Oliver Queen is a Menace – Yoga Oliver AU
AN: Hi! Taking a break and doing something fun. Yoga Oliver AU happened! Enjoy! Depending on how this goes I was thinking a small sequel with….smut. All the smut. :D
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Disclaimer: I own nothing! There's no reason to keep the idea of Oliver in tight yoga pants to myself.
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Felicity clenched her teeth and put her clothes in her bag, snatching up her yoga mat right after. She was going to smack Sara upside the head when she saw her. You know what, no, she was going to change all her contacts to Harry Potter characters and see how she liked it. Having to figure things out without having all the pieces. Because that's what she was doing, she was trying to figure out what the hell was going on to lead her to all of this; hiding in a bathroom stall from crazed people who wanted her spot.
Maybe, Felicity needed to backtrack and explain.
Last week she had come to Friday night dinner at Sara and Nyssa's the most stressed she had been in weeks. Her department at Queen Consolidated was behind in some of its work and she was having the hardest time getting a patent through because Palmer Technologies apparently had something similar. She had been so stressed that when she came to dinner her hair was in a messy knotted bun, her blouse was buttoned wrong and she even had bags under her eyes.
Sara and Nyssa had taken one look at her and dragged her into their apartment before placing her on their couch with a Bloody Mary in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in her lap. They had forgone dinner and just went straight to watching movies and killing it on Mario with green mud masks on. All together it had been a great night. Felicity had ended up sleeping in their guest bedroom and felt better by the morning.
Two days later she'd gotten an email confirmation from the gym at QC for some random yoga class. When she asked Sara about it she was told that she had apparently agreed to it during her Bloody Mary night and Sara had arranged it through a family friend. Felicity had thought nothing of it. She had never used the gym at QC and maybe it would be a good way to work through some of her frustrations at work.
Fast forward a week later, the day of her first yoga class, and now she understood that Sara had left some essential details out of this yoga class. Essential pieces that would help her understand why three women and two men had approached her today about her yoga class. It had come out of nowhere; the first person. Felicity had just walked into the lobby at QC, looking for her ID in her bag, when a woman she recognized from HR approached her. At first Felicity thought that it was about her new interns and that maybe some additional paperwork was needed. Turns out that it had nothing to do with her interns.
The HR person named Carol asked her if she had signed up for the yoga class held at lunch today at QC. Felicity had answered yes, thinking that maybe Carol was in the class as well. She had been wrong. Carol had pulled out her checkbook and asked Felicity how much she would want to sell her spot in the yoga class for. Felicity had looked at the women in confusion and blurted out, "Why?"
Carol had looked at her as if the answer was obvious; it wasn't. "Because there is a 6 month wait to get into that specially delicious class and the list came out today. Somehow you got on there. Trust me I want your spot. Everyone wants your spot," Carol went on with a slightly dreamy smile, her pen held over the checkbook, "So how much would you want?"
"Ummm, no I'm ok. It's just a class," Felicity said with a small laugh, "Won't know if I'll even like it."
Carol's eyebrows raised, "Oh really. I'm definitely getting in now. So how much? Triple digits? Grand?"
Felicity gave Carol a cheerfully fake smile as she found her ID, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. The woman was crazy if she was actually willing to offer a grand for a simple yoga class, "No thank you. I've got to go. Projects to finish, interns to guide in the crazy and not dangerous world of computer sciences. Bye, have a nice day!" And then Felicity escaped, leaving behind an odd woman who definitely called out for her to stop repeatedly. She pushed the incident out of her mind because she really did have a lot to do today and she thought it really was a simple yoga class.
But it didn't stop there. When she got to her office there was someone waiting by her secretary's desk. It was too early for her secretary to be in and she had no appointments scheduled this early so Felicity approached the woman and asked her if she could help her. Turns out that this woman, Caroline from Accounting, wanted to know how she got into the yoga class.
"Excuse me?" Felicity answered in confusion.
The woman cleared her throat and politely asked again, "How did you get into the yoga class today at noon?"
