SpongeBob Snaps

It's nearly three a.m. in the morning as the citizens of Bikini Bottom haven't realized that last night they lost a member of their own society. Last night Bikini Bottom's own Squidward Tentacles was official declared missing for eighty hours and they only had two prime suspects for his disappearance; SpongeBob Squarpants and Patrick Star. The two suspects had also been reported as missing for the last seventy hours, and both had failed to check in with their respective employer or parents since then.

In the Bikini Bottom Police Station interrogation room C two hand cuffed prisoners are currently being beat with two large Bikini Bottom yellow pages books; one a yellow sponge and one a pink starfish as they both grunted in pain as the two Police Officers repeatedly beat the two suspects.

"Where is Mr. Tentacles!?" Officer Jones demanded as the two stopped their interrogations tactic. "Answer us you filth!"

"Hehehehe! Why would we tell you?" SpongeBob giggled in insanity. "Pig! Hehehe!"

"Why you yellow son of a blowfish!" Officer Jones yelled in anger as his partner Officer Stacy calmed his nerves.

"Easy there, Jones." Officer Stacy assured his partner as she looked down at the two suspects. "They'll confess sometime soon, I can feel it in my dolsor fin."

"Waahaahahawaaah!" Patrick Starr sobbed as tears flowed down his cheeks.

Flashback Started.

Week before.

Squidward Tentacles is known throughout Bikini Bottom as the neighborhood heckler; it didn't matter who it was or what was occurring, he disapproved either way. He was just walking towards his Easter Island Head house after the night of his squid lounge, which he finally got accepted back into as he hummed one of his favorite opera songs that was coming through his ear buds connected to his mp3 player. He is enjoying himself since neither SpongeBob nor Patrick had bothered him for a whole week and he was loving every second of it. Squidward doesn't care one bit about what happened to them, they've probably got stuck inside a shed for all he cares.

He was enjoying the music on his mp3 player when the sound of his doorbell rang throughout his house he sighed in annoyance before taking his earphones out of his ears and settled them onto his nightstand before glaring at the door as he made angrily walked toward his front door. The squid didn't know who was at the door but no matter who it was he or she were going to face his tentacle wrath at ruining his time to practice his precious clarinet. When the already angry Squidward reached andopenedthe door his anger sky rocketed to pure fury at seeing the smiling yellow face of his neighbor SpongeBob Squarpants waving at him with one open hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other.

"What do you want, SpongeBob?" Squidward demanded as his grip on the doorknob tightened immensely, to which it slightly cracked.

"H-H-Hi, Squidward!" SpongeBob greeted in his normal high pitched voice which cracked in nervousness. "H-Ho-ow a-are you doing today?"

"Spit it out, SPONGEBOB! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" Squidward yelled as his short patience was already at its last straw when it came to the neighborhood yellow sponge.

"I-I love you!" SpongeBob blurted out with a massive blush on his rosy yellow cheeks.

"Well I DON'T LOVE YOU, AND I NEVER WILL!" Squidward shouted at the sponge in a really harsh manner that wouldn't surprise anybody if they saw it happen. "And if I see you do something like this again, I WILL HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER ON YOUR SPONGEY LITTLE ASS!" He then slammed the door in front of the yellow sponge in hopes that SpongeBob would finally get the message that he had been sending for years now.

In shock SpongeBob stood there for several seconds before something in his psyche snapped as a insane smile grew upon his lips that seemed to consume most of his face as he walked like a zombie back to his pineapple house. "Well then SpongeBob… if you won't love me... then I'll just have to make you stay with me forever. Forever. HAHAHAHA!" He giggled to himself before he looked into thewindow, upat his love listening to his music and played his instrument before he started to cackle madly as he walked into his house.


"Meow." Gary greeted his master as he entered through the front door and instantly regretted it as his eyes locked with his master's whose had a look of blood lust and fury in them. "Meow." The pet whimpered as he backed away into a corner and watched as his master walked into the kitchen and came back with a hammer and a bottle of salt. "Meow?" He whimpered as he sensed that his life was in grave danger.

"Goodbye, Gary." SpongeBob whispered to his pet as he jumped forth with a primal and heartbreaking scream.

The little pet snail tried oh yes he tried but he couldn't escape from his crazed master who smashed the hammer on the poor pet's shell, shattering it into pieces which made the pet cry out in agony at losing its protective shell and personal home.

