822All rights to the fifty shades thing used characters and plots are property of EL James, but as this story is mine and is not like the fifty shades series at all, all, I did was borrow the lifestyle and a few names... If you want our favourite man, unchanged and still fifty shades and the originality of E L James, then read them again, lol...
Epilogue...
Chapter 31:
All's well that ends well:
C POV:
Whilst facing the soothing waters of the Puget Sound, we are taking in the afternoon sun and relaxing, I hear the pleasing giggles from the twins, and as I look back towards the house, I can see Ana walking towards me with our baby girl. Phoebe and Teddy are bringing up the rear, with their puppies, and yes, they have one each, the two energetic things are so fucking cute. My children are like mini tornadoes, the puppies are cute and energetic too, I laugh, the dogs were meant to calm them down, alas, they wind them up more, and the joke was on us for believing Elliot. They are busy giving them a last run out before Elliot comes for them, he is pup sitting while we are leaving for our place in Aspen, Ana and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary next month, that day unusual day is fast approaching and we want some alone time. We were torn, it was a happy day and then a mad day and yes a sad day, as I said an unusual day filled with a plethora of mixed emotions.
This will be our first time back, because after the courthouse incident, I am very wary of going back. Ana suffered from PTSD afterwards and withdrew, she was in a bad place for weeks afterwards. I don't remember much after flying through the air to grab Pea, but it took me almost six gruelling months to use my leg correctly again, so I will be giving the skiing a miss. I had two weeks in a hospital bed and a gruelling flight home, with the twins who were very vocal and energetic about going to see Sea Tattle. Ana is still in counselling eleven months later, and all though finding out we were pregnant a few weeks later, helped her to heal a little, she still has the odd nightmare and temper tantrum with me, I know I am annoying her, but I cannot help it, my family have to be kept safe. The little bundle in my lap wiggles as I finish his bottle.
"Here do you want to swap, Amelia is clean and her belly is on empty, how is James?" I look down, and see the face of an angel sucking his fist and making those grunting poopy faces, and then an odious smell coming from his butt, hits my nostrils.
"He is very content, though like his sister before him, he needs his bottom cleaning..." Phoebe comes towards the edge of the jetty.
"Daddy James smells yucky... Daddy, you know 'cos you loves me." She says in her I want something Daddy voice, my daughter has mastered getting her own way, and at three and a half, she is quite the force to be reckoned with. She is affectionately known to everyone, staff and family alike, as Pea. She uses those gray eyes as if they are her own secret weapon of Daddy Destruction, though when she has one of her episodes we put out the 'pea soup warning' because we half expect her head to spin on her neck. Most of it is down to me spoiling her and I have in the past six months, toned it down or tried. I had to before the arrival of the babies. I have made a rod for everyone's back, including poor Ana.
She is calming down, and the fear both Ana and I had about her being jealous of her siblings, actually proved not to be the case. She is a very attentive big sister, she follows Ana around like a mini mom. With four children under four, we were dreading her head spinning tantrums. When Amelia and James brought their older brother and sister, the little English Bull Dog and the very adorable blue eyed Husky a month ago, they thought they were both great. Mom had said it gave the twins something else to focus on.
Poor Duchess and Duke have all their focus all right, Duchess, she is so damned patient when Pea tries to get the wrinkles to flatten out around her jaw and eyes, something I must admit to trying this several times myself, her doggie has to grow into the mass of excess skin she has. I do laugh when Pea makes her pup wear the clothes she had to buy her from the posh pooch parlour. Ted, he is the polar opposite of his sister, he and his dog, walk, play ball and bond. I wonder what Pea wants this time? I can hazard a guess it's for the dogs to come with us.
"Pea, it is because I love you that I will be saying no," I reply, "you cannot take Duchess and Duke to Italy; they are too little and needs their injections and they have a doctor visit. Please do not cry, and remember when I say no, I mean no." I give it five seconds before those gray eyes start pooling with tears.
"Daddy, you got me a puppy and now I can't take her on holiday, it's not fair." Teddy should be my wingman, but he loves his dog too.