Felicity gave a small but hesitant shrug, "A friend recommended it and signed me up. You know you're the second person…"
The woman cut Felicity off, her eyes wide at the information, "Someone signed you up? You have an 'in'? Oh my god. What is it? What's this person's name? What floor?"
Caroline came closer to Felicity, eyes a bit too wide and excited. Quite frankly it weirded Felicity out. Something was off here. This was the second person to ask her about this damn yoga class. For some reason they really wanted to get into it.
'What have I got myself in to?' Felicity thought. Correction, 'What did Sara get me into?'
Thinking of Sara, Felicity knew that she couldn't tell the woman how she'd gotten her spot. From the slightly excited and crazed look in her eyes, Caroline was ready to hunt down Sara a couple floors down and demand that she get her a spot too. She wasn't that mean to put Sara through that.
Felicity gave her a polite smile and stepped away from the woman, pretending to look at her watch, "I'm sorry, but I've got a call in about five minutes that I've got to get ready for."
The woman stepped closer to Felicity and in one long breath said, "Was it Lou Ann? She swears she's got an in to the class because she did it 7 months ago but I know she's lying. The list by the yoga room has you right there and you've never been on the waiting list. I would know. Check that thing every Wednesday morning before everyone."
Felicity heard the elevator ding and looked to the side to see her secretary Patti. She gave her a pointed look, "Hi, Patti. Could you arrange a meeting with Caroline here? I've got that call in 5 minutes."
It was as if Patti could see her desperation. She gave a nod as she approached them, leading Caroline off to the side, "Yes, Ms. Smoak. Come this way Ms. Caroline and I'll set you up with a meeting to speak with Ms. Smoak another time. She's a busy busy woman."
Felicity promised to give Patti a raise as she escaped to her office. She closed and locked the glass door behind her before pressing a button to frost her office walls. Walking over to her desk she got rid of her coat and settled her things on her desk. This was getting odd. Two people in the span of ten minutes whom both wanted to get into this yoga class? What the hell was going on today?
Taking out her phone she sent Sara and Nyssa a quick text.
What kind of yoga class have you signed me up for? Two people have already approached me about it!
Not a minute later she got a reply.
You'll see. ;)
Felicity looked down at her phone in bewilderment. Something was definitely off and she had a feeling that her day was going to get even weirder courtesy of her best friend. Her fingers flew over her phone as she messaged Sara back.
What do you mean 'you'll see'? What have you got me into Sara?
No response came even. Felicity tried again.
Letting out a huff of annoyance she placed her phone back on the desk. She didn't have a call to take this early but she did have tons of work to do. So as much as she wanted to figure out what was going on with this mysterious and highly demanded yoga class, she was too busy. Turning on her computer she opened her files and lost herself in her work.
By lunchtime she had confirmed that everyone was crazy for this yoga class. Out of the three meetings she had today two of them were surprise meetings from people who wanted to see how Felicity got into the class, if she could get them in, or what tactics she had used. And both times she had to turn them away because she hadn't done anything. Sara had signed her up and here she was; kindly escorting one desperate man and woman out of her office. One of them had even brought a notepad. A notepad! Apparently they thought Felicity had some secret code/algorithm to get into the mysteriously high demand yoga class. She was at her wits ends by the end of both meetings and had resorted to telling them it was a random lottery.
Right before the mysterious yoga class, Felicity managed to sneak out of her office and avoid any random strangers with questions, and made it to the bathroom to change for the class. Sara had been on radio silence for the last couple of hours and hadn't responded at all to her inquiries about what was going on. In all honestly she was getting more stressed by the prospect of the yoga class even before it began.
She was in the restroom stall, just finishing changing into black knee length yoga pants, and was pulling off her shirt when someone said, "Don't be scared."
Felicity gave a small shout and jumped. Looking around she saw that the door was locked and that there was no one standing in front of the door.
"Up here," a voice said again. Felicity eyes swivelled up and caught sight of a man looking down at her. She gave another yelp and used her shirt to cover up her chest. The man rolled his eyes and said, "Don't worry honey. I'm not interested in any of that. What I am interested in is that spot you've got for the 12 o'clock yoga session."
