Chapter Twelve – Fuck The Police!

"Ah, what the hell did I drink last night?" Alex groaned, holding his throbbing head. Damn, that drink must be really damn strong if it made him fucking drunk.

He tried to sit up from his bed...wait a minute, why was his bed hard all of a sudden?

"The fuck?"

Why was he on the floor? Why was he naked?! And WHY is HIS house a fucking MESS?!

'Oh, Lexie, already forgot that you're now a full-fledged man.' Dana grinned in his mind

'The hell are you talkin' about?'

Dana just smirked and faded from his mind for now. Odd, normally Dana would annoy him close to death but why was she leaving him alone?

"Aaaahhh..." A soft yawn sounded beside him and Alex's head almost snapped off at the speed.

No, it can't be...this was just some sick dream, hell, a fucking nightmare! No way! NO FUCKING WAY IN FUCKING HELL WAS THIS HAPPENING!

There, right beside him, was the naked and sexy ass body of Elise. The bitch was still sleeping but WHY was she sleeping here...and not to mention NAKED?!

After wracking his brain for answers, he got them...but there was one problem.

'You wanna see the movie?' Dana asked sweetly and began playing her masterpiece of Alex and Elise getting it on like rabbits.

Alex, in a fit of embarrassment, grabbed a pice of wood and drove it in his eyes in an effort to crave those horrid images out. Why won't these goddamn...oh right.

The virus sighed as his eyes regenerated. No use in running from it. Well, he just hoped he didn't cum in the...right hole.

Beside him, Elise began to stir. Fuck.

"Man, what a night." She stretched.

"Yeah, too bad for my house." Alex growled at state of his house. Shit, this was gonna take weeks to repair.

The bitch ass devil called Elise just giggled at his misfortune and Alex grabbed her by the neck so she was face to face with him.

"Oooohh, looks like someone's a little crankyyyyyy." Oh, this little bitch was still annoying as ever. Fuck her...shit.

Seeing as this was a lost cause, Alex smiled and trailed his tongue all over her neck. "You shut up, little bitch." Elise, despite her pleasure, still heard that and thwacked the bastard upside the head.

"And you're still..." She stopped dead when Alex forced his lips onto hers as hard and as wild as last night. Damn this man to the deepest pits of hell.

Alex just wanted her to shut the hell up but this kiss was still welcomed...if it weren't for his dear sister snickering in the background.

After they got dressed, Elise at least had the decency, if she had any, to help out in the cleaning. Wow, they really brought the house down.

"This is gonna take forever!" She wailed as a bucket hit her on the head.

"Shut the fuck up and work!" Alex roared from the kitchen and Elise rubbed the bump on her head.

Grumbling about how Alex was a shithead, Elise began cleaning her share. Stupid Alex trying to make the great Elise clean?! Who was he to boss her around?!

Oh, yeah. Technically he was her boss. FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!

But at least they had one hellava night...excluding the injuries, everything went extremely ggooooooooooddd.

Throwing away Alex's busted shit, He and Elise crashed on the couch and it was late afternoon.

"Okay, now what?"

Elise gave a hungry smirk. "Well, I cam think of a few things." She straddled him and Alex did little to protest.

"There goes my home." Alex chuckled and wrapped his hands around her waist.

"Well, you got me." Elise said licking his cheek as Alex slid his hands up her shirt, grazing his nails all over her body.

"And that's a good thing?"

"Just shut up and kiss me, you emo fuck."

Before their lips could even meet in a rematch of the ages, there was a loud knocking on the door, making both of them growl in sexual rage.

"I'll snap their necks and bury their carcass, you say it was an accident." Alex suggested and Elise grinned.

"I'm in." Yep, great minds think alike...that's a good thing right?

Alex sauntered over to the peephole on the door and his eyes widened in shock and slight fear. "IT'S THE FUCKING HEAT!" This revelation also made Elise go ape shit.

"WHAT?!" She pushed Alex away to confirm his claim. Was it wrong to doubt this fuck? Well, he wasn't lying. Shit.