"But Daddy, Dumdog and Wrinklbutt will be very lonely." Pea has her own name for the pampered pooches, thanks to Elliot.
"Pea, your dog is not being called Wrinkle anything; how many times do we have to tell you?" Ana says, we work together and try to tame the beast I created.
"I want Duke to comes too Daddy." Teddy, our gentle, mild mannered, quiet little boy bats his eyes too.
"Ana, help a man out here before I give in again."
"The puppies have to go to see the doggy doctor, and need to rest up, whilst we go away Baby, they need to rest up a lot."
"Like when you had Am and Jam Mommy?" She may be talkative and non-stop but she cannot grasp her sisters name and for months they have been named Am and Jam, and fear this will continue to be the case.
"Yes Pea, so when we get back, they will be all well and ready to play." I sigh, and they will be minus their baby making parts, we do not want our puppies to have puppies.
"Hu kays, Unkie Lelliot best be good with my doggy or else..."
"He will Baby, he loves Duchess and Duke too. Granny Grace will look in on them every day." I reassure her mom will be there for their pups.
"She will?" I nod. I look towards Ana and realise she has to go and see her therapist before we leave for a month. Gail however has not forgotten, and comes to help with the children. We walk Ana to the front door, where Prescott is waiting to take her into Settle. She is Ana's only protection, since Joseph and Lydia have now left Ana's employment, and live in Oregon, where they run survival and bonding courses for the uncoordinated, rich and corporate bigwigs and their staff. Our staff at GEH are frequent visitors there...
"Are you sure you don't need me there today?" I ask, but Gail cannot handle all four of them on her own, though I think she could, if I gave her the chance, but I don't, I like being a hands-on father.
"No, I will be fine, it's just a talk. Thanks Gail, Christian can you bathe Pea and Teddy? I will be back in a couple of hours, come on you two give Mommy a squishy hug. Christian their travel pj's are all ready on their beds and Gail the babies have their things laid out too." Pea dances her way to her mom, puckers up and latches on, Teddy hugs her legs and they wave goodbye. God I need my bed, I wave as she sets off and watch until the car is no longer in view.
Ana's Pov:
I am totally wiped out, and as I sit in the back of the SUV, I relax for the first time all day. Four children it seems, is taking its toll on my once clear mind, toned body and organised life, pre babies I was so focused, why did that seem like I was talking about another person? Prescott is my CPO and listens as I whine about being still being fat, the spoilt kids we now have, the crappy yappy dogs Christian took them for without telling me, and about how sometimes I could throttle Christian and his need to protect. She smiles and says very little, something else I like about her; she knows when to keep her mouth shut and when to speak. I understand why Christian panics and why he feels the need to protect us and given the lengths, I went to in keeping them safe I should be more supporting. I am, as he knows, more than able to protect our family and myself, and that's where we have a problem I am not used to doing nothing all day, but look after toddlers, babies and bloody dogs.
This is the issue we are discussing today my failure to give up my control issues and Christians all to willingness to run the whole shebang his way. Doctor John Flynn and I bash heads and clash in each session we have ever had, and I love it, his silent understanding helps too, were as with Christian I seem to have become very good at keeping things bottled up, and saying I understand doesn't really mean, in my case, that I really do understand. Yes, I am the very contradiction of my own thoughts. As we get there, Prescott scans the pathway to John's office and I follow her. I smile as she makes me hang back until the elevators doors open. Checked out, I am allowed in.
"Thanks Prescott, I can get there on my own." Prescott is the only one of our protection who insists we call her by her surname... She is the only one, who knows too, when I say something, I want it done and not routed through Taylor, or god forbid Mr Control Freak, for their approval. I knock and go in.
"Hello Ana. Please take a seat, how are you?"
"I am tired, drained and in desperate need of a very large glass of wine, thanks for asking John."
"That bad, please take a seat. Now, we are discussing Christian's need to keep you and the children swaddled."
"We are yes. He says you and he made a breakthrough in your last session. He was very excited when he got home yesterday."
"He did. He turned the corner, in a big way."
"I know; we are down to just a dozen security staff now. I think he still has a long way to go, but it was a big deal for him to let go of the army surrounding us, and the damned house. I even found him ordering a mini sub on line, to troll the waters leading to our water fronted home." He smiles, what does he know I don't?
