Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or any Characters. I also don't own the poem that is called Alone by Edgar Allen Poe. The ending lyrics is from Monster by Eminem feat Rihanna.
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
There was always too much noise, now that she was in the real world. Too much talking, too much rustling of leaves, too much breathing, too much touching. Everyone had too much of a fetish for touching her, especially Caroline. She was done with touching honestly. She couldn't help the look of disgust that would pass through her eyes whenever someone would touch her. She wouldn't blowup about it however because it would be rude and her Grams had taught her better. So she would extricate herself skillfully from any reaching hands and place a good amount of personal space between her and her assailant.
She missed her other world. At first, she found it inconvenient because she was stuck there with Damon. Then she was grateful she wasn't alone because she knew she would have lost her mind. Then she hated it because of all she suffered at the hands of Kai. Now she found comfort in the silence. It gave her time to just exist something she hadn't been able to do since her junior year of high school. She was 16. How the years pass. She was now 20 having missed her birthday because she was left trapped in purgatory.
She missed her own welcome back celebration thrown by Caroline, two days after she had returned. Caroline needed to distract herself from watching her mother die in a hospital bed. She remembered how she felt when she watched Silas exsanguinate her father in front of the whole town. Well that sucks for Bonnie, right?
Caroline was so upset at her for missing the party. She nearly strangled Bonnie. All because she needed to distract herself from her own problems and what better way than to throw a Welcome Back From Hell party. Bonnie told her she was sorry and she could not handle socializing with so many people at one time. She wasn't sorry but she was telling the truth about there being too many people. Bonnie glanced at Caroline's tears and couldn't really find it in herself to sympathize. Maybe she should get herself checked out because that couldn't be a normal reaction to one's sister's tears.
So Bonnie forced herself to hug Caroline and endure tear stains on her shirt just so she could get Caroline to stop making noise. The next day, Stefan came to ask if there was anything she could do to help Liz. She told him she would look into it. She had yet to open a grimoire.
Maybe she should feel bad.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov'd—I lov'd alone—
Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still—
Jeremy had hoped to see Bonnie at the party well that is what he told everyone else. In truth, he was avoiding her. He was so angry with her over so much. She had made him feel worthless because she didn't fight enough to stay alive for him. He found her, the next day at the park sitting down on a blanket, staring up at the clouds. He sat down and started talking to her.
Jeremy was talking at her. He just sat down while she wanted to be alone and started speaking at her. He said a lot of things. She was sure he said that he hated her at one point for something or other. Then he proceeded to confess the things he did to cope with her death. She wasn't surprised at the way his coping mechanisms had manifested. She sighed in irritation at the sound of his voice.
He finished his diatribe and looked at her to see a reaction at what he had done. He was still holding out hope that she would fight to be with him. When she didn't say anything, only glancing at him with impassive eyes and a slightly confused furrowed brow, he sighed. He told her that he would give her time to process her feelings about what he had done and walked away. She couldn't care less about what he had done.
Maybe she should be pissed.
Later that day, she noticed that Mattie was under someone's compulsion. The next day she figured out it was Enzo. She told him that she would kill him if he got her friend killed. He rushed at her. She crucified him to the Salvatore Boarding house wall. He waited for her to torture him but all she did was remove his daylight ring and opened the curtains. She watched as the sunlight crawled over the floor boards as she waited for Enzo to acquiesce to her request to release Mattie from his compulsion. She looked bored as she watched him struggle against the enchanted fire pokers. She snorted her distaste of him.
Too much noise.
He taunted her with her inability to kill him. She had no doubt that she could execute him with a stake to the heart but she had wasted pain and blood on bringing him back to life. She didn't want her investment to go to waste. She told him as much. When his shoes started to burn, he screamed to get Mattie over to remove the compulsion. A half an hour later, Mattie was free and Enzo was told that next time she would stake him. He saw the look in her eye. He had never seen a look like that. She wasn't angry over the incident, which was strange. She didn't view him like the Augustine doctors either. No she looked right through him as if he were nothing but a buzzing fly; mildly irritating and easily silenced.
He deemed to never cross the witch again.
