AN: Hey readers! This is a departure from my other story, The Fox's Shadow. If you loike Naruto, check it out! This is just a humorous idea I had onenight and thought of sharing it! Enjoy!
Elemental Nation News: Weather Forecast With Omoi.
Good afternoon denizens of the Elemental Nations, Omoi here with the latest weather forecast and such!
*A screen flickers on broadcasting a green screen of the Elemental Countries*
Firstly, let's start with the Land of Fire. There will be a nice balance of rain and sunshine folks, so it's going to be nice to be in Tanzaku Gai, or Konoha if that's where you're heading! Although I shudder to think of what could happen if the weather stays like that. You know, because if it does, what would happen if everyone becomes so complacent in dealing with the weather they forget how to deal with dynamic changes in climate? What if there's a freak snowstorm and everyone in the Land of Fire is ill-equipped to deal with it? And what if...!
*Omoi is hit by a cue card, courtesy of Karui.*
Sorry about that, folks.
Next, let's move onto the Land of Wind. Sunny and hot as always, with sandstorms brewing in the western areas, so make sure you stay inside if you live in Suna. But what if it isn't enough? What would happen if you decide to venture out because you just happen to run out of foodstuffs when the storm hits, and you have to feed your family of five or they'll starve from malnutrition because the storm lasts for weeks on end? What if you get lost in the raging storm and are buried underneath a mountain of sand, never to be heard from again? What if...?
*Once again, Karui hits Omoi and tells him to stop speculating on things*
Once again, I apologize everyone.
Moving on to the Land of Earth! It's going to be mild and chilly folks, as usual; so make sure you dress warmly and don't linger outside longer than you have to! I know it's unlikely but, if you don't there's a chance that a freak rock slide could prematurely end your life, leaving your loved ones and friends to declare war on the very earth itself! But how would the battle be won if the entire landscape is made entirely of earth? What happens when the war goes south and the rocks and stones decided to encite massive genocide against human beings as we know it, and decide their conquest of the Land of Earth isn't enough, and spread their bloody campaign across the Elemental Nations! What if they...!?
Karui: Seriously Omoi! Don't make me hit you again! Get back on track, or so help me, Kami...!
Ahem. I really do apologize everyone. Really. No need to hit me again Karui.
On to The Land of Lightning! My favorite place in the world! It's cloudy as always guys, so visibility is low. Be careful if you're planning a trip to Kumo or the nearby bounty stations! I can't help but wonder what would happen if you ended up losing your way in the fog and fell into a deep crevice! Or if you happened to get marooned on a mountain top that you couldn't scale down because you can't find a decent foot hold! Or what if...!?
*Karui swings a cue card at Omoi, that he dodges, only to smacked in the face during Karui's returning swipe*
Ouch. Really Karui! I'm just saying it's a possibility!
Next, we have the Land of Water. It's cool and misty folks, not to mention wet! So make sure you pack your umbrellas if you're heading out to Kiri this season! I hear it's also monsoon season, so you'll want to be extra careful if you're traveling by boat. Because, say you're on a boat that departed from the Land of Waves and the monsoon hits with no warning whatsoever! What can you do? It would be worse if the boat capsized, sending you and everyone aboard into the rough, unforgiving waters of the ocean! AND what happens when you happen to fall into a group of ravenous shark's hunting waters? I shudder, SHUDDER to think of what would happen when they...!
*Karui pulls out her katana and waves it threateningly at Omoi's face. He does not need any more prompting.*
All right. I know you're probably tired of hearing it from me folks, but I sincerely apologize. Kami: I'm starting to sound like Darui!
Darui: Hey, sorry I'm so dull!
Nothing personal Darui! Anyway, that pretty much concludes the weather report. I'd tell you about the Land of Snow, but I'm pretty sure we all know what's going to be happening there. If you don't, you need to get your head examined. But, let's just say for example: a freak blizzard appears out of nowhere and...
Karui: THAT'S IT OMOI! I'VE HAD IT! PREPARE TO FACE YOUR DOOM!
NOOO, KARUI! NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!
Samui: So not cool. Sorry about that. Now to Might Guy with Sports.
AN: Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, let me know!