"He has in fact ordered it, but not for the purpose of water spying Ana, it is for fun times at your island house with the children so they can swim with Nemo; he is taking lessons, but that's between you and me, be prepared to look shocked." He is still into his man and boy toys. I smile, as he passes me a tissue. Why did I think the worst? "It's coming up to your first anniversary, how are you feeling about that?"
"I have differing emotions, given three good men died looking out for my family. Sometimes I think I am over it and then I see Christian at the top of the staircase at home and then I suddenly feel sick, I stare, I panic and it all comes back, seeing them fall, seeing the dot and then the shoot or be shot thing. I would do it all again, because I did everything right. I still believe it's not over, because it was such an anti climax, you know, the end of three years of running around after her and the kill was too easy."It turns out she had an aneurism and had probably died before I shot her, but shoot her I did.
"It is what it is, PTSD, it can be very debilitating, you however have made great steps into healing yourself."
"The twins helped, the second set, though the first ones help too. I needed the focus to be on something other than chasing the Ghost around the globe. Now I chase away the ghosts in my head."
"I remember you coming here for the first time months ago; you have made great progress Ana..."
"I had to come and see you, Christian had us cocooned at Escala, the twins were very lively and being spoilt ignoring me and Christian enabling their bad ways, and I had just read and filed my last report on the case, they were out at the zoo, giving crabby Mommy some space, and I wandered around the apartment, and for the first time, I really looked at the place I was calling home, that was the day I found out where his red room of pain was. I wondered did he want to change me or was I making him change, am I enough are we enough, don't answer, because I already know your reply, I'm more than enough or the room would still be there, right?"
"You had all ready begun to change Christian within days of him meeting you, he had no need for that part of his life again, and I was pleased to hear he was in a normal relationship. As you know when he came back, that wasn't the case; he was in a very dark place. I expected him to change back into the dominant he had only just rid himself of."
"He said as much to me, I thought though he wanted that life back when he found an old whip and was swishing it around, I then had a major rant imagining the others in the apartment, finding out my cosy sitting room, used to be that room, and well that was the straw that broke the camel's back, he called you and here we are. I don't want to rehash all that, we both did stupid things and have forgiven each other, his family have been a lot better with excepting what I did and why. Seeing your loved ones nearly die does that, it puts everything else into prospective."
"Indeed it does, so the control issues, how are they affecting you, how do you feel and what can he do to make things better, or what can we do to make you feel better?"
"And there is the million dollar question; I have to give up control to make myself better. I am feeling better now the security has gone, I feel better because the baby blues have gone, but I am never going to change Christian and his need to protect his family, I mean who the hell am I to talk about his overprotecting our family?"
"You are very much birds of a feather, but you stepping back into the role of mother and wife has helped him step back into the Alfa Male role again."
"John, for Christ's sake; I didn't step up out or anywhere near the damned shoes of pretending to be a mother and a wife, I am all those things and I am not playing at it. I am mother to four and wife to one. I am the leader of my own life. I am the one who made the choice to step down from the role of protector, because I failed the last time I needed to protect, I think I proved that, I think I know who is better at managing our security, because he listens to advice, I just give it..."The penny dropped and as I calmed down after my rant, the expensive charlatan sat opposite was grinning, oh okay, I am there...
"And there we have it, the breakthrough, now discuss..."
"...Discuss what? That I have bottled up my failure to protect?"
"Well do you not think that is the case?"
"No, well yes but no..." I am stammering, Anastasia Steele does not stammer, but hell Mamma Grey does... Here comes the tears and here comes the clarity we have worked on for, for almost a year, I am ready to let go of my guilt, fuck a duck, do I cry...
"There how does that feel?" I am out of time tissues and tears. "Ana, you've turned the corner too."
"All hail the great one. I feel ten times lighter Doc. I thank you and you can bet the kids and Christian will thank you too."
"All in a year's work Ana; my bill is in the post. Ana are you oaky without medication?"
"I am; the children are all the happy pills I need to be taking. I contrary to belief did relinquish control over having control, when I found out I was having the babies."
