So, we're back to doing Grojband episodes! This one is based on "Monster of Rock" and was requested by Kinghammer Publishing. I don't have much else to say. This one's short and not very special.
"Thank you, Tranquil Town!" Corey announced after he strummed a final chord on stage in the garage as his friends watched him from the couch.
"Nah, too cliche." Kin commented.
"Yeah, but it's nice to thank people." Laney pointed out.
Kon was struggling to open a bag of chips. "I'd thank anyone who could open this impossibly-hard-to-open snack-food packaging!"
"Maybe all it needs is a unique edge." Jackie claimed. "Something that makes it scream 'no one else has done this before'."
"Okay. How about…thank you, Tranquil Town!"
Corey flicked his guitar pic into the air, causing it to bounce off the walls of the garage and straight towards the other band members. The four dove off the couch and the pic sliced open Kon's bag of chips.
"Whoa! Awesome pic flick!" Jackie exclaimed. "I don't know any rock musician that's done that!"
"Mm…thank you, Corey!" Kon added with his mouth full.
"You know, if we're really gonna be original, we should try ripping off the Typicals!" Kin suggested. "No one was more original than them!"
"Those guys were super underground!" Kon went on. "They did the opposite of what was popular, that's what made them popular!"
"Um…guys? Even if you rip off someone original, that still makes you the opposite of original." Jackie stated.
"Jacks is right." Laney agreed. "No one likes a copycat. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I feel more insulted that the Newmans copied our schtick."
"Wait! I know how we can be original!" Corey beamed. "The Typicals were a metaphorical underground band. So…what if we were a literal underground band? As in, we'll have gigs underground in the sewers!"
"Sewers? Eww…" Jackie gagged. "No one's going to come to a Grojband concert in the sewers! Not even me! It's not normal!"
"But the Typicals did what was opposite of normal, Jackie, and they became huge!" Kin reminded her. "If it worked for them, it can work for us!"
"I think it's a great idea too!"
The band turned to see Tracy and Macy entering the garage.
"The sewers is the perfect place for Sewageband! Because you stink! BAM!"
"Bam indeed." Macy nodded.
Upon hearing her sister insult her favorite band, Jackie immediately changed her tune.
"You take that back! Grojband can make the gig of the century from even the smelliest and dirtiest of places!"
"Gig of the century? Please." Tracy scoffed. "You couldn't make happen the gig of the century even if you had like 100 years of centuries!"
The mean teen whispered to Macy. "But I could ruin that gig in one afternoon! Hee, hee, hee!"
"Uh, should I giggle too?" Macy asked.
"You don't even know what my plan is, so how can you giggle? Now move it!"
The taller girl pushed the nerdy girl outside.
"Wow, Jacks! Glad to see you changed your mind about my plan!" Corey observed.
"Oh, it's still a terrible plan." Jackie said point-blankly. "I just jump at any opportunity to prove Tracy wrong. Plus, I guess no band has ever played in the sewers before."
"That's because of El Chewpoocaacaa." Kin replied.
Laney was concerned. "What's El Chewpoocaacaa?"
"What's El Chewpoocaacaa?!" Kin repeated, getting in Laney's face. "It's a giant, hairy sewer monster who steals kids out of their own bathrooms!"
"While they're making…poooopies…" Kon whispered ominously.
"Then, it fattens them up with sweets until it's time to cook em!" Kin finished.
Jackie giggled. "You mean, like the witch from Hansel and Gretel? C'mon guys, that's just silly. Anyway, if this monster is real, how come it's never attacked before?"
"It's been hibernating for hundreds of years." Kin explained. "But believe me, if it wasn't, you would probably be its first victim. I mean, with your pretty face, who wouldn't wanna kidnap you?"
"Wow. I don't know whether to be flattered because you called me pretty, or paranoid because someone could take me at any moment."
"I know. Guess that's why they always said beauty is a curse."
TOILET PAPER WIPE!
"I don't know," Laney said once they were all down in the sewers. "This place is kinda gross."
