A/N: This is my Secret Santa gift for The Sarcasm Master.

This is set after TDI, before TDA/possible non-existance of future seasons.

Total Insanity Island

The island left them all a little bit scarred. They'd gone in with high expectations, all of which Chris had torn away from them in the first three seconds of landing on the dock. Five star accommodation was quickly replaced by dirty, smelly cabins. Luxury food was disturbingly replaced with three week old garbage trimmings. Nobody had left without a severe case of food poisoning after that.

Now it had been two weeks since the live finale aired. Two weeks since all of the campers had been allowed to head home to the safety of their beds, a good hundred miles away from each other. They didn't know what they'd do if they were all forced out of their recluse.

Well, they were about to find out.

Chris McLean's smiling face came into focus. His hair was recently dyed, his clothes fresh from the press. He still wore the same blue shirt, same stupid Khaki's, same cheap-ass puka shell necklace. His facade was yet to break as he stood in the familiar background of Camp Wawanakwa.

It had been two weeks since his face had been on the television screen of millions of homes across the nation. Chris had deemed that two weeks too long. So, in an epic quest for more fame, he had put his best brains to work on how to get himself back on air.

A mini-series? Not his style. A mini-series which featured the twenty-two contestants from Total Drama Island returning to the island in dire need of a counselling session from each other? That was most definitely his style.

Each contestant turned him down one by one, to which Chris brought out his ultimate weapon: fine print.

So, here he was, announcing the start of his new reality show, a spin-off of the very popular Total Drama Island. No one was smiling as much- and as wickedly- as Chris McLean.

The contestants returned one by one, each grumbling more than the last. It had only been a matter of weeks since they each left the island so there was no need for lengthy introductions. The audience knew who everyone was, the cast knew who each other were, well enough for very few people to be standing anywhere near each other.

Bridgette and Geoff were making out in the far corner. Katie and Sadie were squealing over Justin just close enough for Eva to clamp her hands over her ears.

Lindsay was fluttering around everyone, the confusion on her face as she remembered no one. LeShawna gently patting Tyler's back as he broke down crying watching his girlfriend not remembering who he was.

Gwen and Trent were standing close by, the former blushing at something the latter said, only for Cody to throw him arm around her shoulder, dragging her down to his level.

All the while Harold got himself tangled in his yo-yo and fell off the dock.

"Welcome, campers-"

"Ex-campers," Heather bit back bitterly.

"-to the next step in your contracts," Chris smiled, ignoring the interruption. "After the first season left you all...uh...a little special in the heads, we've decided that you are all in need of counseling." A couple of the campers straightened up at the sound of this. "Now, the budget doesn't cover the hiring of professional counselors. So you'll have to make do...with each other!" The wicked grin came back into play.

There was a collective groan before the abuse starting flying.

Instinctively, the SWAT team surrounded Chris with protective shields before anyone could throw any sharp objects his way.

Using his megaphone, Chris continued to shout over the SWAT team and the campers, "Now, I'm going to divide you into two teams: the counselors and the counselee's. If I call your name, go stand by the stairs.

"Izzy, Eva, Lindsay, Beth," Chris shouted out.

"Could you make the insane any less obvious?" Noah remarked with an eye roll.

Chris ignored him and continue, "Gwen, Bridgette, Katie, DJ."

"Wait, what?" Gwen called out in protest.

"Geoff, Beth, Justin. You guys are the councilors."

"WHAT?!" Everyone else screamed.

"Hold up," Courtney screeched. "I'm in need of counseling but Izzy to pyro freak is not?!"

Chris gave a shrug in response, not really caring for the next hurl of abuse as he stayed tucked away behind his SWAT team.

"Now," the host continued into his megaphone," the rest of you are going to be the counselee's. The counselors will each get a file on the person they will be counselling with the added bonus of some home truths to put an interesting twist on this show." The wicked grin came into play again and the campers were starting to remember what it was like to fear for their lives.

A/N: Kinda short Part 1...

But I must say I'm happy with the way this turned out considering how hard a time I have had with it :P

Anyways, Merry belated Christmas, Sam :D And everyone else as well.

I hope to have Part 2 up soon.

Thanks for reading, please review (:

Love, ChloeRhiannonX