"How so Ana, I mean we know you were shocked, you both were, that much was evident when I asked was there a possibility of you being pregnant right here in this very room?"
"I remember that day so damned well; Christian dragged me here because everything he did pissed me off, the children were annoying me and I was a major basket case, please don't remind me. I had been shot at, I had been operated on and yet our babies still came to no harm. That is what made me want give up the need to control things, I needed to relinquish control and I didn't want to. Still the need to be a mom came first and a badass secret agent came in second, as neither one job is good enough to do half assed. I am a mom first, and they survived all that, so I focused on the children and the ones in production."
"So, if you knew back then in our first visit, why did you keep coming to see me?"
"I like winning an argument. Logically, with Christian, I know I can win, but him losing out to me all the time was pathetic, his sulking was not a pretty sight, and so what if I lose a few battles, if it keeps the damned peace."
"Bingo, she has a full house."
"What, what's bingo got to do with me saying that?"
"You are the perfect wife, mother and you are becoming the perfect faux submissive."
"What? I am never going to be a submissive; that room went a long time ago and the whip too was thrown away."
"I know, but you are letting Christian control you."
"I am not, oh crap I am. I guess I am, am I? I mean, really, can I be submissive in that way and be enough for him?"
"Ana, you are enough for him, and I quote the great one himself; you are the 'yin to his yang.' You are not submitting per sae, you are allowing him control over that particular part of your lives together, that's all. A little give on your part and more take on his part. However, that said, does he control everything you do together or as a family?"
"No, hell no, we discuss and then the children tell us what we are doing. They are two domineering little CEO's in the making, especially Pea. She is her daddy's daughter for sure."
"So, are you clear in the breakthrough you made today?"
"Yes, I think so; I willingly gave up control of something I didn't want to do, to someone who needs it more and needs to protect us with that same control. I need a holiday, because that hurt my head. I am tired, cranky and throwing Pea sized tantrums with him again, and I guess his issues were beginning to piss me off again."
I am not pregnant again; crap or am I? After all we are forever doing it, we never stopped, apart from when he was in a cast and that only lasted until his leg was let down in hospital and the six weeks doctor enforced waiting time after the little ones birth. I count back and feel sick, fudge no way, no way am I having more children, because the babies are not even four months old.
"Ana, are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah I guess I am; I mean of course I am, I will see you in a month, have a quiet month Doc, we will as Arnie says, 'be back...'" I head out to find Prescott waiting for me.
"Ana, are you okay, you look pale?"
"I need to go to the pharmacy to pick up some things before we get home."
"Okay, this way. You really do look pale, should I get Jason to drive Christian here?"
"No, no I am fine, tired but fine. Are you and Luke and the two R's ready for Aspen?"
"Yes, yes we are, Gail, Sophie and Jason will be missed, but I guess we can manage. The threat rate isn't at delta force one this time." I smile; it may be if I am with child again, I'm sure I throw up in my mouth a little. Six children all under five, I am feeling more than a little queasy. We park up and I run in alone for the junior painkillers, the adult ones and a couple of test sticks to make my day complete. I pop next door and grab ice cream and sauce; if I am pregnant, I am eating all four gallons of the stuff.
When we arrive home, it is so peaceful; the place looks like a war zone with the all the teddies, the dolls, the Lego bricks, that are camouflaged in the carpet and waiting for my bare-naked foot to stand on them, bringing forth the funny curse dance again. There are the blankies, which smell suspiciously of baby up chuck and the detritus that having four children bring to the party, is evident to see... I do my Snow White impression and in no time the great lounge has back it's cleanness.
"Hello Wife, when did you do this?"
"When you Husband were reading 'if I was a Pumpkin' to Pea..." Her favourite book is a poem book written by children. "Where are the dogs, asleep in their beds?"
"Yeah, Elliot is coming for them in an hour. Are you okay Baby, you look like shit, but in a good way." Nice backtrack Grey.
"Nice save, if looking like crap has a good way. I had a good session with John, were I admitted finally I did like to control things more than I let on, and yes I realise now I was doing it and no I don't want to do it again, or have it again, I mean every time I can control something, something I can control, but somehow forget to control, I lose control over it, one thing only I can control and I fuck it up..."