Jackie was turning green. "What do you mean 'kinda'?! It smells so bad not even the cockroaches want to stick around!"
"Bugs are smart like that." Corey stopped walking, making Laney bump into him. "Hey, I know what to do besides stop suddenly! Let's test the reverb in here! Kin? You know what to do."
Kin got out a full bottle of soda. "Good, cause I'm actually pretty thirsty."
And then, the nerdy scientist proceeded to chug the entire bottle. With each sip, Kon could feel the gas in his stomach building. Jackie, Corey, and Laney plugged their ears just as Kon let out a deafening belch that echoed all the way down to the end of the tunnel, where unbeknownst to the heroes, something big and hairy was sleeping.
Just above this slumbering creature's home, were Tracy and Macy, the latter whom had gathered up four barrels of toxic waste to dump into the sewer. Macy opened up one of the barrels.
"Whoa! I didn't know the Cutie Pie makeup factory produced so much toxic waste!"
Tracy was using one of the company's powder kits.
"They can do whatever they want if it means my face stays super gorge. Now stop talking and start dumping!"
Macy lifted up the heavy barrel and tilted it into the sewer grate.
"ROAR!" a noise came from underground.
"W-W-What was that?" Macy worried.
"Duh! The sound of my sister realizing she failed and breaking down crying!"
Jackie and the gang also heard the sound and jumped in surprise.
"Seriously, Kon? Can't you at least say 'excuse me'?" Jackie requested.
"That wasn't me." Kon corrected her. "But man, if I could belch on cue like that, I'd be so unstoppable!"
The drummer began to imagine different scenarios of him using his gassy power, like propelling himself on a jetski, blowing up humongous balloons, and changing TV channels. But his favorite was one that involved Jackie and Kin.
"Hey Jackie? I've been meaning to tell you something for a long time now."
"What's up, Kin?"
"Sorry, Kin. What did you say?"
"Um, I was trying to say that-"
"What I meant was-"
"Oh, forget it! I can't even express my feelings in a fantasy!"
The daydream Kon and the real Kon snickered simultaneously. But his fantasizing was interrupted by another loud roar and then the gang was face-to-face with a green, slimy sewer monster with sharp teeth and even sharper claws.
"W-What is that?!" Jackie feared.
"El Chewpoocaacaa!" Kin covered his eyes. "Ay-yi-yi!"
"I'll save us!"
Kon pushed the others back, took a deep breath, and belched loudly in the monster's face. But the most that did was leave the monster briefly confused before becoming even more angry.
"Let's get outta here!" Corey screamed.
The five made a beeline for the exit, the monster right behind them. Once they made it back above ground, Kin and Kon blocked off the manhole cover with a trash can and a bench and proceeded to sit on it.
"Yes! Another monster we believe in is real!" Kin high-fived Kon.
At that moment, Tracy showed up.
"Back so soon? Guess you couldn't do your sewer show because of something super dangerous, am I right?"
"Yeah!" Jackie nodded. "There's a crazy sewer monster on the loose!"
"Who said anything about some dumb monster? So lame."
Macy heard her phone go off. "Ooh! Rick Salary just bleated: 'Rick digs monsters. Gonna go scope the new Stakeneck movie.'"
The popular boy passed by on his scooter. "Rick Salary tells people about things he likes."
"Tracy Matthews tells people too!" Tracy swiped Macy's phone. "Look! I'm bleating about unlame monsters right now!"
"But you said-"
Tracy slapped a hand over Macy's mouth. "We're going to that movie! Once Stakeneck eats his own neck or whatever, I'll be all 'I'm so scared' and Rick'll be all 'I'm gonna cuddle you until you're not scared anymore'!"
"Stakeneck doesn't have a neck. He can't eat it."
Tracy taped Macy's mouth shut. "And now you don't have a mouth and can't yap. Now hurry up!"
Once the teenagers were gone, Jackie and Grojband got into a huddle.
"Well, so much for being an underground band." Laney groaned. "What now, Core?"