"How about some salt, Gary?" SpongeBob asked as he cackled while dumping little by little sprinkles of salt onto his pet which burned like acid to the snail as he wailed in pain and misery. "Bye bye, Gary." He bided his farewell to his long time loyal friend and pet as he felt no remorse in his actions of murder.

"M-MEEEOOOW!" Gary cried out in his final word as the pet snail dissolved completely into his bodily remains of a gooey substance and salt that was used as a weapon.

"Now all I need is Patrick to help me with my plans." SpongeBob told himself as he laughed like a maniac. At the nick of time Patrick came crashing into the pineapple house of his best friend.

"Hey, SpongeBob!" Patrick shouted his greeting as he noticed the spot of what was left of Gary. "What's going on there? Did you spill some bath salt on the floor again?" It was then the starfish noticed his best friend turning around creepily, which startled the dumb pink fat starfish. This was the same creepy look SpongeBob gave to him when Patrick took his job at the Krusty Krabs and he was forced to take the day off from work.

"Hi, Patrick!" SpongeBob greeted as he hid his hammer behind his back. "Do you want to go to Squidward's house?"

Flashback Ends.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAH! AHAHA-" SpongeBob started to laugh like a maniac before one of the cops hit him in the stomach with his nightstick. "Ahk ahk." He caughed after the hit. "Are you sure that you want to know what happened to Squidward? Because I think I might just tell you." He asked in a creepy sing a long voice which unnerved the police.

"Yes we do!" Officer Jones growled. "Now spill the beans, psycho!"

"Fine then. Since you asked to politly." SpongeBob smirked evil before he took a deep breath. "It started like this."

Flashback Started.

"Stupid SpongeBob, with his stupid confession." Squidward muttered to himself as he climbed into his bed. The squid tossed and turned in his bed, for some reason he couldn't get comfortable in his bed. "Although I almost feel sorry for the poor guy... haha almost."

As Squidward tried to sleep, he heard glass breaking downstairs; frightened that there might be a burglar in his house; he got out of bed as he held a flashlight in one hand and a bat in another. He always carried a bat with him whenever someone broke into his house, hopefully this time it wasn't more of SpongeBob's shenanigans. As the squid made his way downstairs he saw his shatteredwindowand a rock is placed on the floor, by the window.

"What in the name of Neptune?" Squidward asked himself as he is unaware of the two shadows behind him. "Please don't tell me it's those anti-squids groups I've been hearing about?" He pleaded to himself in fear as he was knocked out by the weight of something colliding with the back of his head by a blunt object. As the blue skinned squid fell down onto the floor. The last thing he saw in his blurred vision was a yellow square and a pink blob.

"This is going to be fun." SpongeBob's voice whispered deviously.

"Yeah! Fun!" Patrick cheered in delight.


'Wha...what happened?' Squidward thought to himself as he found his mouth duck tapped shut and his arms somehow were bound behind his back. 'Why did they bind me?'

"Hello... Squidward." A creepy voice greeted him as he instantly opened his eyes and searched for the voice but found nobody. "It's so nice to see you." The voice rang again and this time a familiar yellow sponge walked out of the shadows with a pink star following closely behind him.

'SpongeBob!? Patrick!?' Squidward exclaimed to himself as his screams were muffled from the duck tape. 'IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE!?' He thought until he saw a table to his left laid with sharp utensils and dissection tools, including a peeler.

"Hi Squidward!" Patrick exclaimed as he smiled. "Me and SpongeBob are going to play a game with you!"

'HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!' Squidward screamed in his head as the man who he just rejected calmly walked towards him with a coldness in his eyes that made him shiver at the sight. 'I'M SOORY! I'M SOORY! DON'T YOU HEAR ME GOD, I'M SORRY! I'LL DO ANYTHING! I'LL EVEN GO OUT WITH SPONGBOB! PLEASE!' He pleaded before a cold chuckle pulled him from his thoughts as a sharp tingle of pain made his eyes jump to the dissecting tool slicing into his skin on his chest. "MMMMMMMMMMMM!"

"Are you sure that this is a game, SpongeBob?" Patrick questioned which gave the squid hope.

