Ciao everyone! ^J^ It's me, Candra. I'm sorry for being sorry that I'm sorry that I haven't updated this fan fic in such a long time. By the way, this is the third version of this chapter, and if you want to read the first two versions, I'll post both of them at the end of the next chapter as an omake.

And if I did something wrong or have something wrong, feel free to correct me. I blame this on Hetalia.

Sadly, I don't speak Italian. So… Italics = Italian. And thoughts are in italics too.

But some words are in Italian because of Italy. XD

Warning: Cursing and death. And maybe suicide. So if you are sensitive to death or suicide or self harm, please turn back. They might be in future chapters.


1. Gone like the Flowers


"Ciao Mama, I'm going out."

"Ciao dear, have a safe trip and don't get kidnapped."

"Sì sì, I know. I'll stay safe."


Maybe moving to Italy wasn't such a bad idea.

No no no, it definitely is a bad idea.

He stopped outside the café.

There his mind goes again.

His mind had been troubling him for the past few weeks, mainly because of moving to Italy and a little because of eating too much pasta and tomatoes.

Pasta is good for you. Tomatoes are good for you too.

He scowled, shoving his hands into his pockets. I don't give a fuck.

Non non non, no cursing. We have to keep this G-rated.

Isn't that French?

That doesn't matter.

Ughhh, just shut up!

Tsuna cried internally at his misery and entered the café, sighing in pleasure at the smell of coffee.

Thank God they serve coffee and not just pasta and wine.

Like I said, pasta is good-

Fuck off, mind.

No cursing…

He ignored his mind and picked a table to sit down to have a peaceful morning.


After saying a thank you to the waiter, Tsuna sipped his coffee and closed his eyes.

Buono tomato buono toma-*

What the hell? Why are you so addicted to tomatoes? And do me a favor and shut up.


"What a lovely shirt you have there."

Tsuna's eyes opened and stared at a baby that decided to join him in his morning break.

Pinching his shirt up with his index finger and thumb, he scoffed. "What's so great about a shirt that say 'Make pasta, not wars?'"

The baby in a dark suit and a matching fedora smirked. "Everything."

I support you my dear, even if you swing the other way.

He blinked. Are you saying that…

Sì, I am.

Well, then fuck you, aggravating mind.

Tsuna sighed. "If you admire my shirt so much, please buy your own shirt. I hate people staring at me."

"But I don't know where to buy it from."

Why don't you take off your shirt and gave it to him for free?

And be naked in public? No thank you.

Tsuna sighed again, louder this time. "You just have to turn around the corner of-"

"I don't care. And I'm not going to remember it anyway."

Fuck you, aggravating stranger.

That's not nice.

When have I ever been nice?

But he's a stranger. Shouldn't you at least try to be nice?

Me? Nice? Me trying to be nice is like world peace. It's not going to happen anytime soon.

"Hello? Hello? Are you still there?"

He rubbed his temple. "Actually, I need to go pick up something for my cat. Ciao. I hope I don't see you again." He waved and threw his cup away, exiting the café with the urge to poison someone.

No more poisoning. Isn't that the reason why you moved here in the first place?

He gritted his teeth. Please shut up. I don't have the patience to deal with you right now.

Me? I am you. Well, the good side of you.

It doesn't matter if you're the good side or the bad side. Just shut up and give me peace. That's not hard to do.

Tsuna, you can't just poison someone and expect to always get away with it. You were close to killing someone before.

Earth would be a much better place without them. Besides, I wasn't close to killing someone. I had already killed them. It was too late.

Tsuna… please… please get a grip…

Hahaha… Get a grip? Can't you see? I already lost myself a long time ago.

Before he knew it, he already arrived at his front door. Exhaling slowly, he opened his door and walked inside.

His mother was sitting at the table, staring at the picture of her husband, his father. Well, his ex-father. Tsuna decided to disown him when his father didn't visit him when he was sick. On the outside and inside.

His mother, Nana, had been heartbroken when that bastard wouldn't answer her calls.

That jerk of a father. Maybe it was a good idea to come here. I have a hunch he's in this country.

So you finally agree with me, huh? I have a hunch too.

No, you've just finally agreed with yourself. But there's still this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach…

True to his mind's words, he had a bad feeling. It scared him with the possibility of the things that could happen to both him and his mother.

Tsuna wrapped his arms around his mother's thin body, sending her invisible messages of comfort.

"Ne, Tsu-kun, do you think… he will come back?" his mother whispered in her native language, a tear landing on her shirt.

"If you believe he will, then he will, Okaa-san," he answered back in a soothing voice, hugging his mother a bit tighter.

But he knew better. That asshole won't ever come back. Even still, he couldn't bear to see his mother heartbroken, so he can only give words of reassurance.

I swear to God if I see her cry again, I will tear up the streets and search everywhere to find that damn bastard. I know he's in this country. I just do.

"Then… I want to believe that he will…"

But he won't.

"Un… he will…"


After making sure his mother was still asleep, he closed the front door as softly as he can, closing his eyes and leaning on the door.

I wish she had married someone else more capable to take care of her. I bet that jerk face is doing something illegal.

Tsuna chose not to answer, getting off the door and started to walk to the café he went to yesterday.

I know you're hoping to meet that baby again.

Actually, no. I don't hope so.



You just called yourself a bitch.

I thought you didn't curse.

I thought you didn't care.

"Whatever," he muttered, sitting down in an empty seat. He ordered some coffee and waited, closing his eyes again to try to think, but someone interrupted him.

"Hm? You really do have an interest in funny shirts, don't you?"

Tsuna didn't answer, mentally rolling his eyes at the baby.

"Are you still alive?"