"Well, rant much, what control, did you not control, that has you all messed up?"
"No, no way, you will be so angry, you will leave me, you, you will want to take them all away..." I fall to the floor and cry.
"Fuck Ana, what the hell have you done, have you hired the army back?"
"No, worse than that, far worse, I am starting our own damned army unit, I mean it Christian I am so sorry, I really am I didn't do it, well I did, but so did you I mean we both are to blame but..."
"...Fuck, what have we done, tell me Ana?" I point to the bag on the counter top...
"In there, it's in the bag..." He runs for the bag and tips out the excessive amount of painkillers baby soothers and all the other crap I grabbed before I grabbed the pregnancy tests.
"Wow, you think we are pregnant again? Well, are we, did you do the test?"
"No, I am cranky though, slamming doors and everything I was when we did it last time."
"So, what are we waiting for?
"For me to start my period would be good." He smiled and carried me to our room. Dropping me at the bathroom door, I peed in a cup and stuck the tips in it. I laid them out on a towel and Christian joined me to stick watch.
"Why is this taking so long Ana?"
"Err shut up, is that a yes, is that a no, what's this one line or two?"We stare and both look at each other and the sticks, we stare at them as the sticks give up their secrets.
"We're not pregnant..." He said looking dejected.
"Thank god. I need a break between them of at least another fifty years."
"Ana, do you want more children, I mean we have never discussed this children thing, they just seem to come along when we practice and I do like practicing, I mean, sorry being flippant there, do you want me to have a vasectomy, you did the hard work having them, so do you want me to have my balls lopped off, I will if that's what you want baby?"
"What, no, I want more children, it's just that I pop them out in two's and its hard work. I need to get an implant or something. I gather from that face you would have liked to see a yes there?"
"We could hire a nanny and fill the house with oodles of cute children."
"Why are you having them?" I smile as he takes me in his arms and kisses my head. "I will see the doctor when we get to Aspen. I am breastfeeding so in theory should not be able to conceive. You would think, given that we are both supposed to be inelegant beings, we would think before we fornicate. Given how bloody fertile we both are, I am amazed that we are not knocked up again."
"Ana, this one says you are what the fuck?"I take a look and smile.
"Get your glasses on old man, vanity nearly caused you to have a heart attack, it says not pregnant."
"Okay, not pregnant. Wow we would have been good with five or six you know."
"We would, would we, nice to know. Here grab these things and throw them in the garbage cans. I don't want them spotted." He throws them in the trashcan and takes it out. I follow him down and spot the soft Ice cream. Fudge, I forgot to put it all away... I make a blender full of ice cream milkshakes and hear Elliot and Christian messing around in the hallway.
"Hello Sis, how are you?"
"Fine, and you how are you Elliot?" He is looking at the milkshake in my hand. "Help yourself there is more, how are Kate and Ava?"
"Great, the outlaw is spoiling her girls. Ethan and Mia are getting the last of the wedding crap done. I swear it's going to be like Disney on ice, did you know you can dickey bows for penguins?"
"I suppose it is possible; there is every other conceivable bit of lunacy out there Elliot. She wanted pink flamingos the last time I spoke to her. A petting zoo and the children riding in on snow sledges pulled by miniature dogs."
"Mom put her off that idea, but Pea was all up for it. Teddy is not coming to the wedding. He is leaving with Dad. They sat drinking dad's finest scotch and discussed him having to wear a dress."
"I think you will find it is a traditional Paige boy outfit, they are pantaloons, and he will look cute, in the photos, according to Mia, I did say he wouldn't wear it, but Mia wants what Mia wants." Christian says and I backtrack to what Elliot said.
"EXCUSE ME..." I shout. "Run the whiskey thing by me?"
"Oh that; when Dad retires to his study, and when the kids stop over, he and Teddy they have man time in his office, they discuss all manner of crap. He thinks the apple juice Dad keeps in his decanter is scotch, it is funny watching them chat over a good single malt."
