Episode 1A: Survival of the Adaptable.

Enough patience; hope you like my fan fiction. Quick notice, this isn't a regular fan fiction, so please be resistant.

(Video of Total Drama Island sinking)

Me: Three visits to the original island left it "unstable"…

(Image of thrashed Total Drama Action set and destroyed Total Drama World Tour Jumbo Jet)

Me: …the brief trips to the movie and the rest of the world were too dangerous…

(Video of Pahkitew Island transforming)

Me: …and a cyborg island was nearly destroyed. So we're relocating to a brand new location:

(Flash to me (use my profile picture) standing on a circle of metal filled and surrounded by the ocean)

Me: …an impossibly top secret military base in, below, and above the center of the Bermuda Triangle. I am Joaquín Pallanza, head of Spiral Industries, the world's primary negotiators and designers. After carefully discussing with the producers, I have been named the host of this season. All of the former contestants from the previous seasons are coming, and I even got Chris and Chef competing as well! (Laughter) I can't reveal all the surprises yet…

(Switch to confessional)

Me: …but what I will say is that each contestant will have their own private camera for their confessionals. Bet most of them will be happy about this.

(Return)

Me: 54 challenges, 54 recruits, and three grand cash prizes for the final three! I welcome you… (Zoom out in three stages) to Total! Drama! Recruitment!

(Return to my location)

Me: Welcome back. I will now welcome the 54 people who will be competing for the money. I have to warn you though, they were hard to convince.

(Each of the contestants comes out chained to an automated wheelchair)

Me: Alejandro…

Alejandro: ¡Maldito Incompetente!

Me: ¡Malvado Idiota! Amy…

Amy: You're dead if this ruins my hair!

Me: So lame. Anne Maria…

Anne Maria: What she said!

Me: Copycat. B…

(B gives me an angry look)

Me: Nice to see you too. Beardo…

(Beardo gives me an angry look because his mouth is muffled)

Me: I found those sounds annoying too. Beth…

Beth: You're worse than Chris!

Me: I won't even try to kill you! Blaineley…

Blaineley: You're luck you paid for my medical bill!

Me: I like to be prepared. Brick…

Brick: You do realize that I have an advantage, right?

Me: This isn't military camp. Bridgette…

Bridgette: I too have an advantage.

Me: This isn't just underwater either. Cameron…

Cameron: I prefer my bubble!

Me: Whoops. Chef… (start laughing)

Chef: Why am I in these chains?! I'm not a contestant!

Me (still laughing): You are now! Chris…

Chris: NOT COOL!

Me (still laughing): Tough karma! (stop laughing) Cody…

Cody: At least I'm away from Sierra.

Me: Not for long. Courtney…

(Courtney gives me an angry look because her mouth is muffled)

Me: She REALLY gets on my nerves. Dakota…

Dakota: I CRUSH YOU!

Me: Not for long. Dave…

Dave: Were these shackles washed?

Me: Yes. Dawn… AND NO, YOU MAY NOT READ MY AURA!

Dawn: You're somehow cloaking it anyway. What are you?

Me: Human. DJ…

DJ: I swore not to do this show again!

Me: Sorry dude, your contract is a stronger promise. Duncan…

Duncan: Why do I feel like I'm going to regret accepting this in exchange for prison parole?

Me: Because you will. Ella… And please don't sing yet; you'll need your strength.

Ella: At least you said please.

Me: And that is why I'm not like Chris. Eva…

Eva: JUST WAIT UNTILL I GET OUT OF THESE!

Me: I'm scared. Ezekiel…

Ezekiel (through a headband): After I beat up Chris, you're next! Thanks for the mind speaker anyway.

Me: You're welcome. Geoff…

Geoff: PLEASE tell me that they'll be parties.

Me: Of course there will. Gwen…

Gwen: Why are you doing this?

Me: Don't ask. Harold…

Harold: You're lucky that…

Me: Save your words and mad skills for later. Heather…

Heather: After I get Chris, YOU'RE NEXT!

Me: Get in line. Izzy…

Izzy: YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE! Oh, you're not the RCMP, never mind.

Me: I get that a lot. Jasmine…

Jasmine: How did you manage to get wheelchairs for all of us?

Me: Custom made. Jo…

Jo: Just wait until I bust out of these.

Me: They're pure titanium. Justin…

Justin: This better not ruin my look.