Sighing loudly, his eyes snapped open, glaring at the damn baby. "Can't you goddamn read? My shirt fucking says, 'Danger: My mood swing is coming in five minutes. You have been warned.' I don't have time to deal with shit right now. Go away."

Wow. I never knew you have periods.

I don't! I don't need periods to have mood swings!

"So you are alive after all. I though you were dead." The baby smirked, sipping his espresso.

"Well, I was dead, but your fucking annoying voice pulled me back into life. Thank you."

My, you can never be nice. Or say a few sentences without cursing.

I can do that! Not the nice part, but the cursing part.

I will be very surprised to see that happen.

Then I'll surprise you into silence, bastard.

You just insulted yourself.

I don't give a damn-

"Earth to this wonderful stranger! Are you there?"

He obviously noted the sarcasm in the other's voice, but decided to ignore it.

"Thank you for the wonderful compliment. I need to get going. My mama is going to get worried if I don't go home soon." Tsuna crumbled his cup and threw it away, just like yesterday. He walked out of the café with the urge to poison someone, just like yesterday. But why did he have a feeling when he get home, it won't be the same like yesterday? Unlike yesterday, he felt sick to his stomach, his head throbbing with pain. Was he trying to tell himself something? That something was wrong?

The walk to his house was eerie. It unnerved him, but he didn't show it.

No… no… something is very wrong…

Thank you for pointing out the obvious, Captain Obvious. Your skills are getting better.

Tsuna, now is not the time to joke around.

Like I don't already know.

Tsuna… Your mother…

That thought instantly made him ran, ran faster than he ever had before. He panicked, his heart beating so loudly in his chest that he could hear it.

No… I can't… I won't… Please don't let that be true…

He skidded to a stop in front of his door, panting heavily, but that didn't stop him from slamming the door open. He smelt a metallic liquid.

No… it can't be… mother…

I knew it… that feeling…

It was like a scene from one of his nightmare. Crimson liquid decorated his mother's body and the floor around her, unbelievably real. His mother's body was thrown against a wall, her once beautiful brown hair tangled, leaving a trail of red that he hated. In her right hand was a knife. Not one of those kitchen knives, but those thin and sharp knives one would have when harming someone. It seemed that his mother had fought a bit. That thought made him smile, but the smile couldn't stay long, for the death of his mother was a thing that surpassed the other good things. There were four holes in her chest, right where her heart was, and a knife sticking out of her throat.

Tsuna felt even sicker, wanting to puke at the sight of the crimson liquid pooling around his mother's body, but he held it in and wobbled to his mother. There was so much blood. Her blood.

This can't be happening… Not again...

It was like the repeat of that day… when he bathed in his own blood. Shaking his head to get rid of the memory, he cupped his mother's face with his hands. The liquid stained his pants, but he didn't give a damn right then. His mother was his first priority.

"Okaa-san?" Tsuna murmured, praying that this was all a silly prank his mother decided to do. But he knew. He knew this wasn't a prank. His mother was dead. Killed. Murdered.

If you had told him a few years back that he could cry, he would have laughed in you face and thought you were crazy. But he felt liquid dripping down his chin, mixing with the red puddle beneath him. He patted his face in confusion.

"What… what is this? Are… are these tears? Am I crying? But… I couldn't cry. I can't cry. I have to be strong… for my Okaa-san, for myself. After all, isn't Okaa-san gone?" He let out a hollowed laugh, hands dropping down to the ground, making a tiny splash. Tsuna shook his head. "No… it must be raining outside… It must be…" He slowly turned to the window, but it wasn't raining. Not even a dark cloud. It was still a beautiful day, even though he had just lost his mother, the only person who could understand him. And she was gone. Just like that. Gone. Gone like the dead Birds of Paradise in the vase on the dinner table.

Tsuna turned back to his mother again, sniffing.

"Okaa-san…" He reached out desperately, caressing his mother's cheek. He kissed her forehead. "Remember when you said you want me to be happy? When you said you want me to enjoy life? Well, I can't enjoy life and be happy if you aren't here. What am I suppose to do, Okaa-san?" He tucked a strand of matted brown hair behind her ear. "I love you very much, Okaa-san. I hope you rest in peace. Nobody should be able to disturb you now." Then he remembered something. "Okaa-san, do you remember when you said you believe he will come back? Well, I will make your wish come true. I'll end his life so that you and him can meet each other again. Would you like that, Okaa-san? I promise I'll make your wish come true… I promise."

Tsuna took the knife out of her hand and set both of her hands on her lap, making it look like that she was resting and the crimson liquid was just tomato sauce.

After he had done so, he stood up and turned around, gripping the knife tighter in his hand. At that moment, the door opened.

"Welcome to the mafia, Dame-Tsuna. Oh wait, you were already involved. Should we throw you a welcome back party just for you so you can settle in? Hm? What do you say, Dame-Tsuna?"

The baby narrowed his eyes when he saw Tsuna's eyes.

"Hey, Dame-Tsuna, why are your eyes yellow?"


Yes! Finally done! I started working on this chapter (from scratch) three days ago, I think. Wow, I can actually get things done.

The Birds of Paradise (flowers) symbolize joyfulness, magnificence, and indicate exciting and wonderful anticipation. In this case, the Birds of Paradise symbolize joyfulness, and them dying means no more joy. To Tsuna at least.

*Buono Tomato- The Delicious Toamto song by South Italy, Romano.

Well, this was a descriptive chapter. I never knew I could describe this much.

The next chapter might be longer. This one is only 2000 words, which sucks, but I just want to get this out. At least you know that this story is continuing, and I'm still alive. XD

Peace guys, have fun with life. Ciao~