"Oh, I think, no I know I want that to stop, what it is saying to Teddy, that it is fine for him to drink from a whiskey decanter, what if he takes a drink from your bar Christian?"
"He did, he helped himself, had a sniff and said it was bad apple juice. Dad was told and now he has cartons of juice in his office bar. Mom wasn't happy either, and he only did it the once Elliot."
"Christian, can you get the pups and I will have their things boxed." I say to my husband.
"All ready done, I will just get the shit monsters and be off. Enjoy your break. I have to be off, my woman gets back tomorrow and I missed her." Elliot chirps in.
"I bet, she will be expecting the knee drop Lelliot, her own brother did it, and you won't." They forgot their Parisian plans and decided why rock a boat, but I know Kate wants the wedding they planned a year ago, they need to talk more and listen to each other more. Hark at me the expert.
"If it ain't broke why fix it, we both agree and to be honest with you, it is Kate who doesn't want the ring. I would marry her in a heartbeat, see you later kin folk, I have my doggies to get, I will use the staff exit m'lord and lady..." He kisses my cheek and heads off to kiss the twins and dognap the dogs.
"Right, we need to eat something other than milkshakes, what do you want?" I ask as I hover near the fridge.
"Anything, Gail left a chicken and salad in there, do you want a drink?"
"No, I am okay, I need to express these and then feed the babies before we jet off. I have sore boobs."
"You have perfect boobs. I am a boob man."
"You are a boob, full stop. When we get back, I want to increase the hours I work."
"Really, where did that come from, one minute we're talking boobs and then whammy more working time, are you ready to go back to working longer hours?"
"I decided to throw you a booby thought, to take your mind off the question about work, boobs do that, and screwing with the boss and his head, it has its benefits." He smiles. "I mean I like screwing, I love giving head and love sleeping with my boss, is that a good sweetener?"
"Anastasia, we do not screw we make love, and yes dear I would love to see you and the kids more..."
"That was not what we did three days ago on your desk, that was fucking and hard."
"It was better in your office against the filing cabinets. I knew there was a reason I never hired anyone to fill that corner office. My wife is making waves in the e publishing world and making Grey Publishing the best in the country. Now, if you are sure that the GEH's day care centre, can handle the Grey siblings for a few more hours a week, then I will make it happen."
"I do, besides it is nice they get to interact with the other children there. Teddy likes to get away from Pea for a while."
"So Ana, that brings me to the paperwork you have not signed, why are you stalling?"
"Because I have issues, just because I sleep with my boss, it doesn't mean he has to make me CEO of the damned company."
"I have had that same said company for three damned years and it has lost money hand over fist. I only kept it because it was your dream to run a publishing house. Now it is the best, and making a good profit for the first time."
"I wanted to work in one, not run one, besides I think you do a good job as CEO all ready."
"Yes, but it is your anniversary present, the first year is paper, a book is paper, so sign the paper and take the company and run with it. Happy anniversary Anastasia Grey..." I smile and nod my head, I did like acting as acting editor in charge. I love a good book...
"I will, but only if you take this gift from me Christian?" I pout.
"Okay, what did you get me?"
"I bought Australia for you."
"Seriously, what did you get me?" He frowns.
"In that file there, made from paper, is the deeds to the land you wanted there, as of midnight yesterday, you own quite a lot of Australian desert land."
"Ana how did you get the Paulson Brothers to budge?"
"I didn't, I spoke to their mother, and as she owns the major share, she and I shook virtual hands on it over the internet a few weeks ago. She loves the twins and she hates the boys fighting and ruining the company trying to outdo the other. This way she is getting her boys back."
"Good god, I love you Mrs Grey, wanna switch to the office next to mine when we get back?"
"No, we will never get any work done, and I am sure the staff know when the frosting goes up we are getting down right dirty in either office."
"Okay, stay where you are, the view from my office would have improved, that's all, don't worry about it, I am sure the exercise walking to and from your office is good for me." He winks and we sit down to eat.
We have come a long way in the one year we have been married, we lived through the shooting, the unexpected arrival of the babies... Then there was my disposing of my father and brother, wow that was a good day. I had them both cremated, with Grams permission. I then scattered them to the four corners of the wind, Geoff and his partner , Christian and I, Uncle Donald and Grams were the only ones there as I removed them from my life, removing them from my mind may take a little longer.
