1Hello everyone who has ever subscribed to my stories, first off let me apologize for taking so long to update and for abandoning a few of my stories for so long. Life has done is damnedst to make sure that I haven't had time to write anymore weither it would be through work; personal time, or training for my dream job.I would like to say I am really sorry for taking so long to truly get over it and to finally get back to you guys and gals. Okay authors note is out of the way, so we can get down to business. One of the main reasons that I haven't been posting as often as I did last year was because I've had so many ideas for stories that I haven't been able to keep my thoughts straight, but then I had an idea, almost everyone and their mother on fanfiction has a dust bunny dump site that usually turns out to be pretty successful, so it hit me, why don't I do that so I don't lose my ideas, and you guys can have some entertainment out of it? So without further adieu I present to you, Legends of Lunacy!
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Chapter one
( a self insert? AWESOME!)
" Ugh, why does it have to be so hard to write my ideas on to paper!" Our story begins with a typical sight of modern America, a young teenaged boy on the cusp of manhood, sitting alone in front of a computer, fruitlessly trying and mostly failing to pen the wonders of his imagination into the wondrous fluidity of the written word. He wore clothes of the middle american man at rest, a t-shirt and sweatpants. He breathed out a sigh through his nose as he reclined into his favorite arm chair and ran his hands through his lengthy brown locks, his green eyes were alight in a frustration induced fury that seemed to make the ocular obs glow in the dying light of day. " Its always the same; I have these ideas, incredible works of fantasy that only I can see and hear, yet no matter how hard I try,when I write them down they never come out the way I want! Not enough detail, to much exhibition, too stiff dialogue, its completely maddening!"
He shifted his gaze from the computer screen to the ceiling above him as he let out another sigh," Sometimes I just wish I could live out my stories, to experience them in reality as I do in my dreams, is that too much to ask?". His head lulled back to look at his screen, before coming to a rest in the familiar embrace of his fingers gripping his forehead near his temple. " Are ya sure about laddie? Who says ya can't!" His body stiffing up in surprise and no small amount of fear. He had been alone when he started writing, the doors had been locked, how did someone get in?!
The focus of our view turns his head to look at the source of the horrifyingly familiar scottish brogue. He knew that voice, it was a voice any bethesda gamer would know. Our source of interest's eyes locked onto the intruder of his private thoughts and home, scarcely believing what his eyes were trying to tell them. The intruder was standing against the door,leaning on a staff crafted from black metal with the effigy of three heads each screaming in there own brand of madness, whether it be light, oppressive, or just indifferent. He wore a finely crafted suit made of some type of cloth of extreme expense. His suit jacket with puffy sleeves was split into to different, yet similar colors, the left half was a light; almost joyous purple, while the right was a darker and significantly more menacing shade of similar color . Continuing with the theme of noble dress, the unwelcome visitor wore a pair of red slacks and black dress shoes. the boy"s eyes rose up to the invader's face, his was one of noble birth, thus explaining the clothes. High cheek bones, an aquiline nose, however it was the eyes that captured our host's attention the most. colored a bright golden yellow, the pupil was slitted like that of a cat, and they shone with an insanity so deep and so vast that you could almost hear the screaming of lunatics from the hidden horizon. the young author froze, his mind racing. How about we take a look inside his thoughts and get a better idea of his reaction.
" What does one do", he wondered "when one meets a god?" the first thought that came to mind was to dismiss this as a dream, a simple figment of his overworked mind…. however to be on the safe side….. I quickly stood up and bowed at the waist, "Lord Sheogorath, I wasn't expecting you." The daedra prince just smiled and laughed. it was not a nice smile. " You didn't expect ME!" he laughed his voice shifted to a very high pitch near the end, causing me to cringe, good lord that is unnerving. "Of course you didn't you nitwit, nobody ever expects ol' Sheo!" he laughed again but stopped as soon as he had started." Is-" I swallowed to clear my voice, " Is there something you need?"
I feel like i'm sweating buckets, the lord of insanity himself is here, talking to me, and he shouldn't even be real! what gives!? He flashes me that horrible smile again before speaking, even as I suppressed a shiver. " You said you wished you could live out your stories, Well Laddie i'm giving you the chance! HAHA!" I could feel myself turn a chalky white, I didn't actually expect an answer to my complaints! "Thats right your going to go right in and live that story you were writing, but seeing as you don't have any combat prowess or even a wabbajack as magnificent as mine, I feel I should give my new minion a power boost before I drop you off in your new world." I Shook myself out of my surprise," What, but I can't go! I have a life here, my family and friends!" it would only be a micro second later that maybe the idea of trying to deny a daedra prince wasn't such a could idea.
Sheogorath's face suddenly flew into a rage of the likes of which I have never seen, his voice becoming a loud rumbling roar, "Not anymore you don't! You are mine now boy, and if I want to send you to another realm for my enjoyment then I will do so no matter what you say or how much you scream!" I backed away to the opposite wall, he followed me step by step until I could go no further, his horrific eyes filling up my entire field of vision. " My hooky hooks are in ya soul now boy! from now until you die you are mine until I tire of you!" His words dropped in volume to a deathly whisper, "Got that sunny?" I nodded as fast as I could, not trusting myself to speak. My new master's face lit up like a child's on christmas," Oh goody! I was afraid I'd at least have to rip out your entrails!" he clasped his hand onto my shoulder in a vice like grip as he began to steer me towards the door. " Now you can get your choice of wishes but you can only have three so use them wisely!" he finished his sentence in a sing song voice.