"The hell are they doing here?" She asked Alex who just shrugged. There was a knock again.

"Is anybody present?" The pigs asked again.

"Okay, okay. No need to panic." Alex said but Elise was far from, that's usual.

"Calm?! The cops are here!" She wailed silently. She was not going in the big house, she had so much to live for! Bullshit.

Alex sighed. "Why? Did you do something?"

Elise thought back to about a week ago...


It was a bright peaceful day. Nothing was out of place, people were enjoying the rays of the sun and just having fun.

Ah, yes it would he such a special day...

"Get your fucking hands off me!" Aw, hell.

Two police officer was dragging a very drunk Elise over to their car. Drunk, why? Because she can that's why.

"Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to be quiet." One officer said.

"Fuck you." Elise slurred.

"And mind the language." Since when.

"Suck a dick." See?

Just about Elise was about to be thrown in the car, she kicked the first one in the nuts and headbutted the other one. She took off their pants and wrote on their ass cheeks "Fuck the police!"

Then she ran like hell, laughing like the banshee she is.


Elise shook her head. "Not a clue." Alex raised an eyebrow at her, unconvinced.

"Psh, and I'm the queen." He chuckled and Elise glared at him.

"Oh, yeah? And why the hell are you hiding?"

Alex began to think back a week ago...

*Flashback Again*

Alex was driving on the would be driving if he wasn't so focused his clash of clans game.

He didn't even notice that he ran over an old lady.

"What the hell? Hey, can't you see I'm playing - I mean, driving here?!" Yeah, like the dead can hear him anyway.

*Present Bullshit*

Alex blinked a few times. "Nope, not a clue." He shrugged.

'Hmm, could've sworn I heard that on the news.' Dana murmured. 'Oh, that one.'

Elise just sighed. Might as well face the music. "If I go down, I'm taking you with me."

"And if I go down, at least I can boast I fucked you up." For that, Alex got a kick in the nuts that made him double over in pain.

"Moron." She grumbled with a slight hint of a blush and opened the door.

"Is there something the matter, officer?" She asked civilly.

"Uh, is he okay?" One pointed over to Alex who was kneeling and groaning.

"Eh, don't worry about him. Ran his mouth and that's what he gets." Elise smirked as Alex started to get up.

"Someday, but not today."

"Good Lexie."

The officers cleared their throats. "Are you Ms. Elise Abigail McMillan?"

"Why yes. Yes, I am."

"And are you Mr. Alex J. Frost?"


"We have been contacted by your parents that you have been kidnapped by Mr. Alex here miss."

Well, at least these two's...incidents were in the clear.

Elise rubbed her chin. "Uh huh. Say Alex, do I look like I was kidnapped?" She pointed to herself and Alex gave her a once over.

Alex shrugged. "Do kidnap victims usually look like this? I always thought they'd be tied up and or raped in your case." Elise gave him an elbow which he didn't feel.

"That may be, but we have been ordered to escort Ms. Elise back to her home and arrest you."

A moment of silence ensued until...

"Look! Is that a box of doughnuts!" Elise pointed behind them and the two shits did.

"WHERE?!" They saw none. "Nice try, ma'am but-"

They were looking at a swinging pocket watch. "You are going into a deep sleep. When I snap my fingers, you will obey my every command."


Out like a light.

"So, what do you want them to do?" Alex asked before the two maniacs grinned.

"When you get to the car, take turns in raping each other." Alex said.

"When you get to your headquarters, proclaim that you two are sex addicts and just had sex in your car." Elise was just loving this.

"Tell your chief that he has the world's shortest dick. Even an ant was larger than his junk." What Alex said made Elise laugh.

"Okay, okay. And tell them that Elise is now nowhere in London but in Brazil!"

Alex just smirked and turned to the still sleeping victims. "When I snap my fingers, you will awake and do the things we said." He snapped his fingers amd the cops made a mad dash towards their car.

Alex slam,ed the door shut as he and the bitch laughed their asses off. They plopped down on the couch.

"Shit, you know what they say, right?"

"Yeah." The two turned to the readers.