From the torrent, or the fountain—
From the red cliff of the mountain—
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold—
Bonnie noticed that Elena had taken to staring at her with her large doe eyes. Bonnie knew that Elena wanted something from her and for propriety sake was waiting a customary length of time to ask her favor. For Elena that was a week after she had come back from purgatory. Elena asked Bonnie to remove the compulsion which Bonnie told her she would look into it. Then Bonnie glanced back at the television, to finish her Game of Throne marathon. She was re-watching from season 1.
Elena just stared at Bonnie. Her memories of Bonnie told her that whenever she needed a favor, Bonnie would hop right up and get to work. This behavior was odd but Bonnie since returning from the other dimension was acting strange. At the end of season 1, she watched Bonnie get up and change the dvd. Elena got up went into the boarding house library and retrieved the grimoires. She walked back to the media room and placed them on the coffee table in front of Bonnie. Bonnie glanced down at the books and then back up at Elena impassively. That was when Elena saw it. Not anger but resignation. Bonnie let out a little sigh reached for the remote and turned off the tv. Elena grinned that her friend was now going to help her. Bonnie stood up, walked around Elena and went to her room in the boarding house. There Bonnie grabbed her purse and keys and left the boarding house.
Two hours later, she found herself in the town library reading her favorite Alex Cross novel.
Damon found her not because Elena asked but because he knew Elena had hurt Bonnie. He wanted to know if his friend was alright. Damon wasn't a fool. He knew something had happened to Bonnie. Her smile wasn't as warm and her eyes didn't sparkle right. He watched as she would place a discreet amount of distance between her and another person. He had seen the look of disgust that crossed her features whenever someone put their hands on her. When he found Kai, he was going to snap his neck once and for all.
Damon didn't say anything when he found her in the historical section of the library leaning against the shelves with a James Patterson novel in her lap. He grabbed a book at random, Teddy Roosevelt, an autobiography. In the 80s, he met a Cuban Santero Warlock in Miami that told him of his involvement in sinking the battleship Maine. He sat down next to Bonnie and decided to see how big of a stick T.R. really had.
All that could be heard for a few hours were the turning of pages.
"Are you here to ask on behalf of Elena," she finally said into the silence of the library. He didn't answer her right away. He just continued to read the page he was on.
"No as far as I'm concerned Elena chose to erase me from her life and now that I am back, she should have to pay the consequences for her actions," he said as the page crinkled as he turned it. She considered him for a second as she placed the novel face down on her lap. He watched her out of the corner of his eye. This was the most animation he had seen from her since her return. She wet her lips with her pink tongue and passed her small hands through her hair. The sun caught the glints of gold from her highlights from the makeover Caroline forced her to get. But there in the library he noticed that she was beautiful…..beautiful and sad like an angel fallen because her wings were ripped from her back.
What had they done to Witchy?
"But it's for Elena," she sneered turning her head and crossing her arms over her chest. He looked at her then. She had a slight pout and there was anger in her eyes. He was glad that she finally had something in them. He grinned.
"I don't care," he said stifling a laugh when he saw the surprise explode on her face. They grinned at each other till Bonnie got a slight blush and picked up her novel and resumed reading.
The next day Kai made it known he was in town.
Again there was too much noise and people were too close again. She was told to sit in a chair in between the two couches facing the coffee table that was littered with grimoires, pencils and pieces of paper with notes. She figured someone was researching something. She just blinked at the mess and stared back at the fire trying to block out the noise.
Then she heard her name being tossed around.
"Bonnie can figure out something to bind Kai's power so that Jo can beat him," Alaric had said in his low cadence. She saw Tyler nod in agreement. The massive angry snake coiled inside of her.
"What happens if Jo loses," Elena asked. She saw Alaric wince at the thought of his girlfriend losing to her evil twin. A few seconds of silence followed as everyone in the room contemplated. She noticed that Damon was absent from the meeting.
"The only one powerful enough to take on Kai at that point would be Bonnie," Alaric said matter of fact. Bonnie gazed up at him as he leaned against the mantel of the fireplace. She had saved this man and now he was willing to pit her against a psychopath. As if she hadn't tried to kill that disgusting maggot enough times.
