ok it's been a while since i've made really fluffy multi-chaptered fics with LOTS of humor so :)


Romano Vargas had a huge problem.

He scowled at the plate of pasta in front of him. Emma's older brother was relentless. Every single time Romano tried to talk to Emma- woo her and ask her out on a date- fucking Tim would show up. Tim with the small vertical scar by the right side of his large forehead. Tim with the stupid blonde, spiked-up hair. Tim with the scary (ahem, ugly) expression on his face every time Romano was around his younger sister.

"Don't look so down, Roma!" Antonio exclaimed with a grin. "I'll pay for your pasta," he offered when he realized that the Italian wasn't going to stop frowning any time soon.

"Tim is such a fucking bastard," Romano grumbled, stabbing his pasta with his fork. He ungracefully stuffed it in his mouth and chewed.

"He didn't let you to talk to Emma again?" Antonio guessed, furrowing his eyebrows. He pushed his napkin towards the angry Italian.

"He never lets anyone talk to her," answered Romano. He took the napkin and wiped his chin. "How the hell am I going to make her my girlfriend now?"

"He lets Feliks talk to her," Antonio told him after a moment. The Spaniard took a spoonful of paella as he looked over the menu. Maybe he should get some churros-

"Who?"

"That guy from Poland," his friend answered. Antonio picked up the menu to get a closer look. "He's new-"

"That gay guy?" asked Romano. He had him in his math class, and he was one noisy bastard.

"Um, I don't know if he's gay," Antonio scratched the side of his head in confusion.

But Romano wasn't listening. He was conjuring up a strategy to slip under Tim's radar in order to win Emma's heart. "I have a plan."

The Spaniard allowed his gaze to slip from the dessert options. "Okay," he said slowly.

"Don't look at me like that, bastard! I haven't said anything yet!" Romano exclaimed.

Antonio blinked, an amused smile playing on his lips. "I wasn't-"

"Anyway," Romano cut, annoyed at his friend's unwavering smile, "I'm going to pretend I'm gay."

At this, Antonio raised his eyebrows and parted in his lips in surprise. "W-"

"Wait," Romano raised a hand to stop the questions from materializing, "before you ask anything, I'm doing this to test out my theory. And if it works, then I'll make her fall in love with me while I'm pretending to be gay, and when she does, I'll tell her that I'm bisexual or something." He waited for Antonio to say something.

"I'm going to order churros," Antonio said.


The next day, the plan was in action.

Romano walked up to Emma during their lunch break and, as expected, Tim showed up just as he was about to tap her shoulder.

"Romano," he greeted. His backpack was hanging on one shoulder, both hands pushed inside his sweater's pockets as he stared down at the shorter male.

"Tim." Romano scowled, eyebrows dipping down. His hands curled into fists at his sides. "I need to talk to Emma," he said.

"She's busy," Tim replied. When Romano peered over his shoulder, he swore that Tim's mouth twitched. Emma was watching them curiously, with a few of her friends (which were all females, obviously) whispering with one another.

"No, she isn't," Romano said. He stepped around Tim, and was immediately blocked. The Italian sighed in exasperation.

"Why do you want to talk to her?"

"Do I need to have a reason?" Romano asked sarcastically. For a moment, he forgot that he was supposed to act gay in front of Tim- but then Feliks came around and plopped down beside Emma and then- "M-my boyfriend needs her notes," he suddenly blurted out.

No one spoke for what seemed like forever- when in reality, it was only a couple of seconds. Romano swallowed nervously, and Tim lifted an eyebrow in curiosity. The girls and Feliks were listening in on their conversation as well.

"Your boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Romano felt his hands go clammy. Oh god, who was going to be his boyfriend? Holy fuck, he didn't think this through. Ohmygodohmygod- "A- Emma, you know Antonio, don't you?" He peeked over Tim's shoulder again, and this time, Tim didn't block him.

Her pretty green eyes blinked in surprise, and she nodded, silky blonde hair bouncing. Damn- Romano swallowed again. Alright, if he wanted Emma to be his girlfriend, then he would do anything. Really, anything. "He needs your notes."

"For chemistry?" she asked in her sweet, lovely voice.

