voice.
Raven was hurt and shocked by his words but kept pursuing him. "Can I at least come in?" She asked.
"I don't care." He said, knowing it was a lie. He didn't want her in here. It hurt to see her, knowing how he felt for her and it never being returned. But at the same time he did want her in there. He wanted to hold her as she held him and tell her everything, knowing she would understand. Not that that would ever happen.
Raven opened the door and walked in carefully as though she were approaching an animal locked in its cage. She saw Beast Boy wearing nothing but magenta boxers, lying on his bed, not looking at her. He eventually did and looked at her with a glare. "Y'know what? I've changed my mind. Get out." He spat harshly, pointed towards the door.
Now Raven was angry as well as shocked by what was Beast Boy was saying. It sounded nothing like him. "What?" She retorted. Beast Boy stood up.
"I said out! You think you can just come in here and expect me to want you here?!" he hollered, walking towards her.
Now Raven was intimidated as well. He hadn't acted like this since their first fight with Adonis. That was a time she'd like to forget. "Every time I bothered to come near your room, you told me to get out, leave you alone, or threw me into a window! And now you expect me to just let you in?!" He hollered, his eyes welling with tears.
His words struck a chord in Raven and though she'd like to deny it, she knew he was speaking the truth. She had pushed him way in the past and had never been very grateful for him and how was always friendly to her. She hadn't thought he had minded so much as he always seemed so cheerful either way. Raven honestly had not even considered that he had trouble letting others in. After all, Beast Boy seemed to accept everyone with open arms. She never thought she'd see the day he'd turned anyone's friendship down.
"Look, I'm sorry, I just-" she struggled with her words.
"Oh, so now you're sorry?! Well forget it! I don't wanna hear from you or see you again! Now get out!" he shouted, right in her face. Raven stepped back, bewildered. He continued to glare her down, but it wasn't until a few moments later she ran out of the room.
"Good Riddance." Beast Boy muttered, kicking the door closed.