"No sweat, Lanes. We can still have a rocking concert on the surface! Let's head back to the garage so I can think of a crazy plan that just might work!"
And so they all started walking home.
"So if we can't play in the sewers anymore, what are we supposed to do for the gig?" Laney asked.
"Maybe we should just cancel it." Jackie suggested.
At this point, the gang had just reached the house.
Corey gasped. "Cancel?! Grojband doesn't know the meaning of the word cancel, Jacks! Anyway, it's too late. The groupies are already handing out invites to all the kids in Tranquil Town."
To the band's shock, Kelsey and Alyssa popped up out of nowhere, holding a full stack of papers.
"All what kids?"
"They're all gone, Corey! We didn't get to invite a single one!"
"Gone? That's ridiculous. Where could they have gone to?" Jackie wondered.
"Oh no!" Kin panicked. "Now that El Chewpoocaacaa's been awoken, it's kidnapping children again! Which means…"
The keyboardist shoved a shovel into Jackie's hands.
"Jackie, for your safety, you'll need to do your business in the backyard from now on. Can't risk losing our prettiest band member."
Jackie handed back the shovel. "Now hold on Kin, there's no proof that the monster's responsible for all this. Nobody's actually seen it take anybody away, right girls? …Girls?"
But the groupies were no where to be found. Next to an open sewer grate, Jackie spotted two phones and picked them up. Both screens displayed a chat between Kelsey and Alyssa and their most recent message.
"What does 'GRRGLFT' mean?"
"Oh no! Jackie get back!" Kin dragged Jackie away from the grate. "Before it takes you too!"
"This is crazy," Laney began. "From the looks of it, we're the only kids left in the whole town!"
"Which means it's up to us to get the rest of them back!" Corey declared. "I've got a crazy plan that just might work! To the bathroom!"
Meanwhile, at the movie theater, Rick was in the front row watching 'Stakeneck' and drinking from a large soda cup that Tracy forced Macy to buy.
"Ahh…soda bubbles tickle Rick Salary's nose."
Tracy popped out of the huge popcorn bucket next to him.
Rick got up from his seat. "Rick has to use the little Ricks' room."
Macy came out of the soda cup with a snorkel.
"Can I please come out now? My skin is burning…"
EXACTLY TWO MINUTES LATER!
The girls stood waiting outside the mens' room. Tracy was becoming impatient.
"Ugh! It's been two whole minutes and Rick hasn't come out yet! He is not getting out of this date! Move!"
Macy tried to stop her. "But you'll get in trouble if you go in the boys' room!"
"Uh, you mean we'll get in trouble."
The taller girl forcefully pushed the nerdette into the boys' room. Upon entering, the first thing they noticed was one of the stalls completely destroyed and a huge hole where its toilet used to be.
"Eek!" Macy shrieked. "Rick must have gone down there!"
"Well if he thinks that I won't go down a nasty sewer pipe just to save our date, he's right. Which is why you're going to go down first so they'll be clean for me."
Tracy gave Macy a push and she fell down the hole. Macy shuddered as she slithered down the disgusting pipes.
"Do it for Tracy…do it for Tracy…do it for Tracy…"
Back at the house, Grojband had gathered in the bathroom to discuss Corey's plan.
"So, what's on your mind, Core?" Jackie questioned.
"Simple, Jacks. I don't know what made that thing wake up in the first place, but putting it back to sleep will be easy! We just need to soothe it with a lullaby."
"How are we supposed to find it?" Laney pointed out. "There's miles of sewers!"
"Which is why one of us needs to act as bait so it will come to us!"
"Fine. But it can't be Jackie!" Kin hugged the manager. "She's too precious."
"I can see why you're so worried about Jackie being taken by El Chewpoocaacaa, Kin." Kon claimed. "Even a gross sewer monster has a better chance of courting her than you."
The next thing Kon knew, he was forcefully set on the toilet and almost immediately, a green hand began pulling him down. With no hesitation, Kin pushed down on the flusher, sending his brother away.
"GRRGLFT!" a faint voice came from the toilet.