"Well than Bonnie has her work cut out for her then," Tyler said. She could feel her nails dig into the arms of the chair. The snake coiled tighter, wrapping around her lungs and throat.
"I'm sorry what," she growled out slowly and quietly. Everyone stopped talking and glazed in her direction.
"If Jo dies trying to defeat Kai than you will have to defeat Kai," Elena said slowly as if she were speaking to a child. Bonnie blinked for a second. The snake inside of her sprang out of her mouth.
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by—
From the thunder, and the storm—
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view—
"The only thing I have to do is put two bullets in Kai's stomach and another one in between his eyes," Bonnie spat out. Anger and fury rising up her esophagus and making her head pound with the most emotion she had had since Christmas. They had never heard that type of tone in Bonnie's voice. So they misinterpreted it as her anger with Kai for whatever he did to her while she was alone with him.
"Yeah, but not until Jo goes through the merger because if he dies before that than Liv and Luke will have to do it," Tyler said good-naturedly. He was even grinning at her. She scoffed.
"Let us get one thing straight here, the next time I see him I will kill him regardless if he went through the merger or not. I am not going to bother with magic. I will either shoot him in between the eyes or if I can get close enough I will stab him again in the carotid and watch him bleed at my feet. I will watch him till I am satisfied he will not get back up. That is the only thing I have to do and only because I want to," she said slowly and coldly. She flicked her eyes over her group of friends. There was a collective gasp as what Bonnie said settled in their brains. There was the silence that she longed for again.
A slow clapping started from behind her. She turned and saw Damon grinning at her. She quirked her eyebrow at him and he stopped clapping. He didn't however stop grinning.
"I was waiting for you to put these idiots in their place," Damon said still staring at her.
"And where the hell were you," she said crossing her arms over her chest and shifting herself to a relaxed stance.
"These assholes decided that since I have been trying to kill Kai for the past few months, I was no longer welcomed at strategy meetings," he said still grinning at her. He walked up close to her and stopped short of invading her personal space.
"So they finally figured out that everything you say is bullshit," she said. A slow smile spread over her face.
"Bon Bon you wound me," he said still with a grin on his face. She giggled.
"Thank you," she said giving him that soft smile like she did in the cave.
"So how do you suppose we lure the jam eating psycho out," Damon said. They started strategizing.
They hadn't moved from the living room.
"Bonnie are you crazy," Elena nearly screamed jarring both Damon and her out of their little world. They glanced around with identical looks of confusion to find themselves surrounded by so many people.
"I'm sorry," Bonnie asked genuinely confused. Elena stood up and walked up to Bonnie. Elena invaded her personal space and Bonnie was forced to step back and felt her back hit Damon. She felt Damon steady her with one hand on her lower back that he did not remove.
"Are you even listening to yourself right now," Elena said staring at her with wide brown eyes. "My best friend would never say something like that."
"Like what," Bonnie said titling her head and gazed at Elena.
"Like what…Like what," Elena stuttered. "Let's start with the fact that you just told Tyler that you didn't care whether his girlfriend lived or died—"
"Because I don't," Bonnie said simply. The look of horror registered on Elena's face. Her mouth opened widely in a gasped and her whole body stood still.
"But…But…" Elena again stuttered out, her big brown doe-eyes filling up with water. At that very moment she wanted to slap her friend.
"This is how this is going to work so listen up. Team Bonnie and Damon will work on how to kill Kai. Team everyone else can focus on whatever else. I really don't care and whoever finds him first well they can enact their plan," Bonnie smirked at the room. Then she glanced up at Damon and found that he was smiling down at her.
"Damon, let's continue planning with food. I'm in the mood for Chinese," she said sliding out from in between Damon and Elena. She didn't turn around when she heard his heavy footfalls behind her as she exited the boarding house.
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy
Well, that's nothing
Well, that's nothing
So don't hate me for the Caroline and Liz thing. As you noticed, I didn't have Caroline ask but Stefan. Bonnie had just come back from solitary and when she burned down the Christmas tree, she had to shut down her emotions in order not to go truly crazy. So getting asked to do favors with her magic right from the start of her freedom just is not a good look. In my head canon, Bonnie after regaining her emotions would move heaven and earth to save Liz's life.
Read review enjoy!