"Again?" Felicity asked as she felt herself become angry, "Are you seriously standing on a toilet in the ladies room asking me about the damn yoga class? What is so special about it anyway? It's yoga? Oh god. Don't tell me its some weird thing like tantric sex. Because let me tell you, not doing it."
The man's eyes seemed to light up and Felicity thought that he was going to ask about her spot again. He didn't. "You don't know who teaches it do you?"
"No," she grumbled as she changed her shirt quickly. This mysterious bathroom creeper wasn't interested in her anyway but she felt exposed, "You're the fifth person to ask me about this class. What's so good about it anyway?"
The man smiled as if he wasn't peeking over the bathroom wall and talking to Felicity in the ladies room, "Oh this is too good. Got into 'the' yoga class of the year and you don't even know who teaches it? Obviously you got a friend to get you in without a second thought without even telling about the yoga pants deliciousness that teaches it."
"Wow. I've somehow fallen into an alternate dimension," Felicity said in disbelief as she put her hair up into a ponytail. She was in a bathroom, previously half naked, while looking up at a man who wanted her spot as well but had suddenly decided that he'd rather let her have it.
The man dug in his pocket and pulled out his business card. Leaning forward he reached out to Felicity to hand it over, "Here's my card. I work a couple floors above you Ms. Smoak. Enjoy the class and tell me all about it over lunch sometimes. I want all the dirty details."
Felicity didn't even know why she was nodding and taking the man's card. He gave a sly grin before winking and ducking down and leaving the bathroom. Throwing the card in her bag she put her clothes away and grabbed her yoga mat. Peering through the slit of the bathroom stall she saw that no one else was there. She waited about half a minute before opening the door slowly and sneaking out of the bathroom. It was time to finally go to the mysterious class that everyone had been practically raving about.
The bathroom encounter was the last straw, and Felicity couldn't wait to ask Sara what was going on. Somehow she knew that the radio silence from her was because she knew that people would react like this. After all Sara Lance was a schemer. Sara knew that people would confront her to get into this super exclusive yoga class that Sara somehow had access too. It was all part of Sara's master plan to get Felicity to interact more with people. Especially because Sara kept on telling her that she had to get to know the people at QC, mingle, maybe even one day get a date.
Fifteen floors later she was getting off on the gym floor. She didn't even bother asking the receptionist where the class was. She didn't want to bring any unwanted attention to herself. The five people that had approached her today were enough.
Eventually she found the right hall and came upon a door with an actual card scanner. She gave the black door a sceptical look as she pulled out her badge and scanned her card.
Why would you need your card to get into this?
The door gave a beep and she pulled it, making her way inside. She gave pause at the door. It looked like a regular yoga room. It was a big open room with a whole expanse of windows on the opposite side looking down on Starling City. There were about thirty yoga mats spread out and various women grouped together and talking. It looked perfectly normal. She couldn't understand why people would want to get into this.
Someone called out her name, "Felicity! Over here!"
Turning to the front she caught sight of Sara in the front near the windows. She was in a spot where the sun was beaming down on her, keeping her toasty warm. Right next to her was an open spot obviously saved for her by Sara's things. Felicity gave her a smile and a wave as she came over to Sara. She had a lot of explaining to do.
She got a couple looks on her way to Sara but she ignored them. When she reached her friend, Sara moved over her things and helped Felicity set up her mat. As soon as she sat down she didn't hesitate to ask.
"What did you do?" Felicity asked with a pointed look.
Sara didn't even have the decency to look innocent. She grinned at Felicity, "Got you into one of the most exclusive yoga classes."
Apparently they were getting right into it. Felicity raised an eyebrow, "A yoga class that apparently everyone is willing to harass me to get into it?"
Sara gave a laugh, "What happened?"
"Five people approached me," Felicity said with a wave of her hand as she began recounting her odd morning, "First someone by the front desks. They pulled out a checkbook of all things. Offered me money for my spot. Then I had a woman waiting by my office who wanted to know my 'in' to this class. Then two meetings that seemed to be for completely legit purposes but ended up being about this class. And finally a guy who decided that the best place to ask me about my spot was in the bathroom. He was standing on a toilet seat Sara!"
