It's been a little over a week and I practically know everything about her. She wouldn't stop talking about whatever she thought. It was truly the most annoying thing, but in the end I didn't feel alone like I use to. I didn't tell her anything about me, she says I'm close book. Which I am, I mean who would want to be my friend after they found out what my father does. No one knew about me, and that the way I wanted to keep it.

Except for her she was so persistent, but the less she knew about me the better. Today, my dad was forcing me to take part of his business. I was supposed to watch him kill someone, or something. Maybe worse… watch him torture people, I didn't want to. But it's not like I had a choice after all.

He took me inside an abandon house, where his body guards waited patiently outside. I walked behind him with no emotion in my face. Regardless of how scared I was, I felt myself shiver to the cold. My heart began raising… I didn't want to do this. But if I said anything that oppose my dad's decision I would probably end up dead like my mom.

He told me to stand behind a dirty window, as I watch him go inside a door. I look through the window, there was my dad, and there was a guy tide in a chair. Half dead, and badly burned… I wonder if he was the same guy from the other night.

My dad untied the bandana which was over his mouth. As it fell on the floor, the man began to awaken. He was aware that today was going to be the last day of his life. I wonder what he did…. I wonder why my dad wants him dead. I wonder many things…

I watch the men suffer as my dad stabs him with a knife, he yells in pain. At that moment I didn't feel anything, not even pity for him. He must have deserved it, he should have done what was right… in order to keep his life. My dad waves me over, and I knew what had to be done.

"Finish him." He says with no emotion.

I take the gun from the table and look straight at the men. My hands position inside the handles for the gun. At first my hands can't be still. The man yells at my dad, he tells him how a bad figure he is to me.

My dad punches him, and yells at me to get it over with. I look at the men one last time, he looks directly at my eyes. As if they were asking me, if I really was able to shot him. I stare at his green emerald eyes… and before I knew it. He was dead.

The image of a crying Kori flashed in my mind.

My dad gave me an evil smile and praised me. He said I did great, and I was going to get rewarded.

I asked my dad who the man was. He laughed and said no one now.

I had the feeling… that I had killed Kori's dad today.


A week had passed since I had made a new friend… perhaps my only friend. Rachel… that was her name. She's not like anyone I've met before. She is secretive and dark, like an untold story waiting to be read. I asked her many questions about herself, but she choose not to answer many. I asked her why, but she simply said she didn't have an answer.

We talked about me, most of the time. I told her everything about my life… well almost. She saw me cry, when I told her about how my dad had not return. She didn't say anything, she just looked at me. I wonder what made her so numb to other people's feelings.

I told her about my mom, who doesn't care for me… she told me something I will never forget.

"At least you have one."

When she said that... I wanted nothing more than to cut. I was so stupid to mention things that might have affected her life. I apologized to her, but she said it didn't matter.

I tried to change the subject, I asked her if we could hang out during the weekend. She denied.

I wonder what's wrong, why does she keep shutting me out.

I'm I that worthless?

I hear my mom yell my name, and I quickly get of my room and run and see what she needs.

"Yes?" I asked her as I see her on the phone.

I wait for her to hang up, I see her face and it's not pretty. She is crying and broken, I ask her what's wrong. She tells me is my dad… and his been found. My eyes shine before she tells me.

That they had found him dead.

My eyes darken I begin to cry, my dad is dead. DEAD…DEAD…DEAD.

I run to my room and lock the door, I look for the sharp razor that is hidden in my drawer. I pull up my sleeves and look at my healed cuts from before. Just one… I say as I press the sharp object into my skin. I try not to make it deep, in fear that my mom will check.

Tears run down my cheeks like a river. I know for a fact I am worthless.

My mom is crying and I can hear things break. I close my eyes as I deliver the pain into my wrists. Not one cut but six. I couldn't stop… I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for the pain. It was too much to take in, I needed to stop. I couldn't go back to the girl I was.

The weak… pathetic...worthless… girl I am right now.

I needed to change, I needed to be a better me. Like I promised to the doctors, but how if the adrenaline from my cuts asks for more. And the demon in my head tells me it only take me one more. I've lost myself… I've lost control.

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