"Um- I d-don't know," stammered Romano. Oh man, when she looked directly at him like that- his cheeks turned red. "The stupid idiot didn't tell me which subject the notes were for."

She giggled- giggled, damn it- and smiled that breathtaking smile. Romano's heart was preparing to leap out of his chest. "That's the only class I have with him."

"Oh," muttered Romano. Emma rummaged through her schoolbag, and Tim actually stepped aside for Romano to pass. Romano made his way towards Emma, puffing out his chest a bit because that was how the modern human male specie flirted. Fortunately (or unfortunately), the slight puffing of his chest did nothing to aggravate Tim.

It was a good sign. For now.

"Thanks," Romano sent her a charming smile, which made her friends swoon. But not Emma. She looked unaffected. Well, he'd do better next time. And he was certain that there would be many next times.

"No problem," she said back.


The text message was unexpected.

Antonio was walking back to his calculus class when his phone vibrated. Like most students in Hetalia Academy, he kept his phone on vibrate instead of turning it off. There were only a handful of students who thoroughly followed the school rules, and he was definitely not one of them. Antonio checked his message. It was from Roma!

if people ask, tell them we're dating. i'll explain everything later bastard

Um.

Antonio stopped in the middle of the hallway, holding his phone in one hand while he used the other to run his fingers through his messy hair. He wasn't against the idea, but maybe Roma should've asked him on a date first or something?

where r u right now? Antonio sent the text and began walking the opposite way. He wouldn't mind skipping a few more minutes of calculus. He could borrow Feli's notes or just read the textbook. No problem.

football field, Romano replied a second later.

Antonio smiled and picked up his pace, wait for me :-)

A few minutes later, Antonio appeared at the football field, looking for Romano- his supposedly-boyfriend. When he spotted the dark curl sticking out by the end of the bleachers, he jogged up to him and sat down next to him. He easily grabbed Romano's sandwich and took a bite.

"So," Antonio started as he swallowed; Romano glared at him and took his sandwich back, "can you explain to me now?"

"Don't fucking eat my food, jerk," he seethed, spitting out the last word with as much venom as he could. God, he hated it when Antonio ate off of his food! Only he could do that with Antonio's food! Not the other way around, damn it! "And yeah, well," Romano fumbled with his words, looking away to glare into the distance. "I don't know how to act gay so I told Tim you're my boyfriend."

"Romaaa," whined Antonio, "I don't know how to act the part!"

"I don't care. Emma and her clique thinks you're my boyfriend, so you better fucking act like it," Romano told him. He took a bite from his sandwich, trying to think of a way to get into Emma's damned group of friends. Should he talk to Feliks? And then, he had Antonio as a "boyfriend" to worry about-

"How am I gonna do that?" Antonio continued to whine and look at Romano in desperate bewilderment. "And why are we doing this again?"

Romano raised his index finger. "I don't fucking care how you're going to pretend to act like my boyfriend and," he raised another finger, "we're doing this because I like Emma and Tim is dickwad."

"But Romaa-"

"Don't fucking but me," Romano interjected. "You're doing this because you gave me the idea anyway."

"No I didn't!"

"Shut up, damn it," grumbled Romano. He punched Antonio on the shoulder, pushing him away. "And get to class. We'll talk about this later. Remember, you're my boyfriend and we're dating."

"But what am I going to tell them if they ask when we started dating?"

Romano rolled his eyes. "I really don't care."

"Okay," Antonio sat back and crossed his arms in contemplation. If he was in the same situation, he would've probably done the same- plus, there was no harm in helping out a friend! He reached out and ruffled Romano's hair, grinning determinedly. "Don't worry, Roma! You'll get Emma in no time!"

"I fucking know I will," Romano muttered. He slapped Antonio's hand away. "It's just her stupid brother that's always in the damn way."

Antonio laughed. "This plan's foolproof, I'm sure! And hey, Roma?" His eyes were glinting mischievously.

Romano sent him a hard stare. Stupid Spaniard was always unfazed.

"I'll walk you home later." With a wink, he jogged away, grinning the whole time.

Romano scowled. The bastard always walked him home anyway! He didn't need to tell him that!