7The winter months on Berk were just like the ones that Valka remembered. Blistering cold, high winds, and below freezing temperatures. The only good thing was the winter holidays. Oh, how she had missed them. Just being around those you loved was enough for her. For the twenty years that she was gone from Berk, it got pretty lonely with no people to talk to. Sure she had her dragons, but it still wasn't the same. She did miss her family and her friends, but she couldn't go back.
At least back then, she felt she couldn't. The villagers couldn't change her and she couldn't change them. Stoick couldn't change her and she couldn't change him.
The endless fighting would have taken its toll on her eventually. Oh, how she hated it. All the blood shed and loss. It was pointless. She had known there could be peace and back then, she was proven right.
The other reason she didn't return was that she had feared for her dragon, Cloudjumper. If she returned and they didn't wait to listen to her; she wouldn't have been able to live with herself if Cloudjumper was hurt or killed. She knew Cloudjumper wouldn't have left her there alone. Within a short time, they had developed a strong bond.
Shaking her head to stop thinking of the past, she quickly got back to work helping out Gobber. He was busy today building saddles. He had more orders for saddles than usual thanks to the holidays coming up. She was helping by looking after the dragons that needed a tooth checkup. She was a natural when it came to dragons. Gobber didn't have to train her much before she got the hang of it.
She guessed Hiccup got his dragon talent from her. They were more alike than she had first thought. When he was born, she thought for sure he would take after his dad. He was such the little fighter back then. (She guessed he still was in a way.) She thought for sure he would take after his father when she was no longer in the picture. The great Stoick raising his son to be a dragon killer just like himself. It still broke her heart thinking of that.
Boy was she surprised when she met Hiccup the first time in twenty years. The way he could control the dragons and had no fear when it came to the dragons. The fact that he was riding a dragon and had him as a pet surprised her. That was even before she found out he was her son. She thought she was the only Viking to ride a dragon or even care for them. He cared for Toothless just as much as she cared for Cloudjumper, if not even more. She believed he would die so his dragon could live and vice-versa.
She shook her head again to get focused back onto her work.
"You ok, Valka?" asked Gobber looking over at her worriedly.
"Yes, why would you ask me that?" asked Valka refusing to look at Gobber and trying to concentrate on her work.
"Oh, I don't know maybe just maybe it is the fact that you keep shaking your head." Stated Gobber waving his hammer around like an idiot.
"This is not the time to talk, it is the time to work." Said an annoyed Valka.
"Maybe I will tell you what is wrong later. But there is work to be done now" She whispered underneath her breath, hoping that he didn't hear.
"OK then, I will ask you later." Said Gobber with a grin before going back singing a Viking song.
She mentally kicked herself for saying that. She didn't even know why she said it; it just came out so fast that she didn't even think about it before saying it.
Later came too soon in her opinion. Gobber sat next to her in the great hall with some ale in his cup hand and another glass in the other. He handed the other one over to her and said "Its later. What has been bugging you so much, Valka? And don't say nothing is cause we both know that is bullshit. You have been like this for the last few days, not just today. Now spill."
"I don't know were to begin." She whispered.
"Well, if it was me I would start in the beginning. What started all your, you know?" said Gobber gesturing to all of her.
"Unpleasant thoughts?" she offered.
"Yea, those." Stated Gobber taking a chug of ale while he waited for her to continue.
"Your thoughts are about Stoick and Hiccup, right?" pushed Gobber when she didn't say anything.
"I guess those unpleasant thoughts started a week ago. I keep thinking of the past and what could've been. How I missed so much and still do." She said trailing off at the end.
"Go on. I know you have more to say, Valka." Said Gobber.
Glaring at him before she continued, "some days I wonder why I never came back. Others I wish I did. I miss him so much, you know. I really did love him. I just thought they, he, would be better off without me. I feel guilty that I wasn't here to enjoy…" Valka stopped talking after this. She didn't know what to say next and the pain in her heart was getting worse.
Lucky for her, Gobber knew what to say.
"Now Valka, there is no reason to feel guilty or to look in the past for that matter. Sure, abandoning your family was 'wrong' or something along those lines; but you believed it was for the best. You blamed yourself for Hiccup, and Stoick, almost getting killed. You couldn't kill a dragon. Why would you go back if you couldn't kill? You would've been hurt or killed yourself; or worse, gotten Hiccup or Stoick hurt or killed. I understand why you stayed away. I also know the other reason." Said Gobber taking another chug of ale.
Valka gave him a questioning look before he continued, "The other reason was because you were scared. Scared of being rejected, or outcast. Scared that you would have to lose the ones you loved because you couldn't fight. But I know for a fact and not to make you feel worse, Stoick would have accepted you no matter what. He would have turned the world inside out looking for you if he knew you were still alive. He loved you with all his heart and still does. You wouldn't have scared him off."
"Now to tell you something I told Stoick long ago. What do you do when a love one can't be here for the holidays? We celebrate them and I imagine that is what Stoick would want you to do. Stoick missed you the years you were gone, but he still celebrated the holidays anyway. He would want you to be happy." Gobber said with that Gobber smile of his.
They sat in silence until Gobber had gotten the courage to talk again.
"I know you miss him, but you are not the only one who does. I bet Hiccup misses him more than you do. No offence, but he was his father and he was the only family he had until you came back. Hiccup never had a great childhood, being the chief's son is hard. He never got to know his mother. Stoick hurt too much to tell him stories of you or even of himself growing up. That last part was because it reminded him of you. I bet Hiccup would love to hear stories of you and Stoick growing up." Gobber said while getting up to get more ale.
"How about you go visit your son and make up all the time you missed. I would bet on Thor's hammer that he would like that." Gobber said before walking away.
Valka sat there thinking after Gobber left. Maybe I should go over and visit Hiccup she thought. It may help after all and I may help him as well.
With those thoughts, she got up and left the Great Hall headed for Hiccup's house. Being the chief, he sometimes worked late and was rarely home. She was thinking of things to say to him, worried she would be bothering him or mess up some how. When she walked up to the house; the light was on so that was a good sign he was there.
Walking up to the door, she paused for a second trying to compose herself. Knocking, she heard a voice saying coming before the door opened up to see Hiccup standing there smiling at her. She knew then that she did the right thing for once.
Author's note
I came up with this one shot when I was watching the second How to Train Your Dragon. I may add on to this, like make it a two, or maybe even three parts. But that would only happen if I come up with something to write about or if enough people want me to continue. I for the live of me can't spell out the holiday, Snoggeltog or something like that. That's why I didn't use it and called it winter holidays. I hope I got the characters close to the movie characters. I don't think I got Gobber right. I apologize if I didn't do a good job. I hope you enjoyed this!