I look at the photo of Duncan, and throw it down on my bed angrily. I take the large picture of the entire Total Drama cast and slowly scribble away Duncan and Gwen. But then I look at it again, and I know in an instant it's not right without him. The picture is wet – I've been crying – and then I crumple it up and throw it in the bin, and start desperately convincing myself it is all okay.
But it's not.
The thing about me and Duncan is we were never going to make it, and these days I'm absolutely convinced he did it just to break my heart into more pieces then he would have originally.
The thing about me and Duncan's relationship was that we were both aware that we'd never make it. For a while, I thought this wasn't true, and we would make it. I was so utterly convinced we were going to make it.
But we didn't.
I always viewed thought of love as a human – how it keeps growing and you get more in love every single day, and then it disappears. It dies. And then, painfully, you get on with your life – but it comes back in the afterlife, and you suddenly regret ever letting it go.
Sometimes I'm told by my family that true love does exist. Not forever, though. It'll always slip no matter what, and that's the hard part. Dealing with it.
And although Duncan cheated on me, I can sometimes thank Duncan for doing it. Because in the end, I would have broken up with him, and for me to break it off with him, it would have been harder than this.
Maybe this was how it was supposed to end. We couldn't possibly have made it, and I couldn't have possibly broken his heart, so this is better. It's hard to say, but this is better.
I don't hate Duncan, though. Of what we had, we had some pretty good times together. It wasn't much – he was a criminal – but it was enough. Love was meant to die. And it's going to come back – I'm not sure when, but it's gonna come back to me at some stage.
I look at the computer beside the bin reluctantly. I type Duncan and Courtney, and then click images.
I wish in my heart I could say they're fake, but they're true. Every single kiss, every single image of us together…it's all true.
And it hurts.
I will always be shattered, no matter what. They'll always be a small piece missing in my heat dedicated to the green-haired delinquent, but the other parts will form over time. It'll never be full, but I'll live. And maybe in a few years I'll see magazines labelling their marriage.
Duncan wasn't the best. He had his faults, and his hair, but he'll probably go far enough. He might break it off with Gwen like he did with me, and he just might not. And I wish Gwen a lot of luck with him. You'll want him away as soon as you get him. And maybe she'll come to me and tell me that he broke up with her, and I'll just laugh. And then I'll tell her what I've told myself constantly these past few days.
A/N - … I'm not sure what I should say. Usually I'd have absolutely tons, but I don't. It's a pretty harsh subject for anyone who has dated or is dating someone, I guess. But it's true.
Yeah. Romeo and Juliet had 'true love' but they both died, so in a way their love kind of died. Faded away. Yeah, it was rather short. But I got my main message across, really. Review how you feel about it, I guess.
Just remember no love's gonna last forever, so make it work while you can.