Disclaimer: Not mine, obviously.

So this is a story/ plot bunny I started some time ago that I found and turned into a one shot. It's got several OC's and Mattie is more of the fandom Canada. Also England and France are OOC but they don't actually appear in the story it's just for plot reasons but I hope you're willing to read it anyways and maybe give me a review so I know what to work on.


Matthew was pissed. Ok, he was more that pissed, he was livid. How DARE those soon to be dead fools. Alfred was HIS brother. That meant no one was allowed to invade or conquer Alfred but HIM!

Granted he hadn't actually started his invasion yet, but subtle conquest was just as effective and much more his style. But those European idiots had to up and decide to take 'their' land back. The nerve. He and Alfred had been here long before they were 'discovered' and 'civilized' as Francis and Arthur liked to call it.

So now they had Alfred locked up somewhere and had pretty much started WWIII. The fools thought no one would side with America! How arrogant and short sighted could they get. They even expected Matthew, Alfred's older twin, to go along with it. Well that sure as Maple wasn't going to happen. Matthew was on his way to the White House right now to have a 'talk' with the current president and 'convince' him that it was time to go to war.

When he arrived he was greeted at the gates by (the now elderly) James Thomson. James was the son of a politician who was the son of a politician who was the son of a politician who was the son of a politician who was the son of a politician's son. So his family knew all about the Personified Nations.

"Come to join the party?" James asked with a smile.

"I wasn't aware my brother being kidnapped was cause for celebration Mr. Thomson." Mathew said tersely. Having watch James's family grow up didn't mean he would excuse James for siding against him.

James just laughed, "No of course not but watching Mr. Orange get put in his place is." At the Canadian's confusion he just waved Matthew in. "Just head on up and you'll see." James said cryptically.

Deciding he didn't have time to waste decoding the man's message Matthew strode into the White House and ordered the first Secret Service man he saw to direct him to the President. "He would be holding a… 'meetin'' in his office Sir." The Suited man said with a smile. As Matthew stormed up the stairs he decided that everyone here was much too happy about the situation. He realized that Americans liked to fight but this was taking it too far. He reached the door of the Oval office and threw it open, fully prepared to give 'Alfred's Boss' a piece of his mind. Only to stare blinking at the scene inside the office and realize he didn't have to.

Inside the office was… Chaos. Organized Chaos but Chaos none the less. The President was hanging hog tied from the ceiling fan and covered in the smears from paintballs. Strewn throughout the room was a strange assortment of 'people' ranging from a blond with bushy eyebrows in his early twenties to a pale violet eyed little girl who couldn't have been older than six. There were 5 other children and teens of varying ages, many of whom were holding paintball guns and ammo. Standing next to the president and brandishing what appeared to be a sawed of shotgun loaded with paintball pellets was a brunet of maybe 18 or 19. All eyes turned to Matthew at his sudden entrance.

"At last!" the tied-up president yelled, "Someone sane!" He was almost immediately hit with a barrage of paintballs that caused him to whimper. The president sent a desperate, pleading look.

"If you leave him upside down too long there will be too much blood in his head for him to think." I said addressing the brunet.

"But he doesn't need to think Uncle Kanata," Came the reply from the violet eyed 6-year-old. "All he has to do is say yes and sign some papers so we can go rescue daddy." I thought about her statement for a moment.

"Well when you put it like that," I said shrugging. The president had a look somewhere between betrayal, despair, and abject horror. Good, that'll teach him to abandon Alfred.

"So mister president," The brunet said with a sneer, "are you clear on what's going to happen or do you need to go back into negotiations with Mr. McHenry." She brandished her weapon, Fort McHenry emblazoned on the side.

"N, No." he finally got out. The brunette nodded.

"Ute let him down," She directed, "and NM get those papers over here, Alice be a doll and grab that fancy pen."

"On it MaL." replied a Native looking woman of 20 with black hair and sky-blue eyes, 'One right-side-up president coming up!" she said with a grin before slicing the cord that held the president. Said man fell to the floor in a heap. A 15-year-old blond with sandy hair, stormy eyes and sun kissed skin rolled his eyes as he handed the brunet, MaL, a bundle of papers before picking his tablet back up and letting the light play across his glasses. Then the 6-year-old bounded over with the official presidential pen.

"Here you go Maryland," she said with a terrifying yet innocent smile, "We don't need him anymore once he signs that right?"

"Nope." MaL said, popping the P. The president whimpered, and I shuddered a bit. I had forgotten how absolutely terrifying the states were, especially when they were working together. The thought made me pause. England and France had abducted America. But they had done nothing about the United States. They were either idiots (well they were idiots for even attempting what they were attempting) or suicidal.

Unless they didn't know about Alfred's states personifying.