"Sure it is, pal. Why don't you give it a try?" SpongeBob replied as he handed the knife over to his friend. "Why don't you go for the face or something."

"OKAY!" Patrick cheered as he came toward his tied up friend. "Isn't this fun, Squidward?"

'PATRICK, STOP! THIS IS WRON!' Squidward screamed out of his mind as he saw the blade getting closer to his face.

Patrick did as the sponge ordered him to do as the starfish placed the knife to the blue skin of the squid's face, as he began to peel the squid's face like he would peel an apple. He peeled the skin as Squidward screamed in agony, which the pink starfish ignored as he accidentally cut off Squidward's nose.

"Whoops, got your nose!" SpongeBob teased as he held onto the blue nose as he laughs childishly.

'MY NOSE!' Squidward screamed in thought as the starfishcontinuedto peel his face off as he grabbed the flabby blue flesh

"Good work, Patrick." SpongeBob commented to his friend's work, as he rubbed his own hands maniacally. "Now let's peel off the skin from his whole body."

"This game is fun, SpongeBob!" Patrick exclaimed as he started to peel off the rest of the squid's skin. "I'm glad you invited me to join!"

"So am I, Patrick." SpongeBob replied in his bubbly voice. 'Now Patrick, you will take the fall for Squidward's murder and my kidnapping. 'AHAHAHAHAH!' "AHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"What's so funny, best buddy?" Patrick asked as he peeled all of the skin off of their victim's arms.

"Just a joke, Pat." SpongeBob replied with a devious smirk.

Squidward's eyes threatened to drop closed as the pain became almost unbearable as the pink sidekick started to peel his legs and all he could do was scream in pain and watch as the starfish did the peeling. 'PLEASE STOP THIS!' "MMMMMMMM!"

"Oh what was that?" SpongeBob questioned as heslowlyremoved the duck tape from his love's mouth.

"I'M SOOOOOORRRRY!" Squidward cried out in a blood curling scream.

"Sorry? What does Squidward mean, SpongeBob?" Patrick asked as he is ignored by his best friend.

"Oh Squidward." SpongeBob sang as he gave off the most creepiest of grins. "It's too late for the sorries. No matter how much I tried to please you, no matter how much I try to be close to you, to be a good neighbor and co-worker for you, but it wasn't enough, now was it?" The sponge picked up a machete as he tapped it with his hand. "You always never wanting to have fun with me and Patrick, and when you have other things that makes you happy, I had to ruin it for you, so that I CAN BE THE ONE AND ONLY PERSON TO MAKE YOUHAPPY!"

"Wha-what?" Squidward asked in fright. He then thought back to the times where anytime he wanted to do something for himself, SpongeBob ruined it for him. The squid lounge, the jellyfishing, the choir, all of the events were done on purpose by SpongeBob so the sponge can have fun and spend some time with him. Squidward always thought that karma simply bit his on the ass for refusing to spend time with SpongeBob, but this was worse.

"You know how many lives I had to ruin just so that I can have time with you!?" SpongeBob demanded from him as he still has that damn creepy smile. "If I can't have you, Squidward, then I'll have to wear you!"

As soon as SpongeBob's machete made contact with Squidward's throat, the sponge pulled it back and then slashed the head off, causing Squidward's head to fall onto the ground with a sickly thud. It then rolled over near Patrick's feet.


"AHAHAH! AHAHAH! AHAHAH!" SpongeBob cackled in psychotic delight before he gathered the peeled skin into a pile and threw them into the freezer to preserve them until he was ready to wear them. "The game is finished Patrick, you may go."

"YOU KILLED SQUIDWARD!" Patrick yelled in freight of his best friend.

"Correction! We killed Squidward!" SpongeBob yelled back with that crazy glint still in his eyes. "So I suggest you go back home and forget that this ever happened!" He ordered as he best friend coward before him and whimpered as he left the room with tears consuming his eyes and guilt weighing down on him. "Just keep on walking, starfish! And keep that mouth shut!"

As the pink starfish left the room and then the house the yellow sponge made his way to freezer and started to stitch the pieces of flesh together to create a coat for himself.

Flashback Ends

"STOP! END IT RIGHT THERE!" Officer Jones screamed in terror. "The medical examiner said that several strips of Mr. Tentacles skin was missing and we want to know where it is! And where is the head as well!"