Me: They won't. Katie… And this is in alphabetical order, not friend order.

Katie: Never mind.

Me: Leonard… (Complex magic spell)

Leonard: My butt feels like it's on fire, and I always wash it! You're not human!

Me: I just travel a lot. Leshawna…

Leshawna: You're just lucky you made those portable confessionals.

Me: You're welcome. Lightning…

Lightning: What?! No applause?!

Me: Is he always so self-obsessed?! Lindsay…

Lindsay: Too bad I don't have something to match with these…

Me: You will. Max…

Max: TIME TO EVIL!

Me: (sigh) Mike…

Mike: Aw man…

Me: Noah…

Noah: "How wonderful…"

Me (putting on ear and nose plugs): Owen…

Owen (farting): WHOO-HOO!

Me (removing the plugs): I can still smell him. Rodney…

Rodney: Hi.

Me: Sadie…

Sadie: Could you put me next to Katie?

Me: Sure. Sam…

Sam: Could you put me next to Dakota?

Me: The things I do for a little fun. Sammy…

Sammy: Could you keep Amy in those chains forever?

Me: Nice try. Scarlett (I shiver)…

Scarlett: An automated military base?! NOW I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! (evil laughter)

Me: 1. Everyone will be supervised at all times. 2. Now I remember why you made me miss Heather. Scott… And yes, Fang is helping me.

Scott: WHAT?!

Me: Jerk. Shawn… And yes, the base is zombie-proof.

Shawn: Great!

Me: Sierra…

Sierra: Oh Cody…

Me: No arguing please. Sky…

Sky: How can you not be like Chris when you chained us?!

Me: Chris would have locked you all in lockers, that's how I'm different. Also, you all gave the escorts a beating! Staci…

(Staci's mouth was covered)

Me: I can't introduce anyone with your endless babble! Sugar…

Sugar: Just you wait…

Me: You're repeating everyone else now. Topher…

Topher: WHY AREN'T I THE HOST?!

Me: You have a lot to learn. Trent…

Trent: Couldn't you have used 9 chains?

Me: Not enough titanium or limbs. Tyler…

Tyler: Could you put me next to Lindsey?

Me: I have enough headaches, so no. And Zoey…

Zoey: At least you asked first.

Me: Now would everyone look down.

Everyone saw that their chairs were hovering over the contained water. At the sound of my snapping fingers, the chains disappeared and the chairs dumped them into the water. They all screamed until I took the stairs into the small room that they all fell in and coughed. Then they all gasped at the idea that they were barely wet and that the roof of water they fell through was still intact.

Cameron: How did you…?

Me: Like I said, I travel a lot. Now this may feel a bit warm and stingy.

I push a button, and everyone was zapped by pink lightning. When it was gone, everyone checked themselves and then each other. The room was then filled with gasps as they saw that Ezekiel regained some human resemblance and Dakota was back to her normal self.

Me (check a report by mail): Please wait, this is a medical report. And before you ask, my travels led me to a series of pink crystals. When lightning goes through them, the shocks have healing properties. Ok, Ezekiel, you have human speech again, your hair will grow back again, and your body and instincts will be like that forever; even I don't know how the crystals work. As for you, Dakota, you just have to think about you previous form and you'll change into it. Yes, it works both ways and the rest of you are still the same.

Dakota and Ezekiel (hugging me): THANK YOU!

Me: You're welcome. And please let me go; we still have a lot to do.

I pushed another button. This time, green electricity zapped them all briefly. Before anyone could response, metal tubes burst from the ground, trapping them. They all felt quick pinches before the tubes lowered. When they did, everyone saw that they were all in full-body metal suits that fit them like a second skin. There were small boxes on the ankles, knees, waistlines, palms, back, behind the throat and a simple retractable glass panel on their faces. They all looked at me with questionable looks.

Me: Multi-environment suit. They adapt to their surroundings so the user can survive. They even last an hour in space! The box behind each throat is a life support so you don't suffocate. The others are various propellers so you can move. The one on your palms double as blasters and the ones on your waists as storage units, including the mobile confessional. As for the panels, they also display information about the area or messages. Before you ask about the suits themselves, they're airtight and several times stronger that titanium.

(Switch to confessional)

All: WHOA!

(Return)

Me: Let's go.

I pushed another button, and the room lowered faster than a racecar toward the bottom.