The more I thought about it the more realistic that sounded. Alfred never talked about them at world meetings and I had never seen a reason to bring them up, it might be possible that America and I were the only Personifications to know about the States.

Oh. Well. That just made this war a whole lot easier. Pathetically easy actually, if the other nations didn't have a plan for dealing with the states they were going to get overrun and obliterated. I watched passively as the president signed a couple of papers declaring the U.S. at war before curling up in a ball and trying to find a corner in the oval office. "Well that's that." MaL said with a grin, "Calli you mind running this over to congress?"

"Not at all, princess." Said a bleach blond maybe 17, flashing MaL a Hollywood smile, "It would be my genuine pleasure." He grabbed the bundle of papers and saluted as he walked out the door. MaL rolled her eyes and Utah snorted.

"Hey Unc," asked the bushy eyed man, "What are you doing here anyway?"

'I'm here for the same reason you are West." I replied calmly, "I was going to speak with the president and help him understand that it was in his best interests to retrieve America from Europe."

"You didn't bring your hockey stick." NM said pointedly.

"Yes, well, I didn't intend to persuade him in quite the same way you did." I replied awkwardly.

"We tried that," Alice said, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, "He wouldn't listen to me and Hillo so we went and told Maryland." I nodded as I ushered the collection of states from the oval office.

"And how many of you are in support of this plan?" I had to ask, I needed to know how split the country was going to be.

"That's a stupid question." MaL said as she popped a piece of gum into her mouth.

"Just indulge me." I said with a long-suffering sigh. MaL had some rather interesting personality quirks, some of which included total lack of respect for any form of authority and blunt refusal to do anything or deal with anyone she deemed was idiotic. Luckily for me, total devotion to family was another one of her… Quirks.

"All of us, Uncle." she said as she blew a bubble. I nodded. Then I did a double take and spun to face the brunet.

"Say that again Mary." I said with a slight tremble in my voice. MaL rolled her eyes.

"You asked how many of us were behind the plan to liberate America AKA. our DAD and… educate the rest of the world. I answered you with the rather obvious answer that all of us, all 50 states, want to save dad and pound the snot out of the idiots who thought they could mess with the United States." She grinned. I gulped.

"That's not funny Mary." I scolded praying it was just a bad joke.

MaL gave me a funny look and rolled her eyes. "Why would I be joking Uncle?"

"Because you never all agree on something." I almost screeched. "You couldn't even agree when there were only 13 of you there's no way all 50 of you agreed to any sort of plan like this, it's impossible, AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!" MaL spun around to look at me and I immediately bit my lip. I might have taken it a bit too far there, but it was justified because they never agreed and the idea of any of them working together was terrifying let alone ALL of them and ohshitshe'swalkingtowardsmei'mgonnadieandi'mterrifiedofmy18yearoldniecehowpatheticamiand….

My mental panic was cut off as MaL gently placed the back of her hand against my forehead. "Are you OK Uncle Matti? You're really flushed." she asked worriedly. "I think the stress of everything is getting to you." I just nodded. what else could I do? This was the girl that Alfred went out of his way to not piss off, father or not. The one who held authority over an obscenely large group of hellions and was both feared and respected by said demons and she had just given me an out.

"We've commandeered the world conference building, you can rest there" said Virginia, who looked enough like Francis to always throw me off. She took my hand and started down the hall, the others following behind.

"Hey Giny," MaL asked causing me to tense once more, "How's your dialect work?"

"Passable. Why?" Virginia asked as we passed back by James who, wisely, darted behind a pillar after he shot me an apologetic grin.

"Because," MaL said with a grin that promised dark, dark things, "between your accents and West's overuse of 'Bloody' we're in." I pondered what statement as our mismatched group headed down the street. what on earth did Mary mean by in? Then it dawned on me. None of the other nations knew about the states. The states knew that no one else knew about them. And MaL was prepared to take full advantage of this. A ridiculously large number of the states looked like other nations. Once they knew who would be trying to 'claim' America's land MaL could have said state be the new personification of the claimed territory and BAM instant assassin. The world was doomed.

"Marry," I said as we reached the repurposed conference building.

"Yes Uncle?" MaL asked sweetly, literally tilting her head to the side in a twisted mockery of innocence.

"Before you do anything will you at least let me figure out who our allies are?" I pleaded.

"Of course, Uncle." She said grinning as she pulled open the double doors and the others entered, "But could you be fast 'bout it? We're all really anxious to get Dad back."

"You mean you're all really anxious to wreck havoc and tear people apart." I mumbled bitterly as I followed my family.

"Yup" Mal replied, popping the P. The grin on her face was unapologetically sadistic and as the doors clanged shut behind me I could only imagine the anticipatory looks on the faces of the rest of the states.

God save us all.