At this point i was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, my mind trying to come up with three things that I could use on my 'quest' I was unwillingly being volunteered for...maybe with the proper wording... yes this could work." My Lord I-I have decided on what my first wish will be," I stuttered but tried to keep myself calm, the pressure was helping my to focus on what I was trying to say, and not the god-like being who held my soul in his metaphorical fist. " I wish to have a polymorph spell, something that will allow me to change my form into that of a great warrior,an animal that can hide in plain sight, and perhaps something that could fly?". His face lit up with manic joy as he lifted his staff to call his will into being". Wait I'm not finished!" I would later be amazed that he did infact stop and didn't even show anger, but merely surprised that I has asked him to wait, " my second wish.." I took a breathe, this one would probably make him a little upset,
" My second wish is that I be allowed to do as I will" I saw his face darken and I hurriedly explained myself, " I-I-I mean if all I do is cause destruction you will quickly tire of me m-my lord, wouldn't you rather I try and make it interesting for you?" The manic joy was back,that was good, happy sheo wouldn't smite me… I hope. " And what is your third wish servant? Speak quickly or you will have no Cheese!" resisting the urge to flinch, I spoke my third wish," a large pack of holding my lord that is all else I could ask for." i spoke quickly wanting to just get this started and get as far away from this being as i possibly could. He began to twirl his staff like a baton, gathering waves of fire, lightning and roaring darkness in the area of the spinning staff, his deranged grin grew even more unhinged," thats three NOW SMILE FOR ME!" he threw the mystical energies that cover his staff at me and it wasn't until the vortex was about to hit me that i thought i should probably have asked for the process to be painless...20/20 in hindsight as the saying goes.
while i would have loved to have said the pain was tolerable but that would be a lie, as soon as i got hit my entire body literally exploded with pain, blood flew and i fell into the black recesses of consciousness. now let me tell you that even falling unconscious wasn't enough to block out the pain completely. i could feel my bones growing, especially in my right arm as i felt the limb grew stronger and stronger, all the while my hand was changing. it is a very painful process for a person's fingers to fuse together and form a two fingered claw with a single grasping thumb claw. My body began to bulk up, packing on a serious amount of muscle power.
suddenly, with a sudden flash of mind rending haze light, my body was completely adorned with a azure colored armor with the exception of my right arm, the gauntlet, the plate battle skirt, breastplate and helm were made of a bluish steel. on the Breastplate there was a raised sigil of an eye. while the helm completely covered my face, with the exception of the eye slit, i could feel who extensions swooping back from my temples, these extensions were shaped like the wings of bats, then the back of my head began to itch before my hair grew longer than it had ever had before, turning a deep blood red color before it finally stopped growing me the small of my back. then it appeared, standing at what I ould guess to be around six feet tall and two feet wide stood a sword unlike any other. Its steel blade was razor sharp and cast with the bloody glow of millions slain. Carved into the steel were runes of unknown origin and on the hilt, right where the blade met the handle, a large blood red eye opened and looked about before settling its gaze upon me. When our eyes locked I felt a kinship, and a voracious hunger to devour all that stood before me.
suddenly the process reversed,and the world seemed to grow massively before my eyes, my limbs fused to my torso, my ribs multiplied in a vast number and the sword of legends disappeared like a misty haze. As I fell to the ground my hair grew back into my flesh, as scales of a molted sandy brown ripped their way through my skin. My teeth fused together into a pair of great fangs,behind them I felt what I knew had to be venom sacks forming. then my eyes, by the good lord, my eyes began to change! no longer did I see in color as I was used too, but in blues, reds, yellows, and whites.
I reared back, the hood of skin around my neck flaring in my distress. thankfully this form changed as well, my scaled hide began to rip itself from my form exposing black feathers, my eyes quickly morphed back into the colored spectrum, allowing me a small moment of relief, through the pain I was feeling as my mouth warped and shifted into a razor sharp beak. My feet and legs grew back but were thin, three toed, with a single balancing digit from the other end of the clawed appendages. I lay on the ground, twitching in pain, yet when I try and vocalize it all that escapes my beak is a weak, choked caw. My skull felt like it was splitting, the knowledge of what my three forms would look like having been shoved into my brain like a watermelon in a blender, Sheo's doing no doubt.
Speaking of who, Sheogorath towered over my feeble body, before stooping down to pick me up in his hands. He then began walking toward an oblivion gateway that he then opened with just a simple gesture. " Okay boyo, ya got your fancy spells and ya pack will be waiting for you when you wake in the new realm, so here a quick rundown of your polymorphin powers, when you wake up you will be yer old self again, but on your left hand you will have three tattoos: a feather, a freaky eye, and a fang, i know you can figure it out!" i struggled weakly in his grip as he held me in a single hand before rearing his arm back away from the portal. what is he- oh wait PLEASE GOD NO! my struggles intensified as he tossed me through the dimensional tear like a professional quarterback, the last thing I heard before I went through the portal was," keep it interesting boy!" then everything went black…
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Okay guys that was my fist chapter of Legends of Lunacy, please let me know how you feel about it, but keep the flaming to a minimum. Also as a reminder, for those of you asking about The Gamer effect, I still need you guys and gals to send me your submitions for the story to continue, with the way my mind has been coming up with ideas I haven't been able to focus on anything for a long period of time. thanks again an ill see you next time!