Me: This elevator is going to the bottom of the triangle, nearly 5.6 miles down. Yes, Brick, we lighted the area. Our base is a cylinder, the radius being 100 miles and reaching up to the stratopause, slightly over 31 miles above the surface.

Scarlett: Should we mention how much of that is impossible?

Me: We always adapt and 'impossible' is impossible. If you look to your right, you'll see the contestants' rooms (identified by team colors, of course) orbiting the Intern Center. That's where you'll be going if you're voted off.

Jo: Speaking of teams, may be in the one that's against Lightning?!

Lightning: Hey!

Me: Too late. Alejandro, Beth, Blaineley, Bridgette, Chef, Chris, Cody, Courtney, DJ, Duncan, Eva, Ezekiel, Geoff, Gwen, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Justin, Katie, Leshawna, Lindsay, Noah, Owen, Sadie, Sierra, Trent and Tyler, your colors are blue and gold and your team is the Alpha Hydras. Amy, Anne Maria, B, Beardo, Cameron, Dakota, Dave, Dawn, Ella, Jasmine, Jo, Leonard, Lightning, Max, Mike, Rodney, Sam, Sammy, Scarlett, Shawn, Sky, Staci, Sugar, Topher and Zoey, your colors are red and green and will be henceforth be the Delta Dragons. It's old school vs. new school…

Everyone started complaining at once, not happy with the arrangement. I would usually allow this, but I blasted the siren to silence them.

Me: We're on a schedule, so I'll ruin the "final three" surprise now. Third place gets $100,000, second place $1 million, first place $3 million, so suck it up for a while and don't kill your host, UNDERSTOOD?!

All (in saluting): Sir, yes sir!

(Switch to confessional)

All: SO MUCH MONEY?! And we thought the producers wanted us before!

(Return)

At this time, the elevator reached the bottom of the ocean. Upon landing, it broke apart. Fortunately, everyone had put on their mask before landing. It was so dark that only the lights from their suits provided any illumination.

Brick (scared): Y-y-you said that this area was lighted.

Me: I'll turn them on eventually. For the first challenge, this will be a free-for-all. You can either do it alone or the teams can help each other. This challenge is called, "Survival of the Adaptable!"

(Switch to confessional)

Alejandro, Brick, Bridgette, Courtney, Dakota, Dawn, Duncan, Ezekiel, Gwen, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Jasmine, Jo, Lightning, Mike, Sky, and Zoey: This is going to be too easy!

Everyone else: I'm doomed.

Me: They already have conclusions? And yes, I have access to the tapes. Those people are too easy to predict.

(Return)

Me: There are around 36.6 miles between us and the elimination center/stadium up at the stratopause. The challenge is to get there without getting caught. Yes, the suits' propellers work in the air, too. The first person from each team to get there without being caught becomes the leader of their team and gains immunity. If necessary, I will appoint you a second-in-command to keep you in check. Your new right hands will also get immunity. The entire compound is loaded with applicable armor and stun-only weapons. Also keep in mind that you'll be targeted by booby-traps (and not the kind you may be thinking, Duncan, Harold and Sugar), the area's natural flora and fauna, the mutant wildlife from season 4, and…

With a crazy smile, I snapped my fingers and turned on the lights. Suddenly, the contestants were surrounded by armored beings wearing domed helmets and masks. They had special suits on and carried hunting equipment.

Me: Since these are professionals, I'm giving Chris and Ezekiel a head-start. Get going.

Chris and Ezekiel started swimming, but I deployed my extendable/retractable four-bladed staff and caught them before they got very far.

Chris and Ezekiel: But…

Me: I didn't include myself. (To the others) As much as I'm trying to be nice to Ezekiel, I don't trust him that much. And be honest, Hydras, do you REALLY want Chris McClean to boss you around again?

Hydras: Not really.

Me: Very well, then. GO!

With the sound of my tuba, the contestants blasted up towards the surface. I took this time to place Chris and Ezekiel in a holding sphere that sent them up to the stadium.

Me: Who will lead? Who may scream? Find out (zoom out in three stages) on Total! Drama! Recruitment! (to the hunters) INTERVENE!

Me (with my men): AND DEFEAT!

With that, we all blasted skyward towards our prey.

Now it's your turn. Considering their previous performances, choose a member from each of the new teams to lead them and explain why.

Note: The poll's long closed.