Disposing of Isabel's body, now that left me feeling so emotionless, as nobody wanted to claim her body so I did and with the help of a few Uncles, I disposed of both her and her mother; neither of them were claimed by anyone, they were unwanted in life and it seems in death. Elena, she had lain in a freezer for a long time, so I decided they needed to be together in death, had I had my way I think I would have shoved their sorry asses on a pikestaff and left them to rot in the desert and let the wildlife tear their bodies limb from limb, however, I had a nightmare the night before I was dealing with it all and they came back as vampires, so I made sure that when the day came, there wasn't any re-spawning in an shape or form, unless it was bucket shaped.
I swear I had no anger, no joy, nothing, I felt nothing for this thing, this family of monsters, not even hate; I decided feeling nothing was a good thing to feel. Even as I watched the undertaker as they laid her and her mother on those boards, I felt nothing. I watched as they burned to a crisp and felt nothing, and still I stood upright and stiff, as the dusty contents of the oven were emptied into a bucket of wet cement, okay this I did feel a twinge of happiness at doing. I stirred the contents as if I was stirring Carries Christmas pudding mix, and then after it set, we, Taylor, Sawyer and I, we sailed to the middle of Hanging Lake, cut a hole in the ice and dropped them into the cold watery grave, that was their joint forever place. I got back, went to the hospital and made love to my husband, because I needed to be in a good place after that epic body dump.
When we moved to Seattle, were we lived for a while, up in the clouds in Escala, I hated it and had nightmares about the twins falling to their deaths, it turned out that I suffered from a little patch of depression, I wasn't sleeping and I had an illogical brain thinking it wasn't really all over and someone was going to come back and ruin our lives together, I was an utter basket case living there. So, knowing I hated it Christian bought the property we live in, we poured money into the money pit that it was and moved in a month before the babies arrived. We have regular visits from my grams and of course, my mom and dad, but they took a three months off Ana watch to be with my brother and sister, they are moving to live near them too. I had them for a while and now we time share...
I needed to work, and so I took up the offered position at GEH; a position I knew that Christian had created for me, just so as I could be near him, my moving to Grey House as Christian's head of his e-books division, was in fact a good move and I quickly earned the respect of the people I worked with, the position may have been created for me, but I rocked and still rock at being the boss, and yup I get to sleep with the boss, well someone has too and why not me.
I have fought and won the war I had raged against the demons, evil demons I had been chasing for three years. I have helped reunite stolen children and I have helped hundreds of families get some final closure, when only their loved ones bodies were returned. We have, Christian and I, started a foundation into helping track and trace runaways and stolen children.
The best thing to come from finding those damned files in Isabel's cabin was the closing down of the biggest paedophile ring in America. The shooting of the monster Isabel, was the best thing to happen to us. My mother and the four other idiots are all serving life without possibility of parole, it seems my mother rocks orange, Jack, my brother lasted two months in the big house, before he pissed off the wrong man, and I sigh and feel nothing, because as I see it, it is one less man breathing good air, and had they not pissed of Isabel, this shit would not have happened, they were sick, she was actually sick and dying, but I will not morn her, I will rejoice in the fact that she cannot hurt anyone any more.
Isabel had however caused me to miss three years with Christian, and those are three years the children and me will never get back. I have to move on from that, and Jason helps me deal with that anger when it comes and it does and often. We run and train every day. I am looking forward to getting back to being good at running again and back to being the Ana that Christian whisked away for a few days to New York for some fun, to have sex and to have a good time. That week was the best and the worst time in my life, and one I thank god for everyday, because without it Christian and I would not have the family we have.
I also thank god for the sexy nurse Kate hired to feed me, lookout for me and yes change me, I knew when that nurse turned up to care for me, that the man was special, I just didn't realise how he would change my life, how his caring for a woman with a snotty cold would change our lives forever. I eat my salad and drink my milk, look at the man who wiped my nose and smile; I love my fudging life...
Thanks for reading it was fun... I love a HEA...