8Touches
Hey Everyone!
Here's my first FF in a long time. I'll hope you like it and would really love to hear from you.
Please note that I'm German and English is not my first language.
Have fun. =)
The first time it happens, it's because I'm in need of his help. Apparently he's got some knowledge that I've not. That's odd.
Clocks…what's there to know? Nothing much I assume…Or am I wrong?
Well he told me that I could come to him whenever I'll need some advice. And here we are.
Standing in front of one of the bigger clocks in the house near the staircase.
He talks and talks. Obviously he knows his clocks. He's standing rather close looking into my eyes. His own sparkling with some kind of emotion. Motivation and something more, I guess. I can't quite put a word to it. It's a look I've not seen on him yet. As he always appears rather cold and detached. Never letting his emotional mask slip. But maybe now I'm able to see how he really is.
He seems to really love this. But what exactly does he love about this, I wonder…all the things about working with clocks…or helping me, being asked for advice…or all of the above.
With all the time we've spend here standing around I'm afraid that big grumpy Carson will be on our backs eventually. We should really go on with what we are doing or we'll regret it deeply.
As if he's read my thoughts, he moves even closer to myself, puts his hands on my sides and steers me around until I'm standing in front of the clock. Him standing directly behind me. He's so close that I'm able to feel every breath he takes and hear every rustle of his clothes.
Rather too close if you ask me.
This fact makes me kind of nervous, my heart's beating a little faster than usually and I can feel my face beginning to heat. I'm breathing rather shallow as I don't want to move too much.
What else should I do…He's here to help me so it's not my place to push him away as I wouldn't want to offend him, put him off too much. Because who knows what the future will bring and how often I'll be in need of his advice again. Wouldn't want to get on his bad side.
So I'll chance a look over my shoulder so that he's aware that I'm following the things he's explaining…even when I'm not.
The next thing I notice is that he pulls me from my thoughts by a new, overwhelming sensation. He slowly takes my hand as if he doesn't want to frighten me by his doings…
too late for that.
He holds it up so that we are able so wind the clock on the right time. In the back of my mind I hear him talking about feeling an increase in resistance of some sort.
YES I feel this resistance. But not in connection with the clock but him holding my hand and being TOO CLOSE.
I have to take a deep breath as I'm feeling rather lightheaded. Probably because I'm so angry.
"I think so." I tell him to not make him notice that I've not been paying attention.
"That's what you are watching for. " I don't think so. "Never go past the point where the clock's comfortable", he says and puts his warm hand on my shoulder and moves even closer. I wasn't aware that'd be possible.
Nonetheless I have to smile a little as he talks about the clocks and makes it sound like they are living things. I tell him that and he's speaking again. Telling me about his dad having been a clockmaker and other things you may have to pay attention to in handling them.
I'm not really sure what to think of this whole situation beginning to fidget with my hand as I'm in dire need to let off some steam in any way.
It's been a long time since someone stood as close to me or touched me. I can't even put a finger on the last time someone touched me that much. It was probably back in London when I kissed some pretty girl one time or another.
Which is definitely a completely different situation from what we…what he's doing here!
In the background I hear him droning on and on about the clock without noticing what he's saying. At that moment I've drowned in my own little world contemplating the meaning of all of this.
It's not a bad feeling coursing through my body. But I can't put a name on it either.
It's just unique. Unfamiliar.
But I guess in a society like ours it's got to be normal to be confused by something as easy as a touch. As that's not a really common thing between people who are not friendly to or married with each other.
And if I'm completely honest with myself in this situation I'm a little freaked.
I'm just not accustomed to feel another person so close when I'm not related to them or in search of a new fling.
Maybe that's just the way he acts, I assure myself. I've got to pay closer attention to the way he's behaving with the other people downstairs.
Someone comes up the stairs and the moment's over.
Thankfully…
How I notice…well because he's pulled away and is not speaking anymore. He's standing at a common distance to myself again. What a relief…
His eyes are searching my face looking into my eyes doing what exactly…waiting for some kind of reaction maybe…well then he'll have a long time to wait. That's for sure.
Next I see a small smile flicker across his face. For most people you wouldn't even be able to describe it as a smile or notice it at all as there's just one corner of his lips slowly turning up. But his eyes shine with a warmth which show his intention. Afterwards he lowers his head insecurely as if he's not sure he did the right thing. Showing me his half-smile.
The way he's behaving I can't resist and push my doubts away, returning his smile with a small grin of thanks of my own.
Well I'll best give it all a chance. Maybe people here at Downton are just a little bit different from the ones at Lady Anstruther's.
And maybe he is just a touchy-feely person.
I'll probably get used to it given some time.
With a small indication of his head we're on our way back downstairs. No other words are spoken between us. Not that I've made much of a noise during this encounter.
Now I'm allowing myself to breath deeply again letting all the pressure and insecurities which've crept into my posture fall off.
I have to wonder where they've come from as I've never been a shy person.
I'm Jimmy Kent.
I'm NOT insecure.
Never.