"Huh. So that's what it means." Jackie noted. "Well, we better go find out where that monster took him."
"Do we have to?" Kin replied bitterly.
Jackie gave Kin a harsh glare and dragged him out of the bathroom. Corey and Laney followed.
Once the gang was back in the sewers, Jackie strapped a full bottle of soda on Kin's back.
"Okay Kin, hope you're thirsty, cause we're not leaving till we've found the beast's lair! Now use your weird twin powers so we can track Kon!"
Jackie pushed a straw into the keyboardist's mouth and he took a sip. They all listened for a belch.
They moved down to another tunnel and Kin took another sip.
Jackie lifted Kin into a pipe on the ceiling. He took yet another sip and jumped down.
"Nothing! I hope we find him soon, I think my teeth are starting to dissolve."
Suddenly, the four heard a belch from the opposite end of the sewers.
"Bingo!" Jackie cried.
Following the sound, they made it to a room with a big black cauldron in the middle. Sitting in the cauldron, was the band's drummer, with an apple in his mouth and his eyes closed.
"Kon! Oh no! He's…gone!" Jackie shrieked.
Kon sat up in the cauldron and ate the apple.
"Hey guys! Glad you could make it! Isn't this place awesome? El Chewpoocaacaa's not so bad after all! So far since I've been here, I've gotten a free body massage and a hot tub! How cool is that?"
"Dude! The Chewpoocaacaa is cooking you!" Corey informed him.
"Oh…" Kon lifted his shirt. "That explains the pineapple rings. And that cage of children."
The biggest band member was referring to a boarded-up tunnel in the corner of the room where Kelsey, Alyssa, and all the other kids of Tranquil Town were being held.
"Hi Corey!" the groupies waved.
"Oh no! It's Chewpoo!" Corey pulled Kon out of the cauldron and he and the others jumped into another boarded-up pipe to hide in.
Jackie rushed to join them, but tripped on the way. Before she could make another move, the beast came inside, dragging Rick Salary behind it.
"The floor is rough on Rick Salary's face. Oh, hey Jackie Matthews."
El Chewpoocaacaa dropped Rick upon seeing Jackie. She tried slithering away but it grabbed her with its huge hand.
"Gasp! It's got Jackie!" Kin whispered.
The monster looked over the poor 14-year-old girl as she shivered with fear.
"Um…nice to make your acquaintance?"
Chewpoo held Jackie up to its nostrils and sniffed, causing her hair to nearly go up its nose. Then it gave her a wet, slimy lick all over her body.
The creature smiled, satisfied with how the manager smelled and tasted. It picked Rick back up with its other hand and promptly dropped both teens into the cauldron.
"Huh. This is kinda nice…it is like being in a hot tub. I would totally be screaming right now if this water wasn't so soothing."
"Rick wouldn't scream either way. Even in the face of certain death, he's still gotta maintain his coolness."
"See? What did I tell you guys?" Kin whispered. "If someone looks good and smells good, it only makes sense they would taste good! We have to save Jackie!"
"Don't worry!" Corey assured him. "We just need to put the monster back to sleep! Let's rock that lullaby!"
"But you can't use just any ol' lullaby!" Kin claimed.
Kon nodded. "Yeah, according to our made-up legend, El Chewpoocaacaa will only fall asleep to a monster lullaby."
"And, you're monstrously lacking in the lyric department." Laney commented.
"Not a problem! If hunky Rick Salary's here, that must mean…"
Tracy's voice could be heard from afar. She and Macy were approaching the creature's lair, stepping in a green liquid on the way.
"Gross! Who dumps toxic waste in a sewer?"
Corey continued. "We need Tracy to write us a little something for our hairy friend. And from the looks of it, we don't have to lift a finger for her to do it!"
"Stupid, nasty sewer." Tracy grumbled as she entered the room. "Rick better thank his lucky stars he's worth getting my hair filth-gasp!"
El Chewpoocaacaa was stirring the soup Jackie and Rick were standing in right as Tracy walked in.