Sara face was scrunched up by the end of Felicity's story. She was obviously trying to hold back her laughter. Felicity pushed her shoulder playfully and said, "Don't make that face. This is your fault. Who's teaching this class? That's what it's got to be."
Sara gave her a meaningful look, "If you mingled at QC you would know."
Felicity let out a small groan, "I'm just busy. Don't have time to mingle."
"Or date," Sara supplied.
"Yes, or date. I'm busy," Felicity replied.
"And that's why we're here," Sara said as the teasing died away and she became a little more serious, "You've been stressed lately, ok? And if I can get you to mingle while decreasing your stress with yoga then this will have to do."
Felicity felt herself deflate and her previous anger disappear. Maybe she wouldn't change Sara's contacts to Harry Potter characters after all, "You did it because you were worried?"
"Of course. Just want you to get better. And if I have to turn your day upside down to do it then...yeah. It's going to happen," Sara said with a small shrug.
"Fine. I'll give you that one. Doesn't explain why I've been stalked all day. Stalking is never good. Now talk, whose teaching this class? Why does everyone want to get in so bad?" Felicity said as she arranged herself on the mat a little more comfortably. She looked back around the room at the other women and realized something. "And why is it that everyone is basically in a sports bra and short shorts while I'm in this?" Felicity said as she pointed at her Darth Vader shirt that had the words 'come to the dark side, we have bacon' written on it.
"Oh my god Sara. Is this a pole dancing class?" Felicity asked a little too loudly.
She heard a deep chuckle behind her, "Definitely not a pole dancing class. Not that graceful."
She knew that voice. Turning her head slowly her eyes widened at the sight. Standing behind her wearing a grin and a black tee with green and black yoga pants, was Oliver Queen. She felt her mouth go dry as he said a quick hello to Sara before his eyes drifted back to Felicity. He was waiting for a response.
Her tongue felt tied up in her mouth. She didn't know what to say to Oliver Queen, previously known as playboy extraordinaire and party hopper, who had a penchant nowadays for attending charities, helping his stepfather run QC and who liked bringing Felicity laptops in various states of disrepair even though she wasn't in IT anymore. Apparently she was the best and he would have no other. Also she didn't know if she could take him seriously in those. God bless those pants.
"You look like you can get up that pole. I mean look at your muscles. Not saying that you're too buff. You're just right. But enough where your weight, or muscle mass wouldn't stop you from getting on that pole, " Felicity said, her mouth getting away from her. Her hand came up and covered her mouth in shock, "And I'm going to stop talking in 3, 2, 1."
Looking up she expected Oliver Queen to be looking at her with wide surprised eyes. She was surprised herself when he was actually looking at her curiously. His grin turned into a smile; a full-blown smile that would have made her weak in the knees if she weren't already sitting.
"I tend to talk a lot when I'm nervous," Felicity told him.
"It has not escaped my attention," he said before placing a bag by the wall that she hadn't even noticed him holding. Taking hold of his yoga mat he turned to her once more, "By the way. Nice shirt."
Felicity felt a light blush rise to her cheeks at the comment as he started walking towards the front of the room where he spread out his mat and looked at the entire class. That's when it hit her. The reason why everyone wanted into the class and why some were even willing to pay for her spot or stalk her in the bathroom.
Oliver Queen was the yoga instructor.
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Felicity pulled her stomach in and arched her back, getting into what was known as the cat/cow stand. Her feet were flat on the floor and her legs hip-width apart with her palms flat. She was about forty-five minutes into her yoga class with Oliver Queen, future CEO and apparently the 12 o'clock yoga instructor on Wednesdays.
