So, I've read quite a few Familiar of Zero (Zero no Tsukiama) fanfics recently, and I'm fairly disturbed by the lack of realism present in them. Lets be honest here. In fact, I'm going to write "How it Should Have Gone"s for multiple scenes I think are stupid.

This is a continuation of Chapter 1.

The Fourth:

Fanfic - any where the future familiar has a backbone.

"Familiar, by the time I get up in the morning, I expect you to have washed all my clothes. Got it?"

Louise promptly fell asleep.

When she woke up, she had an ache in her bones that was not usually associated with sleeping on her warm, comfy, bed...

That was currently occupied by [Insert Character Name Here].

She sat up in shock, and looked down.

She was laying in a pile of her still dirty clothes, on the floor!


The Fifth:

Fanfic - same as previous, any backboned familiar

"Familiar, you are going to eat food on the floor, like a dog!"

[Insert Character Name Here] looked at her incredulously, before picking her up, moving her over, sitting next to her in the new place, and starting to eat food.


The Sixth:

Fanfic - any intelligent familiar that fights consistantly

"I get it, alright? You're looking down on me because I can't do magic like everyone else! Stop looking down on me."

[Insert Character Name Here] just stared at her.

She blushed redder. "Stop staring!"

"So you... are good at exploding things?"

"Yeah, so?"

"And your country has a military, right?"

"Yeah, so"

"And there are nobles in the military, right?"

"Of course! Without them, our country would be overrun!"

"So why not become some sort of military battle-mage that utterly annihilates the enemy forces with explosions?"

Louise looked like she was about to say something, then stopped. And stared. Then looked up at the ceiling. Then stared back at [Insert Character Name Here], an embarrassed blush growing on her cheeks.

"Shut up, stupid familiar!"