"I got a little hungry while I was modeling my coat." SpongeBob replied with a twisted grin.

Officers Jones and Officer Stacy looked at the yellow sponge with horror. They, as well as everyone in town, knew about this optimistic sponge; SpongeBob Squarpants was known to be friendly, goofy, annoying, and a bit stalker crazy. But skinning someone alive was something they can never comprehend.

"And what about you, Patrick Star? You're as guilty as the yellow bastard over here." Officer Stacy asked the frightened starfish.

"I...I...I THOUGHT IT WAS A GAME!" Patrick claimed as he grabbed Officer Stacy's gun and aimed it at his once best friend. "AND IT'S GAME OVER FOR YOU, SPONGEBOB!"

"Go ahead, Patrick." SpongeBob encouraged while his creepy grin still intact. "Pull the trigger, not like you know how to use a gun!" He barked before he laughed like a maniac.

"Drop the gun!" Officer Jones ordered as he drew his own side arm and aimed at the starfish. "Drop it or I'm dropping you!"

"You said it was a game!" Patrick cried as he tears flowed down his cheeks as his hands jerked which the police officers saw as a move to shoot.

"Goodbye" Spongbob told his once friend as he was shot several times by Officer Jones which caused him to fall onto the sponge who quickly caught the gun and aimed at the armed cop. "Now who will be doing the dropping?"

"Drop that gu-" Officer Jones got out before blood spilled out of his mouth and from his stomach as hot lead got pumped into him and then his partner.

"I need to get back to my safe house where I stashed Squidward's head and kiss my angel goodbye." SpongeBob stated with a no emotion in his voice but his eyes were wide open and his grin was large and evil. "Any piggy that gets in my way will die."

As SpongeBob makes a run for it, he headed down a safe house where he stashed the refrigerated head in an old spare refrigerator. Once he got inside, he spotted a large figure next to his fridge, holding a old fashioned shot gun.

"You're not going anywhere, ye yellow bastard." Said a voice that SpongeBob knew all too well as the sponge let a sadistic grin show on his features.

"Gee, never knew you'd cared about someone other than money, Eugene." SpongeBob sneered as Mr. Krabs held his shot gun up and aimed it at his yellow sponge employee.

"SpongeBob, you've been a loyal employee at the Krusty Krabs for fifteen years." Krabs started as a tear let out. "You and Squidward were like children to me, and without you two my business won't be running. But then there's teenagers out there that I know I can hire for dirt cheap prices, and I know that you need to be stopped. So consider yourself fired, Mr. Squarpants."

"NOBODY FIRES ME, KRABS!" SpongeBob barked as he ran towards his once beloved boss as his arm was then shot off.

"You used to be a good lad, SpongeBob!" Mr. Krabs cried out as he cocked his shotgun. "You used to make people smile, you were high quality! But then as the years past, you've gone wrong. I've ignored it but it was too late, you're just an over worked mad worm who needs to be put down!" He then brought out a grenade as he held Squidward's head out of the fridge and stuff inside its mouth.

"DROP MY BELOVED'S HEAD!" SpongeBob yelled as the blood lust left his eyes and he started to cry in despair. "Please put it down!" He continued to cry out as his ex-boss started to feel pity for the sponge that was driven insane.

"Aye lad." Mr. Krabs replied as he placed the head by the crying man and walked away forgetting about the grenade in the head's mouth. The crab reached the door on the other side of the room when he heard the sound of the pin leaving the grenade. "What?"

"Fucking die, Krabs!" SpongeBob roared as his twisted grin return and his arms had grown back.

The last thing the man saw was his one employee kissing the faceless and skinless head. 'I'm sorry, lad. I leave the Krusty Krab and Pearl to you, Plankton.' Mr. Krabs thought as he is engulfed into the flames, killing everyone present.

"How we can be together forever, my love." SpongeBob cooed to the head before he felt a hot sensation piercing his stomach. "Aah! W-What?" He turned to see his boating teacher with a .44 Magnum in her hands and tears in her eyes. "H-How? W-Why?"

"For the years of putting me to jail for your fuck ups, SpongeBob." Mrs. Puff replied as she smoked a cigarette. "See you in hell, you yellow bastard." Her final words echoed throughout the room as the explosion from the gun drowned out everything as the bullet shot through the sponge's brain; killing him instantly.