They had gone through several posses already from the cobra to downward facing dog and the tree. And she wasn't even going to lie, she felt relaxed. Her body felt loose and for the first time in days she didn't have a headache. It would have all been a perfectly good yoga class if for one thing…Oliver Queen. She now understood why there was a sixth month waiting period for his class and why everyone wanted her spot today. He was a menace. A grade 'A' menace. From the beginning of the lesson she could swear that he did it all on purpose. Every single stretch, every single pose…all on purpose. With every pose he was practically showcasing/stretching his body to show off the muscles and curves he obviously had. She, like all the other women in the room, was having a hard time keeping her eyes off his body. Hell, him being a menace and prancing around like a Greek god was probably the explanation for why the women where practically in their underwear. Oliver Queen was a sexy, muscle-ridden man who filled out those yoga pants like no other. And he knew it!
To make it worse he kept on…tempting her. He would walk around in those practically painted on yoga pants and comment on how to correct poses all around the room. Somehow he would always circle around the room and end up by Felicity. He never 'just' commented on how to fix her poses. He fixed them himself. Every single time he would straighten out her poses by sliding a hand down her back or pressing down on her stomach. The worst one was when he placed his hands on her hips from behind. He told her to spread her legs a bit more in a mere whisper that she was pretty sure was closer than he really needed to be. She could feel her cheeks flush every single time and when she looked up at him she could have sworn she caught him smiling. To top it off when she looked over at Sara she actually gave Felicity a grin as if she knew all along what was happening. Scheming Sara knew that the menace known as Oliver Queen was up to something.
And it wasn't the first time Oliver Queen was a painfully beautiful menace that interrupted her days. The man was a frequent visitor in her cubicle when she still worked in IT. Constantly coming to her with problems of all sorts on his laptop. It got to the point where Felicity was pretty sure that he was messing with his computer on purpose to come down to her department and chat with her. Because that's what he did. He came down and sat next to her while she fixed his computer and would talk with her; about his day, about her day, about his stories and adventures in the past.
When she had moved up and became the director of Applied Sciences she thought that his visits would be over. She was wrong. He still came down to see her like clockwork. And if he did this yoga class every Wednesday at noon then it made sense why he came down to her office around 2 o'clock looking fresh as a daisy and relaxed; always somehow with a problem with his computer. Sara called it flirting but Felicity didn't believe that. Why would Oliver Queen come down from the top floors to flirt with her?
So in conclusion she was a mix of relaxed, confused, and slightly aroused by one Oliver Queen and his green and black, yoga covered ass; which she was totally not looking at as he gave a final stretch and stood up.
"Ok ladies, Savasana was our last pose for today. See you next week," Oliver said with a clap of his hands. All the women stood up and began collecting their things. Felicity scrambled up and stood from her mat. Sara gave her a curious look as Felicity rolled up her mat quickly before grabbing her bag and waiting. Ignoring Sara's looks, she tried not letting anything show on her face. She needed to get out of the 'Yoga Oliver' zone as soon as possible because that man was a menace who confused her and made her blush more than she had in her entire life. And Felicity didn't like being confused and flustered. Sara finally rolled up her mat and Felicity turned to exit the room only to run into a wall. Looking up in surprise she saw that the wall was actually a wall of slightly sweaty and well defined muscle now known in her head as 'Yoga Oliver'.
He was giving her a coy smile, "Could I talk to you?"
"Wish I could but I've got late lunch plans with Sara," Felicity let out quickly.
Oliver looked around quickly, "Sara?"
Felicity glanced around the room, shock clear on her face. The entire room was clear, except a couple women hanging around the door obviously waiting for Oliver. When they caught sight of Oliver standing there with her they dispersed. More importantly Sara was gone, bag and all. She felt herself bristle a bit; Sara had left her here on purpose. The entire sign up for the class, the exclusion of the fact that Oliver taught this class, and abandoning her was on purpose.
"She's gone," Felicity finally muttered.
"That she is," Oliver replied as he watched her.
For some reason she felt as if his eyes were pinning her in place. There was no way that she was going to be able to escape this, "So…you teach yoga? In really really form fitting pants."
Oliver bit his lip and Felicity's eyes zeroed in on them before catching his eyes again. Eyes lit up with amusement he said, "Every Wednesday."
"Is that why you come and visit me every Wednesday looking happy and relaxed?" she couldn't help but ask.
He tilted his head and gave her an inquisitive look, "Partially."
She wasn't that answer and wanted to know more, "Partially?"