"Take cover!" Corey ducked. "She's gonna blow!"
"What is Rick doing with that hideous thing?!" Tracy shrieked.
"It looks like it's cooking him in a stew!" Macy observed.
"I know what the monster's doing, Macy. I was talking about the hideous thing sitting next to Rick in that weird-looking hot tub!"
"Hey!" Jackie was offended.
"This isn't fair!" Tracy began to turn red. "Rick seriously left a date with me to go on a date with my monstrous little sister?!"
The teenager blasted into the air surrounded by green skulls. Her diary and pen flew into her hands and she wrote furiously across the pages. Bursts of flames blew out of every manhole in the city. Soon though, the pen had burned out and Tracy landed back on the ground. Her diary, however, landed in Corey's hand as usual.
"Tracy, are you okay?" Macy asked.
"C'mon Macy! We're outta here!"
"But…what about Rick?"
"Relax. He'll come crawling back to me once he realizes how awful Jackie is."
Once the two teens left, El Chewpoocaacaa licked its lips and using a big spoon, lifted Jackie out of the pot. It opened its huge, slimy mouth and drew her closer to it.
"Eek!" she covered her eyes.
"Hey, doo-doo brains!"
The beast turned its attention towards Grojband, who had their instruments ready.
"If I were you, I wouldn't be going to bed with a full stomach!"
Corey started to sing.
Good night, you ugly thing
Your skin is scaly and disgusting
Why don't you crawl back in your cave
And have sweet dreams?!
You big greasy creep!
El Chewpoocaacaa felt its eyelids getting heavier with each word and it yawned. Jackie could feel the monster's grip on her getting looser.
You stink like a pile of butts and shoes
Ooze away, snooze!
Big icky creep!
At long last, the beast closed its eyes and fell into a deep slumber. Jackie was released from its hand and fell face first on the floor.
"Thank you, Tranquil Town!"
Corey flicked his guitar pic and it bounced off of the sewer walls, the cauldron, and finally the lock holding up all of the town's children. The pic sliced the lock in half and the door opened.
"YAY!" the kids cheered causing the monster to stir slightly.
"Yay…" they cheered much quieter and tiptoed their way out. Kelsey and Alyssa stayed behind.
"We'd stay for the encore, but we're super, super scared!"
The groupies ran off right as Jackie met up with her friends.
"Phew! Thanks for the save, guys. Being kidnapped is one thing, but now I'm more paranoid someone might try to eat me in the future."
"Well, we always knew you had good taste!" Corey joked.
LET'S WRAP THIS UP TRANSITION!
A while later, the band had managed to seal up the monster's home with bricks to ensure it wouldn't escape again.
"I know that thing kidnapped children and tried to eat Jackie and all, but it still seems kinda mean to wall it up like this." Laney stated.
"Maybe." a spotlight shined on Corey. "But isn't there a monster walled up inside of all of us? Our jealousy? Our uncertainty? We need to put our monster to sleep, so it can dream of a better us."
The front man placed the last brick into the wall and gave it a gentle pat.
"Well, there's one thing I learned from all of this." Jackie claimed. "It's actually possible to make a lullaby sound rough and angry! Might be the most underground thing I've ever heard!"
"Thanks Jacks. But I think I'm done with being an underground band. It stinks down here!"
A fart noise was heard behind Corey.
Kon smiled proudly. "That was me."
"That's our Kon!" the others chuckled.
"Thanks for coming out everyone!" Corey shut the garage door.
14 chapters left!
The next chapter will be another episode, and after that, will be the final original scenario which as I've said will be split into two parts. Then we'll finish up the remaining Grojband episodes, starting with the ones people requested. As of now, there are four episodes that have not been requested and they are:
Cloudy with a Chance of Malt Balls
The Pirate's Lounge For Me
The Snarffles with Sniffles
For Hat and Country
Obviously I am going to do all of these, but if you want a certain episode to come earlier, request it now. Otherwise, I will select the order of the episodes randomly (they'll be chapters 102-105). See you all again soon and remember to review!