You, Me, Him, Her, Us, What?
She said she would go with them, she told them at lunch. They all cheered, drawing everyone's attention.
"That little slut," I hear Alice and Edward say.
"You shut you fucking mouths," the rest of us hiss.
"Jazzy, come on, she knows you two are mates and she's going off with them?" Alice says, "She's going to sleep with them, get pregnant and forget all about you! But I won't. I forgive you for what you said to me. Come back to me, Jazz. Let me allow you to forget her."
"That is my mate and it was MY idea for her to go. I told her to be a human as long as she could. You will NEVER compare to her and NOTHING you do will make me forget her."
Alice is already pissed off that he left her for a human. Not that they were anything but fuck-buddies. WE have a REAL relationship.
It sickens me that she wants him, that monster.
What does HE have that I don't?
Jasper needs to go.
And I know how to make it happen.
His decision will be his downfall.
"We should go up north and see how our little girl is doing," my comrade says.
"Agreed, but how do we earn her trust? How do we get her alone so we can speak to her?" my mate asks.
"We plan first," my friend states, "We need to factor in EVERYTHING."
"If only we had my Major back," my comrade sighs, "He was such a great strategist."
I put my hand on my comrade's shoulder, "Don't worry, my dear, everything will go our way."
I walk away, looking at our camp. I can't believe that my comrade actually called the girl, 'our little girl,' I wonder what that is all about.
The thirty vampires that are here, so far, are all working hard. We changed a few professionals for the upcoming war; Chemists, Engineers, among others.
Time is something we have a lot of.
But we are not humans anymore.
I despise waiting.
I am to wait for further orders. Damn, I hate being with them at times, and THIS is one of those times.
They told me that. I have been their faithful servant for over a century and this is what I get. I sigh. I don't mind so much, but I had hoped to get back home.
'Home.' Such an odd word. The saying 'home is where your heart is,' comes to mind. I don't know where my heart is though. I haven't found them yet.
So I wait.
Woo Hoo! She's coming!
I do a mini dance on the inside. No need to have my friends knowing how much of a hold she has on me.
I'm so confused right now.
I know I said yes, but I feel bad for it.
Jasper told me that Liam likes me, he practically growled it, and that it could give me time to consider it without him being there.
He should have just put me on a deserted island.
Sitting alone is what I need, but he insists.
I wonder what his end game is?
Is this his way of testing me?
Is he trying to keep me human so he could screw more vampires until he has to settle down with me?
Is he trying to give me the life that Rose didn't have and so desperately wants?
What is he doing?
What am I going to do?
What should I do?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
What the fuck is wrong with this situation?
I hate me right now.
I didn't think she would agree to go, but I'm guessing that Jasper somehow managed to get her emotions just right for that little trick to work.
I can't believe what Alice and Edward said, of course those two would be believed before us. I hate them, this family, but I only stay because of my mate and Jazz. I would wager a guess that the only reason Emmett hasn't left yet is because of Jazz and I. We both stay only because of Jazz.
Jazz probably stays because of us and the fact that the other four have torn him down and now he feels like a monster.
If anything, what we are and do, makes us the monsters.
I don't want to drink human blood. I couldn't do that to someone. I couldn't deny them their lives... But what if it was criminals? Like Chris' parents?
I better keep that from Eddie.
I wonder what Emmett would think?
I grin at the thought.
I wish that I could kill them, but no, have to keep up appearances.
I can't crush them like I'd like.
Carlisle and Esme.
Even if we could prove it, or we all told them the same basic story, they would never turn their back on their perfect children.
I know my mate has something on her mind.
When my Rosie has something on her mind she usually can't get it out.
I doubt that she will let me know right now.
She would have said it by now.
"Damn it, Peter!" I hiss, "You think I want our girl to be any kind of distance away from SOMEONE'S protection!"
"She will be with kids from sch-"
"You helped convince her!"
"It was either that or have the Major on our ass when we get back there!"
"So you saved OUR ass! Now, NOW, you want to be concerned about her choosing to go?"
"I didn't actually think she would! She was never like that here!"
"She didn't get off the ranch! None of her friends did either! They were happy! She didn't have to go away! Now that she has friends who do that kind of stuff, she can!"
I sigh, "This has got to be one of those parenting tests, 'Can you let your kid go away without you freaking out because you won't be there,' don't you think?"
I hear him chuckle and rush over to me, hugging me, holding me tight, "I think you're right. Are you going to be able to handle it?"
"I don't know. How can I be okay now, but I can't fathom the thought of her going with these people?"
"Because we know these people. We are still connected to her through them."
I just hum, he's right. I know he's right.
I am a bad mother one minute and a bad mate the next. Sometimes at the same time.
Life was and is never simple.
Every so often, life say, "Check Mate."
Those two words, just to make your life unstable for a time.
The word that is really scary to hear is, "Check."
That word giving you a choice on how to act to better your odds.
At that moment, not only was I told those two words, I was surrounded on all sides.
Not good at all.
I know she means well.
I hold her tightly, reminding myself of that.
I know why she did it.
I don't think I would have done anything different.
I wonder, though, what impact this will have on our daughter?
How will the Major react?
If my knower is right, which I'm ALWAYS lucky that it is, some people are going to be happy, some are going to be upset and some are going to have mixed feelings. I know, even without my knower, that, either way this goes, it will have a great impact on ALL of our futures.
She is a fascinating case.
I wonder, what could be occurring that would get me involved?
I look to the clouded sky, pondering how the future will turn out.
I look up to my ceiling, Jasper's downstairs with Rose and Em.
I can't sleep.
My mind is running ramped.
I groan and sit up, looking at my clock, "Are you fucking kidding me? It's two in the mother fucking morning."
I get out of bed, turn off my alarm and go to take a shower.
I let the water run down my back. I grab my loofa and the body wash, lathering it up until soap suds are dripping off and around my hands. I scrub furiously at my skin. The simple ministration plus the hot water makes my skin red and it feels like it's tearing off.
I shave my skin slowly, no need to bleed, after my scrubbing. Taking my time to do my legs. The razor blade could slip at any moment, slice deep enough for blood to drip out, but it feels good. After that I rescrub the areas that I shaved, roughen up the skin so that it isn't smooth.
I get a significant amount of shampoo and lather it up in my hands, then move onto my scalp. I can feel the bubbles lifting the strands up as I wash my hair. Not only is the hair and scalp getting washed, the scalp is getting massaged. I rinse out the bubbles and grab the conditioner, not too much, and return to my hair washing routine. I run my fingers through my hair and lightly scrubbing my roots.
I let the water run, it feels good. I place my head on the wall in front of the shower head, my arms overlapping as the lie on the wall, just above my head.
I just stand there, thinking.
I miss being down south. I didn't have all of this shit on my mind.
I sigh as I get out, another day.
A new day.
I get ready, slowly, ever so slowly.
I wonder how today's going to go.
With that in mind, I groan.
"Here we go again."