"Yeah, partially. Half of it's because of yoga," Oliver began. He raised a hand and touched the tail end of her ponytail, which rested on her shoulder, "The other half is because I get to see you."
Felicity felt her breath catch at the confession, "What?"
Oliver bulldozed right through, "Wednesdays are my favourite days because of you. I asked Sara to invite you here because last week you looked stressed."
"Also I wanted to ask if you'd like to have dinner," Oliver stated.
Felicity felt her hands tighten on the yoga mat in her hands, "Dinner?"
"Or lunch if you want. Since Sara abandoned you and all," Oliver suggested in a bemused voice.
Felicity shuffled in place a bit. She felt like her mind had been blown. Oliver Queen had just asked her out. Things that before looked like Oliver coming down to bug her with crazy questions about his laptop suddenly cleared up. How could she have been so stupid and not seen this?
"So you never had any computer problems?" she asked in a light but slightly accusing tone. He had been messing with his laptop just to visit her for months now.
"Nope," Oliver said, popping the 'p' as he smirked, "How else was I going to see you?"
Felicity felt warmth blossom across her cheeks at the comment. She was again stunned when Oliver's hand left her ponytail and came up to touch the apple of her cheek. She felt his proximity at that moment; body barely a foot from hers. This was really happening. Oliver Queen had asked her out.
"Burgers," Felicity blurted out.
"Burgers. There's this place nearby that has the best burgers. We can go there," Felicity said nervously. If this was really happening she wasn't going to let this opportunity pass by. She watched as Oliver's face lit up at the answer. She held up one finger, "On one condition."
Oliver nodded, "Name it."
Felicity pointed down, "The pants. You can't wear those to lunch."
"Why not?" Oliver asked before commenting with, "You liked them."
She narrowed her eyes slightly. She knew it! He was a menace and he knew it all along. Bet he even did all the extra stretching and the whole 'spread your legs a bit more' thing on purpose. Crossing her arms over her chest she asked, "You did it all on purpose didn't you?"
He had the nerve to give her a soft and languid smile, "I was just teaching a class. Yoga is good for stress and we both know our positions have a lot of it."
He was lying and they both knew it. Ignoring it for the moment she pursed her lips, "So burgers for no yoga pants? Well you need pants. Just not those. Not for burgers."
He gave a surprised huff of laughter and leaned forward. For a second she thought he was going to kiss her right then and there. Instead he leaned close to her ear, breath warm on the side of her face.
"Deal," he said in a teasing tone. Felicity felt a shiver run through her as he hovered near her; nose bumping against the side of her cheek before Oliver pulled back. His eyes looked dark and Felicity knew that her eyes matched his. Yoga Oliver did things to her that she fully didn't understand and that he was ready to exploit.
His eyes widened and he gave a satisfyingly smug look. She had said that aloud. Before she could say something to her defence Oliver held up a hand to stop her.
"Meet down in the lobby in 15," Oliver said as he walked backwards, eyes still on her and the smug look transforming into a smile. Felicity felt a smile tug at her lips.
"Sure. Meet in 15," Felicity agreed as her eyes followed Oliver's retreat. Tugging his bag up once more he turned around and began walking to the exit. Her eyes immediately fell down to his perky and well-rounded bottom. She was pretty sure she was welcome to look at it.
Oliver paused at the now open door and turned to look at her. He gave her a small wink before saying, "Knew you liked the pants. Green's your favourite colour right?" He then turned and left.
Felicity shook her head and laughed. He'd worn those sinful and sculpting yoga pants that left nothing to the imagination on purpose. Felicity didn't know what she'd gotten herself into with this lunch date. She also didn't know how this invitation to yoga and stalking with fake computer incidents began without her realizing it. But, she did know three things for sure. One, those pants were made for him and she hoped to see them again. Two, Oliver Queen was without a doubt a menace. And three, she liked it.
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AN: So tell me what you think? What did you like and what would you like to see be included in the sequel full of sexy times and maybe putting that yoga into good use.
Easter Egg: The positions Oliver made them all do were yoga poses for better sex. It prepares you…lol.
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